Monthly Archives: January 2016

My Next Door Neighbor Has The Loudest Guitar In The World

Develop Linguistic Flexibility

When I was in high school, I loved geometry.

My friends either loved it, or hated it.

I liked the idea of solving problems via “proofs.”

You had this angle or shape or something.

And you had to “prove” that a certain angle was the same as another certain angle.

You had to go through a step by step process where you used some ideas that were simply assumed to be true.

Like if you take a line, and bisect it with another line, the two angles on either side of the bisecting line HAVE TO BE equal to 180 degrees. Or the sum of all angles within a triangle HAVE TO BE 180 degrees.

In NLP, they have a list of “presuppositions.” Things that are simply assumed to be true.

You can’t prove them, but you can’t disprove them.

Like having more resources is better than having less resources.

Or every single person is always doing the best they can, given their skills and their understanding of the situation, to get their needs met, as they see them.

Or the more flexible you are with how you achieve your outcome, the more likely you’ll achieve it.

One of my favorite presupposition is that nobody is “broken.”

It’s just a matter of increasing your understanding of what you want, increase your awareness of your situation, and increasing your skills.

If you accept those three things, which are ALL under your control, you can get anything.

Within the Covert Hypnosis training program, there’re these things called “Linguistic Presuppositions.”

These are grammatical structures that kind of force you to accept something as true in order to make sense of the sentence.

Like if I said, “My next door neighbor’s guitar is the loudest in the world,” you’d have to ASSUME certain things in order to formulate a response.

Like I have a next door neighbor. He or she has a guitar. It’s loud. Etc.

Or consider this sentence:

One reason the Covert Hypnosis training program is so popular is it allows you to become incredibly persuasive without seeming like a salesperson.

What are the assumptions?

It’s popular. It’s popular for many reasons.

It does a lot of things OTHER than training you how to become persuasive.

One of those other things is it is a FANTASTIC tool for self development.

How?

One of the ways to practice the patterns is to write them out.

When you write out the presuppositions, you can use any “assumptions” you want to be assumed true, as you drill them into your brain.

Things like, “you are persuasive.”

Or “making money is easy.”

Or “expressing myself in public is fun.”

Or “getting a good paying job is easy.”

And on and on.

What TRUTHS would you like to program into your brain?

Get Started:

Covert Hypnosis

Mother Nature Always Wins - She Is Persistent

Become A Social Super Hero

I had this friend that was into making jewelry.

She would buy these rocks, and put them in this tumbler.

(not the blog, and actual tumbler).

And had a really rough surface on the inside. The rock would go in, tumble around for a couple days, and come out smooth.

Kind of like how ocean waves relentlessly pound rocks into sand, only a lot quicker.

It’s also why rocks at the bottom of streams are smooth, while rocks out in the wind are rough.

The thing about Nature is she is relentless. She never gives up. She always wins.

There’s an ancient Chinese Proverb that says, “If you wait by the river long enough, you can see the bodies of your enemies floating by.”

Which means patience, above all, will win. If you are rash, and take action, you may win, but you may end up biting off more than you can chew.

I know, we only have one life, right? We don’t have eons of time to slowly wear down our rough spots into smooth edges.

But think about this. What if you started FIVE YEARS ago, doing some kind of skill improvement, for ONLY ten minutes a day.

What kind of skills would you have now?

What if you start now, what will you be like a year from now?

One of the paradoxes of human life is we don’t want to do things unless we are GUARANTEED to see an IMMEDIATE result.

Nobody buys books on how to get rich slowly, or lose one pound a week for two years.

We keep trying these goofy plans time after time, and NEVER get anywhere.

Meanwhile, those slow and steady tortoises are kicking our ass!

Here’s one way you can DRAMATICALLY improve yourself over the next year.

There’s a whole section in the Covert Hypnosis book on practice drills.

Where you take each pattern, and write out a bunch of examples.

A fantastic way to do that, while boosting your own self confidence and social skills at the same time, is take those exercises and write to yourself.

Instead of some imaginary person sitting in front of you that you are selling to or trying to seduce, write the patterns to yourself.

And use the patterns to persuade yourself that you are ultra confident. Super intelligent. Powerfully attractive. Socially outgoing. Massive self esteem.

If you do that, not only will you become a ninja with the patterns, but you’ll also SLOWLY transform yourself into a social skills super hero.

Able to sell anything to anybody, and sweep anybody off their feet.

Get Started:

Covert Hypnosis

Acres of Cornfields

The Essential Skill That Nobody Knows

Why do people talk?

I mean why do us humans use words?

Sure, communication is nice, but why is it necessary?

How did it happen, and why were those who used it able to succeed better than those who weren’t?

I know, silly question.

Giving instructions, listening to stories, all this helped primitive humans a lot more than grunts and sounds.

But here’s an interesting experiment.

Next time you’re in a conversation with your buddies, and you’re just sitting around, go into “observer” mode.

Not for very long. And certainly NOT as an excuse to not participate.

But just to get out of the conversation a bit. Study the structure of the words and sentences that people are using.

See how well people describe their ideas.

It won’t take long to realize that most casual conversations are not really much more than grunts.

Not a lot of well thought out ideas.

This is even more eye opening if you position yourself next to a cute girl in a social setting.

And listen to how the guys hit on her.

Listen to how well (or how poorly) their language is structured.

Again, you’ll be surprised (or maybe not so surprised) how “thrown together” people’s approach at a clear attempt at persuasion.

If you wanted to take this experiment even further, take a walk into some high end retail shops. Car lots. Even a real estate office if you’re brave.

Reverse engineer the structure of their sales presentation.

See how well thought out it is (or isn’t). Most of the time, you’ll find that even the HIGHEST PAID sales people don’t do much more than tell you how AWESOME their product is. Over and over and over. Until you give up and buy.

Most people start a conversation, they have a very VAGUE idea of what they want.

Salespeople want a sale. Pickup artists want to get laid.

But other than that, most people have a half baked idea, they spit out a randomly chosen jumble of words, and hope for the best.

If it doesn’t work, they usually repeat themselves. Maybe swap out a word or two. And hope it works.

The truth about language is that BECAUSE it is hard wired into our brains, that we do it without thinking, we assume we can’t improve on it.

We can’t make it better. We can’t practice like we’d practice the piano or martial arts.

But we can.

You can.

And when you do, when you start to do the daily drills (just like you would for the piano or martial arts) there are few people you will meet throughout your lifetime that will be able to match your skills.

Isn’t that worth a few minutes a day of language practice?

Get Started:
Covert Hypnosis

Leverage Your Angels and Demons

Two Step Angelic Language

I started watching this new TV show on Netflix last night.

It’s about a detective whose partner was recently killed.

But throughout the show, he’s talking to her like she’s still there.

He also has a few other demons that haunt him. Criminals he’s prosecuted.

They pop up and he has conversations with them as if they are real people.

Napoleon Hill did the same thing, only on purpose, and with a clear intention.

He created his own imaginary Mastermind Group.

Famous people from history that he’d conjure up in his living room once a week.

They would have brainstorming sessions.

Seriously.

Most of the time, on TV when you see somebody talking to an imaginary person, it means they are unbalanced. Crazy. Nuts.

But we ourselves do it all the time.

We give ourselves encouragement. We hold ourselves back. We’ve got all these voices that we’ve remembered from those adults that surrounded us as we grew up.

This is the source of the mythological devil on one shoulder, angel on the other.

It not only affects how we talk to ourselves, but how we speak to others.

If we think something is scary, and somebody else is talking about it like it’s no big deal, we rarely say something like,

“Hey that’s pretty cool, can you teach me how to do that?”

We sometimes say things that undercut them, throw doubt on them, if only to make US feel better.

Of course, none of this is intended to harm the other person. It’s only intended to protect our ego.

But what if there was a way we could use OUR angels to speak to THEIR angels.

Or talk to them to get THEIR angels to speak to OUR angels?

It’s kind of like the difference between talking to ghosts of murders, like in that TV show, and imaginary ghosts of famous people who are there to help.

If you choose BEFOREHAND what to talk about, instead of just blurting out a bunch of randomly chosen words designed primarily to protect your ego, you’ll get a lot better results.

Choosing the right intention is the first step. But even this is something most people don’t do. When you choose an intention, or an outcome that will benefit BOTH people, you’re already ahead of the game.

When you wrap that positive intention with powerful language patterns, you’ll become unbeatable.

Sure, you won’t be able to wander around blurting out the first thought that pops into your head.

You’ll actually have to think a little bit about what you say.

But the stuff you DO say will be WAY more effective.

Learn More:

Covert Hypnosis

Animal Magnetism

Generate Attractive Magnetism

One way to become an incredibly compelling speaker is to create something called “response potential.”

Most people, when they stories, or jokes, are in a hurry to finish.

Then when they finish, they look around, usually hoping for approval.

Sure, if they’ve got a good story, or something interesting happened, this can work.

But it’s HIGHLY content dependent.

Like if you were walking to the dry cleaners and you saw a bank robbery, you wouldn’t have to do much to be the center of attention.

“Hey, I saw a bank robbery this morning!” Would be all you needed to say. And everybody would be DYING to hear more.

Most people are always on the lookout for CONTENT. They even think that because they don’t have good CONTENT, then they can’t be a good conversationalist.

“I never have anything to talk about.”

But the GOOD NEWS is while people like content on a conscious level, we are DRAWN to structure on a subconscious level.

Meaning if you tell a story with good structure, you don’t need decent content.

What kind of structure?

Pause in the middle of sentences, where they don’t usually belong. Where people will SUBCONSCIOUSLY want to hear you “finish the thought.”

Break your stories up, get just up to the climax of one story, and start telling another one.

This is why world famous comedians can tell stories about waiting in line at the supermarket and get paid millions of dollars.

It’s not the CONTENT of their stories, it’s the STRUCTURE.

So long as your stories and anecdotes have an emotionally compelling theme, you’ll be fine.

But the BIGGEST ingredient of telling a compelling story, and holding roomfuls of people in the palm of your hand is having a strong frame.

If you have even a basic story, like when you couldn’t find your shoes this morning, but tell it in a good structure AND with a strong frame, people will think you are incredibly charismatic.

What is a strong frame? It’s the meaning you put on the interaction. Of you telling that story.

If your frame is “I hope they don’t interrupt me and I hope somebody laughs,” then you won’t do so well.

But if your frame is “This is the funniest thing in the world, and I’m going to enjoy talking about it,” then YOUR frame will override everybody else’s frame.

This takes practice. It’s not some easy mental switch you can flip and call it good.

It is a skill. And like any other skill, the more you practice, the better you’ll get.

But most people don’t even know this skill exists, let alone how to practice it.

But you do.

Get Started:

Frame Control

Frame Control Secrets

Powerful Mental Skills

When I was younger, I used to do a lot of backpacking.

It kind of forced you to be very careful when choosing what to bring.

Some things were AWESOME to have with you, but they were heavy.

So you had to spend a lot of time choosing.

Since you’re carrying all your stuff on your back for a week or so, you want to make sure it’s not weighing you down.

Once I had to take my then girlfriend to the airport. I showed up at her house and she had three HUGE bags.

Clearly, everything has its advantages and disadvantages.

This goes with pretty much everything.

Even the basics of human biology has costs. Sure, it’s great to get energy from food. But finding it can suck, especially if you’re a caveman. And you’re being chased by a tiger and you have to stop use the caveman toilet, it’s not so convenient.

In economics they have something called an “opportunity cost.” Which means whenever you decide to do something, you’re subconsciously choosing to NOT do a bunch of other things.

You can go out and hang with your friends, but you might miss out on some amazing TV shows!

You could agree to an exclusive relationship with that girl or guy you’ve been seeing, but that means that EVERYBODY else on earth is off limits.

You could buy that cheeseburger for $2, but that means you’re also deciding that everything else on earth that’s also $2 is not what you want.

Of course, when you’re eating that delicious cheeseburger, you’re not focusing on what you DON’T have, you’re focusing on what you DO have.

If our brains weren’t pretty good at this, we’d NEVER be able to decide anything.

Then again, a lot of times we over think things. Instead of focusing on a positive outcome, or even a likely outcome, we allow our caveman brains to come up with the WORST outcome, and then use THAT, however UNLIKELY it is, to define our actions.

That’s the problem with having such quick thinking brains. Sure, they help us decide lickity-split, but we can also send ourselves on horrible mental loops.

Being able to manage your own brain, and manage the thoughts you think and HOLD is a POWERFUL skill to have.

For example, what if you were to imagine the BEST POSSIBLE outcome when you were considering doing ANYTHING, and you had the skill to ONLY think about THAT? Would that make taking action a lot easier?

Of course it would!

This is the power of holding a frame. Of not being knocked off balance by reality, other people, or even your inner caveman (or cavewoman).

It IS a skill, which means you MUST practice.

But when you do, you’ll be pretty pleased with yourself.

Get Started:

Frame Control

Frame Wars

How To Watch Frame Games

Listening in to other people’s conversations can tell you a lot about human nature.

Now, I don’t mean sneaking over to your neighbor’s house and putting you ear to their door.

I mean when you’re hanging out with your friends.

It can be a lot of fun to take the “observer” position from time to time.

Keep in mind this is different than using that as an excuse for not getting involved.

But next time you’re hanging out with three or four people, keep quiet for a few minutes and just notice the exchange.

Notice how people “put their ideas out there,” notice people’s eye movements and facial expressions when they speak, and more importantly, when they finish speaking.

Some people quickly look around, hoping their idea is accepted, or hoping it’s not rejected.

Some people look away, like they can’t bear to see.

Some people stare at others, as if they are aggressively daring others to contradict them.

Now, this all happens subconsciously, and few people will EVER be aware that this is going on.

But it is.

Always.

Evolutionary scientists tell us that all human interaction is a kind of “frame war,” which is a remnant of our evolutionary past.

When we were hunter-gatherers, our social status was absolutely crucial.

Those that had MORE social status got more sex, and food. And then passed on those “get more social status genes” to more kids.

Amongst animals, there’s an idea of a “pecking order.” It literally comes from chickens, who are in a group with a certain hierarchy. The “dominant’ ones get to eat, or peck first when food shows up. Then on down the line.

Whenever a new member is introduced into the group, there’s a kind of “domination showdown” to establish the NEW pecking order.

Our human instincts are based on operating within a group of about 300 people.

Which means all the people you interact with are, on a caveman level, people who you are UNSURE about, with regards to THEIR level in the pecking order.

Which is why you see all these “frame wars” in conversations, even amongst friends.

Because part of our subconscious is ALWAYS trying to move up the social chain.

Now, if you point this out to people, they will deny it. Because admitting consciously that you want more social status sounds pretty shallow. And admitting this out loud will actually LOWER your social status.

Which is why EVERYBODY is hard wired to keep it on the down low.

Which is why watching people talk is so much fun. Like watching a boxing match.

Of course, there are plenty of ways to INCREASE your ability to carefully and COVERTLY move up the social chain, without anybody knowing.

They’ll just know there’s something different about YOU.

Something that makes them want to agree with you. Support you. Follow you.

Think that would be useful?

Learn How:

Frame Control

Can You Make This?

The Recipe For Success

If you wanted to make a cake, you’d need certain ingredients.

Sure, it depends on the cake.

Once I made a chocolate cheesecake. Pretty simple. Cream cheese, sugar, and some chocolate sauce. Mix it up and Bob’s your Uncle.

Other cakes require a lot of preparation, and often times a lot of practice. Since there aren’t that many steps in making a chocolate cheesecake, and the steps are so simple even a goof like me can do it, you don’t need to practice.

Just read the recipe, and you’re good.

But if you were going to make some super complicated upside down strawberry souffle (whatever THAT is, lol) you’d need a LOT of skills.

Basically the more variables are involved, the more skills you need, and the more practice you need.

Think about something as simple as balancing a plate or spinning a basketball on your finger.

Not a lot of variables, so you could learn how in a few minutes.

Now think of something much more complicated like juggling chainsaws.

MANY variables, so you’d need a LOT more practice.

And not just practice doing the WHOLE thing, (juggling the chainsaws) but every individual component would need work.

Juggling itself. Handling a chainsaw. Spinning ONE chainsaw around, etc.

Life is THE MOST complicated thing you’ll ever do.

Sure, you can sit around and hope for good things to happen.

Many people do that. And many people don’t get much.

Or you can TAKE CONTROL of your own life. Decide what you want, and make THAT your life’s purpose.

Naturally, you’ll need a lot of skills.

You will NEVER get to the point where you have ENOUGH skills.

You will ALWAYS need to keep learning.

Most people don’t like hearing this. They’d rather be TOLD what to do, only have to do it ONCE, and then somehow sit back while the money keeps rolling in.

People that continue to create greatness know that’s just a fairy tale.

What skills do you need?

One is being able to bounce back from setbacks.

Because they will ALWAYS happen. If you aren’t getting setbacks, you are doing something wrong.

Because embedded in EVERY SINGLE SETBACK is a valuable lesson.

What lesson?

That’s up for you to decide, based on where you’re going, and based on what the setback is.

NOBODY is going to tell you.

Again, most people don’t hearing this.

They want to be led by the hand to riches, prosperity, six pack abs, and great sex with beautiful people.

One thing that will make bouncing back from setbacks MUCH easier is how you DEFINE them.

If each setback “means” that you suck, it will be hard to keep going.

But if you REFRAME setbacks to mean “I just learned something valuable,” then you’ll keep charging ahead.

Whether the setbacks come conversationally, or in complicated life situations.

The setbacks don’t control you, you control the setbacks.

To learn how, check this out:

Frame Control

Always Be Testing

Do You Need Approval?

When I was a kid I love doing experiments.

I always wanted to see what would happen if I did something.

Especially things I didn’t know about.

I’d mix this and that, or hook up this to something else.

Once I even stuck my finger in a light socket just to see what would happen.

When I was in High School, I got kicked out of chemistry lab because I mixed two chemicals just to “see” what would happen.

Most of the time scientific studies aren’t really scientific studies.

Because scientific studies cost a lot of money. Which means somebody has to pay for them.

And the studies have a funny way of turning out in favor of those who are paying for the studies.

But sometimes, you find somebody who does research just to “see” what will happen.

There was this guy in the seventies who did something like that. He would send his team out into the world, and have them behave in different ways, just to see how people would respond.

Like people with business suits were much more likely to get a pass in a restaurant when they’d forgotten their wallets, than people who were dressed casually.

People who wore beige raincoats seemed to be more “upper class” than people who wore black raincoats.

People that walked upright and with confident body language were perceived much more attractive than when they had their shoulders slumped and looked at the ground when they walked.

One thing that turned out to be a very strong undercurrent to everything was somebody’s “congruence.”

The more “congruent” people were, the more attractive and likeable they were.

The less “congruent” they were, the harder they were to get along with. The less people liked talking to them. The less influential they were.

What exactly is “congruence”?

Everything is consistent. Your words match your body language. Your body language matches your facial expressions. You don’t say “yes” while breaking eye contact and crossing your arms.

More importantly, you stick to your intentions. Meaning you don’t keep changing your mind every twenty seconds. You don’t keep asking everybody their opinions to make sure it’s “safe.”

You don’t get halfway through a project and give up because the steady stream of positive feedback from your friends and family suddenly dried up.

You set an intention in your mind, and keep to that intention.

If you think of two different people on opposite sides of this extreme, you’ll get an idea.

People that are ultra wishy washy and are always asking for feedback and approval aren’t very attractive or persuasive.

On the other hand, people that have a very clear idea of what they want, and where they are going, are much more magnetic and charismatic.

How do you become one and not the other?

Here’s How:

Frame Control

The Biggest Skill of All

Here’s a quick and easy exercise that will help you maintain a strong frame.

Holding a frame is a skill like any other skill.

However, the way people talk about it, it can sound like there some “technique,” like how do I make a cherry cheesecake.

Once you’ve got the recipe down for a cherry cheesecake, it’s pretty easy.

But something like holding a frame, a skill, takes a lot of practice.

Like hitting a curveball or being able to juggle.

These aren’t impossible things, but you wouldn’t be able to learn them by reading a “how to” guide.

So, how do you practice holding a frame?

Simple. Choose a frame, and hold it!

Just like juggling, or hitting a curveball, the more you do it, the easier it gets.

But unless you are VERY specific and consistent, your “frame” that you are “holding” will be all over the place, which means you won’t exactly be practicing “holding” a frame. You’ll be practicing watching your frame be yanked all over the place!

What is a frame? It’s the meaning of an interaction, or a situation.

So, you can practice by going through similar situations, and HOLDING the same intention.

Like every time you walk into a store, you can set the “meaning” of that situation as you buying what you want.

Sounds simple. Sounds obvious.

But if you’ve EVER walked into a store to buy something, and had your thoughts PULLED AWAY by something you DIDN’T plan, then you lost the frame.

Maybe you saw something you wanted instead.

Maybe you saw a cute guy or girl, and tried to think of something to say.

These are all EXAMPLES of the situation REFRAMING you.

So, how can you PRACTICE holding the frame?

Before you go into the store, choose what your intention is. Buying a sandwich. Buying a case of beer. Whatever.

When you are IN the store, for the entire time, DO NOT THINK OF ANYTHING ELSE.

Do not look at other stuff. Do not wander around. Do not smile at cute girls.

ONLY keep your mind focused on what you are there for. Get in, buy the thing, and get out.

Let NO OTHER THOUGHTS come into your mind.

This may seem simple. This may seem goofy. This may seem like something that you “already know.”

But when you can hold ANY FRAME YOU CHOOSE, regardless of what other people say or do, or whatever “happens,” you will be able to rule the world.

Who rules the world?

The dude with the strongest frame. Not the smartest guy. Not the richest guy. The guy who can HOLD HIS INTENTION regardless of what happens.

OK, maybe you don’t want to rule the world.

Maybe you just want to make a ton of cash, and build some AWESOME relationships.

The stronger your ability to SET and HOLD any frame, the easier that will be.

Get Started:
Frame Control