Externalizing is a very common human strategy.
It happens subconsciously, and presents itself in many forms.
One way to “discover” this is by doing the “shadow energy” exercise.
The theory is whenever we come across somebody who “rubs us the wrong way,” it’s because they remind us of US, on some level.
So to prevent us from finding out that “bad stuff” about ourselves, we (or rather our ego) throws up a protective barrier.
That barrier comes across to our conscious minds as a form of “distaste” for that person.
We usually come up with some logical sounding reasons, usually ones that make US look good, and THEM look bad.
This is extremely common.
We ALL do this, ALL the time.
Not just “those other people.”
What’s rare is being able to use this as a personal growth tool.
This is where the “shadow energy” exercise comes in.
We acknowledge that we feel “distaste” for them because they remind us of us.
Then we find a place to sit and contemplate that part of ourselves we don’t want to acknowledge.
You don’t really need to address it, or confront it, or even understand it.
All you really need to do is acknowledge that it exists, and accept it.
Everybody has TONS of imperfections, this is just another one of them.
By doing this, you will discover something pretty cool.
It’s not being perfect or not perfect that makes us who we are.
It’s our opinion of ourselves.
No matter WHO you are, if you ACCEPT yourself completely, so will everybody else.
Another cool thing you discover is that the LESS people out there are that “rub you the wrong way,” the MORE you’ll be able to get.
In fact, it cuts (in a good way) both ways.
The MORE you accept yourself, the MORE others will accept you.
And the more you do so via the shadow energy exercise, the MORE resources (other people) you’ll find out in the world.
Once you understand that you can get ANYTHING from other people, so long as you help them FEEL GOOD first, there is really nothing you can’t get.
All you need to do is talk to people in the right way.
Ask them the right questions in the right order, and they’ll be MORE than happy to help you get whatever you want.