​I remember when I got my first job right out of college.

Pretty broke, didn’t have much furniture. First apartment was pretty bare.

I needed a lamp, so I went to a local lamp shop (that I walked to).

The guy working there was really helpful. Asked a bunch of questions not only about what kind of lamp I wanted, but a little bit about me as well.

He didn’t try and sell me the biggest and most expensive lamp. Rather, he helped me find one that was inexpensive, and would do the job. He was also understood that I’d just started working, and didn’t have much cash.

He said something like, “Every other paycheck or so, you can come back and slowly build up your lamp collection.”

And guess what?

For the next couple years, every time I needed a lamp, that’s where I went.

On the other hand, I’ve bought (or tried to buy) things and the salesperson had the opposite effect. I said I wanted to spend 20 bucks, and they’s show me something for 30 bucks. 

Once I was taking a piano class, and I wanted to buy a cheap keyboard. Since I was just beginning, I wanted the cheapest one I could find.

So I went to my local Guitar Center, and the guy noticed me looking at keyboards. He didn’t ask me many questions, only noticed I was looking at the more cheaper models.

“You don’t want those, man! That’s kid stuff! You need this one over here!” And he showed me this $500 model that had too many buttons in to count.

Needless to say, not only did I NOT buy a keyboard from this guy, but I don’t think I EVER shopped at that particular Guitar Center again.

Even if you’re not selling anything, or not overtly persuading anybody, I’m sure you can see the difference in communication styles.

Talking to somebody based on THEIR needs, vs. talking to somebody based on YOUR needs.

The funny thing is, if you take some time to get to know them, find out not only what you want, but what their limitations are (real or imagined) you’ll be MUCH MORE LIKELY to get YOUR needs met.

That lamp guy went out of his way to help me find the cheapest lamp. But over the next two years or so, I probably bought 5 or 6 lamps from him.

When you first find out about others, you can create a much, much stronger relationship. And they’ll remember you for a lot longer. Even know, I can picture that lamp guy in my mind.

This type of communication will help you create much, much more.

Learn How:

Interpersonal Resonance