Turn Off Your Shield
Like you’re in a conversation with your friends, and somebody says something, and you don’t know how to respond.
Then later on, maybe at home or in the car, you think of witty comeback.
Or maybe you’ve had this experience. You’ve got to give a speech. You practice at home, in front of the mirror, over and over. Then you give the speech, only you don’t remember much of it.
OK, how about this one. You’ve got a great idea in your head. You rehearse what you’re going to say. Maybe to your boss, your partner, or your kids.
But when you say it, it doesn’t sound nearly as good. Maybe even people look at you like you’re crazy.
That can really hurt. Especially if you were fully expecting them to embrace your idea.
Why do we sometimes have so much trouble communicating? It’s not rocket science. We’re not trying to reverse engineer Euclidian Geometry.
The reason is all have a kind of imaginary “bubble” around us. One that pops up unexpectedly.
When we’re with our close friends, it’s rarely present. We can say whatever we want. We know from our experience that they’re our close friends, so we’re not worried about rejection.
But when it’s somebody we don’t really know, AND it’s somebody important, we suddenly are very careful how we speak.
Now, this rarely happens consciously. We don’t carefully choose our words like some high level negotiator or diplomat.
But we do severely limit ourselves. Our chests constrict. Our vocal chords get a bit tighter. We speak from a slightly higher point in our diaphragms.
It’s that ancient “fight or flight” response coming to save us. Only it doesn’t know we’re not going into battle or trying to scare a tiger away from our cave.
We’re just talking to some person, who’s just like us, and we may get something good, we may not.
Think of what you could accomplish, what you could get, if you could talk to ANYBODY as naturally and easily as your close friends.
Not necessarily say the same things, but if you were as relaxed and confident. If you were not worried in the least of rejection.
Talking to your boss, giving speeches, talking to attractive people.
Just imagine if you were as comfortable talking your boss into giving you a raise as you were convincing your friend to meet you at the corner pub!
The good news is that you can. Because all those fears and anxieties that may be subconsciously holding you back can be ejected.
With the right mental exercises, and some daily journaling, you can get rid of the for good.