Many guys have problems setting boundaries with girls. Partly because most guys aren’t getting nearly as much affection as they want, when they start getting it, they’ll put up with a lot of junk to keep it.

The trouble with this is when she’s violating you’re boundaries, and you don’t say anything, she correctly assumes that it’s OK.

One of the big myths about boundaries is that people somehow “know” what they are without you saying so. Like there’s some kind of social contract that everybody has read and agreed to that regulates what’s OK and what’s not OK.

But the harsh truth is that people will do whatever they think is appropriate, based on what they want, and what they imagine the repercussions will be.

And when it comes to male-female interactions, what people think are appropriate are largely based on how they were raised, parenting issues, early childhood experiences, and tons of other stuff that you simply will never know about.

Which means if you’re making assumptions about how she “should” act, you’re setting yourself up for a letdown.

So, what do you do?

First, you need to know what your boundaries are. You can’t define them if you don’t know them.

Now, this can be hard to do if you don’t have much experience. A good system is to simply listen to your gut. If she does something and it doesn’t feel “right” say something.

Of course, it can get confusing when you don’t know whether it’s a “test” or a “boundary violation.”

Usually a test is based on what she says, and a boundary violation is based on what she does.

And once she does something that makes you feel uncomfortable, it’s YOUR responsibility to mention it.

How do you mention it?

Don’t tell her what she should or shouldn’t do. That will only make things worse. Nobody likes to be told what they should or shouldn’t do, in any circumstance.

Instead, just say something like, “I don’t like it when you do that.” And let her respond.

This is pretty powerful. 

Why?

Because if she acts like she doesn’t care how her actions affect you, she’s not worth your time. She’s effectively disqualified herself.

On the other hand, if she genuinely makes a honest effort to not do that again, if only because it bothers you, that means she’s REALLY into you. 

Sadly, this won’t happen very often. Girls will ALWAYS push the boundaries to see what they can get away with.

Which is why you should ALWAYS be willing to simply walk away from her if she repeatedly violates your stated boundaries.

Because the ones that DO make an effort to respect your boundaries are the girls you’re looking for.

THESE are the girls that will create heaven on Earth for you.

Find Yours:

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