Monthly Archives: December 2014

Blast Away Approach Anxiety

How To Talk To Any Girl Without Fear Or Anxiety

How To Make Talking To Girls Easy

Here’s a quick set of mind tricks that will help you when you’re out talking to the ladies.

Whenever humans encounter a new situation that’s potentially beneficial, our brains quickly go through a couple of “scanning” processes.

The first thing is to imagine the “best case” scenario, and the next is to imagine the “worst case” scenario.

Then it calculates the likelihood of each happening, followed by the “strength” of each potential outcome.

I know this sounds like a LOT, but our brains are incredibly FAST.

Problem is they pay for that speed by not being very accurate.

So when your brain scans the past, it’s only going to grab a few of the “strongest” memories.

And since most guys have a LOT of memories of getting rejected by ladies, (real or imagined) your brain’s going to come back with a big fat DANGER signal.

THIS is where all that anxiety comes from.

How do you get rid of this anxiety?

Easy. Simply rewire your brain. 


Two ways.

One is to take conscious control of your thoughts while out in the field. While you’re looking a girl you’d like to approach (based on IOI’s, flirting eye contact, etc.), literally FORCE your brain to think of positive memories with girls.

Think of the last time you had sex, or kissed a girl, or a girl looked at you in that special way.

And HOLD THAT thought while you’re walking over there and talking to her. This DOES take mental effort, but so long as you FORCE your brain to hold that thought, it will keep any fear from creeping in there. It’s not a “once and done” thought. It’s a “grab and hold” thought.

This may sound simple, but it is very, very difficult. If you’ve ever meditated, you know how difficult it is to force your brain to think of something simple, like a candle, or simple numbers from one to ten.

But your concentration is just like a muscle. The more you practice, the stronger it will get.

The SECOND way is to actually go out and CREATE positive responses from women.

This means walking up (or close to her) getting her to smile, and then leaving.

You need to build up a huge memory bank of experiences in your mind with YOU leaving a girl who WANTED YOU TO STAY.

Now, this may seem easy, but it’s VERY difficult. As soon as you get a nice smile, your caveman brain will be SCREAMING at you to go and talk to her. To hang out and hope for some good stuff.

In order for this to work, you’ve got to NOT do that.

If you do practice these two mental tricks regularly, you’ll be amazed how fast that approach anxiety vanishes.

Even more if you put this in the mix:

Frame Control

Do You Reference The Right Memories?

How To Control Your Brain

How To Gain Control Of Your Brain

I remember going to my first junior high school dance.

All the guys were on one side, and all the girls were on another.

Both groups went there to meet each other, but both were too scared to make the first move.

Then later on, in high school, I learned that most girls would say “yes” when asked to dance.

After all, it WAS a dance, right?

Of course, sometimes it’s not so easy. People go to clubs, bookstores, coffee shops etc, and don’t exactly want to be approached by strangers, for any reason.

Many people join Network Marketing with hopes of making a lot of cash, but end up not making squat when they realize the name of the game is approaching enough strangers to make a decent living.

To be sure, walking up cold to somebody, for any reason, is not something most of us do naturally.

But not because of what happens, but what we IMAGINE is going to happen.

There was an old movie with Steve Martin called “The Lonely Guy,” and he would imagine going into a restaurant, or other social place, and everybody would stop what they were doing, and all stare at him.

That’s what most of us imagine when we push ourselves out of our social comfort zone.

But most, if not all, of our social fears are false. 

We’re scared of what we think might happen, rather than what really does happen.

One of the reasons is that we’re referencing the wrong memories.

If you don’t take the time to reprogram how you think when going into social situations, your brain will always be in “protection” mode, meaning any uncertainly will be met with anxiety.

That’s just your brain thinking that it’s keeping you safe.

But when you flip the switch, so to speak, so you automatically reference positive memories when you enter into social uncertainty, you’ll feel a lot differently.

Not only that, but you’ll project a much different type of energy.

After all, people that are ultra confident and dynamic in public are only that way because they’ve learned to reference the right memories, either on purpose or by accident. (Usually by accident.)

But when you do a little bit of programming, (5-10 minutes a day) you’ll soon reference those positive memories that are ALREADY THERE.

To learn how, check this out:

Frame Control

Basic Elements Of Female Desire

How To Get Her To Fall In Love With You

Automatically Push Her Buttons

How do you create attraction in a woman? Easy.

This is going to sound HORRIBLY un-PC, but Mother Nature isn’t the kindest lass in the land.

Guys like girls for physical reasons. Girls like guys for behavior reasons.

This is from evolution of course, when a girl was chosen for her ability to have healthy kids that would have a good chance to grow up. This meant she was young and disease free, had decent sized boobs, and was symmetric in as many ways as possible.

Like I said, Mother Nature doesn’t care much about our feelings.

Girls on the other hand, didn’t develop a craving for looks. She needs somebody who can take care of her, and bring home the bacon repeatedly for at least 5-10 years.

She can’t tell this by looking at the guy. Sure he might be chiseled with six pack, but if he was a social goof who didn’t play well with others,  he’d never get much meat. He wouldn’t be able to feed her kids.

Back then, hunting was like playing football. (American OR Euro style). It was a team effort. If you couldn’t play well with others, you were SOL.

So she would always check and see how he behaved with others, to decide subconsciously if he was a “quality male” or not. Like it or not, his perceived social status was everything.

Today, that still holds true. If you show up with your six pack, tight shirt, and all kinds of bling, you may be “eye candy” but unless you can hold your own in a conversation, she won’t give you a second thought.

The crucial skills to develop if you want to win a ladies heart is social skills, self confidence, social intelligence, and the ability to maintain a slightly dominant, but friendly frame with whomever you are speaking with.

Luckily, you can practice this ANYWHERE. Supermarkets, post office lines, school, even with dudes down at your local pub.

Sure, you’ve got to talk to ladies occasionally, but not all the time.

And when you develop enough social skills, self confidence, and frame control, you won’t need much else.

Learn How:

Frame Control

Have You Discovered Your True Purpose?

Overcome Fear With Easy Mind Control

How To Embrace and Overcome Fear

Your history is one of incredibly accomplishment.

Despite how we humans try and take away risk and uncertainty, there’s still plenty to go around.

I read this very interesting history book a while back that said the story of man is a story of a timid, fearful, and lazy people trying to invent new things to make life easier, safer and less scary.

Regardless of who you are and where you come from, you’ve demonstrated countless times that you are fully capable of facing risk in the face, taking action, and getting what you want.

The fact that you are reading this now is proof of this.

So why do we still feel timid, afraid and on the fence whenever an opportunity presents itself?

One of the reasons is our brains are hard wired to be more aware of potential danger than potential opportunities.

This is a biological, chemical and physical aspect of our brains. The neural pathways that carry fear based impulses are physically thicker than the pathways that carry potential pleasure.

We all like to eat, right? Imagine you’re sitting there in your favorite restaurant, about to dig into your favorite food. Just as you’re about to bite into it, a huge tiger appears to your right.

What happens to your hunger? It vanishes quicker than a sliver of ice in a volcano!

On a very basic, primitive level, moving toward pleasure is great, so long as our lives aren’t in danger.

But as I’m sure you know, living in the modern world is rarely a life or death decision. Far far from it.

But our primitive brains sometimes can’t tell the difference.

Sure, you might logically conclude that there’s no danger walking over and talking to that interesting looking stranger, but  your subconscious might have something to say about it.

But as I mentioned above, you’ve got a HUGE collection of experiences where you looked fear in the eye, laughed at it, and took action anyhow.

Once you learn how to access THOSE memories, automatically, instead of those other ones, it will be easy.

Instead of seeming like some scary event after scary event, life will become an adventure. Trying and “failing” won’t feel bad, it will feel good. Because every step, no matter what happens, is a step closer to what you want.

No matter what it is.

That’s what the Frame Control program is all about. To shift your automatic thinking from recalling times when you felt like a “victim” to those times when you were a champion.

When that happens, you’ll walk the Earth with a purpose.

And many people will follow.

Get started:

Frame Control

How To Skyrocket Your Attraction

Get Everybody On Your Johnson

How To Make All The Girls Want You

Most guys have several fears about approaching a girl and getting rejected.

To be sure, it’s that moment where she says “no” that’s pretty painful.

It’s also pretty painful, as most guys imagine everybody else is watching them.

One more reason it sucks is because most guys have been told or taught that if you try and number close every girl in the joint, you’ll be seen as some player who’s only after short term flings.

Now if you ARE only after short term flings, then that’s not a big deal.

But here’s something to consider. People ARE watching you, especially girls. And in that first moment you walk up to a girl, all the other girls who’ve got you on their radar (which is usually a lot more than you think) are thinking the same thing:

“Why’s he talking to HER?”

As I’m sure you know, girls are terribly competitive. Even if they have ZERO intentions of giving our their number, they STILL don’t like it when you approach somebody else and not them.

This is pretty fun to see when you’re actually looking for it. To see it in action, try this out:

Go somewhere where you can sit and watch people walking by. Then wait until there’re a couple of girls walking toward you, that are a good distance apart. Like maybe opposite sides of the street or something.

Then OBVIOUSLY check out one of them, long enough for the other one to notice (which won’t take long).

Then as soon as you STOP checking out girl A, quickly look at girl B on the sly. She’ll almost ALWAYS be staring at girl A, wondering why you were checking her out.

Bottom line, even if you aren’t a player, are good looking, or have any bling to speak of, girls will STILL get jealous when you talk to other girls instead of them.

But this will be significantly REDUCED if you’re going up and getting shot down all the time.

So here’s a really good way to increase your charisma, magnetism and attraction. Go and talk to a few girls, but DON’T try to close them. Your ONLY goal is to get them to smile.

As soon as you get a genuine smile or laugh, EJECT. Be nice, say nice talking to you, whatever, but LEAVE while they still have that smile on their face.

If you do this with three or four girls, separated out by twenty minutes or so, the other girls in the place will be going CRAZY.

So long as you’re not in some super loud nightclub packed wall to wall like sardines, this will work pretty good.

Then after you’ve had your fun, go and close somebody for real. 

To give you even more power, check this out:

Frame Control

Secrets Of Massive Social Power

Are You Really The Captain Of Your Ship?

Leverage Your Instincts – Don’t Fight Them

I read this amazing book several years ago.

It was called “Chimpanzee Politics,” and it was about this group of chimps in this huge compound somewhere in Europe. These scientists studied them for a couple years, recording their every move and social interaction.

They behaved very, very much like humans, hence the title.

The leader, or the alpha male, got most of the sex, and most of the food.

And when you consider that chimps and humans split off from a common ancestor over two million years ago, meaning that we’ve had that same programming in us for AT LEAST that long, it’s pretty mind boggling.

How long have our conscious minds been around? Scientists figure that language is a key. And they figure that language, besides grunts and hand signals, popped up maybe 30,000 years ago.

Which means our deeper instincts, that get us to organize into these “tribal hierarchies” have been the driving force of our existence for the majority of the time.

Even today, underneath the very recent, and very thin layer of our conscious brains (the neo-cortex) is that incredibly powerful subconscious, our collection of vast instincts.

Who do you think wins when the subconscious battles the conscious?

Try making the conscious decision to hold your breath for five minutes and see what happens!

Or try going on a diet of nothing but boiled chicken breasts for a month and see what happens!

Whether we like it or not, our subconscious minds are VERY powerful, and usually in control.

I know it sounds cool to use metaphors like “our conscious minds are the captain of the ship, and our subconscious is the engine room,” but it really isn’t like that.

Otherwise dieting would be easy. Talking to strangers would be easy. Standing up in front of people and giving speeches would be easy.

Any time we try and do something and feel a flood of conflicting emotions, it’s because our feeble conscious minds are saying, “But I want to do this!” while our subconscious minds are saying, “Um…no.”

Sometimes we recognize this, sometimes we don’t.

Most of the time we don’t go along with our subconscious instincts. We fight them, wish they didn’t exist, or think we are somehow “self-sabotaging” ourselves.

The secret is to not overpower your subconscious, or even control your subconscious. That would be like trying to swim against the tide.

Our caveman brains have taken us far. Why not act in congruence with them? Why not choose goals that are congruent with our deep instincts? Why not get the tide on our side?

One way to do that is to leverage the powers of social authority.

This is one of those thing that’s incredibly powerful, that we don’t usually notice.

When you can claim your rightful place at the top of the social food chain, everything will fall into place.

Just like our distant cousins, the chimps, whoever’s at the top gets most of the stuff.

It’s GOT to be somebody.

Why not you?

Learn how:

Frame Control

How To Approach A Girl For The First Time

The Best Approach Angle For Success

Defocus With Congruence

It’s funny how things that are true on a huge, galactic scale are also true on a tiny, microcosmic scale.

Solar systems are made of suns with planets orbiting around them. Planets have moons orbiting around them. Atoms are made of a nucleus with electrons orbiting around it.

Interacting with girls is the same way, both on a large scale, and on a microcosmic scale.

For example, most guys know instinctively if you make girls the sole purpose of your life, you won’t get very far. 

Sure, there are some world famous pick up artists that are actually homeless, but because of their super tight game, they just move from relationship to relationship, always staying with the girls they are currently with. 

Even though they’re homeless, they never have to spend a single night on the street.

Now, for some, this would be a dream come true. But for most normal guys, this would kind of suck. It’s nice to have your own place, your own car, your own money, your own job and a boss who appreciated what you do and would fight tooth and nail to keep you on board.

In the big scheme of things, having a girl is a great PART of your life, to be sure. And all that comes with that later on (family, etc, if that’s what you want.)

But that shouldn’t be the central FOCUS of your life.

Similarly when you go out, making girls the most important focus isn’t likely the best strategy. Most guys, when they think back to the best nights of their lives, according to their interactions with females, were nights where they DIDN’T specifically go out looking for girls.

Take a look at this on an even smaller scale. Suppose you’re in some place with your boys, having fun. You see a cutie across the room, and you trade a few flirty eye locks.

If you dropped everything and walked over there while staring straight at her as if she were the ONLY person in the world, she’d likely flee in terror.

That’s why it’s always a good strategy to kind of “show up” next to her. Then simply “ease yourself” into a conversation with her.

Now, if you’re doing this as part of your “game,” and while you “pretend” to be nonchalant, you can’t get your mind off her, it might not work as well.

But if you’re attitude is to “make your way over there,” and “see what she’s like,” AND it’s congruent with your attitude toward girls both in life and that night, you’ll be much more successful.

You and she will be more relaxed when you talk. You’ll both be less likely to “put on your game face” and try any short term tricks.

Which means if you DO hit it off, it will be real, and not fake.

Now, holding that frame of mind can be tough.

This will help:

Frame Control

Your Inherently Programmed Recipe For Greatness

Build Your Life Any Way You Want

How To Build Any Life You Want

Being able to reverse engineer something is a great talent.

Companies, restaurants, writers, artists, even governments do this all the time.

In fact, copying others and improving on what they are doing is the cornerstone of human advancement.

Ever since the first caveman saw another caveman throw a rock, and thought to himself, “Hmm, great idea, but I think I could do it better…” humans were off to the races.

Of course, some things are easier to copy or “reverse engineer” than others. Some of them are more conscious and some are unconscious.

When you were a kid, before you could walk, learning was simply of watching the adults and trying until you could reproduce what they were doing. Talking was the same. And to an extent, so was writing.

However, if you were an engineer for an electronics company, and they wanted you to reverse engineer your competition’s smart phone, it would be completely conscious.

We can also reverse engineer behavior, but it can be tricky. Often times we copy the external behavior, when it’s the internal state we should be focused on.

For example, if you wanted to copy a world class pianist, it would be foolish to only focus on the clothes they wore, or their posture or even facial expressions as they sat down at the piano.

You’d need to get inside their brain and copy their beliefs, and more importantly, their experiences and memories of practice, which likely is a large factor in their confidence.

Because playing the piano is not a natural human trait, it requires years and years of practice.

But other things, that sometimes seem difficult, ARE natural human traits, and therefore DON’T require years and years of practice.

Anything involving human interaction, communication and persuasion is hard wired into our brains.

Often times all you need is a strong inner state, and you can learn the rest by trial and error, just like you did when you learned to walk.

Because of your strong confidence and self belief, you’ll naturally interact with others in a way that will help you get exactly what you not.

Not only that, but it will seem to others like it was THEIR idea to give it to you.

This is what happens when you demonstrate that strong inner frame. That frame where you tell yourself (just like when you were a kid), “I can do this,” no matter what.

How do you get this frame?

By doing a set of mental activities (much like mental exercise) and switching how you view yourself, and the world.

To learn how, click this:

Frame Control

The Exchange Model Of Seduction

Exchange Emotions Instead of Beg For Them

Get Your Mind Right!

There’s one problem that’s pretty common (among guys) when getting out and interacting with females. An overestimation of HER worth, and an underestimation of YOUR worth.

The thing to understand about ALL human interactions they are based on exchange.

Sure, when we’re kids and in a family, we just get what we need without really having to give anything back.

But once we grow up and put on our big boy pants, that crap needs to get tossed out the window.

Nobody’s going to give you anything just because you think you deserve it.

Especially girls, girls who have options (which is the kind of girls you SHOULD be going after, but that’s another argument completely.)

In order for any girl worth her salt to spend any time with you, she’s got to be getting something out of the deal.

She needs to benefit just much as you are benefiting.

Granted, this all happens on a subconscious level, but it’s still there.

If you don’t create those emotions and feelings in her that she wants from you, she’s not going to give you those emotions and feelings you want from her.

Luckily, this is pretty automatic. Both men and women are hard wired to reciprocate when we get out buttons pushed in the right way.

The only trouble comes when you assume she’s got more to offer you than you’ve got to offer her.

To make it worse,  if you walk to her with an emotional “trade deficit” AND an expectation that she SHOULD feel a certain way, it’s going to make it even harder.

Both of these problems go hand in hand. Which means once you get rid of one, you’ll usually get rid of the other.

How do you do this?

First, understand how attraction works. We usually need to feel attraction first, before we are willing to create attraction in others, even subconsciously.

No girl is going to be sweet and feminine and affectionate with you unless she ALREADY feels those feelings for you.

The next step is to stop overestimating her value, AND to stop underestimating your own value.

Don’t walk over there with a puffed up chest thinking your king Alpha of the Planet, but DO have an honest appreciation for your strong points.

Then just go over and talk to her.

See it as a discovery process. Show her what you’ve got, and see what she’s got.

If you’re both feeling it, good job. If not, it’s NOBODY’S fault. Nobody’s cheating anybody. Nobody is manipulating anybody. Nobody’s dissing anybody.

Think of it like setting up a booth at your local flea market. Do you get super pissed when people wander by without buying anything? Nope. You just hang until you see people that ARE interested in what you’ve got.

Luckily, for most guys, that only means finding ONE girl when it comes to romance.

So get out there and mingle until you find her.

This will help:

Frame Control

Do You Underestimate Your Instincts?

The Ancient Power Within

Ancient Powers Lie Within

Most of us overestimate the power of our conscious minds.

Not only that, but we underestimate the power of our instincts.

This isn’t easy for a lot people to hear, but it can be very useful to understand.

For example, if you’ve ever “cheated” on a diet, you know EXACTLY how powerful your instincts are.

After all they have been part of us for millions of years, and they deal with real world survival on a very real level.

When our instincts are telling us to eat, “they” really believe we are in danger if we don’t.

Which is why dieting by willpower alone is virtually impossible.

Fear of heights is another example. This is a natural born fear that exists deep in our programming. Try leaning over the edge of a high balcony and using your conscious mind to remove the fear.

These are a couple of instincts (fear and food) that we know and feel. Others are much more hidden beneath the surface.

Think about the last time you “cheated” on a diet, or promised yourself you weren’t going to eat or drink something, but you did anyway. Just before you ate it, you likely told yourself some “story” that sounded “logical” at the time.

But since you saw clear evidence of what you were doing, it’s easy to see this was just a rationalization.

But when we rationalize other instincts that we don’t acknowledge, we really tend to believe the rationalization as if it’s the real reason driving our behavior, and not the underlying instinct.

Which can get us into a lot of trouble. We end up saying, “Well, it sounded like a good idea at the time.”

What this really means is our instincts were driving our behavior, and our rationalizations for that behavior seemed logical enough.

Because we are deeply social creatures, two of the most powerful instincts that tend to operate outside of our conscious awareness are social proof and authority.

People that are in positions of authority can say the craziest things, and people will believe them as if they’re self-evident logic.

The strange thing about authority is that it’s not something that can be given to you. It has to be something that you simply assume to be true.

And since 99.99% of the people would be TERRIFIED of taking any kind of leadership role, assuming that position is pretty easy.

Naturally, this is like any other tool. You can use it for good, or you can use it for evil.

You can lead people to happiness, pleasure and wealth, or doom and despair. It’s completely up to you.

Where will you lead them?

Learn more:

Frame Control