Category Archives: Emotions

Bikini Girls Are Everywhere

Easily Unlearn Social Anxiety

Being able to accurately predict the future would be a pretty good skill.

You could know which stocks to buy, and when to bring an umbrella when you go out.

Governments spend billions and trillions of dollars to try and predict the movements of their “enemies.”

Imagine if you could know the winning lotto numbers ahead of time!

There have been plenty movies and books written about such things.

Another common desire is to know what people are thinking.

You could know which person to approach, and when to close the sale (or close the deal).

You’d be able to make a kajillion dollars as a negotiator.

Thing is though that people CAN be pretty easy to read.

After all, we all want the same things and we all fear the same things.

And if you’re in a certain environment, you can have a pretty good idea of what’s going on in people’s minds.

IF, (and this is a big IF) your mind isn’t clouded with anxiety.

Feeling anxiety in social situations is more common than most people realize.

Most people have the idea that they are the ONLY ONE that is feeling anxious.

Because they look around and see everybody as calm and relaxed.

But the truth is that feeling anxious around strangers is a natural and normal response.

Just like feeling hungry all of a sudden when you smell food.

But if you can REMOVE this anxiety, the first thing you’ll notice is how easy it is to read people.

Then you’ll SEE and FEEL that everybody has got some level of anxiety.

When most people go into social situations, they feel a certain amount of risk.

Which is why most people fear rejection on some level.

But when you develop the ability read people (which is pretty automatic once you remove the anxiety) there will be very little chance of rejection.

It will almost be like reading their minds.

You’ll know who talk to and what to say, and when to “close” however you’d like to.

Worrying about what to say won’t become an issue, since you’ll be in the moment, and you’ll be much more natural.

Open to the natural flow that happens when two people are “vibing.”

And you’ll understand why it’s not really a matter of “learning” things you need, rather than a matter of “unlearning” things you DON’T need.

And as you’ll soon find out, unlearning unhelpful things is pretty easy once you know how.

Click Here to learn how.

Are You Memorizing Lines?

Are You Memorizing Lines?

If you wanted to model somebody, there are two things you’d need to consider.

Their outer behavior, and their inner thinking.

Now, obviously a lot of things aren’t that dependent on inner behavior.

If you wanted to make some chicken nuggets, for example, you’d only need to copy the outer behavior.

You could find a decent YouTube video, watch what they do, and copy them.

So long as you do the right steps, you’ll get the right results.

On the other hand, there are other things that require a deep understanding of what’s going on the inside.

Many people who are interesting in improving their dating skills, for example, would love the idea of being able to memorize a bunch of lines and then just “spit them out” and get the same results.

But if you’ve ever watched a crappy movie, you know there’s a lot more than just memorizing lines.

Even take two actors, everything else the same, and you’ll get two DRAMATICALLY different results.

For example, imagine some guy famous for making comedies. The guy who played “Doc” in Back to the Future, for example, but trying to pull of a serious James Bond.

Sure, it might work, but it would be DRAMATICALLY DIFFERENT.

This is the fallacy of thinking you can just “memorize” what to say, and have the same effect.

Of course, when we’re talking about acting, it’s a ONE WAY communication.

Which means that actor expects us to sit there and be passive.

This is also another fallacy in thinking you can memorize lines and have them work on a potential client or romantic partner.

This is actually GOOD NEWS.


Because most books, courses and techniques involve some kind of “inner game” and “outer game.”

Inner beliefs, and outer behaviors.

But they completely IGNORE the other person.

When you take into account the UNIQUE ideas, perceptions, experiences and beliefs of the OTHER PERSON, your own “outer game” is much less important.

In fact, in reality you need VERY LITTLE outer game to UNWRAP their inner game.

And once they are seeing YOU through their own unique filters, desires and criteria, it’s much easier than most people realize.

Doesn’t matter WHAT your purpose of communicating is.

Business, personal, romance or just of for fun.

When you focus on THEIR inner game, everything else falls into place.

Learn More:

Interpersonal Resonance

Don't Get Angry

How To Bounce Our Of Mental Ruts

I remember once when I was in college, I had a job interview.

I was in a hurry, and was worried about how it was going to go.

It was only a summer job, but a couple of my friends worked there, and told me what an awesome gig it was.

Professional, had to wear a tie, pay was pretty good.

But halfway there, I reached into my pocket, pulled out the directions, and realized I’d grabbed the wrong sheet of paper.

I was angry, frustrated, and scared all at once. Punched the windshield. Cracked it.

Drove home, grabbed the directions and drove back.

Luckily, I still got the job. However, if it hadn’t been my friends who had put in a good word for me, I likely wouldn’t have.

This is an example of how “out of control” emotions can sneak up on us. Or pop out at any time.

It doesn’t have to be anger. It can be shame. Guilt. Fear. Frustration.

ALL of these have the effect of making us feel “stuck.” Like we’re trapped within a very narrow band of behavior.

Not much choice.

On the other hand, when we’re relaxed, have a lot of options, feel safe and confident, we are the OPPOSITE of stuck.

We can FEEL the forward progress. We go to sleep every night thinking, “Dang, I did a lot of stuff today!”

Notice that this is different from, “wow, I RECEIVED a lot of stuff today.”

When you accomplish things based on your own ACTIONS, it feels a million times better than when somebody hands you something for free.

This, however, requires you GET OUT of those stuck states as SOON as you find yourself in them.

You’ll NEVER avoid them, that’s just of life.

You WILL forget the directions. You WILL make mistakes.

It’s how you RESPOND that makes all the difference.

The more quickly you can respond, and the more RESOURCEFULLY you can respond, the less those random events will slow you down.

On the other hand, if you don’t feel you have a lot of options, it can be super easy to feel victimized by almost anything.

You can see those “events” as PROOF that you are a victim, and you’re doomed.

Or you can see those “events” as simply obstacles to get around, and FEEL CONFIDENT after the fact. Maybe even learning a thing or two along the way.

This requires that you dig inside your emotions and find your own unique “emotional sore spots.”

While everybody’s is similar in structure, your own unique “sore spots” have their own unique recipe based on your own unique history.

But it’s easy to go back in time, and RE-DEFINTE how you labeled those early events.

So current events bother you a LOT less.

Learn How:

Emotional Freedom

Massive Social Status

Stop Getting Sucker Punched

One of the biggest causes of human suffering is an instinct mismatch.

Take hunger for example.

In a hunter-gatherer environment, if you didn’t the tendency to eat as much as you could whenever there was food, you didn’t have much of a chance of surviving.

Since food was limited. When you had some, you had to get as many calories in you (and ON YOU in terms of energy storage) as possible.

But nowadays, that’s a very dangerous strategy. For obvious reasons.

A lot of our instincts were GREAT for primitive times, not so much today.

A couple of these are authority and social proof.

Countless nations have gone nuts because they had a crazy leader (authority) that everybody rallied behind (social proof).

Even today, it’s VERY HARD to admit that we ourselves are influenced by these.

We LIKE to think we are rational, consciously driven, awake, etc.

But next time you’re considering doing something, ask yourself these questions:

Would you still do it if NOBODY else was doing it?

Would you still do it if there were ZERO authority figures behind it?

This is hard. Most of us don’t like to think of ourselves as pack animals.

But as I’m sure you know, many of the greatest inventors, scientists, researchers and explorers of all time didn’t wait around for social or authority approval.

Often times they did so despite not having ANY of that.

Another thing that can in the way of living a fulfilled life is emotional blind spots.

Things that suddenly pop up out of nowhere, and feel like a sucker punch.

Consciously, you have no idea why these things bother you.

They SUBCONSCIOUSLY remind you of some pretty scary things that happened as a kid.

When you were young, inexperienced, and were TOTALLY DEPENDENT on those around you.

The only problem is your lightning fast brain makes such fast associations, that something that is even SIMILAR today to something that happened long ago is going to FEEL just as scary.

Often times without having a rational explanation why.

Kind of like when you KNOW you just ate an hour ago, but you can’t help opening another box of cookies.

The way to “handle” your instincts is to manage them.

The way to “handle” those emotional blind spots is to RE-PROGRAM them.

This is much, much easier. You won’t have to manage them, since they’ll disappear.

Not like your HUNGER will ALWAYS be there.

Those emotional blind spots can be ERASED.

For Good.

Learn How:

Emotional Freedom

How To Obliterate Fear

Mental Time Travel Exercise

When I was a kid, way back in first grade, we had this swing set at school.

On the back side, there was this fence.

On the front side, was the regular playground stuff.

Me and my friend would dare each other to see if we could face the other direction, and then jump over the fence.

We’d try to imagine the height and distance on the front side, and do many “practice” jumps.

But we could never build up the courage of the REAL jump.

After all, if we landed on top, we might DIE!

Years later, I went back, and was astonished.

That fence, which seemed to be this MONSTROUS obstacle, was pretty tiny.

I mean as an adult, I could easily climb over it. Almost vault over it.

One thing that cops are aware of is how incredibly fault our memories are.

If there’s a crime, and ALL the evidence they have is eyewitness testimony, they won’t even bother.

All kinds of experiments show that even moments after an event happens, different people have different ideas of what “really” happened.

Think about all the “horrible” things that happened to you when you were a kid.

Did they REALLY happen that way?

It sure feels good to think that. Because being a “victim” releases you from any responsibility.

Blaming your parents, blaming your teachers, blaming your upbringing are all common “reasons” why we can’t succeed as adults.

But look around at some of the most successful people.

Horrible childhoods. Sure, some were lucky, but that’s generally the exception, not the rule.

While it is easy, comforting and common to blame your “poor childhood,” it’s not useful.

It won’t make it easy to get rich. It won’t make it easy to develop a fulfilling career. It won’t make it easy to create fantastic relationships.

But how can you “release” the past?

One way is to go back, mentally, and review those situations.

See those events from a different perspective.

When they happened, you were just a kid. You had no experience. You had no idea how to respond.

In fact, BECAUSE you were a kid, you were dependent.

Helpless even.

But you’re not any more. And you can take a journey back in time, and REWRITE that history.

Because it really ONLY exists in your mind. And if you learn how to rewrite your own history, based on your adult perspective, those early events won’t bother you as much.

Sure, you’ll still remember those events as happening.

You’ll just be able to label them with different meanings.

Meanings that make it easier for you to succeed today.

How do you do this?

This Is How:

Emotional Freedom

Robot Love

How To Master Your Emotions

I’m a big fan of science fiction shows.

Especially well-written, futuristic ones.

There’s usually a character that is some kind of android, or advanced human, or Vulcan-like person.

Pure logic, zero emotions.

This sets up plenty of interesting scenes where some human is explaining emotions to the robot.

It’s like we admire those who are free from emotions, but at the same time we enjoy seeing somebody explain human emotions.

To be sure, they are the BEST and the WORST part about being human.

When you’re hitting on all cylinders, and you feel like the whole world has your back, nothing feels better.

On the other hand, when nothing works and everybody looks at you like you’ve just crawled out of a dumpster, nothing feels worse.

From a society perspective, our emotions are “glue” that keep us operating smoothly.

Guilt, fear, pleasure, desire. They ostensibly push us towards things that are good for us, and push us away from things that are bad for us.

It doesn’t help that the our emotions were created for a world FAR simpler than the one we’re living in.

This gives rise to situations that on the surface look fine, but underneath we feel like we are on an emotional roller coaster.

Most people know intellectually what to do to get ahead, for example. It’s the DOING that’s difficult.

Sure, if you talk to enough people, you’ll find the ideal business partner, or girlfriend or boyfriend.

It’s the TALKING that’s the tough part.

So we respond by telling ourselves all kinds of stories to make us feel better.

Usually on a subconscious level, so we aren’t really aware of what’s happening.

Then we’re no longer interacting with the REAL word, but one that’s partially based on our on interpretation.

But like anything else, being able to handle your emotions is a SKILL.

The more you practice, the better you’ll get.

Luckily, there are a LOT of ways to do this.

One is to just simply DO IT enough and desensitize yourself.

This takes massive courage, commitment, and time.

Luckily, there are TONS of mental exercises that can help.

Not only to build up your emotions BEFORE going into sketchy situations, but to help you respond much more resourcefully to unknown events.

There’s nothing worse than walking down the street, in a good mood, and then BAM!

Something happens and everything’s suddenly crap.

You can learn to BULLET PROOF yourself from those situations, no matter WHAT they are.

Learn How:

Emotional Freedom

Powerful Presence And Pure Focus

There Is Only Now

Here and Now

One powerful ingredient for charisma is presence.

Being fully present in the moment, especially if you’re speaking with somebody.

Meaning you’re not thinking about what happened five minutes ago, or what you think might happen five minutes later.

But what’s happening right here, right now.

Now, if you only did this, you’d have something most people don’t.

Since most people’s brains are bouncing all over the place, several times a second, you’d have a congruence that few people ever experience, let alone have themselves.

If you were in sales, for example, and you could talk about your product and ONLY focus on the words coming out of your own mouth devoid of any worries of the past or worries of the future, you’d be pretty mesmerizing.

However, that’s just the start.

If you can do the above AND only talk about what’s important to the person you are speaking with, then they’ll literally do ANYTHING to keep you around.

Buy your product, agree with your ideas, follow you home,  ANYTHING.

(Of course, you should NEVER abuse such power!)

Not only do most people have thoughts bouncing all over the universe, but  they are also generally talking about THEIR own worries, fears, needs, wants, etc. AND they are usually gunning for some kind of approval or validation.

Which is why this double whammy, presence and focus, is SO powerful.

However, it can be hard to practice.

Here’s one way. Try this a few times a day if you can. Get somewhere quiet, and sit and close your eyes.

Then find a feeling you’re currently feeling. ANY feeling is fine.

Just feel the pure, now, feeling. Take off the label of the feeling. Feel it as pure NOW energy.

Feel it as strongly as you can, in the here and now. If you can, describe it in your mind, as if it were a real object. Shape, color, texture, size, etc.

Then simply APPRECIATE that feeling, EXACTLY as it is.

This only takes a couple minutes, and you can literally do it anywhere. At red lights, in the elevator, even while somebody else is talking.

Of course, there are plenty other components of charisma, but this simple exercise will take you a long, long way.

If you want to learn more, check this out:

How To Objectively View Yourself

See The Big Picture

See The Big Picture

Once I was sitting in this coffee shop in Japan. 

There were three girls at the table next to me, putting together some kind of collage for a friend of theirs.

A bunch of pictures of some girl (Japanese) and some guy (non-Japanese).

So they wanted to write something cute at the bottom of the picture, in English.

They had settled on the saying “Love Is Blind.”

Now, I wanted to point out that wasn’t the ideal statement to convey to a clearly happy couple.

I wanted to explain that this is normally used to describe somebody who doesn’t quite see what they’re getting into, from an objective standpoint.

Meaning that love makes us overlook the other person’s shortcomings, sometimes when we shouldn’t.

I’m sure you’ve had a friend that was in a relationship with somebody, and you and everybody else knew it wasn’t going to end well. But they thought it was absolutely PERFECT.

And then when it went up in flames, you had to use super human willpower to keep from saying, “I told you so!”

The truth about human nature is that it’s nearly impossible to see what we are doing, right now, from an objective. third party standpoint.

Another time I was watching this race on TV. A middle distance foot race. One guy took a HUGE early lead.

Since I didn’t know anything about the runners, I figured he was going to win. But then the announcer said, almost disparagingly, “He’ll never be able to keep THAT up!” 

Which, of course, he didn’t. He finished near the back of the pack.

Sure, we can see our mistakes clearly in hindsight. We can look back and see that we should have said this, rather than that. We should have done that, rather than this.

If only we could ever learn from our mistakes!

Luckily, we can. Most of our behaviors are based on how we INTERPRET situations, not the situations themselves.

We behave certain ways because doing certain things are simply more comfortable than other certain things.

But there IS a way to go back and change your history, so back here in the present, most everything will be more comfortable. This, that AND the other thing!

Which means we’ll have a lot more flexibility, a lot more choice, and a lot better results.

Learn How:

Emotional Freedom

Who Keeps Hitting The Brakes?

Sabotage Doesn't Mean What You Think It Means

The Roots Of Self Sabotage

When I was in high school we had to take driver training.

We first had to practice in these pretend cars in the classroom, and then we practiced out on the street.

When we went out on the street, we had an instructor and three students.

We would take turns driving, and the instructor, in the passenger seat, would have his own brake pedal.

He usually used it when I was driving, especially around corners. I remember once or twice I saw him grab the armrest in anxiety.

Often times we humans tend to think we are self-sabotaging ourselves.

We want to do something, we get started, and everything’s going fine.

But then we do something totally idiotic, and ruin everything.

“Why do I always mess up a good thing?”

You may ask yourself this from time to time.

But consider this:

That part of you that’s “messing up a good thing,” doesn’t really think they are messing up a good thing.

They are like that driving instructor. Putting on the brakes because he or she thinks you are going too fast.

Who told them to do that?

Well, you did!

Now, you probably don’t remember it. It probably happened subconsciously when you were very young.

But in reality, that part of you that you may refer to as “self-sabotage” isn’t messing you up.

That part of you is doing its best to keep you safe.

See, what happens is we are kids, then we grow up.

As we grow up, our conscious minds change and adapt. We learn new things, want new things, and get new things.

But sometimes we fire off some old triggers we don’t know are there.

Those old triggers that think we’re still living in the world we lived in when we were very young.

So, calling this “self-sabotage” isn’t really an accurate label.

It’s more like having two captains of your ship that have different ideas of where you’re going.

The adult, conscious part of you wants to head out to deeper waters and look for treasure.

The younger, subconscious part of you wants to stay close to shore where it’s safe.

Sure, from an adult standpoint, your subconscious is messing you up.

But guess what?

From a subconscious standpoint, YOU are the one messing up!

You want to go out in the water where it’s dangerous! Where there are monsters! Where you might sink!

It’s like driving a ship with two engines!

The good news is you can go back and calmly explain to your subconscious that it’s OK to head out into deeper waters.

That it’s OK to not be able to see the shore.

That there is TREASURE out there!

Once you’re headed in the same direction, it will be smooth sailing.

Change The DNA Of Your Beliefs

Mental Time Travel

Mental Time Travel

DNA is a pretty amazing invention.

Whether it was created by God, evolution, aliens, whoever built it know what They were doing.

It’s basically this really, really long ladder that’s twisted around.

When it duplicates, the ladder splits in half, right down the middle. 

The way it works nearly perfectly is each half of each rung can ONLY hook up with the part that’s specific to it.

So each half of the ladder floats around, and attracts the perfect opposite half of each individual rung. Then you’ve got two identical DNA pieces.

And of course, each DNA contains the basic recipe for each individual human.

If DNA didn’t reproduce EXACTLY (or pretty close to exactly) we’d all end up as lumps of organic matter instead of people.

THAT would suck!

Beliefs kind of work the same way.

They are formed based on our early family life, or whatever adults you’re around.

Once they are formed, we’ve got these beliefs, or “filters” through which we see the world.

Then when we “detach” from our family (like the DNA split down the middle) we go out into the world. Much like half of the DNA (called RNA, btw) goes out cell.

Generally speaking, when we leave the “nucleus” of our early family life (just like DNA leaves the nucleus of the cell) we find matches for our beliefs, or our filters.

This is why we tend to attract the same people and situations.

They remind us, and make us feel comfortable, on a deep level, because they are very similar to our early family life.

This is fantastic if your early family life was uplifting, resourceful and helpful.

But it kinda sucks if it wasn’t.

Luckily, our beliefs are MUCH MORE flexible than DNA.

DNA is a molecule. It MUST obey the laws of molecular biology. 

Our beliefs, on the other hand, are based not only biology, but our own interpretation of how our early lives were. Or rather the EVENTS in our early life.

All you’ve got to do is go back in time (in your imagination, of course) and CHANGE the meaning you gave to those events.

Do this, and you can live ANY life you want!

For example, what if your parents (or whatever adults raised you) taught you from an early age that making money was easy, finding perfect relationships was easy, speaking in public was easy?

How much BETTER would life be?

The good news is that it’s NEVER TOO LATE to have a happy childhood!

Get Started:

Emotional Freedom