I remember once when I was in college, I had a job interview.
I was in a hurry, and was worried about how it was going to go.
It was only a summer job, but a couple of my friends worked there, and told me what an awesome gig it was.
Professional, had to wear a tie, pay was pretty good.
But halfway there, I reached into my pocket, pulled out the directions, and realized I’d grabbed the wrong sheet of paper.
I was angry, frustrated, and scared all at once. Punched the windshield. Cracked it.
Drove home, grabbed the directions and drove back.
Luckily, I still got the job. However, if it hadn’t been my friends who had put in a good word for me, I likely wouldn’t have.
This is an example of how “out of control” emotions can sneak up on us. Or pop out at any time.
It doesn’t have to be anger. It can be shame. Guilt. Fear. Frustration.
ALL of these have the effect of making us feel “stuck.” Like we’re trapped within a very narrow band of behavior.
Not much choice.
On the other hand, when we’re relaxed, have a lot of options, feel safe and confident, we are the OPPOSITE of stuck.
We can FEEL the forward progress. We go to sleep every night thinking, “Dang, I did a lot of stuff today!”
Notice that this is different from, “wow, I RECEIVED a lot of stuff today.”
When you accomplish things based on your own ACTIONS, it feels a million times better than when somebody hands you something for free.
This, however, requires you GET OUT of those stuck states as SOON as you find yourself in them.
You’ll NEVER avoid them, that’s just of life.
You WILL forget the directions. You WILL make mistakes.
It’s how you RESPOND that makes all the difference.
The more quickly you can respond, and the more RESOURCEFULLY you can respond, the less those random events will slow you down.
On the other hand, if you don’t feel you have a lot of options, it can be super easy to feel victimized by almost anything.
You can see those “events” as PROOF that you are a victim, and you’re doomed.
Or you can see those “events” as simply obstacles to get around, and FEEL CONFIDENT after the fact. Maybe even learning a thing or two along the way.
This requires that you dig inside your emotions and find your own unique “emotional sore spots.”
While everybody’s is similar in structure, your own unique “sore spots” have their own unique recipe based on your own unique history.
But it’s easy to go back in time, and RE-DEFINTE how you labeled those early events.
So current events bother you a LOT less.