I was at this seminar a long time ago where we did this weird exercise.
The instructor had us look around the room, and choose two people, based only on first impressions BEFORE we had a conversation with anybody.
We did it twice.
Once to choose two people we would want to have our backs.
A second time to choose two people we didn’t want ANYTHING to do with.
Both times, we were to raise our hands when we were finished.
It was a VERY difficult exercise!
Most people had no problems choosing people they wanted to have their backs.
And at the same time, it felt good thinking that maybe somebody else was choosing us.
The second time around was much harder. Most people couldn’t do it.
The reason was to elevate to conscious thinking what we do subconsciously, all the time.
A LOT of that isn’t stuff we like to think about. So we pretend it doesn’t exist.
But it’s there. It’s human nature. It’s a survival instinct.
You can either ignore it, and hope it isn’t important.
Or accept it. And work it in your advantage.
One is to be as congruent as possible.
One thing that spends out a “weird” or “creepy” vibe is if you are incongruent.
Like if somebody is sitting next to you on the train, and they are sort of trying to start a conversation with you, but they’re super nervous. Part of them wants to, part of them doesn’t. They are incongruent.
If YOU are the one that’s incongruent, THAT’S the vibe you’re sending out.
But if you understand this, you can fix it. Become more congruent.
What happens when you become more congruent?
You’ll become naturally attractive. Charismatic. Magnetic.
Know which “class” of people are SUPER congruent? That don’t have any lying in them? That aren’t half in and half out?
That’s why they are so frikking adorable. When they’re happy, they let everybody know.
When they’re sad or angry, they don’t hide it.
They sit right there in the middle of a busy mall on a Saturday afternoon and ball their eyes out!
They don’t care who sees them!
Same when they’re happy. And you KNOW when you see a happy kid running around, few things are cuter.
Once upon a time, YOU were that kid.
YOU were that ultra charismatic person.
Imagine if you could be THAT charismatic, but as an adult!
What could you do?
Who would you talk to?
What kind of life would you lead?
You can. All of that.