Category Archives: Approach Anxiety

Bam! Pow!

Ninja Language Patterns

We humans use a lot of vagueness.

Both in our thinking, and our language.

We have to.

There is just TOO much stuff going on inside and outside to communicate otherwise.

There’s a movie called “The Usual Suspects.”

It’s considered a classic, or even a cult favorite.

But the MEANING of the movie is VERY vague.

So much so that when the writer and the director finished making the movie, and were ready to go on the press tour, they had a HUGE fight.

One guy had the impression that most of the movie was TRUE, (meaning the events in the movie actually happened) and only a little bit was imaginary.

On the other hand, the other guy thought most of the movie was a HALLUCINATION of one of the characters, and very little was actually true.

If you’ve seen the movie, you can get this.

You can see BOTH interpretations when you see it.

Either mostly real, or mostly a hallucination.

This is one of the problems with vague language and vague thinking.

It’s also one of our BIGGEST weak points.

Because when something is wrong, we tend to IMAGINE the worst.

That’s how we managed to survive in our very ancient and very harsh environment.

If our ancestors had always assumed the BEST, we would have died out a long time ago.

So we’re kind of stuck with that “imagine the worst” response to vague and unknown things.

Which can make us vulnerable, if somebody KNOWS how to push our buttons.

All they have to do is LOOK at us funny, and we’ll imagine all kinds of horrible things.

Even worse if they say something that’s even a little mean, but still kind of vague.

They might let out a sigh, roll their eyes and say, “I KNEW you were doing to do that.”

Even if we’ve done NOTHING, that simple and VERY VAGUE statement can make us feel horrible.

Luckily, there is a VERY POWERFUL way to defend against any kind of VAGUE statement.

So simple it will make people that toss insults quake in their boots.

It’s easy to learn, and simple to use.

And once you TEACH the world HOW to respond to you, they will

Learn How:

Stop Manipulation

Defend Your Boundaries

How To Really Really Like Yourself

Energy is a strange concept.

Even when talking about energy from a pure physics standpoint, it’s hard to wrap our minds around.

We can’t really EVER experience PURE energy.

Even though energy and matter are the same.

That’s what Einstein’s famous equation (E=mc^2) says.

Energy EQUALS Matter (times a pure number, the speed of light squared).

But every single experience we have of “energy” is really “energy” AND matter.

Even electricity is the movement of electrons, which are particles.

And those particles have mass.

But when talking about us humans, with respect to energy, what do we really mean?

If you say somebody has “positive energy” what does that mean?

It generally means the sum total of all their subconscious body language movements.

How they walk, how they talk, the tone of their voice. How slowly or quickly they speak, etc.

You could also say the same about somebody who has “negative” energy.

Maybe they are angry, frustrated, fists clenched, teeth gritted, looking around for a fight.

Sociologists who study criminals tell us that when criminals are out looking for victims, they look for people who radiate “victim energy.”

People that look down when they walk, have their shoulders slumped over, rarely make eye contact with anybody.

They KNOW that if they rob these “victim energy” people, they will get away pretty easily.

Unfortunately, a LOT of people operate this way.

Not just pick-pockets and purse snatchers.

It’s believed that one out of every twenty five people is a clinical SOCIOPATH.

And these people have a sixth sense for those of us who are EASY to take advantage off.

It gets worse.

Even people that wouldn’t be considered sociopaths tend to know WHEN they can take advantage of others.

Even those close to us.

They get to know our buttons, and they learn how to push them.

It makes us emotionally weak, and allows them to get what THEY want a lot easier.

Even if you weren’t being taken advantage of, radiating this kind of energy (the easy to be manipulated kind) is NOT attractive in the least.

What IS the most attractive kind of “energy?”

Comfortable in your own skin.

Somebody that ENJOYS who they are.

If YOU like YOU the world will too.

But if you DON’T like YOU, the world can be a dangerous place.

Luckily it’s MUCH EASIER than most people realize to switch into the “I like me” energy, which radiates confidence and attractiveness.

Learn How:

Stop Manipulation

Hot Buttered Popcorn

Hot Buttered Popcorn!

The first job I had selling anything was in elementary school.

Me and my buddy volunteered to sell popsicles at lunch.

It was a lot easier than I’d expected.

Selling stuff people want to buy is pretty fun.

Everybody’s generally in a good mood.

When I was in HS I worked at a movie theater.

That was also fun.

Especially when they tried and “experimental” sales method.

I was eager to try it out.

Instead of sitting there passively behind the snack counter waiting for customers, they wanted me to load up a cart of stuff and walk into the theaters.

The girl doing it hated it.

Nobody would buy anything.

But she was just standing there, waiting for people to come up.

I tried a different method.

I would push the cart up and down the aisles, yelling out whatever goofy sales pitches I could think of.

At first it was pretty embarrassing.

But pretty soon people started buying stuff.

Soon, I was sold out.

It happened over and over.

Even the people that didn’t buy stuff were entertained. Some high school kid making up lame sales pitches, yelling them out as he walked up and down the aisles.

Of course, there are many ways to sell things.

And few things are as enjoyable to purchase as popcorn on movie night.

At least, that’s now how they seem at first.

Some things we buy because we have to.

But even those purchases can be turned into something exciting.


All sales (and all decisions for that matter) happen when we WANT to do something more than we WANT to NOT do something.

It’s really a matter of “either-or” at the end.

But the cool thing is there are many ways to attach things they are already excited about to whatever you want them to do.

Buy something, or give you their phone number or go somewhere with you.

All you need to do is build their general desire, and then attach that general desire to whatever you’re suggesting.

A few simple language patterns, and some spatial anchoring, you can connect any feeling to any decision.

Not only will they love doing what you suggest, but it will be a lot of fun.

Learn How:

Hypnotic Sales

All In Your Mind

How To Calibrate Your Energy

I used to work in this huge lab.

We had all kinds of expensive equipment used for measuring all kinds of stuff.

Each one had to be calibrated.

Some every day, some once a year.

There was another lab, (with one guy) and his only job was to make sure the calibration of all the stuff (in my lab and in the other labs) was all up to date.

We made stuff that was regulated by the FDA, and they’d pop in unannounced every once in a while and check.

How do you calibrate something?

Compare it to a standard.

For example, one of the units of measure for pressure is millimeters of mercury.

A glass column filled with liquid mercury will exert a certain pressure relative to the height.

So you increase the actual column height of the actual mercury, and then compare that to how the electronic pressure gauge is reading.

You can calibrate people the same way.

This is one of those exercises people do in NLP seminars.

Ask a person two questions, and get them to tell the truth on one, and lie on the other.

The idea is you relax your mind, defocus your eyes, you can read the difference their energy between lying and telling the truth.

If you do a few times by calibrating (knowing when they are lying so you can accurately measure they’re “lying energy”), then you can have fun.

It’s a lot easier than people think.

The thing about us humans is we’ve been around a long time, and been effectively communicating with one another LONG BEFORE spoken language was invented.

But if ALL you focus on is spoken language, you’ll mist over NINETY PERCENT of people’s true message.

Think about the difference between really GOOD actors and really TERRIBLE actors.

Both are given the words to say. Both are told HOW to say those words.

But some are really good, (and are worth millions) and some are not so good.

What’s the difference?

Inner congruence. We believe the million dollar actors.

The straight to streaming actors, not so much.

How do you develop that inner congruence?

By accepting and appreciating ALL your energy.

Few people ever consider this.

Most folks only know they have good stuff, and bad stuff.

They chase the good stuff, and ignore anything that causes discomfort, anxiety, or fear.

But if you appreciate ALL your energy, and learn to express it through all of your communication, there is magic.

Learn More:

Sex Transmutation

Brains Brains Brains

Hallucinating Holes In Boxes

There’s a cool hallucination in physics.

It’s used in both solid state physics and quantum physics.

It’s a purposely created hallucination because it makes the math a lot easier.

For example, when studying solid state physics, they need to understand a crap ton of particles in a very small space.

But since each particle has a few variables (mass, spin, charge, etc.) the math is way too complicated.

One guy came up with the idea of instead of thinking of a box of particles (which there are a lot) to think of a box of holes.

There’s a lot fewer holes. And the holes each have zero everything (mass, spin, charge).

Turns out that describing a box filled with a few holes is a lot easier than describing a box filled with a lot more actual particles.

It works because they all know it’s a hallucination.

A purposely created hallucination just to understand the math easier.

Trouble comes when we come up with metaphors to describe underlying complex phenomenon, but we forget about it.

And we start to treat the metaphors as actual descriptions of reality.

For example, a common metaphor is “The Road is Better Than The Inn.”

But you don’t have to be on an actual road going to an actual inn to understand it to mean the process of getting somewhere (even if that somewhere is at a certain skill level) is often times better than the destination.

Sometimes we do the opposite.

Instead of coming up with metaphors to describe something, we ignore that something altogether.

We’re terrified of finding out what it REALLY is.

Kind of like when you get your bank statement in the mail.

So we ignore it.

Most of us hope that so long as nothing “bad” happens, then ignoring it is a good strategy.

It seems to be working.

But what if that which we ignore is our source of our greatest power?

Power can certainly be intimidating.

There are lot of metaphorical stories about us dumb humans biting off more than we can chew.

But what if those stories themselves are really tricks?

To KEEP us from looking?

After all, if YOU discovered your greatest power, would you tell everybody, or keep it secret?

Find Out:

Sex Transmutation

Believe In Yourself

Who Leads Your Life?

Back in the 1800’s a couple of genius scientists made a prediction.

Their prediction was that “science” had already more or less discovered everything.

Lucky for us, they were wrong.

This is pretty common.

Before they invented railroads, most “experts” scoffed at the idea that people could travel long distances in a short time.

Even physical accomplishments, like the four minute mile were thought to be impossible.

Until Roger Bannister ran a mile in under four minutes.

Once he showed it was possible, suddenly everybody could do it.

Well, not “everybody” but you get the idea.

But the question is, why did those folks who ran a sub-four minute mile AFTER Bannister did it need to wait?

Why did they did to SEE it to BELIEVE it?

Bannister did the opposite.

He BELIEVED it first, then he achieved it.

One way is easy.

That’s the way most people live their lives.

They won’t believe ANYTHING unless they see proof.

But here’s the thing.

If you wait for PROOF that something is “possible” (or safe or whatever else you want proof of) then EVERYBODY will have that same proof.

And since MOST people will wait for PROOF, that means MOST people will only be able to do what all the other “most people” do.

And if you can ONLY do what “most people” can do, then you’ll GET the same thing that most people get.

Which, by definition, is average.


Bannister didn’t want average.

Neither did all of the scientists and entrepreneurs who kept inventing stuff even though the “experts” said everything had already been invented.

Doing that takes courage.

Doing that takes belief in YOURSELF.

Doing that requires you are capable of moving forward into uncertainty, without somebody holding your hand and showing the way.

It requires you LEAD. Not necessarily others, but your own life.

Funny thing is, even if you don’t WANT to lead others, if you lead yourself, plenty of people will follow.

Learn How:

Entrepreneurial Mind

Jam Your Brain

Are You Close To A Breakthrough?

Some skills are highly specialized.

Others are very general.

Since our mind-body systems have to follow the laws of economics, we have to maximize our efficiency.

The most “expensive” part of our body is our brain.

By weight, it burns more calories than every other part.

So there a lot of “efficiencies” built in.

Thinking patterns that save on energy.

Sometimes these help, sometimes they don’t.

They help when we learn something enough so that we can do it without thinking.

Unconscious competence.

Other things, like leftover instincts, can get in the way.

Irrational fears, memories that don’t help is any more.

Just like on your computer, it can help to periodically go in and clean up the junk cluttering up your “hard drive.”

One of the weird things about human creativity is that things seem super easy in retrospect, but looking forward they can seem impossible.

Inventions, for example, seem totally blatant AFTER they are invented.

But for some reason, it took a LONG TIME for people to invent them.

For example, something like a stirrup seems totally obvious.

Little straps attached to the saddle of a horse, so you could keep your balance.

But people fought on horseback for over a thousand years before somebody thought to invent the stirrup.

But once they did, it changed everything.

Plenty of inventions are like that.

Dead simple, yet out of reach at the same time.

Those who “stumble” across these inventions can sometimes make billions.

But even if you don’t want to be an inventor, or even a business person, being able to train your brain to see things others can’t will be very helpful.

It can also make your life a lot easier.

There may be HUGE opportunities right in front of your nose that you can’t see.

Find Them:

Entrepreneurial Mind

Monsters Are Coming

Epic Journeys and Monster Fights

Why do we humans love stories so much?

Anything that is ubiquitous across all time and all cultures usually has a LOT of reasons for being around.

Imagine what it was like in ancient hunter-gatherer tribes.

Before written language was invented.

What kind of stories would they have told and retold?

They would have to be entertaining.

Nobody likes boring stories.

But they also had to be inspirational.

After all, living back in those days wasn’t easy.

Imagine your typical hunter-gatherer, going to “work” every day.

They had to find an animal to kill and eat. Usually the bigger the better.

What kind of “story-memories” could be helpful to have when chasing down a big wooly mammoth?

Fairy princess stories?

Or the little guy kills the big monster story?

How about when the weather changed, and they had to migrate into unknown territory.

What stories would be useful to tell each night during those long journeys?

Frog into prince stories?

Or epic adventure stories?

When you watch a movie or read a book, what character do you imagine to be?

The good guy or the bad guy?

The main character or one of the supporting characters?

The Greeks knew long ago one of the reasons we love stories is it gives us a feeling of emotional release.

We get to feel the “tension-release” without having to actually go through the risky or painful “event.”

Books and movies that flop are usually because they don’t “move” us.

And when they say, “move,” that obviously means “move our emotions” around.

If you’ve studied hypnosis, you know that the “thing” that “moves” us when it comes to individual language is STRUCTURE much more than content.

And guess what?

All of those epic stories of adventure, killing the monster, etc., they have the SAME structure.

Joseph Campbell called it the “Hero’s Journey.”

The cool thing is that you don’t need to be Spielberg or Stephen King to create these same structures.

You can create them conversationally, and move people profoundly.

You’ll find it’s a pretty cool party trick.

But that’s just the beginning.

Because any time you’re “chit chatting” to somebody, and you drop in a few of these similar structures, you can have a lasting effect on whoever you’re speaking to.

Learn How:

Hypnotic Storytelling

Click With Anybody

How To Click With Nearly Anybody

The idea of resonance has always been a favorite of mine.

Even as a kid, when I didn’t know what it was.

Me and my friends learned how to shake street signs.

If you push it back and forth at the right frequency, you can get some pretty huge oscillations.

Much bigger than you’d be able to push on your own.

Being a kid and leveraging some principle of science to create an effect seemingly impossible is pretty cool.

The same happens when people “click” with one another.

Most of the time we stumble through life, just trying randomly.

So when that “click” does happen, it’s extra special.

Because it’s “scarce” it seems to be more valuable than it really is.

Scarcity does that.

But this presents a problem, one we really don’t realize.

Because we perceive those situations (where we “click” with others) as “scarce” we tend to hang onto them LONGER than we should.

Luckily, this won’t happen once we realize that feeling of “scarcity” is only in our mind.

Once you learn how to CREATE that “click” feeling, the scarcity goes away.

And will make those “click” situations MUCH BETTER.

Normally, when we start to “click” with somebody we are both worried and ecstatic at the same time.

Happy it’s happening, but worried because it’s scarce.

And scarce things tend to stay that way.

So not only do we hang on for dear life, we tend to do things not to ENHANCE that “click” feeling, but protect it.

We don’t want to ruin a good thing.

But once you learn how to create that click feeling in a majority of the people you interact with, a couple of things will happen.

One is because they won’t be scarce, you can relax and enjoy them.

Two is because you’ll be relaxing and enjoying the situation, the other person will “resonate” with you.

This is what people do.

We vibe with one another.

If YOU are nervous, so will the other person.

IF you are relaxed and enjoying yourself, so will the other person.

This requires that you stop HOPING it will happen, and learn how to MAKE it happen.

Once you do, you’ll have a skill few people even know exist.

Learn How:

Hypnotic Storytelling

My Hero!

Show Them Their Hidden Hero

Lately (last ten years or so) they’ve been a LOT of superhero movies and TV shows.

Word on the street is that ten or twenty years ago, studio execs were a little iffy on superhero Hollywood movies.

Dudes dressed in tights running around didn’t seem like such a good idea.

Great for comic books, but not up on the big screen.

But then they stared making them, and the movies started making money.

Now there’s ALL KINDS of superhero’s on TV and in the movies.

Why do we love these clearly fictional superheroes so much?

The answer to that could fill a doctoral dissertation in philosophy, psychology or even evolutionary biology.

Maybe it’s because we would all love to be “saved” by the superhero.

Or maybe we all secretly wish we could BE the superhero.

Maybe that’s why a lot of them are anonymous.

“Regular people” by day, but when they put on their costumes, (so nobody knows their identity) they run around saving people and beating up bad guys.

Maybe it’s a useful fantasy. Maybe we all really DO have some kind of “super powers” but we’re afraid to show it.

So the “anonymous superhero” is compelling to us.

But there is a tricky way you can “be” a superhero in real life.

You won’t get to beat up bad guys, but you’ll be able to move people emotionally to wonderful places they can’t otherwise get to on their own.

All while remaining anonymous.

How’s that?

First, you understand the superhero structure. The deep structure that is in nearly all stories.

Then wrap your “suggestions” for them in a superhero story.

Then “hide in” in a few other stories, carefully nested in the center.

That way, it’s not really “you” telling the story.

It’s some character within the story that is telling the story to another character.

One is YOUR alter ego, the other is THEIR alter ego.

But because you’ve hidden both identities, nobody will know what’s going on but you.

And you will have hidden your superhero powers in the best possible place.

In plain sight.

Learn More:

Hypnotic Storytelling