Category Archives: Feedback

Become A Super Hero Persuader

How To Disappear Hidden Objections

It’s very hard to do something when we are afraid to do it.

Most of the time, we think of this from our own perspective.

But it can be very helpful to see this from others as well.

We all have the experience of trying to convince somebody to do something.

And they “sort of want to” but they are a little scared at the same time.

Maybe you want to go out and be social, but your buddy wants to play video games.

They’ll never say, “Yeah, going out and meeting people sounds fantastic. But I’m kid of scared of rejection or saying something stupid and looking like an idiot, so I’d rather stay here and play video games.”

Instead they say, “Dude, that’s lame, let’s just chill here.”

One of the common tactics of avoid unpleasant situations is to condemn that which we fear.

It’s kind of an internal reframe.

I don’t want to go out because I’m afraid of rejection, I don’t want to go out because going out is lame.

They may give a few supporting arguments for the “lame” part, making their argument sound logical.

Cover charges, waiting in line, traffic, etc.

But the REAL reason is the same.

Carefully hidden beneath all of their surface structure “logic.”

The common response is to argue with their surface structure logic.

But since that’s just a cover for the REAL issue (in this metaphor social anxiety) it will only REINFORCE that the REAL issue is the surface level.

You could try and “prove” you are right by forcing them to admit they’re really scared, so you could tell them there’s nothing to be scared about.

But that would make them dig even deeper.

“Dude, what the hell are you talking about? I just don’t to wait in line so I can spend $20 for a gin and tonic!”

A much BETTER strategy would be to acknowledge the real issue, and just leave it be.

Sometimes you NEED the objection to overcome it.

But often times this isn’t the case.

You just need to do the opposite.

Frame your idea so that it’s so compelling, they’ll overcome their own objection.

This way, even if you’re wrong about the objection, it won’t matter.

Luckily, pretty much any idea can be presented so it’s MORE powerful than any internal objections they may have.

Which is even better, since in overcoming their own objections (usually subconsciously) they’ll convince themselves it was THEIR idea all along.

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Seven Laws

How To Exceed Expectations

How to Always Beat Expectations

I remember when I saw the movie, “Stargate,” for the first time.

I read a review when it came out, before I saw it.

The review said it sucked, so when I went to see it, I expected a crappy movie.

But it turned out to be a cult favorite with tons of spin offs.

Now, it certainly wasn’t a GREAT movie. But it was better than I expected.

When a company reports it’s quarterly or yearly earnings, it’s the same situation.

The stock price goes up or down not on the ABSOLUTE earnings (or more technically, earnings per share or EPS) but whether or not the EPS is BETTER or WORSE than expectations.

A company that reports EPS of $.10 when everybody only expected $.05 will generally shoot through the roof.

Where a company that reports $1.25 when everybody was expecting $1.50, the stock will tank.

Even in the stereotypical story of a young, in experienced person with HUGE dreams, an older, more experienced person will tell them it’s simply not possible.

The conversation usually goes something like this:

“Why are you trying to crush my dreams?”

“I’m not. I just don’t want you to get hurt. To try and fail. I’m protecting you.”

Clearly, our expectations about the reality around us are absolutely crucial.

If you walk down the street expecting to find bags of money, you’ll be disappointed.

But if you’re just expecting to have a nice stroll on a sunny day, and you find a dollar bill, it will feel pretty cool.

One of the ways we mess ourselves up is if we have very VAGUE expectations.

Like “I hope something good happens,” or even worse, “I hope nothing BAD happens.”

Then no matter WHAT happens, it’s not good enough.

But what happens if you have vague expectations that ALWAYS come true?

Like, “I’m about to learn something interesting.”

So you go and do something, not really sure what’s going to happen, but sure that it will be useful information.

How do you do this?

You need to practice.

You have to have EXPERIENCE learnings from every interaction.

This is why DAILY JOURNALING is crucial.

Write down what you did, write down what happened, write down what you learned. Then write down how you can maybe use this information.

It’s also very helpful, and much more powerful, if you have some BIG life goals you’re pursuing.

Money, relationships, career, health, family, living conditions, etc.

So you can see EVERY SINGLE INTERACTION with reality as getting more information that you can use to help you get closer.

Then every action you take will be less scary, less worrisome, less anxious.

And it will FEEL more like a step in the right direction, no matter what happens.

This is one the things you’ll learn in the FEARLESS Ebook.

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Trying To Copy Everybody Else?

Afraid of Mistakes?

When I was a kid I loved popcorn.

Both making it, and eating it.

Once I tried to make some, but I couldn’t find any oil.

I found some other stuff that looked like oil, but wasn’t oil.

Only I didn’t find out until I’d mixed it with the popcorn and heated it on the fire.

Instead of getting a bowl of popcorn, I got a gooey inedible mess.

Now, at the time, I was pretty disappointed. Not only did I didn’t get what I wanted, but I had a huge mess to clean up.

But at the same time, it was kind of fun to experiment. To try and see.

Something else I used to love as a kid. Most of the time, the results were neutral, or good. Sometimes they backfired. Once I almost caught my room on fire.

Consider what your life would be like if were impossible to be curious. Impossible to wonder “what if.”

You’d only be able to do stuff that was “safe.”

Only stuff that others had tried and succeeded. Always be a follower, and not a leader.

Sure, you’d never catch stuff on fire and you wouldn’t have any expected messes, but it would be pretty boring.

Some people are happy to live a boring life.

Some people would RATHER live a boring life.

Think of the most magnificent thing you’d like in life, right now.

Are you willing to make tons of goofy mistakes in order to get there?

Because that is what it will take.

Nobody went from normal to king or queen without plenty of mishaps along the way.

Two steps forward and one step back. All the way to the top.

Accepting, owning, and learning from your mistakes is the singular most important thing you can do.

If you are afraid to do this, you’ll be stuck right where you are.

If you’re willing to mess up BIG, and keep on rolling, you’ll be fine.

After all, you’re only a “failure” when you stop moving forward.

What do YOU want to learn?

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Mind Persuasion Ebooks

You Must Embrace Trial and Error

Stop Waiting and Start Doing

When you were a little kid, you learned by copying.

And if you’ve ever had kids, or are ever around them, you know they tend to copy whatever you do.

Sometimes it’s cute, sometimes it’s embarrassing.

Even for most of human history, most “learning” came from copying.

If you wanted to learn a trade, for example, you had to find somebody that would let you be their apprentice.

Slowly learn the trade, all the ins and outs, and how to do “it” as well as them.

This forms the basis of NLP modeling.

You find somebody that does what you want to do, and then “model” them, which is basically copy them.

Only you have to copy EVERYTHING.

Their beliefs, attitudes, history, EVERYTHING.

Naturally, the more complicated the skills required, the more difficult it is to copy them.

One thing that you will NEVER get rid of is the NEED to make mistakes.

Because no matter WHO you are modeling, they can’t have achieved any level of success without a SIGNIFICANT amount of trial and error. Or as they say in NLP, “Trial and Feedback.”

Unfortunately, many people like to be told EXACTLY what to do in hopes it will relieve them from making ANY mistakes.

“I’m ready for success! I’m open to receive! Just TELL ME what to do and I’ll do it!”

But they discover the “secret” is to simply keep trying until they get it right, they don’t like this idea so much.

Sure, modeling can help. It can accelerate the process. But being willing to accept any “result” no matter how “good” or “bad” is required for any kind of real success.

Which may be the reason why most people are always looking for the next “big secret.”

They’d rather wait they’re ENTIRE LIVES for somebody to tell them what to do than simply make a move and see what happens.

Sure, this can be terrifying. But also incredibly liberating. As you’ve likely realized from time to time, most of our deepest fears NEVER materialize.

So when you do “wing it” just to “see what happens,” it’s rarely even close to what you feared the most.

And every single time you try something, and accept whatever happens as valuable feedback, you WILL learn something.

Sure, often times you’ll learn what NOT to do, but you’ll also get experience.

And a deep KNOWING that trying and “failing” isn’t so bad.

It can be kind of fun.

So long as you have a clear idea of where you’d like to be EVENTUALLY, and the persistency to keep going no matter what, you’ll not only get there, but have a lot of fun in the meantime.

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Mind Persuasion Ebooks

Ready To Cross The River?

Cross The River

Action Feedback Action

​Once a buddy of mine and I went hiking on this local trail.

Neither of us had been there before, and we’d been talking about it for a while.  

But when we were driving in my old Toyota Corolla, we came to this river crossing.

It was on this dirt road with a LOT of potholes, and this crossing was just before the trailhead.

Only it was pretty deep. Driving across, the water was about 3/4 of the way up my tires.

My little Toyota looked pretty funny next do all those big trucks!

In retrospect, it probably wasn’t the best decision. After all, the benefit was a hike in the local mountains. The risk was losing my car, or doing some significant damage and having to pay a tow-truck to come all the way out there.

Metaphorically speaking though, I’m glad I did it. We had a goal, we weren’t sure how we were going to get there, we came up against some obstacles (the pot-holed road and the unexpected stream) and we plowed right through.

Another time when I was in boy scouts, we went on this week long hiking trip in the Sierras. We’d come across these rivers we’d have to cross, and sometimes it took a while to find a decent place.

But once there were NO places where we could cross without getting wet. So that’s what we did.

We stripped down to our tighty-whitey’s, and walked across carrying our packs over our heads.

Cold! But REALLY cool.

Again, same principle. You have a destination, and you have an obstacle. You could either turn around and go home, or power right through.

Most people, when they think about what they’d like to achieve in life, everything’s fine until they come up against an obstacle.

Then they suddenly change their mind.

The secret of getting ANYTHING you want is to make the decision to do WHATEVER it takes.

Most people are simply NOT willing to do that. Sure, they’d love to RECEIVE whatever they want. But as soon as somebody starts talking about “risk” or “trial and error” or “feedback” or “obstacles” they run home to re-read their favorite books on the Law of Attraction or something. That’s EASIER than actually getting their hands dirty.

Which is the sad truth about most folks today. They’d rather believe in fairy tales that deliver NOTHING, than actually get out into the world and do the work.

But if you are willing to do the WORK, you CAN get anything you want.

Belief. Action. Feedback. More Action.

Keep that up, never stop, and the world is yours.

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Leverage The Invisible Hand

Feedback Loops

Feedback Magic

​There’s this pretty cool theory in economics called “spontaneous order.”

It’s been misunderstood by some, as Adam Smith referred to it as the “invisible hand.”

People thought he was referring to God, or some Creator, but he wasn’t.

Instead, he was referring to the idea that people, on their own, working together, will come up with incredibly creative solutions to problems.

Basically it works like this. There’s a unfulfilled need. And somebody comes up with his or her best guess on how to fulfill that. It sort of does, for a while. Then somebody else sees that, and copies it, only they make it a little bit better. Then somebody copies THAT, and makes THAT a little bit better.

In a short while, you’ve got some crazy invention that NOBODY would have thought of.

Another thing that happens is that people start to think if DIFFERENT ways to use that invention, whatever it is.

Then THAT will spin off into a bunch of different directions as people riff off each other and keep the magic going.

Despite how “obvious” these things seem to be, these inventions evolve in ways that NOBODY could have predicted.

This is the “invisible hand” or “spontaneous order.” The vast “hive mind” that is continuously upgrading all of it’s collective ideas, and inventions, so people can more easily get their needs met.

It’s about as close to a REAL PRESENCE of a “super conscious mind” that you can get.

No top down management. Nobody checking to make sure everybody is following the “rules.” Just people being creative in solving each others problems, and fulfilling each others needs.

This also happens very much the same way on an individual level. Often times, people have goals or dreams but are afraid to start, because they don’t know how. They seem to think there is some kind of step by step plan to make it happen.

But just like no society can predict what inventions will exist in five or ten years, there is no way YOU can predict the path between YOU and your goals.

Because every single step will require you interact with the world, and see what happens. Then you take THAT feedback, which is necessarily UNKNOWN until it happens, and use that information to act again.

Every time you act, you get feedback. All feedback helps you act better next time.

Nearly every major success story you’ll find is somebody who had NO IDEA HOW they were going to be successful at the beginning.

All they had was a strong desire, and the motivation to keep going, no matter what.

So long as you know what you want, you keep taking action, and you learn from all feedback, it is impossible to fail.

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