Category Archives: Exchange

Secrets Of Magnetic Behavior

The Give and Get Model

There’s a metaphor about heaven and hell that I like.

As it goes, in both heaven and hell there’s both plenty of people, and plenty of food.

And in both heaven and hell, the food comes in these bowls.

In both places, the people have to eat with these really, really long spoons.

The ONLY difference is what goes on in the minds of the inhabitants.

Everything else is EXACTLY the same.

In hell, nobody trusts anybody, so everybody tries to get by solely on their own. But since the spoons are too long to use, everybody’s always starving, lonely, and miserable.

But in heaven, people work together. They trust each other. They are willing to take risks. They know that you can get whatever you want, so long as you help others get what THEY want FIRST.

So they first take their long spoon, scoop out some food in some other person’s bowl, and feed them. They don’t know if they’ll reciprocate. They don’t worry that the person might take advantage of them. They don’t worry that everybody might think their an idiot for being so gullible.

And guess what?

This selfless behavior INSPIRES others. That other person that got fed by a stranger CAN’T wait to return the favor. They look around for somebody in need, so they can help.

Pretty soon, everybody is eagerly helping others, sharing, creating relationships, making friends.

Everybody’s happy. Everybody’s full. Nobody’s left behind.

Meanwhile, back in hell, everybody’s still starving, angry, alone, and worried that somebody is going to come and steal their food (that they can’t eat anyway).

This is the secret of charisma and personal magnetism.

Forget about talking about yourself and your own desires. Forget about your own shortcomings (real or imagined). Forget about all the constant approval seeking.

Go first. See somebody who could use a friend. Go and talk to them. Ask them about what they want. Find out what’s special and unique about them.

Spend your time focusing on and helping others.

Be an inspiration.

Do this, and others will be EAGER to help you get what you want, whatever it is.

What’s more, since all of us humans are MUCH MORE similar than we are different, there’s a really good chance what YOU want shares a lot with what THEY want.

And that overlap is the source of all partnerships, friendships, and romances.

Get Started:

Charisma Generator

Break The Rules And Have Fun

Can You Do Better?

I love haggling for prices.

Especially when there’s an expectation to haggle.

Now, most of the time, there’s a price tag and people just pay the asking price.

But you’d be surprised how much wiggle room there is.

Many places the sales person simply doesn’t have the authority to haggle, and they might feel put on the spot.

But just to have some fun, try this out.

Next time you’re shopping for something, and there’s a salesperson standing nearby, look at the price tag, look at them, and ask, “Can you do any better?”

Chances are they’ll look confused.

This works really great if you’re in smaller shops that are staffed by the proprietor themselves.

Although there are some places this will clearly backfire. Like standing in line at your favorite fast food place at lunchtime.

But for the vast majority of things, nothing’s REALLY set in stone.

Which means if you simply ask, you may be surprised what you can get.

But if you never ask, you’ll never get.

Of course, you can give yourself a lot better chance if you ask “correctly.” If you just walked up to people on the street and asked them for money, you wouldn’t likely be successful.

But if you get to know the person, just a little bit, to find out what they wanted, it you might make your “request” a lot more “acceptable.”

Like before asking the department store salesperson if they can “do any better,” you might ask if they work on commission. Or how sales have been. Or any other benefit TO THEM for making a sale.

Now, the point is not to get out there be a super ninja haggler, and always be asking everybody what they can give you.

But it is kind of fun to see almost every single relationship as something “to be determined” compared to something listed on a price tag, or somebody’s expectations.

Truth is most people are pretty bored. They see themselves, and everybody else fulfilling some “role” of what they are supposed to say and do.

So when you come up and “change the rules,” they’ll see you as somebody that’s more interesting than everybody else. Somebody who doesn’t necessarily need to play by the rules.

Once you start seeing your reality around you as a work in progress, one you can fully participate in and mold as you move through it, life can be a LOT more fun.

Of course, this requires you leave behind some of those old fear of “looking silly” or “calling attention to yourself.”

But that’s pretty easy to do.

See for yourself:

Emotional Freedom

The Happy Popcorn Seller

People Want To Give You Money

When I was in high school I had a lot of retail jobs, usually related to some kind of food.

Selling popcorn at the movies, selling pizzas at a pizza shop, working the counter in various fast food places.

I always liked the fast pace, but what I enjoyed most was interacting with people.

Everybody’s happy when they’re about to eat something. They’re happy to be paying for something that’s going make them feel good.

Especially when I worked at the movies. People buying popcorn on a Friday or Saturday night before seeing the latest blockbuster were always in a good mood.

The conversation was just long enough to exchange smiles, a couple of “thank you’s” and then on to the next person.

This is the kind of transaction people overlook when they say “money is evil.”

Money is just energy. It’s how you use it that can be evil. It certainly doesn’t have to be.

Nor does wanting more money, regardless of how much you’ve got.

Storing up potential energy for the future is a good thing. It’s even programmed into animals who hibernate.

When they are in “collection mode,” they don’t get angry at each other.

“Hey! Look at that greedy squirrel! Doesn’t he have ENOUGH nuts already? Sheesh! The nerve of some rodents!”

They are too busy getting as much as they can, to survive the long cold winter.

Humans are the same way. We have ZERO idea what future will be like. Yet we have this unique capacity to look out into the future and plan for what we think might happen.

So we store up as much “energy” as we can, which is our case, is money.

The more we have, the better we feel about being able to handle ANYTHING that comes our way.

There’s nothing wrong with this. Nothing evil about it. It’s only evil if you do evil things to get money.

So long as you get it “correctly,” there’s nothing to worry about.

How do you do that?

By providing value, real value to others. Just like selling popcorn at the movies.

Provide value that they’ll be happy to pay for.

The more you can do that, the more you’ll get paid.

Right now, you have an incredible amount of learning capacity. There are literally endless amounts of skills and methods you can discover that will help you deliver MORE value to others, and get paid MORE in the process.

The world is huge, and people’s needs are endless.

No matter WHAT you are capable of now, there’s people out there that need it. And are willing to pay for it.

And the more you increase what you’re capable of delivering, the more you’ll receive.