Category Archives: Conversational Skills

Infinity

What Business Are You In?

One of the biggest ideas in self development is the idea of a “secret.”

The concept that if we learn “one weird trick” we’ll be able to finally realize our dreams.

Guys that want to do better with girls want to know the one “secret pattern.”

People that want to lose weight want to learn the “one strange diet trick.”

One common story is what happens to lottery winners after they strike it rich.

Especially if they are the blue collar, paycheck-to-paycheck type.

Humans NEED to be motivated by two things.

Moving away from pain, and moving toward pleasure.

Everybody’s got their own unique mix, but without BOTH of these, it’s hard to feel “on purpose.”

And when lottery winners have all of their financial PAIN taken away, it feels great.

At first.

But once that new level of “happiness” feels “normal” they start to get into trouble.

A person without any real motivation AND a lot of money is a BAD combination.

This is why invariably, people who suddenly get a lot of money are almost always ruined.

Humans need incentives, both inside and outside.

Most people that get up at the crack of dawn don’t do so because they like it.

They do so because they feel they MUST.

Either because they’ve conditioned themselves that way, or they have an EXTERNAL set of incentives.

Their job or family requirements demand it, for example.

Most people that made their fortune didn’t have their sights set on money.

Or even the “thing” they were building.

They liked the deeper process.

Of being driven.

To get more, do more, be more, create more, build more.

Walter White, the fictional meth cook, famously said he wasn’t in the meth business, he was in the EMPIRE business.

A sudden bucket of money will DESTROY your drive to build your own empire.

How do you write a classic novel?

So far, nobody knows.

The process seems to be wait a hundred years, and see what books are still being read and enjoyed by various generations.

Consider the “secret” to your life the same.

You won’t really know until you’ve built it.

Then you can look back over your long and successful life and think:

“Oh yeah, now I get it…”

Life, empires, fortunes are not secrets to be “discovered” or “taught” or “revealed” on a mountain top.

They are the sum total of your thoughts, actions, and behaviors.

Once you’re on the right path, you’ll know.

You’ll feel driven, you’ll feel the need to keep moving forward no matter what.

And money will be a useful byproduct.

Learn More:

Wealth Tuning

Genius Ideas Baby

The Birdhouse Strategy

Humans feel best when we are on purpose.

When we’ve got a reason to get up.

When we are in the process of building or creating or moving towards something.

Going on roadtrips is fun for this reason.

Part of the fun of going on a trip is the time it takes to get there.

If we could transport ourselves, like on Star Trek, from our living room to a faraway beach, it wouldn’t be nearly the same.

Maybe because the time it takes to get to our vacation spot (wherever it is) helps us to slowly shift from everyday mindset into vacation mindset.

Sitting in a car or a plane for a few hours literally feels like we are “leaving behind” our normal selves, and moving toward our vacation selves.

Which puts a HUGE barrier to insulate our vacation experience.

But you don’t have to go on vacation to feel on purpose.

Just doing a project which takes a lot of work gives you the same feeling.

Slow growth toward a better future.

Even building a birdhouse (if you’re into birdhouses) is a pleasant experience.

Taking something in your mind, doing the daily tasks to slowly turn your idea into a physical thing.

And once you put it in your backyard, (and see the birds using it) you can remember the process of turning thought into thing.

For a birdhouse or a road trip, it’s easy to measure your progress.

If you’re doing something and you don’t have a way to measure your progress, it’s easy to pretend you’re improving but you’re really not.

One of the “meta” ways to measure your progress is how much money you make.

On one level, this sounds very selfish and almost evil.

But on another level, it makes perfect sense.

So long as you aren’t a bank robber, the money you GET represents the value you’ve PROVIDED to others.

To be sure, there are a LOT of ways you can provide value to others without expecting to get paid.

But if you look at the money you make as directly related to how much you provide to others, it’s a fantastic way to keep score.

It’s very easy to focus on.

Do whatever it takes to EARN more money, and use that as your gauge.

For many people, however, this is VERY frustrating.

It shouldn’t be.

It should feel just like going on vacation or building a birdhouse.

Some people are lucky, and they are born with this mindset.

For them, making money is natural, fun and easy.

And it can be for you as well.

Learn How:
Wealth Tuning

The Wasteland Of Their Mind

How To Spot The Cheaters

Once a friend of mine asked me to go with her and her sister to buy a car.

They didn’t want to get taken advantage of by a stereotypical car salesman.

Most people don’t like salespeople for this reason.

Especially ones that get paid primarily by commission.

The idea of getting paid pure commission is pretty terrifying for most people.

This is why there is so much turnover in sales.

There is a low entry for of a lot those jobs, since some places hire anybody.

They don’t have to worry about training or anything.

The companies themselves are leveraging the law of numbers.

They figure they’ll hire 100 people a month.

Due to Pareto (the 80-20 rule), 20% will make most of the sales.

The rest will generally quit after a couple of weeks.

The idea of a guaranteed salary, on the other hand, is VERY compelling.

But in a sense, all people “live” by pure commission.

Meaning the quality of the lives we live are based on how we interact with others.

To get “good” results, you need to interact with others in a “good” way.

Most of the time, there’s plenty of overlap.

A win-win type of outcome.

Both people are benefiting.

A “non-zero-sum-game.”

Zero sum games, on the other hand, are interactions where one person benefits at the expense of the other person.

Many argue that it’s a dog eat dog world.

And the name of the game is get whatever you can, and don’t get caught.

If you walked onto a car lot, you would expect to be “sold.”

But most of us don’t want to be sold or taken advantage of when we don’t expect.

Which makes us very vulnerable.

Especially to those who are always on the lookout for any advantage they can get.

To them, all’s fair in love and war.

And the best strategy with that mindset is to not advertise.

To come in under the radar.

Like the proverbial wolf in sheep’s clothing.

Luckily, if you do some linguistic drills, you’ll learn to spot those types a mile a way.

Even better, they’ll know that you know.

So they’ll keep their distance.

Learn How:

Weaponized Hypnosis

Split Open Their Mind

Awaken Their Most Powerful Instinct

One of things that causes us the most problems is having a “mismatch” of our instincts and our modern world.

This is pretty easy to understand when it comes to something like hunger.

An “instinct” that makes us hungry any time we see or smell food, even if we weren’t hungry before.

Back when it took a lot of effort (and sometimes a lot of risk) to GET food, this was a healthy trait.

It kept us always searching for food.

Imagine if we NEVER felt hungry, no matter what!

Sure, if you’d like to lose a few pounds, this may be a dream come true.

But what if you not only never got hungry, but food tasted totally neutral?

If you HAD to remember to EAT?

Most people wouldn’t think about it, and we’d all be rail thin.

Luckily, we HAVE a never-ending desire to eat.

And plenty of other instincts as well.

But like hunger, one of our big problems in modern society is we STILL have these ancient instincts.

Many of them are very subtle, and they operate outside of our conscious awareness.

When you are OVERLY obedient to your “hunger instinct” it’s pretty hard NOT to notice.

But many of these other instincts operate in a way so we NEVER realize what’s happening.

However, some people DO understand these ancient instincts, and understand them VERY WELL.

And they tend to USE them in clever ways.

One of our PRIMARY instincts is to follow somebody who “resonated” genuine authority.

Most of our instincts were put together long ago, when most of us were nomads.

And nomads need a leader.

Without a strong leader, any ancient tribe was lost.

But the lucky tribes who had a STRONG leader, they’d follow him or her to the ends of the Earth.

And just like our hunger instinct, all humans are hard wired to CRAVE the feeling of being near a naturally authoritative and strong leader.

Of course, we don’t need to follow crazy people out into the wilderness.

What would be a modern equivalent of a “tribe” of people following a strong “tribal” leader?

The inspirational coach who leads a team of misfits to a championship.

The genius business person to leads a company to greatness.

The mesmerizing storytellers (actors, directors, writers) who lead our emotions to wonderful places.

Why not YOU?

Learn More:

Cult Leader

Joining Of The Minds

Wordless Persuasion

I saw this really corny romantic comedy a while ago.

A guy and a girl were in love, and the guy died.

But after he died, he’d left behind a trail of “bread crumbs” for the girl (his grieving widow) to find.

The deal was they’d only known each other so long, and that was his way of showing her all the things important to him.

The movie was about her following all these clues, going to his hometown, learning all about his childhood, meeting his friends, etc.

Little too “romantic” for my tastes, but the idea is pretty cool.

To leave a bunch of bread crumbs for people to follow.

Especially if something is cool at the end.

Luckily, you don’t have to die to pull this off.

It’s actually pretty easy to do conversationally.

All you do is ask the right questions in the right order, and you can lead people to some pretty amazing feelings.

Feelings they’ve likely never felt before.

Most people are always talking about themselves.

Even when we are listening to others, part of our brains is trying to figure out what to say when they’re done talking.

If you can momentarily turn that part of your brain off, and just ask the right questions, you can lead people to some fantastic ideas.

The questions are easy to ask.

And they are really easy to answer, especially if you ask them right.

Done correctly, you can not only ask easy questions, but get them feeling fantastic without ever needing to say ANYTHING.

A lot of people feel a bit shy about talking about talking about their deepest desires.

But you can set it up so they don’t have to even talk.

And you can keep leading them deeper and deeper into the middle of their most secret fantasies.

All the while anchoring those wonderful feelings to whatever you want.

Your idea, your product, your service, or you.

Imagine all the ways you could use this!

Get Started:

Secret Agent Persuasion

Picking Up Girls on Skull Island

Chocolate Filled Love Cake

Imagine if you wanted to cook something.

But you had no idea how.

So you just poured a bunch of random stuff into a pan, and put it in the over.

Or imagine you were at a party, and you saw a piano.

You had an idea that you wanted to play and sing and hopefully impress a few people.

But you’d never taken singing lessons or piano lessons.

So you just started banging randomly on the keys, hoping a melody would come out.

This is like the “Shakespeare Monkey Island” theory.

That if you had an island of monkeys all randomly banging on typewriters, eventually one of them would produce “Hamlet” or some other Shakespearean play.

This is theoretically true, but it may take a few hundred thousand years.

Similarly, if you just kept banging randomly on the piano, you MIGHT come up with a decent tune.

But it would take a long time.

Sadly, this is how most guys TRY and create attraction in females.

They try things haphazardly, and hope for the best.

One of the common mistakes is to just “tell her how you feel” hoping she’ll magically reciprocate.

This would be like opening your oven and saying how much you’d like to eat a chocolate cake.

If there’s nothing in the oven it doesn’t matter how much you plead.

That cake ain’t gonna bake itself!

Luckily, you CAN create the right emotions in the right order in the right woman.

You just need a recipe.

And just like a chocolate cake, if you follow the instructions, you’ll get the right result.

Frosting and everything!

And once you get the “recipe” down, you can use it again and again.

Learn How:

Hypnotic Seduction

Approach Anxiety Brain

How To Turn Off Approach Anxiety

One of the cleverest ways we deceive ourselves is when we tell ourselves WHY we aren’t going to take action.

And guys who give themselves reasons for NOT approaching are super genius.

Our brains are very squirrely.

We’ll do anything to protect our egos.

One way we do this is when we lie to ourselves about WHY we aren’t going to approach.

She’s not my type.

She’s too flirty with too many guys.

She’s a little too fat/skinny/tall/short/whatever.

But in reality, the REAL REASON is always fear of social exposure, and social rejection.

The twin horrors the make up approach anxiety.

Walking over is like making a massive declaration.

I DECREE MY INTEREST FOR THIS FEMALE!

And then you walk over, and EVERYBODY is watching you.

There’s a scene from an old Steve Martin movie, “The Lonely Guy.”

He walks into a restaurant ALONE, and as soon as he tells the hostess this, everybody stops and stares.

The entire restaurant watches as he walks in, ALONE, and sits.

That’s what walking across any space toward a female FEELS LIKE.

Like the whole world is watching your performance.

Now, anybody can give “advice” about what to do.

Like “Just don’t care about the outcome.”

Or “rejection is better than regret.”

Unfortunately, the part of our brain that comes up with feelings like fear and anxiety can’t be reasoned with.

That would be like telling a person on a diet to just “not be hungry.”

If it were easy to “not be hungry” then 2/3’s of developed countries wouldn’t be overweight.

So you can’t really just “not be afraid.”

At least through sheer willpower and conscious thought.

But you CAN through careful reprogramming.

You CAN reprogram yourself, if you do so a little bit at a time.

And before long, it really is EASY to “not care.”

And that means that approaching cute girls ANYWHERE can be FUN, like it’s supposed to be.

So fun that you’ll ONLY WANT numbers from girls who are interesting enough, smart enough or WHATEVER enough for you tastes.

Learn How:

Zero Fear Game

Unlock Your Power

Essential Variable Of Successful Seduction

What’s the secret line to say to any girl and make her fall in love with you?

That is the most common desire that most guys have.

Unfortunately, it’s the wrong question.

It would be like walking into a bakery, and asking about your upcoming birthday party.

“What is the BEST icing to put on the cake to make sure everybody likes the cake?”

If you asked that question, the baker would laugh and ask you what you meant.

Similarly, what you SAY to a girl is not nearly as important as what YOU are under the words.

Think about what words are. A way to describe the thoughts in our mind.

People “judge us” (whether we like it or not) based on WHO we are.

Our thoughts and the words we describe them with give them an IDEA of who we are.

Think of it this way.

Imagine there WAS some kind of “pick up line” that had been created by seduction scientists in their seduction lab.

And imagine a few hundred different guys went out to say this “magic” pick up line.

Some of the guys were nervous and sweaty.

Other guys were confident and laid back.

Some guys had horrible breath.

Other guys couldn’t make eye contact to save their lives.

If you looked at all the results, and you did a scientific analysis, you would come to the conclusion that the words are the LEAST important.

Since that was the ONE THING that all the guys shared, but they got different results.

So the actual WORDS you say to her aren’t the most important thing.

Or they don’t NEED to be.

Or they are important but only AFTER you get the “basics down.”

What are the basics?

A certain attitude, that you CANNOT fake.

One that radiates a POWERFUL MESSAGE to every girl you interact with, verbally or not.

One that says, “there are plenty of girls, and I’m talking to you to see if you are interesting enough for me.”

With this UNDERLYING attitude, that you radiate with your energy (body language, eye contact, movements, gestures, etc), what you say isn’t nearly as important.

Of course, if you decide AFTER you talk to her long enough, that she IS qualified, you CAN use language technology.

But it won’t be to IMPRESS her.

It will be to ENJOY her.

How do you get this underlying attitude?

Like This:
Zero Fear Game

Easy Peasy

Become The Naturally Attractive Man

What turns a woman on more than anything?

It’s not something she knows, or can anticipate.

Think of a woman’s desire as you would your own hunger.

Sure, you can sit there and list all the foods you want.

But since hunger is an instinct that responds to our environment, and not our conscious brains, it gets turned on whether we like it or not.

Food could be the last thing on our mind, but if we smell or see something good, our hunger takes over.

Whatever we were thinking of is GONE, and all we want to do is eat.

This is the way a female responds to a naturally attractive man.

Sure, she and her friends can sit around and play pretend.

They can list out the qualities they THINK they want.

But when a naturally attractive man shows up, she’ll want him just as much as YOU want that food that suddenly came out of nowhere.

The million dollar question:

How do you become the naturally attractive man?

Is it money? Clothing? The right cologne? The right combination of pick up lines?

Luckily, it is none of these.

Now, this is going to sound like the oldest advice in the book, but stick with me.

That naturally attractive male quality that makes women UNABLE to get their minds off him is CONFIDENCE.

Now, what is confidence?

It’s not what most people think.

Confidence is the absolutely ABSENCE of any anxiety or worry.

Imagine a guy sees a girl.

She’s physically attractive, but to a naturally attractive, and FEARLESS man, that’s not enough.

Since pretty girls are a dime a dozen.

So he talks to her.

And his attitude is “I like you so far, but my attraction to you is always conditional on your behavior, intelligence, and anything else I come up with.”

This cannot be faked.

But if you HAVE this attitude, NOTHIGN else will matter.

Wanna know why women are so angry today?

They are hard wired to FOLLOW a man, but not just any man.

They want a guy who is naturally confident in his own skin.

Not a guy that is worried about what to do, or say, or trying hard to please her.

They guy that can at the same time, express an interest in her AND radiate the “take it or leave it” attitude.

How do you BECOME that guy?

Here’s How:

Zero Fear Game

Embrace The Unknown

Powerful One Two Charismatic Punch

Often there is a HUGE chasm between the thoughts and ideas in our heads, and the words that come out of our mouths.

One of the mainstays of a comedy is some character that says something really goofy, gets embarrassed, and then says, “That didn’t come out right…”

Just that we understand that’s funny means it’s a common human experience.

Having clear ideas in mind, but they come out as jumbled up nonsense.

Most of the time, though, we tend to overlook the main issue.

We think if we ONLY had the words, it would be easy.

But when it comes to human communication, words are just the icing on the cake.

How we express those ideas inside our heads takes a LOT MORE than just words.

And most of the time, the words themselves are not the most important part.

Meaning if you have an “understandable enough” set of words, but the underlying energy is positive, attractive and charismatic, you’re good to go.

You might even consider that the feeling of “not having the right words” to be an EFFECT rather than a cause.

Consider that the cause might be the not having the right “frame” to speak from.

As humans tend to do, we often misunderstand the relationship between cause and effect.

It’s easy to get them backward.

But here’s the cool part.

If you take the time to build up the “frame” (which contains all the positive attractive energy) the words can take care of themselves.

Even better, when you combine the right “frame” WITH the right words, you can be unstoppable.

Learn How:

Stop Manipulation