Category Archives: How To Start Conversations With Girls

How To Keep Conversations Going With Girls

Just Go With The Flow

Practice Makes Perfect

What do you say to a girl after you’ve introduced yourself? That’s a question most guys think they need to answer BEFORE they walk over there. But that’s kind of putting the cart before the horse. It assumes that you want to talk to her after you introduce yourself. It assumes she wants to talk to YOU after you introduce yourself.

Believe it or not, neither of these are a given. So there’s really no point in trying to come up with a million and one conversational topics before you go over there.

However, if you need some rules to keep handy, here’s a few. The first thing you should do is simply pace the environment, and your activity.

If you made eye contact with her a couple times before you approach (which is a good idea), just mention that when you walk over.

“Hi, I noticed you from over there, and I was interested in meeting you. My name’s George.”

Then see how she responds. If she looks likes you’re intruding, or she’s shocked, or she looks scared, don’t worry. There’s plenty of girls. However if she smiles (which is pretty likely if you were trading EC before you walked over) just say something else about the environment.

This can be anything neutral that is absolutely true. It sure is bright in here. The music is pretty loud. The drinks here are delicious. (This is called an ice breaker, BTW, it’s only designed to make you and her feel more comfortable).

Then, see how she responds to that. If she smiling and looking at you with her face AND her body, keep going. If not, bail, and go somewhere else.

After that, just use your imagination.

Don’t know what to say?

Here’s the best way to think of things. Just start approaching girls. Start today. Then, later on, keep a journal of what happened. Just write down things you COULD have said or done that might have made things go better.

If you did this once a day, in a few weeks you’d have ZERO PROBLEMS coming up with what to say.

The problem with most guys is they treat talking to girls like it’s some kind of intellectual exercise.

It’s not. It’s just like sports. You’ve got to practice, fall on your face, gain some experience, and then learn from experience. That’s really the only way to get better.

If you are committed to doing this, you’ll soon have ZERO anxieties when it comes to talking to girls. You’ll not only have plenty of say, but you’ll have lots of experience talking to girls that turn out to be not so interesting.

Which means you can simply refine your criteria for your dream girl, and keep looking for her.

How To Practice Approaching

To Approach Easily, Get Your Brain Out Of The Way

Retrain Your Thinker

Your brain is incredibly powerful. The vast computing power between your ears is not even close to being fully understood. Despite what Google and other companies say about AI, it’s a long, long ways off from what you can do.

Sure, they can build these pretty impressive “Turing Machines,” that pretend to be intelligent. And they certainly respond to situations “in the moment,” but they’ve got nothing on your squishy gray matter.

You can use your brain to plan, to look into the future, to balance all kinds of potential choice that you are considering now, and how they may wind up in the any time out in front of you.

You can check back into your vast collection of memories to gauge how a situation may turn out. To the extent you can override your instincts with your rational mind, you can create magic. Generate massive wealth. Build a life that will be remembered for generations.

On the other hand, when see a cute girl you’d like to talk to, your brain can be your worst enemy.


Because all those same miracles of computational magic that help you re-invent relativity will also talk you out of approaching her.

The same genius mind that you can use to creatively solve unlimited problems will come up with about a thousand different nightmare scenarios within a couple microseconds. This, of course, will make walking over there and talking to that girl seem as dangerous as jumping into the tiger cage at the zoo.

With about a thousand pounds of steaks duct taped all over you.

What’s the answer? Train yourself to take action, BEFORE your brain starts to overheat.

How do you do that?

Same way you practice every other skill. By practicing that skill.

Good news is that practicing taking action doesn’t mean you’ve got just grab your balls and talk to hot girls all the time. (Unless of course you want to.)

All you’ve got to do is train your brain to respond to any desire IMMEDIATELY with some kind of action.

This is not as simple as it sounds. Human are hard wired to think. To contemplate. To wonder.

Which means you’ll need to concentrate on not concentrating.

Give yourself at least 30 minutes a day, if you can. Go somewhere where there’s a lot of interesting things.

The mall, the supermarket, a club with a bunch of people. Your job during this training drill is to simply walk around, and notice all the things around you.

AS SOON AS you see something (person, object, painting, whatever) interesting, IMMEDIATELY walk toward it. Don’t hesitate. Don’t think. Don’t wonder if you might get in trouble. Don’t worry what other people will think. 

What you’re doing is training in a conditioned response into your brain. Desire is to be followed by action.

Once you do this for a while, you’re ready to practice with girls.

If you see ANY GIRL you think is cute, get up and walk towards her. At this point, you don’t have to talk to her, or interact with her. Just walk over there. Pass her on the way to the restroom. Look at something near where she’s standing at the grocery store.

Don’t linger and wait for her to open you or anything. Just train your mind. Desire is followed by action.

Do this enough, and pretty soon it will be easy to walk up and talk to girls as soon as you see a cute one.

How To Start A Conversation With A Girl

She'll Only Follow You If You Lead

Go First And See If She Follows

One of the most crucial things to understand about being a guy is that guys go first.

Now, this of course isn’t always true. If you’re at work, in the military, anywhere professionally, and your not top on the totem pole, you’re going to following orders and following in general. Sometimes men, sometimes women.

But in the world of romance, especially in the early days, you’ve got to go first. With pretty much everything.

Now, this is tough. It’s easy to go overboard. If you walk up to some stranger and tell her you love her, she’ll call the cops.

And if you’re on a first or second date and you open the emotional floodgates, she’ll run away screaming.

So on the one side, you’ve got to go first, just so show her it’s safe. Then you’ve got to wait and let her catch up.

The metaphor of walking down an uncertain trail in the woods is good. You lead, but not by very far. If it’s safe, you walk side by side. When it’s dangerous, you go first, but just enough so she doesn’t get scared. Don’t leave her behind. Always make sure she’s following close behind.

How does this translate into the dating world?

You approach her. You start talking to her. If you want to know something about her that may be uncomfortable, you reveal yours first.

Now, many “gurus” will disagree with this. They’ll say all girls are super defensive and will need to have their “shields” broken through with all kinds of slippery mind games and pick up gambits.

Sure, if you approach a super model who’s getting hit on by millionaire pro athletes all the time, you may indeed need to step up your game.

But if you’re a normal guy, looking to meet a normal girl, you don’t really need too many tricks.

If you see her across the room, and she sees you seeing her, she knows you like her. And if she looks at you a couple of times, (without that look of fear in her eyes) she WANTS you to go and talk to her.

She’s not going to walk to you.

When you walk over, introduce your name first. Say things that are easy for her to respond to. Save the “did you see those two girls fighting outside” opener for the club girls.

Reveal your interests, then ask about hers. If she seems to like talking to you, keep going.

Be honest with her. Tell you enjoyed talking to her, you’ve got to go, but you’d like to continue the conversation later. 

Exchange numbers by getting her to call her phone from your phone.

Then bounce.

Always keep the trail metaphor in mind. You go first, and then wait for her to follow. So long as she follows, you’re good. 

If she doesn’t? 

No big deal. There’s more where she came from.

Why You Should Be A Qualifier Of Women

Have A List And Stick To It

Make Her Pass Your Tests

When a guy is checking out a girl, he’s making a LOT of assumptions about her.

Plenty of guys only need a picture of a girl to literally fall in love with her.

Now, think about what’s going on for this to happen. They’re basically assuming all kinds of things about her personality, her likes, dislikes, beliefs, etc.

All from her pretty face and smoking body. All of which are highly made up to accentuate the “good” parts, and minimize or hide the “bad” parts.

If you’ve ever had the “let down” experience of seeing a favorite actor or actress in an interview, or give a speech during an awards ceremony, this is why.

We see them up on the screen, and imagine their characters (whose words are written by others and actions dictated by others) and actually think that’s really them, on some level.

Then when they’re in an interview, and sound nervous, super shy, or just plain dumb, it’s kind of a let down.

That’s what will happen when you walk over to that girl, imagining that she’s a super perfect princess.

And from her standpoint, it seems really creepy.

Think about it this way. Imagine some guy grabbed you off the street, and told you he had a job at a big company, and he KNEW you were perfect for the job.

He didn’t want to know your skills, your background, your education. He just told you he’d pay you alot, and he KNEW you’d be a PERFECT MATCH for the company.

On top of that, he seemed to be totally desperate to hire you.

Would you take the job? Unless you were one meal away from dying of starvation, probably not.

After all, what kind of job and what kind of company doesn’t care about your skills?

To even further expand this mind experiment, imagine that you’d just spend four years in school, working on a degree you thought was really important.

And this crazy hiring guy didn’t seem to care.

How would THAT make you feel?

This is precisely how girls feel when you walk up making all kinds of assumptions about her based ONLY on her looks.

Sure, a girl needs to look good. There’s no reason to interact (if you’re looking for a relationship of some sort) unless you’re physically attracted.

But don’t let that be your only reason.

You need to talk to her. Find out what she’s like. Figure you need at least FIVE things that must be true about any girl you date.

And only ONE of them can be her looks.

What would the other four be?

If you don’t have a list, you should have one. A good solid list of things about her that need to be true.

Then when you see a cutie, you KNOW she’s only 1/5 of the way there. The rest you need to find out via regular, old fashioned conversation.

This will not only make her easier to talk to, but YOU will be much more attractive.

Essential Free Mind Tools

Girl Getting Confidence Tricks

Extreme Confidence With Women

Obliterate All Fear

Here’s a trick that will blast your self confidence with girls through the roof.

However, you MUST understand one thing. The girls you use this “trick” on are NOT girls you are going to try and pick up.

They are only “practice” girls.

This means when you see a girl for the first time, and you’ve exchanged some IOI’s, you’ve got to decide BEFORE you go over there which category she’s in, and STICK to that decision.

Most guys CANNOT do this. They see a girl, and go over there and try anything and everything to get as far as they can, and either get her number, and leave (usually because SHE says she’s got to go or something) or they get blown out. (Which is when SHE says she’s got to go or something).

However, if you follow this strategy, you WILL see positive results.

So, assume you see a girl, and you decide she’s “practice.” Meaning you WILL NOT ask for her contact information or even suggest getting together. You won’t even tell her that you’re not going to ask for her number.

This is what you do.

You walk over and break the ice. Say something that paces the situation. Say you noticed her, you noticed something she did (actually say the thing she did) and then tell her you wanted to find out  more about her, because she seemed interesting.

(All of this is absolutely true, by the way.)

Then ask her name. Ask what she does. Ask open ended questions about anything she seems willing to tell you about. The idea, the goal, the intention, the mission, is to get her to smile while she’s talking to you about things she likes.

Once you get a few smiles, say thanks, and then LEAVE.

Don’t hesitate. Don’t linger. Don’t wait around for her to tell you what a genius alpha male you are or how clever you are.


Remember, this is ONLY a confidence building exercise.

If you do this two or three times a week, your self confidence around women will SOAR.

But ONLY if you stick to the plan. The ENTIRE plan.


What if she asks for YOUR number?


Say something like, “Wow, I’m really flattered, but I’m not ready for a relationship or dating or anything right now.”

Right now, of course, meaning that very moment. You may be ready in another hour or so with another girl, but DO NOT tell her than.

This will build up a HUGE and POWERFUL belief in your brain that says this:

“Girls like me. Girls like talking to me. Girls want to talk to me more than I want to talk to them. Girls want me to stick around after I talk to them. Girls actually try to chase me.”

Do this a few times, and when you see a girl that’s NOT practice, it will be much, much easier.

How To Skyrocket Your Attraction

Get Everybody On Your Johnson

How To Make All The Girls Want You

Most guys have several fears about approaching a girl and getting rejected.

To be sure, it’s that moment where she says “no” that’s pretty painful.

It’s also pretty painful, as most guys imagine everybody else is watching them.

One more reason it sucks is because most guys have been told or taught that if you try and number close every girl in the joint, you’ll be seen as some player who’s only after short term flings.

Now if you ARE only after short term flings, then that’s not a big deal.

But here’s something to consider. People ARE watching you, especially girls. And in that first moment you walk up to a girl, all the other girls who’ve got you on their radar (which is usually a lot more than you think) are thinking the same thing:

“Why’s he talking to HER?”

As I’m sure you know, girls are terribly competitive. Even if they have ZERO intentions of giving our their number, they STILL don’t like it when you approach somebody else and not them.

This is pretty fun to see when you’re actually looking for it. To see it in action, try this out:

Go somewhere where you can sit and watch people walking by. Then wait until there’re a couple of girls walking toward you, that are a good distance apart. Like maybe opposite sides of the street or something.

Then OBVIOUSLY check out one of them, long enough for the other one to notice (which won’t take long).

Then as soon as you STOP checking out girl A, quickly look at girl B on the sly. She’ll almost ALWAYS be staring at girl A, wondering why you were checking her out.

Bottom line, even if you aren’t a player, are good looking, or have any bling to speak of, girls will STILL get jealous when you talk to other girls instead of them.

But this will be significantly REDUCED if you’re going up and getting shot down all the time.

So here’s a really good way to increase your charisma, magnetism and attraction. Go and talk to a few girls, but DON’T try to close them. Your ONLY goal is to get them to smile.

As soon as you get a genuine smile or laugh, EJECT. Be nice, say nice talking to you, whatever, but LEAVE while they still have that smile on their face.

If you do this with three or four girls, separated out by twenty minutes or so, the other girls in the place will be going CRAZY.

So long as you’re not in some super loud nightclub packed wall to wall like sardines, this will work pretty good.

Then after you’ve had your fun, go and close somebody for real. 

To give you even more power, check this out:

Frame Control

The Exchange Model Of Seduction

Exchange Emotions Instead of Beg For Them

Get Your Mind Right!

There’s one problem that’s pretty common (among guys) when getting out and interacting with females. An overestimation of HER worth, and an underestimation of YOUR worth.

The thing to understand about ALL human interactions they are based on exchange.

Sure, when we’re kids and in a family, we just get what we need without really having to give anything back.

But once we grow up and put on our big boy pants, that crap needs to get tossed out the window.

Nobody’s going to give you anything just because you think you deserve it.

Especially girls, girls who have options (which is the kind of girls you SHOULD be going after, but that’s another argument completely.)

In order for any girl worth her salt to spend any time with you, she’s got to be getting something out of the deal.

She needs to benefit just much as you are benefiting.

Granted, this all happens on a subconscious level, but it’s still there.

If you don’t create those emotions and feelings in her that she wants from you, she’s not going to give you those emotions and feelings you want from her.

Luckily, this is pretty automatic. Both men and women are hard wired to reciprocate when we get out buttons pushed in the right way.

The only trouble comes when you assume she’s got more to offer you than you’ve got to offer her.

To make it worse,  if you walk to her with an emotional “trade deficit” AND an expectation that she SHOULD feel a certain way, it’s going to make it even harder.

Both of these problems go hand in hand. Which means once you get rid of one, you’ll usually get rid of the other.

How do you do this?

First, understand how attraction works. We usually need to feel attraction first, before we are willing to create attraction in others, even subconsciously.

No girl is going to be sweet and feminine and affectionate with you unless she ALREADY feels those feelings for you.

The next step is to stop overestimating her value, AND to stop underestimating your own value.

Don’t walk over there with a puffed up chest thinking your king Alpha of the Planet, but DO have an honest appreciation for your strong points.

Then just go over and talk to her.

See it as a discovery process. Show her what you’ve got, and see what she’s got.

If you’re both feeling it, good job. If not, it’s NOBODY’S fault. Nobody’s cheating anybody. Nobody is manipulating anybody. Nobody’s dissing anybody.

Think of it like setting up a booth at your local flea market. Do you get super pissed when people wander by without buying anything? Nope. You just hang until you see people that ARE interested in what you’ve got.

Luckily, for most guys, that only means finding ONE girl when it comes to romance.

So get out there and mingle until you find her.

This will help:

Frame Control

How To Turn Her On

Talk Your Way Into Her Heart

How To Talk Girls Into Attraction

Many decades ago, Dale Carnegie taught the easiest way to talk to people is to talk about the thing that we all love talking about.


So if you’re wanting to walk up and talk to pretty girls, in a way that will get them REALLY interested in you, this is a very useful bit of information.

Of course, HOW you do this will impact how well it works.

If you walk up to some gorgeous girl and say, “Wow, you’re gorgeous!”

You won’t get very far. One because she either hears this all the time, or she KNOWS this since everywhere she goes guys are staring at her with those unmistakable eyes of lust.

So you’re not really telling her anything new, and you’re not really showing any insight to who she is.

Believe it or not, super gorgeous girls would really like guys to like them for something OTHER than their looks.

How do we know this?

Because they talk. If gorgeous girls WERE just content to show up and be beautiful, they would never say anything. They’d just sit there and be happy to have guys stare at their boobs (or whatever).

But since they actually open their mouths, and actual words come out that describe the actual ideas in their heads, they would actually like somebody to take an interest in something BESIDES their boobs.

Hang on, we’re just getting started.

You can’t ask her opinion on something, and then tell her how awesome she is for having that opinion.

That’s too easy. She doesn’t want to be surrounded by spineless yes men.

You’ve got to do a little bit more work.

So, what do you talk about? Talk about her plans, her dreams, her ideas about complicated things (things YOU think are complicated, not things you think she thinks are complicated).

Get her to expand on that. See past her boobs and her surface structure language.

Find things deep beneath the surface that is really worth talking about.

Think of the conversation as a treasure hunt. Look for complicated ideas, opinions, plans and dreams way beneath the surface that you can find some overlap with your own deep structure.

That’s that DEEP connection that everybody is looking for.

But here’s the bad news. Most people don’t have much below the surface. Most people (guys and girls) are really filled with useless fluff.

This means you’ll need to talk to a lot of goofs before you find somebody worth your time.

But this realization in and of itself will have a pretty cool side effect.

When you look out into a sea of beautiful girls, you’ll realize that most of them really WON’T be worth your time. You’ll see it as a sorting process, rather than a horribly scary field of unending rejection land mines.

Which will make it much easier to talk to, qualify and more importantly, DISQUALIFY gorgeous girls.

Since this is something most guys know NOTHING about, you will have a HUGE advantage, and will be much, much more attractive.

This will help:

Frame Control

Mind Tricks To Destroy Approach Anxiety

Give Her An Opportunity, Don't Ask For Her To Accept You

Ancient Secrets For Modern Seduction

In ancient societies, there were two ways to go to war with neighboring tribes.

One was the old fashioned way, where you show up with a bunch of guys and clubs and start swinging.

Even if you “win” this is pretty dangerous. You can lose a lot of good guys this way. That’s why  most ancient tribes, and even certain primates, rarely have a full on battle. 

They usually have “raiding parties” where they swoop in while everybody is sleeping, bash a few guys, take a bunch of stuff, and then leave before anybody knows what’s up.

In other ancient societies, they have a much more advanced form of warfare. One tribe will show up to another tribe with a bunch of gifts.

It’s kind of rude to not accept a bunch of gifts, since it usually leads to old school fighting. So the receiving tribe is pretty much forced to accept the gifts.

Which puts them on a lower standing from a social status position. When you show up and DEMAND gifts, that’s one thing. But when you show up unexpected and GIVE gifts, it’s much more powerful.

We humans do this all the time. We do an unasked for “favor,” and then act like they are in our debt. You do this, and this is done to you.

But there’s a pretty sneaky way you can use this to destroy any approach anxiety.


Just see yourself as giving her the opportunity to get to know you. Now, this ONLY works on getting rid of that initial approach anxiety. It’s not a sure fire pick up method, and you STILL have to talk to her in a way that fires up her emotions.

But if you are too nervous to approach her, then none of that will matter anyway.

Most guys, when they approach, act like they are asking for something. Meaning a guy walks up to a girl, and they think they can get “rejected.”

Even thinking that “rejection” is even possible presumes that she’s got more power than you. She has the power to accept you, and she has the power to reject you.

But this feeling will lessen considerably when you imagine you’re giving her an opportunity.

Which you are. Again, you are NOT imagining that you’re God’s gift to women, or expecting anything from her.

But if you just see it from an objective standpoint, a guy talking to a girl, with BOTH of them thinking that maybe it will turn into something more, it will be a lot easier.

Think about it from her perspective. Unless you are going to walk over with your ding-dong in your hand, or if you smell like you just crawled out of a dumpster, she’s not going to be put off if you’re just a normal guy.

Even if nothing happens, she’s going to be GLAD that you approached her. She’s going to feel GOOD for having been approached.

So ditch the “accept-reject” continuum. Think if it as giving her the gift of opportunity.

To make it even easier, check this out:

Frame Control

Secrets Of Seduction You’ll Never Learn From Gurus

What's This Guy Know That You Don't?

Inside Secrets Of Natural Game

Here’s a secret the dating gurus will NEVER tell you.

What’s the most important thing you need when learning about attracting and dating the girls of your dreams?

Hint: It’s not found in a book, a seminar or a DVD home study course.

I think you already know that it’s EXPERIENCE.

The more experience you have, the better you’ll do. Every single time you walk into an unfamiliar situation your brain quickly scans your history.

Then based on your behaviors in the past, and how well you did (or didn’t do) you’ll come up with both a “feeling” and a strategy for what to do.

Now, some guys walk up to hundreds of women, and they don’t succeed with ANY of them.


Perhaps because they don’t vary their approach. They don’t try different things.

Here’s the secret of success in ANY area of life.


This is Guaranteed By The Goddess Herself

Guaranteed Success In Anything

Figure out what you want. Try something. Did you get closer? Do more of that. Did you get further away? Do something different.

This works with investing, with playing sports, with music, and with interpersonal relationships with gorgeous girls you’d like in between the sheets.

Now, you certainly CAN augment your success by REFERRING to any number of available learning material out there. But only IN BETWEEN real world experiences.

The problem is many guys tend to SUBSTITUTE learning and studying game for practicing game.

Consider two guys.

One guy knows absolutely NOTHING about game. But he is an approach machine. He remembers everything, and keeps improving his skills based only on his experience.

Guy number two has a PhD in game. But he never leaves the forums, and is always spouting off about the latest ninja technique. Or worse, he’s busily picking apart every other guy’s attempts to maintain his internet credibility and dominance.

Which guy do you think is going to get the best results?

Guy number one, of course.

Naturally, if you combine the best of both worlds, real world practice based on theoretical after the fact break down, you’ll be a super ninja seducer in no time.

One thing that will make you even better is taking on the mental attitude of somebody who can walk into any crowd and literally OWN the room.

It takes some mental practice, and some inner work, but it’s well worth it.

Learn How:

Frame Control