Category Archives: Confidence

Are You A Sheep?

How To Spin The Other Direction

One time I went to a Vietnamese restaurant with a Vietnamese friend of mine.

We were both looking over the menu, and we had both decided on the same thing.

It was in Vietnamese, so he had to explain everything to me.

He ordered, and then I ordered.

The waitress looked at me, deadpan, and said, “copycat.”

My friend thought it was the funniest thing.

We kept going back to that restaurant because the food was delicious.

But he always referred to it as the “copycat” place.

Humans are, after all, primates.

And the expression, “Monkey see, monkey do,” is pretty applicable to us humans.

Once in high school my neighbor and I were discussing how much people were “sheep.”

They teacher had done teaching, we’d all finished out in-class assignment, and we were all just sitting around waiting for the bell to ring.

Like animals in a cage waiting for instructions at the zoo or something.

My buddy and I decided to be “rebels.” To stand up and leave a minute before the bell rang.

We felt like we were doing some kind of heroic act of disobedience or something. (high school idiots lol!)

But when we stood up in defiance, everybody copied us. Like it was no big deal.

As we shuffled out, the teacher looked at the clock, confused.

Bottom line is that humans copy each other MUCH MORE than we realize, or would like to admit.

But here’s a way that EVERYBODY is copying YOU that maybe you haven’t thought of yet.

How you see yourself.

If you think you’re an idiot, guess what?

You’ll act like an idiot, and everybody will COPY your own JUDGMENT of yourself.

If you REALLY THINK you’re an awesome person with a lot to offer, people will copy THAT judgment about yourself as well.

Most people think get it backwards.

They think OTHERS judge us FIRST, and then we RESPOND to that.

But that is impossible.

How can they possible judge you just by looking at you?

They need help. Hints. Clues. Evidence.

Where do they get that from?

Your own opinion of yourself.

Change THAT, and you’ll change everything else.

Naturally, this isn’t as easy as changing your shirt or your shoes.

There IS a pretty tight feedback loop.

You, them, you, them etc.

But once you get started, and KEEP WORKING ON YOURSELF, you’ll slowly tip that feedback loop in the other direction.

You’ll think genuinely positive things about yourself. That will change your behavior. That will change how others perceive you. Which will AMPLIFY your own positive opinion about yourself.

When you get into THAT rhythm, (and KEEP it going) life is pretty good.

Learn How:

Emotional Freedom

Is All Pasta The Same?

How To Skyrocket Your Magnetism

Once I had a deep discussion with a buddy of mine.

Why do tacos cost more than burritos?

It’s the same stuff, just put together differently.

We concluded that tacos take more labor per weight than burritos, so they cost a little bit more.

If you happen to go down to your grocery store, take a look at all the different kinds of pasta.

Not the whole dish, the dry pasta that you need to boil and mix with other stuff.

Most people can name a couple off the top of their head.

Spaghetti, ravioli, lasagna, etc.

But what’s really different about it? Same stuff, just different shapes.

Yet just a slight change in shape can make a dramatic effect on the outcome.

If all you ate was spaghetti, it would get pretty boring. But when you start to play around with the different dry pasta, you’ll probably start playing around with different sauces.

Pretty soon you can come up with some interesting and delicious combinations.

Once upon a time there was this “belief” that a human couldn’t run a mile in under four minutes.

But as soon as the first guy proved it was possible, a whole bunch of other guys started doing it.

It’s funny how our limitations keep us locked up in more ways than one.

It’s also pretty interesting that once you make very tiny changes, they can lead to dramatic results.

Once you realize it’s OK to do something different, you’ll start doing other things differently.

And when you start trying other things differently, you’ll start getting different results. Better results. Which will hopefully motivate you to try even MORE things differently.

Proving to yourself that those limitations are really just imaginary nonsense.

One of the simplest ways to change the way you do things is change the way you talk.

Just like spaghetti and burritos, by changing the STRUCTURE of your language, rather than the CONTENT, you’ll start to have some amazing impacts on others.

No need to reinvent yourself. No need to go out and get a bunch of “experiences” just to seem more interesting.

By changing HOW you talk, not WHAT you talk about, you can become more magnetic, more charismatic, and much more effective.

Think of two restaurants. One that sells only spaghetti. And one that sells all KINDS of pasta.

Which would you rather eat at?

Whether you want to build a relationship, enhance an existing one, make more money, get a better job, all you need to do is change HOW you communicate rather than worrying about the CONTENT of your communication.

This means that what’s inside your head, right here, right now, is sufficient. Just figure out to present it in the best way, and you’re set.

Get Started:

Covert Hypnosis

Can't Step In The Same River Twice

How Long Do These Take To Learn?

When you were a little kid, learning was easy.

Since it happened automatically, you didn’t have to think about it.

You just kept trying to do something until you could do it.

This is how all humans learned, until very recently.

When we try this as adults, it’s called “modeling.”

Meaning we see somebody doing something we’d like to do, and then try and copy them.

Unfortunately, it’s not always so easy.

Because not only do you have to DO what they do, you also have to NOT DO what they DON’T do.

This is the missing ingredient if you’ve been trying to “learn” from gurus who promise to “show you step by step to get what I’ve done.”

Now sometimes, this is easy. If you’re copying somebody’s cake-baking technique, for example.

Because when YOU operate on the ingredients, they will respond the same way they do when THEY operate on the ingredients.

It doesn’t matter WHO puts the batter in the oven. So long a the batter is prepared the same way, and the oven is the right temperature, you’ll get the same cake.

But often times we’re copying people who have been INTERACTING with a certain environment. And unless YOU are interacting in the same environment in the same way, you’ll get a different result.

Let’s say you wanted to study acting. And you copied the precise movements speech patterns of the most famous stage actors around.

So much so you were EXACTLY the same.

But unless you could reproduce the same audience, with the same expectations, you’ll get a different result.

It’s sort like that old saying, “You can’t step in the same river twice.”

Only it’s WAY more complicated. No matter how much you model somebody, you’ll ALWAYS be operating within a slightly different environment.

Does this mean modeling is useless? Not at all.

It just means that you need to model a meta-skill, rather than surface skill.

What does this mean?

Let’s say you memorized a boxing match from Mike Tyson. You copied his EXACT punches, at the EXACT time.

Obviously, this would NEVER work. Because all the punches and blocks would be based SOLELY on what the other guy was doing.

Paying attention to feedback is the missing ingredient.

No matter HOW WELL you copy some “step by step” procedure, if you don’t pay attention to feedback, AND adjust accordingly, you’re doomed.

But paying attention to feedback is easy. It’s natural. It’s how you learned to walk. If you leaned forward too much, you’d fall on your face. And your inherent feedback-response mechanism told you to not lean forward so much next time.

So long as you are ALWAYS open to feedback, and you are willing to adjust, you’ll always get better.

And then you’ll learn the secret about things like learning Covert Hypnosis.

You’ll NEVER FINISH learning. Because you can always get better based on the feedback you get.

Compared to others, who sit in a seminar and listen, or read a book and think they are DONE.

YOU will always be improving, learning and getting better.

Get Started:

Covert Hypnosis

Do The Thing Get The Confidence

Confidence Comes Later

Fortune Favors The Brave

​I remember once in fourth grade, we had this contest.

Some firefighters were coming to talk to us about fire safety. We had to draw some kind of poster about fire safety, and the firefighters were going to choose a winner.

I came up with a goofy rhyme and made up some goofy pictures to go along with it.

I came in second place.

When they held my poster up, and were reading the back to see whose it was, my friend got excited before I did.

I guess I thought it was some kind of mistake or something.

Then when I heard my name, I finally believed it.

When I made the poster, I didn’t think I’d win. I didn’t even believe when I saw it. I had to see it AND hear it before I believed it.

I once had a friend from Missouri. The “Show Me” state.

I asked him why it was called the “Show Me” state.

He said people from there are like that. They won’t believe anything unless you “show them.”

(Apologies if you’re from Missouri!)

Most of us live our lives like that. We won’t believe anything unless we see proof. Unless we see it researched and proven and written about in official scientific journals.

When we hear something we don’t like, that makes us feel “uncomfortable,” we ask, “Is there any proof?”

Yet we live our whole lives with all kinds of false beliefs in our minds. Yet we NEVER ask for proof about those.

You know which beliefs I’m talking about.

The beliefs standing between where you are, and where you want to be.

If you’re waiting for PROOF that those beliefs are false, you’ll be waiting long time.

One movie I particularly liked is “Three Kings.” It’s about some soldiers in Iraq who conspired to steal a bunch of gold.

They were about to make some important move, and one of the younger soldiers was nervous. 

He said, “If I were more confident I’d be able to do this.”

The older soldier was played by George Clooney. He said it doesn’t work like that. 

He said, “First you do the thing, THEN you get the confidence.”

Beliefs are kind of the same way. You take action to get what you want, THEN you’ll believe you can get it.

The only person who needs to “prove it” is you.

The only person who CAN “prove it,” is you.

However, it doesn’t have to be scary.

You can reach inside your mind, and slowly change those beliefs.

So that taking action is MUCH easier. And once you DO, then you’ll believe you can do ANYTHING.

Get Started:

Own Your Life – Own Your World

Become A Leader

Have You Got This?

One of the greatest things you can say to yourself, (and mean it) is, “I got this.”

Maybe you’re sitting with your friends and something happens, and nobody knows what to do.

Then you say, “I got this,” and take care of business.

Sometimes it means you’re the one paying. Sometimes it means you’re the one speaking up for the group. Sometimes it means you’re the one that’s going to figure out what to do.

They’ve done plenty of studies about how humans interact with each other in groups. They put a bunch of strangers together, and there’s ALWAYS a person who emerges as the leader.

Whether you’re stuck on an island, or stuck in an elevator. Pretty soon, somebody is going to be the leader.

Usually this doesn’t happen like on TV. There’s no fighting, or wrestling for dominance. There’s just one guy or girl who’s got that, “I got this” vibe a little stronger than the rest.

Maybe you’ve been in that situation?

Something happens. You’re with people you don’t really know. You look around and pretty quickly assume that everybody else is waiting for somebody to tell them what to do. So you step up and say, “I got this.”

What’s funny is they take ten separate groups, and take all the “leaders” and put them together, and lo and behold, one of THEM becomes the new leader. They also take the lowest ranking “followers” and put them together, and lo and behold, one of them becomes the new leader.

The more you can say “I got this,” the more you’ll be chosen as the natural leader in more situations.

No matter WHAT you do in life, this can ONLY help you.

More money, more choices, more respect, less trouble, etc.

How do you get this ultra self-confident level of natural authority and power?

Tap into your true nature.

See, all humans come into the world with a magnificent set of skills and abilities. But most of us get them hammered out of us for all kinds of reasons. By the time we reach young adulthood, all of our genius, creativity, boldness and fearlessness has been forcefully replaced by timidity, anxiety, a need to be told what to do, and fear.

To reclaim your power, all you’ve got to do is peel back that layer of crap that’s been layered on top.

To reveal your true nature within.

Then you can show the world who you REALLY are.

Get Started:

Emotional Freedom

Remove The Enemy To Success

Expand Your Comfort Zone

How To Grow Your Comfort Zone

All of us want things that we don’t go after.

Most of us make up stories that we tell ourselves, in order to protect our egos.

Very few of us are honest enough with ourselves to admit the real reasons to ourselves.

When I was a kid me and my friends would always dare each other to do things.

Go ring the doorbell of some crazy ladies house.

Touch some gross looking bug.

Go say something goofy to some other kid we barely knew, usually a girl.

Many times, we’d actually kind of seek out our buddies and get them to dare us to do stuff.

Stuff we wanted to do, but couldn’t really do on our own.

Many times having a group of supporters can help you do things you want to do, but can’t on your own.

But some things in life, the really good things in life, you really do have to do them on your own.

Everything that is worth getting, is going to require some kind of risk. Some kind of action where you aren’t really sure what’s going to happen.

Many people simply aren’t comfortable with this. 

But those who achieve greatness, do so because they are comfortable with risk. Comfortable with uncertainty.

Now, this doesn’t meant that you need to go out and become a super hero or anything.

It means just expanding your comfort zone a bit. Just enough to feel like you’ve accomplished something worthwhile at the end of the day.

You’ve moved beyond merely handling what the world gives you (which is plenty most of the time!)

When you go above and beyond what’s required, when you push out just a little bit more, it feels pretty good.

Most people imagine that confronting fear is only when they pick up their sword and face that huge, fire breathing dragon.

But in reality, it’s those small behaviors you do on a daily basis. When you take a risk and smile at somebody.

Or be the person to approach the other person. Or be the person who speaks up on behalf of somebody else when something goes wrong.

You don’t need to wait for a monster to kill or a dragon to slay.

You’ve got opportunities every single day to conquer your fears. One by one. Little by little.

Napoleon Hill wrote decades ago that our most basic fears can hold us back from greatness.

From the wealth and relationships we deserve.

Many of these “base fears” live in our root Chakra. And left alone, they tend to fester and grow.

Taking daily action is a sure way to slowly eliminate them from your life.

Here’s another way:

Kundalini Activator

Your Inner And Outer Light

Two Way Motivation

Two Way Motivation

It’s easy to “perform” when there are some strong incentives.

If you had a pretty good job, with pretty good money, and had to be there every morning at 7 AM, you wouldn’t have a problem waking up in the morning.

Having an external, negative incentive (you’d get fired if you showed up late too often) is one strong motivating factor.

Most of us are driven largely by negative incentives, or by pain. Meaning we are more motivated to move away from pain than we are to move toward pleasure.

For example, you’ll find no shortage of “diets” that famous people follow to lose weight in order to get those awesome looking bodies we see in the movies.

But here’s the thing. If YOU were going to get a few million dollars to be in a movie, but the ONLY way you would get it if you got yourself in really decent shape, you’d have NO PROBLEM doing so.

It’s not really the specific diet that gets them into shape, it’s the motivation.

Not only negative, but also positive. Meaning on the one hand, they’re terrified of losing out, and getting rejected by Hollywood. But they’re also thrilled at increasing their fame and social status.

This is what happens when you figure out how to be motivated not only by moving AWAY from pain, but TOWARD pleasure.

Most of us move away from pain just long enough so we can sit on the couch in front of the TV for a few hours.

Those that figure out to move toward pleasure, as well as away from pain, tend to do much, much better in life.

Of course, the first thing you need to do is establish your own personal pleasure you’re going after.

I’m not talking about short term pleasure, like that ice cream in your freezer. I’m talking about huge, long term pleasure out in the future.

A perfect relationship, a great career, a feeling of spiritual peace and connection.

Those things will simply not happen if you’re ONLY motivated away from pain.

The thing is that all of us, on a very deep and fundamental level, are hard wired to WANT those things. Those perfect relationships, careers that maximize our skills and intelligence while filling up our bank accounts.

But they don’t happen naturally. You’ve got to get up off the couch and get moving. Sometimes for a while before you figure out where you’re going.

Before you get on the path you KNOW is the right path for you, there will be some trial and error.

This is normal, natural, and part of the process. Otherwise, you wouldn’t feel that thrill of discovery when you DO discover the right path.

One way that can help considerably is to open up your higher self. Get in touch with the part of you that is waiting to be pulled toward the light, rather than merely away from the darkness.

Once you discover the light within, it will be much easier to find the light without.

Learn How:

Kundalini Activator

How To Make An Impression On Her

You Don't Need to Be A Clown With Memorized Patterns

How To Be Confident And In The Moment

There’s a very small difference between somebody who’s really funny, and somebody who has a well practiced routine.

Like if you watch comedians a lot, they speak like they’re just jabbering away off the top of their heads. But if you meet them in person, you might get a different idea.

I had a friend once who took his kid see this famous TV comic perform at local fair. They watched him, and really enjoyed his routine. But then they went backstage to see him, and he was TOTALLY different. Withdrawn, closed off, smoking a cigarette, and not very pleasant to talk to.

Of course, not all comics are like this. In fact, the most famous ones can generally turn it on or off at a moment’s notice, but even then it’s not what it appears.

A lot of the great “improv” comics can spin a funny story based on pretty much anything. So it seems like they’re in the moment. But in reality, they have TONS of small, memorized bits based on pretty much every topic. Which means they only need to connect anything anybody says to ONE of these memorized bits, and then it’s off to the races.

To make their “game” even tighter, they are ALWAYS coming up with new material. Meaning they’ll see some woman with a red hat in line at the grocery store, then they’ll come up with a funny story associated with that particular woman, real or not, and file it away for further use.

Now, this sounds like a LOT of work, and it is! But remember, these are the guys that are world famous, and make millions of dollars a year.

Many, many people see game, as in talking to girls, they same way. They feel they need to have a whole collection of memorized patterns and topics, so they can always riff of whatever she says.

This is kind of true, but not really.

Meaning this is the way humans are hard wired to communicate anyway. Meaning if you make it a habit of talking to as many people as you can, just to talk to them, you’ll automatically be collecting a lot of stories based on a lot of different situations.

And your genius brain will AUTOMATICALLY start to bring those stories to mind whenever you’re talking to people. Which, of course, will create a self-fulfilling loop.

You talk to people, and they’ll remind of other people, and you’ll then use those old stories to mix in with that current situation. 

Your experience and anecdotes will grow. Your social comfort will grow. Your ability to be “in the moment” without fear or nervousness will grow.

All you’ve got to do is make a decision to simply start being more social with people. Then when you’re talking to that cute girl, about whatever, you’ll be the most interesting person she’s talked to in a long, long time.

Get Started:

Girlfriend Generator

Do You Have The Brakes On?

Release The Brakes!

Eliminate Internal Resistance

When I was a kid I was in a couple of “races.” 

One was when we had to build these race cars out of wood. The track was just a bit long ramp, and the cars had to coast.

We all had a basic kit to build our cars with, so they were all pretty similar. Adult help was not allowed.

Then we had some kind of tournament where we’d just let them loose, two at a time, until we finally had a winner.

It wasn’t very scientific, more a process kind of thing. Get the kids involved in some kind of project where they have to do things on their own, without any help, and then stand by the results they got.

As you can guess, the biggest difference was resistance. Whoever got their friction levels the smallest had the fastest cars. Since they just coasted, due to gravity, the ones that went the fastest had the least resistance internally (from the wheels) and externally (due to wind resistance).

I remember another time, when I was going on a long bike ride with my buddy. He was having a hard time keeping up. Which was strange, since we’d often trained together and we were in both pretty similar physical condition.

We stopped, thinking maybe something was wrong with his bike. There was. Somehow, his rear brake was slightly engaged, holding him back, and stealing some of his pedaling energy.

This happens quite a lot. Often times we think what’s holding us back is somewhere “out there.” It’s pretty easy to point fingers at others, as it keeps us from owning up to our shortcomings, whatever they may be.

But often times what’s holding us back is something inside. False fears and anxieties, based on stories we told ourselves long go, that we still think are true.

And just like my friends brakes, these false fears are stealing our forward momentum. We are moving forward, but part of us is holding us back. The struggle we feel is completely internal.

Once my friend had uncovered his brake problem, he easily took off ahead of me. Compared to how he was huffing and puffing before, keeping up with me was easy. Too easy, so he left me in the dust.

This is what happens when we learn how to dismantle our internal brakes. It seems easy. So easy we can take off, and leave our old selves in the dust.

Free to sprint up ahead, and achieve things much greater than we’d ever thought possible.

Are you ready?

Kundalini Activator

How To Develop Natural, Automatic Game

Practice Makes Perfect

Practice Makes Perfect

If you think back to your best nights with people in general, or girls in particular, you will likely come to a startling (or maybe not so startling) conclusion.

None of those nights or days happened because you were running some ultra tight game, where you were viewing your conversations with others like some high level chess game. You weren’t planning your statements and words with a thought of what they’d say next, and what you might say after that, and ten or twenty minutes into the future.

Instead, you were likely very much in the moment. She said something, and you automatically said something back. You didn’t think about it, or choose your words, or even knew how you were going to finish a sentence when you started it.

You were in that mystical magical energy flow that is so rare but so awesome. You say something, she says something you say something, and it just flows back and forth.

Imagine if you tried to play tennis like some guys try and “spit game.” You had some set of moves memorized out, but they only worked if your opponent hit the ball a certain way.

You wouldn’t last long.

Sure, you should practice your backhand, your serve, your forehand, short game, back game (or whatever they call it). All individually, all seriously.

But when you’re playing a game, you just show up and play. Let your instincts do the work. Let your stamina do the work.

And guess what? The more you play, the better you’d get. The more you’d practice, the better you’d get.

But for some reason, guys don’t think of social skills like this. They seem to think you need to follow some set of rules or steps or something.

But in reality, it’s pretty simple. Just keep talking to people. The more people you talk to, the better you’ll get. The more people you talk to, the more experience you’ll get, which means you’ll have more stuff to talk about.

If you want to drill certain aspects of “game,” like you would in tennis, you can do that as well.

Just practice eye contact one day. Nothing else. Practice saying hello. Do nothing else until  you say hello to 100 girls. Then practice introducing yourself. Do nothing else. Keep this up until you introduce yourself to 100 girls.

Sure, it may take a while. But if you drill yourself like this, and at the same time, having relaxing, normal, conversations with people whenever and wherever you see them, you will develop some VERY powerful, VERY attractive, and VERY natural game.

The kind you don’t even need to think about. And that wonderful flow will happen again and again and again.

Get Started:

Girlfriend Generator