Monthly Archives: June 2015

How To Expand Your Comfort Zone

Break Out Of Your Rut

Become The Explorer

I love to go exploring. 

When I was a kid in boy scouts, we used to go hiking. Getting to the campsite was pretty hard. Walking up steep hills in the hot sun for hours and hours.  But for some reason, when we’d make camp, me and my buddies would get a sudden burst of energy.

Throw off our packs and go running around, checking the place out.

As an adult, I have done a bit of traveling. Once I get to a new city, get settled into a hotel, I like to go out and explore.

Once, after about a 16 hour flight, I arrived at my destination about 7 PM local time. I had the intention of heading out for something to eat, and then hit the sack early.

But once I lost myself in the wonder if a big and strange foreign city, once again I felt that surge of energy. I didn’t make it back to my hotel until dawn.

Humans are natural explorers. We aren’t content to live boring lives filled with easy and safe routines.

To be sure, sometimes having a safe routine for a spell can be JUST what the doctor ordered. Retreat and regroup, mentally, physically, spiritually.

And it can certainly be easy to fall into a rut. Same day different stuff. Work, home, TV, eat, sleep work, etc.

The good news is you don’t have to hike some huge mountain or travel to a foreign country to break up your routine (although it would certainly help!)

All you’ve really got to do is change things up a bit. Even going out to eat once in a while, when you’re used to be eating at home can be enough.

Once you start to shake things up a bit, you’ll start to reawaken your natural, creative, explorer self.

The one that sees life as an adventure, instead of a chore.

Of course, this requires that you’re willing to take some small risks. Go places you’ve never gone before. Meet people you’ve never met before. Talk to strangers, if only to experience the pleasure of meeting new people.

This can absolutely be scary and uncomfortable. But it can also be exhilarating, and lead to some pretty amazing discoveries.

Not only about the world, but about yourself.

No matter WHO you are, or WHAT you’ve already accomplished, making a decision to slowly but consistently expand your comfort zone can pay MASSIVE dividends.

But you’ll never know unless you try.

This will make it easier:

Create Instant Rapport With Everybody

Create Instant Rapport

Release Internal Resistance

It’s pretty easy to spot a couple on their first date.

At the very least, you can tell something’s a bit different.

But since you know about these things, and can dig deeper, and notice things certain people don’t.

Like how their posture is a bit less relaxed. Their facial expressions and body language show a bit more politeness.

Maybe their laughter is a bit less natural, a bit more forced. If they’re eating they pick up their food and chew it carefully.

On the other hand, when you see two people who have clearly known each other for a long time, their behavior is pretty easy to spot as well.

Eating off each other’s plates. Interrupting each other while talking. Open scowls and rolled eyes whenever appropriate.

Most people take a while to “feel comfortable” with other people.

Even if they’re not a potential client or romantic interest, we tend to “stiffen up” a bit when we’re around strangers.

Some rare people, have a gift of making EVERYBODY relaxed around them.

They walk up, and you don’t feel the need to guard your emotions, or feel any worry about offending them or pleasing them.

Something about them, their body language, facial expressions, voice tone, movements, make you feel relaxed, and at ease.

Maybe because they fully accept the world, and themselves, exactly how it is.

Maybe they’re not worried about needing to impress anybody or try to prove anything to anybody.

They know that no matter what happens, they’ll be fine.

They give off a vibe of “The only time and place I’d like to be is right here, right now.”

And they ALWAYS tend to give off that vibe. Stuck in traffic, sitting in a business meeting, on a first date, on a fiftieth date, anywhere. Everywhere.

How can YOU be that person?

The first step is to get rid of all that emotional junk that most of us have. Those secret sore spots you may be worried about hitting on accident.

Like when you’re talking to somebody, and they bring up some “taboo” subject, (at least in your mind) and suddenly you’re on full alert. 

You may have decided that these “sore spots” are there to stay, and there’s nothing you can do.

You might not even be ready to admit they’re there.

We’ve ALL got them. They are not because you’re broken, or dysfunctional. It’s merely a result of the “growing up process.”

Luckily, when you find out how easy they are to get rid of, you can let out that deep, charismatic you.

That person EVERYBODY looks forward to being around.

Get Started:

Emotional Freedom

Create A Seduction Mastermind Group

How To Leverage Competition

How To Leverage Competition

Napoleon Hill is famous for writing a book on how to get rich. This wasn’t some philosophical mumbo jumbo like a lot of “law of attraction” books, this was based on reverse engineering people who already WERE rich.

Hill basically took what was already working, and synthesized it into a “how to guide.” He wrote it at a time when there were a lot of metaphysical ideas and books floating around. As somebody who wasn’t just delivering a set of skills to learn and put into practice, he himself was also trying to get paid.

So he wrote it in a kind of style he hoped would make it very popular. And it did. It is still being read today. However, thinking of it in terms of any kind of metaphysical hooey is a mistake. It has real ideas, that when applied in real ways, WILL generate real results.

One technique is the “mastermind” group. Now, if you’ve got a problem, no matter how smart you are, you won’t likely think of a solution. If you asks somebody else, they won’t likely have a solution either.

But when you’ve got a group of guys and gals together, all bringing their collective experience to the table, somebody’s going to come up with an idea. And that idea will be bounced around and transformed into a solution that NOBODY would have thought up on their own.

This is why many people form “mastermind” groups for this purpose. Unfortunately, they often turn into to a “law of attraction” contest where everybody tries to impress everybody else with their own nonsense.

Which is why oftentimes these mastermind groups are great in theory, but in practice they don’t end up being more than an ego stroking waste of time.

Except when you create your own super covert mastermind group, and use it to learn how to pick up girls.

How’s that?

One of the best things to come out of NLP is modeling. Meaning you watch somebody do something, and if it works you copy it. If it doesn’t work, you do something else.

Normally this is how any skill is learned and mastered. But when everybody’s trying and learning from each other, EVERYBODY can boos their skills in a hurry.

How do you do this with social skills?

First, you’ve got to get a group of guys that will commit to getting together once every week or so, JUST TO INCREASE THEIR SKILLS.

This is pretty difficult. You get a group of guys together, they’ll end up competing, which means there’re winners or losers.

This won’t help anybody.

Which is why you’ve got to choose your mastermind very carefully.

But if you make a rule that ONLY FOR YOUR GROUP PRACTICE SESSIONS, nobody goes further than number closing, you can do pretty well.

That’s when competition will motivate everybody to up their game.

Try it, and see.

Girlfriend Generator

Super Sonic Skill Learning

How To Model Anything

How To Model Others

One powerful way to learn something is to reverse engineer somebody who’s already doing it.

Ever since the first caveman picked up a rock and threw it at a zebra, we’ve been copying each other, and improving on it ever since.

Somebody opens a cheeseburger restaurant and does well.

Somebody else opens up a bacon-cheeseburger restaurant and does better.

Then some crazy entrepreneur shows up and opens a bacon-cheeseburger-avocado restaurant and the town goes nuts!

No matter what you’d like to do, there’s probably plenty of people who are already doing it.

To take this reverse engineering skill to a completely new level, you can take certain aspects of what people are doing, and combine them into your own, unique super skill.

This is what happened when societies reached a “tipping point.” There were so many ideas swirling around that they finally started to take on a mind of their own, and innovation and technology took off.

But this skill is very powerful on a personal level. For example, let’s say you see somebody giving a speech about the importance of flossing after every meal. Now, you might think the content is boring, but they could be a really charismatic speaker. You could copy their delivery method, and come up with your own content.

Or in the cheeseburger examples above, you could copy the structure, ordering system, even layout of the place, but sell pies instead.

One powerful way to do this is when you are around somebody who is behaving the way you’d like to behave.

And as you’re watching them, simply copy their movements and gestures, in your mind. Imagine you are mirroring them exactly. This is easy if you are seated and they are standing. Really easy if you’re watching somebody give a speech, even on TV.

Then you imagine that you’re watching yourself up there, talking about something different, but using their same delivery style.

Many people do this unconsciously when watching movies or TV. It gives us that catharsis the Greeks talked about so much way back when.

By taking it up to the conscious level, you’ll go beyond mere entertainment, and start to use movies as learning tools.

What’s even better is that no matter WHAT you want to learn, you can find somebody doing it on YouTube. Watch them, copy them in your mind, or in person if you’re alone, and then watch them while imagining it’s you instead of them.

This technique works not only in learning new skills, but changing your own history as well.

For example, what would happen if you could rewrite your own history so you’ve ALWAYS been a natural speaker, or you’ve ALWAYS believed making money was easy?

The possibilities are endless.

Learn More:

Emotional Freedom

Drill The Three Second Rule Into Your Monkey Brain

Get Rid Your Monkey Brain

Essential Training

Why is the three second rule the three second rule? Any time you’ve got some general rule like that, that makes sense, it’s going to be for a bunch of different reasons.

For one, if she sees you and you see her seeing you, the sooner you walk over there, the better. If you walk over there pretty quickly, she’ll think you’re pretty confident. If you wait a few hours, she’ll think you’re a nervous goof like most guys.

If you walk over right away, you won’t give your monkey brain any time to think of all the horrible things that might happen. As soon as you start moving adrenalin kicks in and shuts that monkey brain down. The more you stand there trying to think of that perfect pick up line you read on the Internet, you’re scared monkey brain will think of a million reasons why you SHOULDN’T walk over.

If you walk over right away, you’ll be doing so BEFORE any other goof has the opportunity. If you don’t walk over right away, some other guy might.

If you’ve noticed she’s flirting with you, that means in her mind she’s being VERY blatant, about as much as most girls can be. Which means if you DON’T walk over right away, she’ll think you’re either rude or not interested. If you wait an hour before you walk over, she’ll wonder what changed in your mind. Not a good starting point.

So you see, the longer you wait, the worse it gets. The sooner you take action, the better your chances are.

And just like any other inter-personal skill, this is something that you can PRACTICE, and get better at.

There’s not a magical switch in your mind that makes it easy. The ONLY way that makes it easy is to simply get in the habit of doing it. 

Kind of like waking up early in the morning. If you ALWAYS hit your snooze button sixteen times, you’ll never develop that bounce-out-of-bed habit. You’ll always be some lazy slouch who can’t get up.

So, how do you PRACTICE adhering to the three second rule?

The basic structure is observe then act. Practice this any way you can. Like quickly raise your eyebrows after any kind of eye contact.

Or quickly smile after eye contact. Any kind of observation MUST be followed quickly by some kind of action on  your part. This will build in that automatic response that girls find so attractive.

Remember, this is PRACTICE. Every time you practice you are NOT trying to number closer or name close or anything else. Only practice. Observe and action. It DOES NOT MATTER what she does. This is only to build in your automatic response to any observations. Keep this up, and the three second rule will be automatic in no time.

Get Started:

Girlfriend Generator

Do You Talk Yourself Out Of Success?

Shut Down Those Inner Voices

Deal With Those Inner Voices

There is a battle raging inside your mind.

Most people don’t know this, but you do.

Few notice this, but you know it’s there.

A battle of ideas, intentions, desires.

Part of you wants to move forward, but then a split second later, too quick for most to notice, another part steps in with the doubts. The worries. The “what ifs.”

When I went bungee jumping, the guy at the top said don’t hesitate. Don’t look down. Just look straight ahead, count to three and lean forward. If you look down, you’ll talk yourself out of it.

This is a clear example of what happens that everybody understands. But when you want to speak up in a crowd, say something in a meeting, or approach an interesting stranger, it happens too quickly for most to notice.

What’s worse, that second voice is the most persuasive voice you’ll ever hear. Not only does that voice convince you it’s not a good idea to do what you wanted to do, but it’s actually BETTER if you don’t.

And if you’ve got a super advanced Jedi ninja in your brain, you may even find yourself patting yourself on your back for your “advanced insight” that keeps you from doing what you wanted to do anyway!

How did we get this way?

Once upon a time, we would move forward with nothing but enthusiasm and excitement. Then we learned that sometimes it was not such a great idea. Adults yelled at us. Teachers scowled at us. Those with “moral authority” shook their fingers at us.

So that secondary voice isn’t REALLY trying to hurt us, it’s trying to protect us.

But like those 100 year old Japanese soldiers still living in the jungle, they don’t know the war’s over.

They believe it’s still raging.

Which means yelling at them, cursing at them, thinking they are somehow proof of your “brokenness” isn’t the best way to approach them.

Kindly let them know they’ve done their job well. They did a fantastic job keeping you safe when you were a kid and surrounded by well meaning but not always effective adults.

Tell them to stand down. You’re an adult now. You can deal with whatever comes up.

Let them know you’ll check in from time to time, maybe for advice, maybe just have a few laughs over the old times (like when you got yelled at by your teacher in front of the class).

But other than that, it’s all you.

Set yourself free.

Learn How:

Emotional Freedom

The Most Crucial Goal Of Life

It's All Up To You

It’s All On You

Many guys make an absolutely crucial error when meeting girls. Simply stated, they blame the market, rather than themselves.

Now, that may seem harsh, but if you can’t get what you want, there’s only one thing you can do. And that is to improve yourself until you CAN get what you want.

Imagine going to the store to buy something to eat. But all you’ve got is a dollar. You could complain that the market is rigged, that food is too expensive, or that the food producers are ripping everybody off and there’s some kind of food scam conspiracy going on.

Or you could simply find a way to get more money, so you have more choice. 

One of the most common things people tend to do is NOT take responsibility. Politicians have known this for thousands of years. So long as they promise the common man their problems are NOT their fault, they keep getting elected.

Unfortunately, it is a false promise.

While it’s not technically your “fault,” it is most certainly your responsibility. Most of the time it’s not ANYBODY’S “fault.”

But something about the human brain keeps us from seeing things this way. We seem to be hard wired to ALWAYS need some kind of “bad guy” to point our fingers at.

So, how do you respond when you approach ten girls and they all shut you down?

Do something different.


You can’t call the pickup police and force them to accept your advances. You COULD get angry or hurt, take your ball and go home, and never go out again, but there’s no fun in that.

What exactly should you do differently?

This is where your own personal responsibility comes into play. This is only up to YOU to decide. You can’t learn what to do specifically on the Internet. You can’t copy something from a movie.

You can only try different things, and keep trying different things, until you find something that works. Then keep doing variations of THAT (whatever it is) until it works better and better.

Is this fair? Absolutely not. Some guys are naturals, some guys aren’t. Nothing you can do about that.

Is this easy? No way! Getting rejected by a cute girl hurts worse than pretty much anything else.

Will this be a quick process? Not likely. You’ll have to sort through a lot of girls that won’t want to have anything to do with you, until you find one that does.

But guess what?

If you really want a high quality woman to share your life with, this is the ONLY way.

However, here’s some good news. If you make it a point to spend the next year or two (yes, YEAR or two) refining this process, increasing your skills, until you DO meet her, you will be able to do ANYTHING.

Get Started:

Girlfriend Generator

How To Be Comfortable Around Anybody

Lower Your Shields

Turn Off Your Shield

It’s a very common experience to think of something to say after the fact.

Like you’re in a conversation with your friends, and somebody says something, and you don’t know how to respond.

Then later on, maybe at home or in the car, you think of witty comeback.

Or maybe you’ve had this experience.  You’ve got to give a speech. You practice at home, in front of the mirror, over and over. Then you give the speech, only you don’t remember much of it.

OK, how about this one. You’ve got a great idea in your head. You rehearse what you’re going to say.  Maybe to your boss, your partner, or your kids.

But when you say it, it doesn’t sound nearly as good. Maybe even people look at you like you’re crazy.

That can really hurt. Especially if you were fully expecting them to embrace your idea.

What gives?

Why do we sometimes have so much trouble communicating? It’s not rocket science. We’re not trying to reverse engineer Euclidian Geometry.

The reason is all have a kind of imaginary “bubble” around us. One that pops up unexpectedly.

When we’re with our close friends, it’s rarely present. We can say whatever we want. We know from our experience that they’re our close friends, so we’re not worried about rejection.

But when it’s somebody we don’t really know, AND it’s somebody important, we suddenly are very careful how we speak.

Now, this rarely happens consciously. We don’t carefully choose our words like some high level negotiator or diplomat.

But we do severely limit ourselves. Our chests constrict. Our vocal chords get a bit tighter. We speak from a slightly higher point in our diaphragms.

It’s that ancient “fight or flight” response coming to save us. Only it doesn’t know we’re not going into battle or trying to scare a tiger away from our cave.

We’re just talking to some person, who’s just like us, and we may get something good, we may not.

Think of what you could accomplish, what you could get, if you could talk to ANYBODY as naturally and easily as your close friends.

Not necessarily say the same things, but if you were as relaxed and confident. If you were not worried in the least of rejection.

Talking to your boss, giving speeches, talking to attractive people. 

Just imagine if you were as comfortable talking your boss into giving you a raise as you were convincing your friend to meet you at the corner pub!

The good news is that you can. Because all those fears and anxieties that may be subconsciously holding you back can be ejected.

With the right mental exercises, and some daily journaling, you can get rid of the for good.

Learn How:

Emotional Freedom

Make It Easy To Talk To Her

Practice Without Pressure

Not Always Do Or Die

It can be incredibly frustrating if you don’t have the social skills and confidence to walk up and start talking to a cute girl, even though you’d really, really like to.

Especially if you haven’t done anything like this before. Many guys are desperately searching for some kind of magic line or phrase that will instantaneously fire up her attraction.

In reality, those first few moments of the conversation are not nearly as dependent on words as we’d like to believe. It really doesn’t matter WHAT you say, so long as you’re relaxed, and confident, and not pushy.

If you’re a little nervous, that’s OK. She is usually going to be to. That’s normal, and that’s expected.

It’s when you’re SUPER nervous is when that becomes a problem.

However, the only way to move from SUPER nervous from a normal level of nervousness is to practice doing things that make you nervous.

No memorized lines or patterns are going to do this. In fact, they are likely going to hurt in the long run.


The best possible thing you can say is whatever comes up, in the moment. If you practice a bunch of memorized stories and openers, you’ll just get good at these particular openers or routines.

This takes away feeling of spontaneity that’s a crucial ingredient in that first important conversation.

The only way to be “in the moment” is to practice being “in the moment.”

But before you start walking up to strange girls just to practice, ease into it.

Start with whatever you’re comfortable with, and work your way up. If you’re comfortable with eye contact, then start with that. Then move to flirty eye contact. Then move to eye contact and smiles. Then move to saying, “hi.” Then move to short conversations.

It’s absolutely crucial to see this as exercise. Skill building. Not actual pick up. If you’re working on eye contact, for example, DON’T do anything else. If she says “hi,” don’t get excited and try to number close her or make her your girlfriend.

This is much harder than it sounds. The tendency is to suddenly treat her as a potential relationship and go as far as you can. This will hurt your ego, and will be counter productive.

When doing these skill building exercises, tell yourself before you go out it’s ONLY PRACTICE. Don’t push yourself further than you can. Just get ten “hello’s” and that’s that (or whatever level you’re at.)

When you finally do see a girl you’d like to talk to for REAL, it will be a lot easier.

Get Started:

Girlfriend Generator

How To Obliterate Inhibitions

Everything Is Perfect

All Is Perfect

Many things are very inefficient.

On the other hand, everything is always perfectly efficient.

From nature’s point of view, everything’s perfect. Always has been, always will be.

The laws of science always behave exactly the way they are supposed to.

It’s only when the human brain, intention, and limited understanding come into play do things seem to be out of whack.

Take riding a bicycle for example. You put in a certain amount of energy to get from point A to point B.

A lot of that energy is heat, both in your body and in the bike. 

Or consider driving a car. You put gas in, and drive somewhere. The gas produces exhaust, which means that there’s an inefficient use of fuel. A perfectly efficient use of fuel would leave zero exhaust.

Same goes with your body. Fuel in, and exhaust out. On a personal level, it seems to be a lot of wasted energy.

But then again, from a very broad perspective, it’s perfectly the way it should be.

Only when we want something we can’t get, or we don’t understand the system does something seem to be “not working.”

Take something simple like shooting baskets. You shoot and you miss. Even if you completely miss the rim, the laws of physics are still working beautifully.

But what happened? Your brain wanted it to go in, but your body didn’t cooperate. Or did it?

Maybe part of your brain was wanting it to go in, and part of your brain was worried what everybody would think if you missed.

Kind of like having one of those two-person bikes when both people aren’t pedaling in sync.

When you were born, you were perfectly in sync with your intention and your intuition. When you wanted something, you let everybody know. When you were curious about something, you went over and grabbed it. When you were sad, you didn’t pretend you weren’t.

Then you went through a process of becoming an adult. Sadly, many folks don’t make it through this “training period.”

Many people never regain their innocence, curiosity, tendency to express their emotions clearly and confidently.

Think about an adult you know, that can still do that. Open, fearless, not afraid of risks.

Most people would describe somebody like that as incredibly charismatic.

It’s really just a combination of an adult mind (and all the implied responsibilities), with a childlike attitude. When you combine those two, there’s NOTHING that can stop you.

All you’ve got to do is ditch all those “learned inhibitions” that come with a typical growing up process.

That outgoing, creative and curious charismatic YOU is still there.

Ready to let yourself out?

Get Started:

Emotional Freedom