Monthly Archives: December 2017

Become A Super Hero Persuader

How To Disappear Hidden Objections

It’s very hard to do something when we are afraid to do it.

Most of the time, we think of this from our own perspective.

But it can be very helpful to see this from others as well.

We all have the experience of trying to convince somebody to do something.

And they “sort of want to” but they are a little scared at the same time.

Maybe you want to go out and be social, but your buddy wants to play video games.

They’ll never say, “Yeah, going out and meeting people sounds fantastic. But I’m kid of scared of rejection or saying something stupid and looking like an idiot, so I’d rather stay here and play video games.”

Instead they say, “Dude, that’s lame, let’s just chill here.”

One of the common tactics of avoid unpleasant situations is to condemn that which we fear.

It’s kind of an internal reframe.

I don’t want to go out because I’m afraid of rejection, I don’t want to go out because going out is lame.

They may give a few supporting arguments for the “lame” part, making their argument sound logical.

Cover charges, waiting in line, traffic, etc.

But the REAL reason is the same.

Carefully hidden beneath all of their surface structure “logic.”

The common response is to argue with their surface structure logic.

But since that’s just a cover for the REAL issue (in this metaphor social anxiety) it will only REINFORCE that the REAL issue is the surface level.

You could try and “prove” you are right by forcing them to admit they’re really scared, so you could tell them there’s nothing to be scared about.

But that would make them dig even deeper.

“Dude, what the hell are you talking about? I just don’t to wait in line so I can spend $20 for a gin and tonic!”

A much BETTER strategy would be to acknowledge the real issue, and just leave it be.

Sometimes you NEED the objection to overcome it.

But often times this isn’t the case.

You just need to do the opposite.

Frame your idea so that it’s so compelling, they’ll overcome their own objection.

This way, even if you’re wrong about the objection, it won’t matter.

Luckily, pretty much any idea can be presented so it’s MORE powerful than any internal objections they may have.

Which is even better, since in overcoming their own objections (usually subconsciously) they’ll convince themselves it was THEIR idea all along.

Learn How:

Seven Laws

Free Yourself From Unenlightened Persuasion

Secret Pac Man Magic

When I was a kid me and my buddies loved to play Pac Man.

There were lots of old school video games.

But Pac Man was unique.

In that there was allegedly some secret “pattern” that once you learned it, it would allow you to easily escape the dudes trying to eat Pac Man.

Lots of video games have “cheats,” but for Pac Man it was a little different.

It was like a secret system.

Of course, nobody knew what that system was.

Everybody knew somebody who saw somebody use it.

It seems we humans love to think along these lines.

Of some secret shortcut that exists, and only those “in the know” have access to it.

Once I was told by a professor in college that companies had secretly invented tires that never wear down and nylons that never run.

But if they released them to the public, they wouldn’t make nearly as much money.

Maybe it’s true, maybe not, but it seems that with some clever marketing, if you DID have a tire that never wore down, you’d make a ton of money.

On the other hand, there ARE some things that do seem like shortcuts.

But they only appear to be shortcuts to others who don’t know the “system.”

If you work any system long enough, you’ll figure out all the angles.

Kind of like that movie, “Groundhog Day.”

Poor guy lived the same day over and over and over.

But by the end, he had everything down PERFECTLY.

The good news is that we don’t need to relive every day, or take a bunch of time to learn all the angles.

Because there really IS a set of “shortcuts.”

Shortcuts in human thinking and behaving.

The people that know about these shortcuts, and more importantly, how to deliver them, make TONS of money.

And they have been for a LONG time.

And many of the folks that are naturally persuasive use these also.

They just don’t know it.

So when you learn these, and find out just how effective they are, it’s up to you whether you want to share them or not.

But it IS pretty cool to let others think you’ve discovered some kind of magic trick.

Learn How:
Seven Laws

Angels In The Hallway

The Either Or Pattern

We humans like choice, but not too much.

Choosing between 3 or maybe 4 things is pretty easy.

Which makes sense.

They say we can hold between 5 and 9 (7 +/- 2) things in mind at once.

So looking at three kinds and choosing one means we’re really thinking of six things at once.

The pros and cons of each choice (pro and con times 3).

When we get up to four, it’s kind of stretching our brains.

Looking at five things, it starts to get difficult.

This is what marketers have found when experimenting with different choices on supermarket shelves.

Three variations seems to be the sweet spot.

But there’s another way to look at choice.

How we compare things to one another.

Students were asked to put their hands in a bucket of water, and guess the temperature.

The “test bucket” was always the same temperature.

But their “guess temperature” was dependent on what their OTHER HAND was doing.

If their other hand was in warm water, they under-estimated the test bucket.

If their other hand was in cold water, they over-estimated the test bucket.

So when offering a choice to somebody, how you present that choice will have a HUGE impact on how they choose.

Example:

A marketer was trying to sell a kitchen gadget. It had a few features and was $150.

People would look at it on the shelf, all by it’s lonesome, and only a few people would buy it.

All he did was take a much more expensive gadget ($400 or so) and put it next to the $150 gadget.

The $400 gadget had only a few more features.

So the $150 looked CHEAP by comparison.

Simply by rearranging his shelves, he sold WAY more stuff.

There are tons of ways to leverage this.

Especially if you already have two choices, and there is ONE that you prefer.

Just present the costs of the other choice (the one you don’t want them to choose) as being disproportionately higher than the associated benefits.

Then when they choose, it will be THEIR choice.

Even though you “helped” them make it.

Luckily, this is pretty easy to do conversationally.

Just take a little bit of thought before presenting your ideas, and present them accordingly.

Learn How:

Seven Laws

Magic Ball Of Fame

How He Faked Fame

Once there was a student who did an experiment.

It was for his psychology class in college.

He wanted to see if he could “fake” being famous.

Or what would happen if he could.

So he got a crew together.

They each had a “role.”

One guy was a cameraman.

Another two guys pretended to be his bodyguards.

And another two females were his publicists.

He went to a local mall, and everybody played their part.

He even made up his name.

His publicists referred to this fake name as if it were a household name.

And said something vague like, “Fake Name is doing research for a future project.”

Pretty soon the whole mall was buzzing.

A crowd was following him, people were filming him, tweeting him and posting about him.

And they were all posting his name as if it were a famous, household name.

A name that had been made up from thin air only a couple hours ago.

The punch line, of course, is we humans pay MUCH more attention to structure than we like to believe.

So when we see the structure of fame, (a crew of people, bodyguards, pretty girls acting as publicists) we assume that he’s famous.

Even if we nor our friends have ever heard of the guy.

Because of the STRUCTURE of his behavior, we treat him (or would treat him) like a rock star.

So what’s the deeper punch line?

If you want to be important, you need to look important?

That’s one way.

But hiring a fake crew to follow you everywhere is kind of expensive.

But talking is free.

And you can talk in a way that can IMPLY social proof and authority.

So even if you’re all by your lonesome, you can carefully drop some presuppositions into your language.

So your listener will naturally ASSUME you’ve got massive social proof and authority.

But since it will be subconscious, it will feel like they discovered it on their own.

They’ll even think it’s their secret.

Even better is it will have the SAME EFFECT of having a crew of people around you all the time.

Learn How:

Seven Laws

All People Obey

Stanford Prison Experiment

One of the more infamous psychological experiments is the Stanford Experiment.

It was done back in the seventies, and the results were horrifying.

So much so that a few movies have been made about it.

It all started with a professor who wanted to see how people “get into” assigned roles.

He recruited several students from Stanford (hence the study name).

They were going to pretend to be in a prison.

They were going to be randomly assigned roles.

Some prisoners, some guards.

He wanted to see how much (or little) they “got into” their roles.

But they got into it so much, they had to stop the experiment before they’d planned.

Guards become evil.

Prisoners started to have nervous breakdowns.

Only a few days before, they were all students.

They got SO MUCH into their roles, they actually lost themselves.

The “guards” started to get close to torture.

Most of the time, we don’t realize how much “authority” has an effect on us.

Even when both “pretend guards” and “pretend prisoners” KNEW that their authority was fake, it still worked.

So much that a lot of the “prisoners” had to undergo counseling after the experiment was finished.

Of course, this experiment was set up in a horrific way to begin with.

Authority inside of a prison, where there is no escape.

Authority in and of itself is neutral.

If you assume the authority of a prison guard, you’re going to act like a prison guard.

But you can assume any authority you want.

An authority on excitement, for example.

Or an authority on the best clubs in town.

But you don’t need a huge experimental set up.

You can do it linguistically.

Hypnotically.

And YOU don’t need to “be” the authority.

You only need to reference one.

Which is incredibly easy.

And when you attach an authority to any of your ideas (or to you, if you like) they will seem much more compelling.

Just be careful not to abuse it.

Because it is VERY easy to.

Learn More:

Seven Laws

Treachery Is Everywhere

The Ultimate Origin Story

Lately there have been a lot of comic book characters getting a lot of attention.

Both “Universes” (DC and Marvel) have their own big plans.

And many lesser known comic book characters have been popping up.

If they look back on Western Culture in a couple thousand years, they’ll see our comic book heroes the same way we view Greek Mythology.

They share essentially the same archetypes.

Even non-superhero movies share a similar archetype.

That of the “Hero’s Journey.”

Even movies that don’t have anything to do with heroes of any kind follow this main template.

Something “non-normal” happens to a “normal” guy or gal, they have to step up their game and take care of business.

Whether it’s a coming of age story of a junior high school girl or a farm boy going out into space to blow up the Death Star, the structure is the same.

Funny thing is that most people focus on the hero, or the his or her journey.

After all, that’s where all the action takes place.

That’s the reason for the story in the first place.

But the interesting thing is that in nearly every single hero’s journey, the hero is CALLED.

And most of the time, they don’t have a choice.

Even then, they are often called, they refuse the call, and then they are put into a position where they HAVE to take the journey.

In fact, this “call and refusal” is in most hero’s journey stories.

It’s an essential element.

Some say this is an echo of being born.

We were safely in the womb, and the birth contractions started.

As if we said, “NO F-ing way! I’m not going out there!”

But then we HAD to.

Boom.

Welcome to Earth.

The cool thing about being a grown up is you can play both sides.

You can still be “called” to go on journeys.

And you can call others.

At the same time, everybody wants to BE a hero, but we all NEED a hero to help us along.

You can be both.

Learn How:

Cult Leader

True Leadership

Awaken Your Inner Leader

We humans are pretty clever.

We are always trying to sneak our way around things.

Some shortcuts are cool.

If you can find a legitimately quicker way of doing something, that requires LESS effort and gets the SAME result, that’s a good way to make a lot of money.

Some shortcuts are different.

Some are dangerous, like when you’re driving across the country and try a shortcut and end up in Children of the Corn.

Then you’re chased around by little demon kids with knives.

That can suck.

Another way that shortcuts can suck is we convince ourselves we are getting the SAME result, but we really aren’t.

A lot of the “authority” we see in society is like this.

Everybody LOVES the idea of “having authority,” but few people like the idea of “getting” authority.

Authority is one of the laws of influence.

If somebody in authority says something, we tend to believe it without question.

And people LOVE the idea of being able to tell people what to do WITHOUT them questioning them.

So we come with plenty of convoluted ways to “get” authority, but it’s really only “pretend” authority.

When something SERIOUS happens, those “authority” figures don’t turn out to be helpful.

And they only want their “authority” so long as they are getting paid.

But humans will always crave real authority.

Most of the “authority” figures in today’s society is like sugar.

If all you ate were bowls of sugar, you might believe you were eating regular food.

It tastes good, it gives you energy, but in the long run, it will kill you.

After a while your body is STARVED for real nutrients. Protein, fat, vitamins.

Just like people in today’s society are STARVED for REAL authority.

Not the kind that is authority for it’s own sake.

Or the authority that needs a gun to back it up.

But REAL authority.

When you can speak with REAL authority, people will follow you.

Where?

That’s up to you.

You can get people to follow you anywhere, so long as you are willing to lead.

In most cases, if ALL you did was LEAD your own life, people would follow.

Learn How:

Cult Leader

Falling Into Sharks

How To Decipher Human Behavior

One of the curiosities of human nature is that being able to make sense of the world around us seems to be our prime directive.

It doesn’t seem this way, because this idea happens on a very deep subconscious level.

It’s as if the circuitry in our brains is incapable of coming to the conclusion that our world is purely random.

Even when we say, “Just because,” we REALLY don’t mean “just because.”

When we say that, it’s usually equivalent to “there’s some reason, but I don’t know what it is, and I’m not really interested in taking the time to find out.”

Because think of what it might mean if there really WERE something that really WERE purely random.

Since our entire universe is based on laws of science that are not only ALWAYS true, but ALWAYS true in the same way, we can’t fathom the idea of “randomness.”

It’s like in our brain we have a “divide by zero” alert. We HAVE to come up with a reason for EVERYTHING.

The problem comes when the REAL REASON truly is beyond our comprehension.

But unless we’re shrugging it off as “just because” we NEED to find a reason.

Something else comes into play as well.

Since our brains are organs that need energy, they’re always trying to economize.

So when it has a choice of spending a LOT of brainpower, or coming up with a simple answer, the simple answer, even if it doesn’t feel good, might be “better” than spending a bunch of energy trying to come up with a complicated answer.

Here’s a quick example.

We’re walking down the street, we smile at somebody, and they don’t smile back.

Our brain can spend a LOT of energy trying to calculate the REASON they didn’t smile back.

Remember, it can’t come back with a “no reason” answer, on a subconscious level that’s like a “divide by zero” error in Excel.

So what’s the EASIEST answer?

Usually it has to do with US not being good enough for THEM.

Problem is that on one hand, this SEEMS like the correct answer.

So it satisfies the “easy and quick logical answer” our brains crave.

But on the other hand, it’s almost IMPOSSIBLE to be correct.

There are just TOO MANY variables to calculate.

Or at least that’s what we think.

In reality, most people are VERY SIMPLE.

We run by simple triggers that spur us to action, and we are blinded by simple biases that keep us from seeing things.

And when you understand what these are, you’ll have a SIGNIFICANT understanding of human nature.

Which means your brain will start coming up with MUCH BETTER answers when it comes to deciphering other people’s behaviors.

Learn How:

Cult Leader

Sheeple Are Everywhere - Lead Them

Leave Average Ideas Behind

Life is filled with tons of complex ideas.

But in order to make sense of these, we have to use approximations.

Metaphors, models, etc.

If you have the correct model for any system, it’s pretty easy to predict what’s going to happen.

But if you have the WRONG model, nothing makes sense.

Whenever we are trying to figure out what any group of people are going to do, we need to know their intentions.

This can be difficult, especially when most of the time WE ourselves don’t really know WHY we do certain things.

In fact, the “go-to” response for ANY kid when he gets into trouble is to say, “I don’t know,” when asked WHY he did that.

Even grownups use this handy excuse!

But here’s a useful model to use whenever thinking in terms of groups.

All groups of humans (and even all mammals) organize in a hierarchy.

This happens automatically.

Which means something that is ALWAYS on EVERYBODY’S mind is wondering WHO is in charge.

The truth is that most people are just not that comfortable thinking on their own.

Few people will EVER take responsibility when something goes wrong.

Which is why MOST PEOPLE you will meet in your life will be content to follow others.

It’s safe, it’s easy, it’s comfortable.

That’s good enough for most folks.

It’s also pretty boring, and VERY average.

If you want to BE above average, you’ve got to ACT above average.

Instead of being content to follow, you’ve got to LEAD.

Even if you ONLY want to LEAD your own life, this requires NOT sitting around and waiting for somebody to tell you what to do.

This requires you figure out what’s what, and start making moves.

Own all the results, good and bad, and keep learning and moving.

Funny thing is, once you start to LEAD your own life, people will naturally start to follow you.

Once that happens, you’ll have a lot more options.

All it takes you develop the inner “energy” of a natural leader.

Whether you’re building an empire, or a weekend hobby club, it’s a lot easier with “leader energy” and loyal followers.

Learn How:

Cult Leader

Split Open Their Mind

Awaken Their Most Powerful Instinct

One of things that causes us the most problems is having a “mismatch” of our instincts and our modern world.

This is pretty easy to understand when it comes to something like hunger.

An “instinct” that makes us hungry any time we see or smell food, even if we weren’t hungry before.

Back when it took a lot of effort (and sometimes a lot of risk) to GET food, this was a healthy trait.

It kept us always searching for food.

Imagine if we NEVER felt hungry, no matter what!

Sure, if you’d like to lose a few pounds, this may be a dream come true.

But what if you not only never got hungry, but food tasted totally neutral?

If you HAD to remember to EAT?

Most people wouldn’t think about it, and we’d all be rail thin.

Luckily, we HAVE a never-ending desire to eat.

And plenty of other instincts as well.

But like hunger, one of our big problems in modern society is we STILL have these ancient instincts.

Many of them are very subtle, and they operate outside of our conscious awareness.

When you are OVERLY obedient to your “hunger instinct” it’s pretty hard NOT to notice.

But many of these other instincts operate in a way so we NEVER realize what’s happening.

However, some people DO understand these ancient instincts, and understand them VERY WELL.

And they tend to USE them in clever ways.

One of our PRIMARY instincts is to follow somebody who “resonated” genuine authority.

Most of our instincts were put together long ago, when most of us were nomads.

And nomads need a leader.

Without a strong leader, any ancient tribe was lost.

But the lucky tribes who had a STRONG leader, they’d follow him or her to the ends of the Earth.

And just like our hunger instinct, all humans are hard wired to CRAVE the feeling of being near a naturally authoritative and strong leader.

Of course, we don’t need to follow crazy people out into the wilderness.

What would be a modern equivalent of a “tribe” of people following a strong “tribal” leader?

The inspirational coach who leads a team of misfits to a championship.

The genius business person to leads a company to greatness.

The mesmerizing storytellers (actors, directors, writers) who lead our emotions to wonderful places.

Why not YOU?

Learn More:

Cult Leader