Starting Conversations With Girls is Easier Than You Think
So you want to talk to girls, do you? Well, it’s easy. Walk up and start talking! Just kidding. Some guys would LOVE to walk up to ten or twenty cuties every single day, but are petrified to even say hi. This post will not only help you blast away that anxiety for good, but be a smooth operator so she’s glad you came over.
Now, before we get into the nuts and bolts, there’s two types of conversations with girls. Those where you just show up, and those when you’re invited over. We’ll be focusing on the ones where you get invited over.
For one, you’re getting many, many more invitations than you realize (more on that later). Two is just that it’s so much easier, and less nerve wracking, when you’ve got a warm lead, and a cold lead. Borrowing some sales language, warm leads are people who are already interested in your product or service. Cold leads are people who don’t even know your product or service exists.
For example, if you worked in a cell phone store, people that came walking in would be considered warm leads, and would be much more interested in buying a phone. Selling vacuum cleaners door to door, on the other hand, would be hard as hell, because most people don’t sit around at home wishing for a new vacuum cleaner.
Talking to girls is the same way. When you get an invite, it’s just so much easier. Once you get the hang of this, and see how easy it really is, you can start walking up to all those gorgeous girls you see on the street everyday and work your magic.
An IO What? This is pickup lingo for “Indicators of Interest.” The name of the game is this. Girls send out indicators of interest. Guys pick up on them, and go over and talk to them. At least most of the time. There are some girls who are brave enough or self confident enough to start chatting up guys, but those girls are few and far between.
So to begin with, you’re going to have to learn to notice those indicators of interest. Luckily, though, they are EVERYWHERE!
Any time she makes eye contact with you, that’s good. That means she knows you exist. If she makes eye contact with you and doesn’t break if off right way, or doesn’t puke on her shoes, that’s even better. Even better if she looks at you, and then actually holds eye contact for a bit.
To make double sure she’s interested and she’d be open for a conversation, give her a brief smile, or slightly raise your eyebrows really quickly. Think of this as the initial “ping” that submarines do. If she pings you back, that’s fantastic. You’re ready to go.
A great way to practice this is to just make it a point to smile at every girl who makes eye contact with you. At first it will seem supers scary, but it gets pretty easy pretty quickly.
Think of it as working out at the gym. Eye contact, smile. Eye contact, smile. Go to the mall or anywhere that people are moving around, and just hit ten or twenty girls in about thirty minutes or so.
If she’s stationery, and kind of far away, you can tell if she’s game if she’s “pointing” her body at you, but facing somewhere else. Just make an excuse to move closer to her, and give her some eye contact, and a quick smile, and see what she does. If she smiles back, make a move son!
Most guys make this WAY too complicated. They try and think of the most witty, impressive one liners. The truth is that she’s just as nervous as you. If you make the opener too complicated, she’ll actually feel put “on the spot,” as if she’s supposed to respond in a certain way.
Just be open, honest, and simple. Just basically start off by mentioning what just happened. Then mention what’s happening. Something like this is perfect:
“Hi, I’m George (except use your OWN name!), I noticed you from over there and you seemed interesting, so I thought I’d come and introduce myself. What’s up?”
Now, the cold harsh truth is that some girls will change their minds after they hear you talk. Maybe you’re too nervous, and you’re making her nervous. Maybe she imagined you were a certain way, and you come across the total opposite. Don’t worry.
How will you know? She’ll suddenly turn from friendly to cold. It doesn’t mean she’s mean, or a bitch, or trying to hurt your feelings. It just means her feelings changed for some reason. Not your fault. Not her fault. Just accept it gracefully and move on.
But most of the time, she’ll be open enough to get the ball rolling. She’ll respond with something about the same as you. She’ll tell you what’s up, and expect you to carry the conversation, since you were the one that made the first move.
Don’t worry, it’s easy.
The Magic Of Pacing Statements
To begin with, you want to get the ball rolling with “pacing statements.” These are just statements that are objectively true. The music is loud. The lights are purple. It’s snowing outside. The Mets just won the World Series. Whatever. The purpose of these are NOT to impress her. They are ONLY give her easy things to deal with, and to get her thinking “yes…yes…yes…” in her mind.
While you are doing this, you want to match her body language, but not too much. If she’s sitting with her legs crossed, you cross your legs, but not exactly in the same way. If she’s leaning slightly to the side, you do the same.
This is called “rapport” what it does is create a deep feeling of similarity between you two. It just makes it easier. Don’t invade her space, and don’t overwhelm her with all kinds of magic tricks or super complicated openers. At this stage, your just showing her how easy and normal it is to talk to you.
Once you’ve done this for a few minutes, it’s time to move on to the next level.
Whenever moving the conversation in new directions, avoid putting her on the spot. It’s a good idea to answer any questions ahead of time, before you ask her.
Instead of firing off questions like you’re interrogating her, simply make a few statements about your own interests, and then ask her how she feels on the subject.
For example, if you happen to be in a club and there’s band playing classic rock, and you like banjo music, tell her that you like banjo music, and tell her a few songs that you like. Then ask her what kind of music she likes. She’ll be much more willing to open up if you open up first.
Follow Up On Her Trance Words
Whenever she starts talking, pay close attention to how she says certain words. It’s pretty easy to get an idea of the things she’s really interested in. Once you find a few of these, ask some follow up questions that are open ended.
Just keep asking questions, based on her own ideas and stories, to help you dig further into her mind.
Whenever possible, get her talking about her ideal future. Now, don’t start out by asking her what her ideal future is, that sounds too corny.
But if she’s talking about school, and she mentions she wants to be a nurse, then say something like this:
“OK, imagine you go to nursing school, and everything works out perfectly. What kind of job do you have in five years from now?”
If you can get her talking about something she wants, that’s out in the future, she’ll unconsciously connect it to you on a deep level. This is pretty good!
All during this whole process, you want to find as many similarities as you can. But be careful you don’t overly agree with everything she says. Just look for important things that she likes, and you also like. If you’re honest, this will go a long way.
Also, don’t be afraid to disagree. Many guys are terrified that they’ll turn her off if they disagree with anything she says. Just accept that she likes cats, and you like dogs, or whatever.
Relax, look around, and find signs of interest. Go and introduce yourself. Start talking about anything that’s true. Reveal your interests. Ask her interests. Go slow. Enjoy yourself. Keep this up, and you’ll soon have more girls than you know what to do with!
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