Category Archives: Congruence

Embrace The Unknown

Powerful One Two Charismatic Punch

Often there is a HUGE chasm between the thoughts and ideas in our heads, and the words that come out of our mouths.

One of the mainstays of a comedy is some character that says something really goofy, gets embarrassed, and then says, “That didn’t come out right…”

Just that we understand that’s funny means it’s a common human experience.

Having clear ideas in mind, but they come out as jumbled up nonsense.

Most of the time, though, we tend to overlook the main issue.

We think if we ONLY had the words, it would be easy.

But when it comes to human communication, words are just the icing on the cake.

How we express those ideas inside our heads takes a LOT MORE than just words.

And most of the time, the words themselves are not the most important part.

Meaning if you have an “understandable enough” set of words, but the underlying energy is positive, attractive and charismatic, you’re good to go.

You might even consider that the feeling of “not having the right words” to be an EFFECT rather than a cause.

Consider that the cause might be the not having the right “frame” to speak from.

As humans tend to do, we often misunderstand the relationship between cause and effect.

It’s easy to get them backward.

But here’s the cool part.

If you take the time to build up the “frame” (which contains all the positive attractive energy) the words can take care of themselves.

Even better, when you combine the right “frame” WITH the right words, you can be unstoppable.

Learn How:

Stop Manipulation

Bam! Pow!

Ninja Language Patterns

We humans use a lot of vagueness.

Both in our thinking, and our language.

We have to.

There is just TOO much stuff going on inside and outside to communicate otherwise.

There’s a movie called “The Usual Suspects.”

It’s considered a classic, or even a cult favorite.

But the MEANING of the movie is VERY vague.

So much so that when the writer and the director finished making the movie, and were ready to go on the press tour, they had a HUGE fight.

One guy had the impression that most of the movie was TRUE, (meaning the events in the movie actually happened) and only a little bit was imaginary.

On the other hand, the other guy thought most of the movie was a HALLUCINATION of one of the characters, and very little was actually true.

If you’ve seen the movie, you can get this.

You can see BOTH interpretations when you see it.

Either mostly real, or mostly a hallucination.

This is one of the problems with vague language and vague thinking.

It’s also one of our BIGGEST weak points.

Because when something is wrong, we tend to IMAGINE the worst.

That’s how we managed to survive in our very ancient and very harsh environment.

If our ancestors had always assumed the BEST, we would have died out a long time ago.

So we’re kind of stuck with that “imagine the worst” response to vague and unknown things.

Which can make us vulnerable, if somebody KNOWS how to push our buttons.

All they have to do is LOOK at us funny, and we’ll imagine all kinds of horrible things.

Even worse if they say something that’s even a little mean, but still kind of vague.

They might let out a sigh, roll their eyes and say, “I KNEW you were doing to do that.”

Even if we’ve done NOTHING, that simple and VERY VAGUE statement can make us feel horrible.

Luckily, there is a VERY POWERFUL way to defend against any kind of VAGUE statement.

So simple it will make people that toss insults quake in their boots.

It’s easy to learn, and simple to use.

And once you TEACH the world HOW to respond to you, they will

Learn How:

Stop Manipulation

Blast Their Brains With Hypnotic Love

How To Point Their Desire

All action follows the same structure.

It’s the same as any voluntary trade.

The thing we want is more valuable (as we subjectively see it) than the thing we have.

Whether you’re trading your peanut butter sandwich for an ice cream cone, or ten bucks for a happy meal, the process is the same.

You want what you don’t have more than what you do have.

If you can find somebody who is a match, they want what YOU hove more than what they have, you’ll trade.

This is instinctive.

It’s been happening since ancient tribes met other ancient tribes, and on every playground in every school on Earth.

Even when we do things, we imagine that our future state (after we do whatever we are contemplating) is going to be BETTER than our present state.

Otherwise we wouldn’t do it.

Many times we aren’t so sure. The future would be good IF we know some “bad things” wouldn’t happen. But those “bad things” are uncertain, so the probability of the future state is uncertain.

You think you MIGHT like that new restaurant, for example, but on the other hand, you might spend the time and money and it might suck.

Whenever you are persuading somebody to do something, we face the same problem.

We are trying to convince them to take some kind of action, to change their state.

The better we can do that, to convince them the new state (that we are suggesting) is better than their current state, the more persuasive we’ll be.

People that are naturally good at this (persuading people to take action) are generally pretty popular and make a ton of money.

The truth is that most of us LOVE to follow directions from somebody who knows what they are talking about.

Especially when it’s clear they’ve got OUR interests in mind.

It’s like they’re doing our thinking for us, but not in an evil dictator kind of way.

A way that shows us how safe and comfortable it is to move toward whatever it is we want.

Which means that knowing how to do this can come in VERY handy.

Coming up with a couple of stories that can increase people’s desires in whatever direction you want to point is very useful skill.

Where should we point their desires?

Anywhere you want!

Learn How:

Hypnotic Sales

All In Your Mind

How To Calibrate Your Energy

I used to work in this huge lab.

We had all kinds of expensive equipment used for measuring all kinds of stuff.

Each one had to be calibrated.

Some every day, some once a year.

There was another lab, (with one guy) and his only job was to make sure the calibration of all the stuff (in my lab and in the other labs) was all up to date.

We made stuff that was regulated by the FDA, and they’d pop in unannounced every once in a while and check.

How do you calibrate something?

Compare it to a standard.

For example, one of the units of measure for pressure is millimeters of mercury.

A glass column filled with liquid mercury will exert a certain pressure relative to the height.

So you increase the actual column height of the actual mercury, and then compare that to how the electronic pressure gauge is reading.

You can calibrate people the same way.

This is one of those exercises people do in NLP seminars.

Ask a person two questions, and get them to tell the truth on one, and lie on the other.

The idea is you relax your mind, defocus your eyes, you can read the difference their energy between lying and telling the truth.

If you do a few times by calibrating (knowing when they are lying so you can accurately measure they’re “lying energy”), then you can have fun.

It’s a lot easier than people think.

The thing about us humans is we’ve been around a long time, and been effectively communicating with one another LONG BEFORE spoken language was invented.

But if ALL you focus on is spoken language, you’ll mist over NINETY PERCENT of people’s true message.

Think about the difference between really GOOD actors and really TERRIBLE actors.

Both are given the words to say. Both are told HOW to say those words.

But some are really good, (and are worth millions) and some are not so good.

What’s the difference?

Inner congruence. We believe the million dollar actors.

The straight to streaming actors, not so much.

How do you develop that inner congruence?

By accepting and appreciating ALL your energy.

Few people ever consider this.

Most folks only know they have good stuff, and bad stuff.

They chase the good stuff, and ignore anything that causes discomfort, anxiety, or fear.

But if you appreciate ALL your energy, and learn to express it through all of your communication, there is magic.

Learn More:

Sex Transmutation

Quantum Love

Both Sides Of Metaphysics

In Quantum Physics they have a metaphor called “The Great Smoky Dragon.”

It refers to the idea that at its most basic, fundamental level, the nature of reality is not measurable.

Meaning any kind of system has a lot of components.

When talking about a particle, it’s got mass, spin, charge, direction, momentum (which is a function of mass and speed).

But the MORE you know any one of those, the LESS you can know the other.

This is different than taking the temperature of a pot of hot water.

When you do that, you lower the water by soaking some of the heat into the thermometer.

But matter, at it’s fundamental level can only exist as a probability wave in some parts, and a physical entity in other parts.

It CAN be pure probability wave, but it can NEVER be wholly physical.

The Great Smoky Dragon metaphor is the idea that you can see the dragon’s head, you can see the dragon’s tail, but the middle is a vague puff of smoke.

Most people are aware of the idea that we are “not physical beings having a spiritual experience, but spiritual beings having a physical experience.”

But what if that’s not accurate?

What if that is only a metaphor, like the smoky dragon is a metaphor (which is a metaphor with a metaphor since dragons are metaphorical creatures).

What if the “other side,” we are really spiritual creatures having a physical experience, but on “this side” we are physical creatures having a spiritual experience?

One thing about metaphors if that if you start to think they are REAL, you can get into trouble.

What if your boss said that you’ve got to go and kill some dragons.

But he was metaphorically referring to taking market share from your competition.

Only you thought he was being literal, and you showed up with your dragon killing tools.

You’d look pretty silly!

They say that before you become enlightened, you have to chop wood and carry water.

And after enlightenment, you still gotta chop wood and carry water.

So what’s the point?

Maybe the point is that chopping wood and carrying water AFTER being “enlightened” is a lot better.

That’s why any kind of system should be accessible from both perspectives.

Both your “enlightened self” and your “unenlightened self” is going to need an ax and bucket.

And any other tools you use to help you succeed should address both sides.

Luckily, the energy (just like the wood and the water) that makes up both sides is the same.

Learn More:

Sex Transmutation

Supernova Of Money

Follow The Yellow Brick Road

There’s a cool story I’ve read a couple times that I recommend.

It’s called, “The Alchemist,” by Paulo Coelho, and is about a kid who wants to discover the secret of turning sand into gold (alchemy.)

It’s short, easy to read, and very metaphorical.

And like many literary metaphors, there are a lot of ways to interpret it.

It’s got a lot of common themes.

One is that the goal of alchemy is about turning sand into gold. And if you can turn sand into gold, you can get rich with a lot of work.

Paradoxically, to FIND OUT how to do that, you have to do a LOT of work.

The hero went on a journey around the world, fell in love, met lots of cool people and learned a lot of worthwhile, real money-making skills, but ignored them since he was looking for an easy way to turn sand into gold.

Finally he gave up and came home.

And found that he had a huge chunk of gold hidden under his own house.

THAT common metaphor pops up all over the place.

To go out LOOKING for something that you had the whole time.

In the Wizard of Oz, for example, Dorothy and her buddies spent all that time and energy looking for the Wizard (who really was a fake) hoping he would send them home, when all she had to do was click her heels together.

(Interestingly enough, the whole story of the Wizard of Oz is a political metaphor regarding the dangers of going OFF the “gold standard.”)

Why do so many stories have that same theme?

Of searching all over Earth for the secrets of life, only to find that we HAD them inside us the whole time?

The same stories are told because they work.

And they work because they resonate with us.

We see truth in them.

We FEEL truth in them.

It’s like that goofy expression from the movie, Repo Man:

“No matter where you go, there you are.”

And no matter WHERE you go, or WHAT you are looking for, YOUR most powerful resource is ALWAYS within you.

Perhaps we are always looking OUTSIDE because deep down inside, we FEAR our power.

The cool thing is that WHENEVER you are ready to embrace it, it will be there, waiting for you.

Learn More:

Sex Transmutation

Play The Long Game

How To Play The Long Game

Imagine if it were only possible to imagine two days into the future.

No matter what else was going on, whenever somebody started referencing more than two days out, their voice would sound like garbled nonsense.

If you read anything that referred to anything more than two days out, it would shift into unintelligible scribbles.

If your boss told you to about a meeting next week, it would seem like he was speaking Martian.

On the other hand, if he told you about a meeting tomorrow morning, it would make perfect sense.

Actually, you wouldn’t go to work unless you got paid every other day.

If boss said anything like, “work here for a week or two and then we’ll pay you,” it would sound like, “work here for blah blah blah blah….” and you wouldn’t take the job.

Imagine if all the food you had went bad after two days.

It just disappeared or something.

Obviously, life would be horrible. You’d have to be committed to a nuthouse, since taking care of yourself under those conditions while living in a modern world would be impossible.

This goofy metaphor DOES, however, point out a very necessary ingredient in being able to live a successful life.

The more you can FEEL the results of your actions today FAR out into the future, the more likely you’ll succeed.

Imagine something as simple as weight loss.

If ALL you could tell was how the food tasted RIGHT NOW, it would be tough to eat healthy.

On the other hand, what if every bite of junk food you took came with a VERY REAL image of the results in two, three, five or even ten years.

For example, imagine each time you took a bite of a Big Mac you had a vision of having a heart attack, along with the actual chest pains.

And each time you took a bit of something healthy, you got a vision of yourself with a chiseled body in mirror, along with actually hearing the voice of sexy people whispering, “Nice body, baby!” in your ear.

You might even say that when it comes to building a successful life, the ability to weigh the impact of your actions you consider today ON your distant future is the most important.

They say that this was the shift that made ancient humans shift from hunting to gathering.

After all, hunting is very dangerous. Farming not so much.

But if you’re a hunter, you can kill and eat something TODAY.

If you’re a farmer, it takes a LONG TIME to get going.

Luckily, building in this skill, of developing a LONG VISION, to help you choose the best actions to take, is easy.

And like any other skill, the more you practice, the better you’ll get.

Get Started:

Entrepreneurial Mind

Money Money Money

How Many Problems Can You Solve?

How do you get money?

There are only a few proven ways.

One is you could find it. Go out looking, and hope you get lucky.

This CAN work, but it’s not very sustainable.

You could get it as a gift. This strategy tends to work for little kids around their birthday.

Adults, not so much.

You could steal it, (or otherwise con people) but that’s not very sustainable either.

You could just walk up to people and ask for it, but people tend to be a little sketchy when strangers walk up to them on the street and ask them for money.

And supposed they asked, “OK, what do I get?”

Turns out, this is actually the most consistent way to get money.

Just figure out what people want, and figure a way to get it to them.

Everybody has problems they need solving.

The more effectively YOU can solve their problems, the more you can get paid.

It’s actually pretty simple.

Aside from government coercion and corruption (of which there is plenty, unfortunately) this same method is how most fortunes were made.

Old school railroad guys solve the problem of travel.

Before they railroads were made, travel was slow.

The problem was, “I want to visit grandma in Kentucky, but it will take us a week to get there.”

Railroad people who solved this problem made a ton of money.

They made it easy to get to Kentucky (or wherever) in a couple of hours instead of a couple of days.

What about JK Rowling, the Harry Potter lady.

What problem did she solve?

“I’m bored, there’s nothing on TV.”

That’s what!

Everybody has a collection of experiences, an imagination, and ideas on how to help others.

And everybody also has a collection of problems that need solving.

Combine those together in an information age, and you’ve got a MASSIVE global economy.

Get in the game, and get paid.

Learn How:

Entrepreneurial Mind

Who Ordered The Brains?

The Structure Of Success

When I was a kid I love science.

Still do.

So when it came time to choose a major, I chose physics.

For a while, everything was pretty cool.

Until I hit those upper division classes.

With really difficult math.

At first I freaked.

I didn’t know if I could handle it.

I almost changed my major.

But I finally decided to stick with it.

And by going really slowly, and spending a lot of time studying, I finally managed to escape with a degree.

And once I figured out the “trick” to learning difficult math, it was easy.

Not easy, easy, but easier than I thought.

Before, I would listen to lectures, do the homework, and that was it.

And them cram for a couple hours before the exams.

But with those upper division classed, I had to change my strategy.

I found myself spending a few hours each weekend.

I needed to in order to keep up.

But once I got the “rhythm” it was normal again.

Meaning I didn’t worry, I just had to “re-calibrate” my studying frequency and duration.

And every other class after that was the same.

Since I’d learned the “study structure” of one class, I could apply it to all classes.

I’ve found the same thing is true in a lot of areas.

Once you step back and look at the “structure” you can apply the same “structure” to other things.

Kind of how you learn to ride one bike, you can pretty much ride all other bikes, so long as they have the same structure.

This is how our brains are wired. This is why we can live anywhere on Earth, even back before electricity and even agriculture.

Finding food, shelter, and staying away from dangerous animals has a similar structure.

Do it near the equator, you can do it at the north pole.

Sure, the content is different (predators, food, shelter) but the structure is the same.

Learning anything, skills, subjects, communication strategies, once you get the structure down, you can repeat it as often as you like.

Learn How:

End Self Sabotage

Mountain Climbing Metaphor

Circles or Straight Lines?

They say you can’t step in the same river twice.

Meaning every second that passes by, the river is changing.

The fish, the rocks and sand on the bottom, the amount of water is always in flux.

So too are us humans.

Once in chemistry class, the professor told us to close our eyes and think of a deceased person we admire.

I thought of my grandfather.

Then he told us to take a slow breath, and then open our eyes.

He told us that we’d just inhaled at least one molecule, (the very same one) that the person we’d just thought of had inhaled in their lives.

Then he explained all about the volume of our atmosphere, how many breaths we take, etc, and why what he’d just told us was statistically likely.

Scientists tell us that every seven years or so, all the atoms and molecules in our body are replaced.

Kind of like on Star Trek, when they beam themselves around, only in slow motion.

All the thoughts in your mind that make up your personality are continuously being updated.

So even who you ARE (when you think of “I”) is always changing.

Life, and every part of it, is a never ending process.

Always changing.

If you could take all those endless changes, and line them up, what would you produce?

Something magnificent.

On the other hand, if you took all those changes, and arranged them in a circle, you might find yourselves in the same place a few years or even a decade from now.

Either way, it’s up to you.

But it takes courage, and dedication.

You have to take small actions on a daily basis that are just a hair outside of your comfort zone.

But if you take your time to plan those actions, you’ll be surprised how quickly things add up.

No matter where you are or who you are or what you have or haven’t accomplished, the best time to start is now.

Learn How:

Stop Self Sabotage