Tag Archives: frame control

All People Obey

Stanford Prison Experiment

One of the more infamous psychological experiments is the Stanford Experiment.

It was done back in the seventies, and the results were horrifying.

So much so that a few movies have been made about it.

It all started with a professor who wanted to see how people “get into” assigned roles.

He recruited several students from Stanford (hence the study name).

They were going to pretend to be in a prison.

They were going to be randomly assigned roles.

Some prisoners, some guards.

He wanted to see how much (or little) they “got into” their roles.

But they got into it so much, they had to stop the experiment before they’d planned.

Guards become evil.

Prisoners started to have nervous breakdowns.

Only a few days before, they were all students.

They got SO MUCH into their roles, they actually lost themselves.

The “guards” started to get close to torture.

Most of the time, we don’t realize how much “authority” has an effect on us.

Even when both “pretend guards” and “pretend prisoners” KNEW that their authority was fake, it still worked.

So much that a lot of the “prisoners” had to undergo counseling after the experiment was finished.

Of course, this experiment was set up in a horrific way to begin with.

Authority inside of a prison, where there is no escape.

Authority in and of itself is neutral.

If you assume the authority of a prison guard, you’re going to act like a prison guard.

But you can assume any authority you want.

An authority on excitement, for example.

Or an authority on the best clubs in town.

But you don’t need a huge experimental set up.

You can do it linguistically.

Hypnotically.

And YOU don’t need to “be” the authority.

You only need to reference one.

Which is incredibly easy.

And when you attach an authority to any of your ideas (or to you, if you like) they will seem much more compelling.

Just be careful not to abuse it.

Because it is VERY easy to.

Learn More:

Seven Laws

Dream Big Baby

Interest Rates and Fantasies

Some of the laws of economics are pretty simple to understand.

It can get VERY complicated, but it doesn’t have to.

And on a personal level, economics is inseparable from basic human behavior.

The crux of interest rates, a pretty complex subject, has to do with how humans think about desires and time.

We’d rather have something NOW than later, all else equal.

Because we want it more NOW than later, something “later” has to be worth MORE if we were to not get it now.

In terms of dollars and cents, we’d like to have a hundred bucks today, OR if we had to wait a week, we might accept a hundred a ten bucks.

This is the reason why we have things like interest rates.

Why when you borrow money, you have to give back more than what you got.

Theoretically, the person loaning you the money wants to keep his money.

And the only way he’ll loan it to you is you give him back slightly MORE in the future.

In a sense, the difference is the “cost” of money.

Like you have to pay ten bucks to rent somebody’s money for a year.

Of course, when you involve central banks and debt based money, it gets pretty complicated.

But the idea of thinking about things in the FUTURE is very compelling.

Things that we don’t have, but we want.

Unfortunately, we rarely get an opportunity to talk about those things.

Even if you were hanging out with your friends, and started talking about your ideal future, they wouldn’t support you a hundred percent.

Even family members tend to get a bit sketchy when talking about ideal futures.

Most people have a very vague idea of their ideal future.

But at the same time they have a ton of anxiety.

This is why few people ever set real goals.

The idea of achieving a goal is pretty cool.

But the idea of trying and failing is pretty real, so people tend to not think about it.

Which is why if YOU started to talk about your ideal future, they would start to feel uneasy.

A lot of times, this is where all their judgement comes from.

When they start telling you WHY you shouldn’t dream big like that.

But here’s the thing.

You can flip the switch.

Meaning don’t talk about YOUR ideal future, talk about theirs.

Carefully elicit it, and get them talking about the absolute BEST thing they hope will happen.

Most people don’t even think in such specific terms about their own future.

Let alone be asked about it by somebody else.

Why do this?

Because after that simple conversation with you, they will see YOU as different from every other human on Earth.

And when they think of you, they’ll subconsciously associate their biggest dreams and fantasies.

Think that would be useful?

Learn More:

Secret Agent Persuasion

Fantasy Land OF her Mind

Fly Under Her Radar

Girls love it when guys chase them.

Especially guys they like.

They KNOW that as soon as they send a text, his mind will be spinning in circles trying to figure out the best way to respond.

And when it comes to sex, the language they use (with other girls) explains EXACTLY how they feel about the power dynamic.

“Maybe I’ll LET HIM f–k me after two weeks.”

Even when guys talk amongst themselves, they use this kind of language.

“I HOPE I get laid.”

Even that short phrase, “get laid” explains how guys view sex.

Lay is a transitive verb. A transitive verb requires an ACTOR and an OBJECT. You lay down and object. So when you say “get laid” you are referring to YOURSELF as the OBJECT.

For example, consider this sentence:

“I laid the book down on the table.”

You are the actor, the BOOK is the object.

Now this sentence:

“I hope I get laid.”

In this, the actor is UNSTATED. But the OBJECT is you.

Not the actor. An object HOPING to be MANIPULATED by an actor.

This is why when you FLIP THE SCRIPT, she won’t know WHAT the heck is going on.

Meaning you need to get HER thinking about YOU without her thinking YOU are trying to do that.

She has to FEEL LIKE it’s just “happening.”

This is the DREAM for women.

NOT to be “picked up” or “pursued” by some kind of player or PUA.

She wants to FEEL DESPERATE ATTRACTION and not know why.

This is what all those romance movies are about.

Not some PUA spitting game.

Some guy that she falls for and has NO IDEA why.

How do you do this?

The first step is to avoid all game type technology.

Speak in a way that sounds normal, but has DEEP SEDUCTIVE technology buried so far inside the language it’s undetectable.

But it works like magic.

Because it was INVENTED by the greatest hypnotist who ever lived.

And he was a MAGICIAN with people’s emotions.

Imagine what happens when you use them on cute girls?

Learn More:

Hypnotic Seduction

Animal Magnetism

Generate Attractive Magnetism

One way to become an incredibly compelling speaker is to create something called “response potential.”

Most people, when they stories, or jokes, are in a hurry to finish.

Then when they finish, they look around, usually hoping for approval.

Sure, if they’ve got a good story, or something interesting happened, this can work.

But it’s HIGHLY content dependent.

Like if you were walking to the dry cleaners and you saw a bank robbery, you wouldn’t have to do much to be the center of attention.

“Hey, I saw a bank robbery this morning!” Would be all you needed to say. And everybody would be DYING to hear more.

Most people are always on the lookout for CONTENT. They even think that because they don’t have good CONTENT, then they can’t be a good conversationalist.

“I never have anything to talk about.”

But the GOOD NEWS is while people like content on a conscious level, we are DRAWN to structure on a subconscious level.

Meaning if you tell a story with good structure, you don’t need decent content.

What kind of structure?

Pause in the middle of sentences, where they don’t usually belong. Where people will SUBCONSCIOUSLY want to hear you “finish the thought.”

Break your stories up, get just up to the climax of one story, and start telling another one.

This is why world famous comedians can tell stories about waiting in line at the supermarket and get paid millions of dollars.

It’s not the CONTENT of their stories, it’s the STRUCTURE.

So long as your stories and anecdotes have an emotionally compelling theme, you’ll be fine.

But the BIGGEST ingredient of telling a compelling story, and holding roomfuls of people in the palm of your hand is having a strong frame.

If you have even a basic story, like when you couldn’t find your shoes this morning, but tell it in a good structure AND with a strong frame, people will think you are incredibly charismatic.

What is a strong frame? It’s the meaning you put on the interaction. Of you telling that story.

If your frame is “I hope they don’t interrupt me and I hope somebody laughs,” then you won’t do so well.

But if your frame is “This is the funniest thing in the world, and I’m going to enjoy talking about it,” then YOUR frame will override everybody else’s frame.

This takes practice. It’s not some easy mental switch you can flip and call it good.

It is a skill. And like any other skill, the more you practice, the better you’ll get.

But most people don’t even know this skill exists, let alone how to practice it.

But you do.

Get Started:

Frame Control

Can You Make This?

The Recipe For Success

If you wanted to make a cake, you’d need certain ingredients.

Sure, it depends on the cake.

Once I made a chocolate cheesecake. Pretty simple. Cream cheese, sugar, and some chocolate sauce. Mix it up and Bob’s your Uncle.

Other cakes require a lot of preparation, and often times a lot of practice. Since there aren’t that many steps in making a chocolate cheesecake, and the steps are so simple even a goof like me can do it, you don’t need to practice.

Just read the recipe, and you’re good.

But if you were going to make some super complicated upside down strawberry souffle (whatever THAT is, lol) you’d need a LOT of skills.

Basically the more variables are involved, the more skills you need, and the more practice you need.

Think about something as simple as balancing a plate or spinning a basketball on your finger.

Not a lot of variables, so you could learn how in a few minutes.

Now think of something much more complicated like juggling chainsaws.

MANY variables, so you’d need a LOT more practice.

And not just practice doing the WHOLE thing, (juggling the chainsaws) but every individual component would need work.

Juggling itself. Handling a chainsaw. Spinning ONE chainsaw around, etc.

Life is THE MOST complicated thing you’ll ever do.

Sure, you can sit around and hope for good things to happen.

Many people do that. And many people don’t get much.

Or you can TAKE CONTROL of your own life. Decide what you want, and make THAT your life’s purpose.

Naturally, you’ll need a lot of skills.

You will NEVER get to the point where you have ENOUGH skills.

You will ALWAYS need to keep learning.

Most people don’t like hearing this. They’d rather be TOLD what to do, only have to do it ONCE, and then somehow sit back while the money keeps rolling in.

People that continue to create greatness know that’s just a fairy tale.

What skills do you need?

One is being able to bounce back from setbacks.

Because they will ALWAYS happen. If you aren’t getting setbacks, you are doing something wrong.

Because embedded in EVERY SINGLE SETBACK is a valuable lesson.

What lesson?

That’s up for you to decide, based on where you’re going, and based on what the setback is.

NOBODY is going to tell you.

Again, most people don’t hearing this.

They want to be led by the hand to riches, prosperity, six pack abs, and great sex with beautiful people.

One thing that will make bouncing back from setbacks MUCH easier is how you DEFINE them.

If each setback “means” that you suck, it will be hard to keep going.

But if you REFRAME setbacks to mean “I just learned something valuable,” then you’ll keep charging ahead.

Whether the setbacks come conversationally, or in complicated life situations.

The setbacks don’t control you, you control the setbacks.

To learn how, check this out:

Frame Control

The Biggest Skill of All

Here’s a quick and easy exercise that will help you maintain a strong frame.

Holding a frame is a skill like any other skill.

However, the way people talk about it, it can sound like there some “technique,” like how do I make a cherry cheesecake.

Once you’ve got the recipe down for a cherry cheesecake, it’s pretty easy.

But something like holding a frame, a skill, takes a lot of practice.

Like hitting a curveball or being able to juggle.

These aren’t impossible things, but you wouldn’t be able to learn them by reading a “how to” guide.

So, how do you practice holding a frame?

Simple. Choose a frame, and hold it!

Just like juggling, or hitting a curveball, the more you do it, the easier it gets.

But unless you are VERY specific and consistent, your “frame” that you are “holding” will be all over the place, which means you won’t exactly be practicing “holding” a frame. You’ll be practicing watching your frame be yanked all over the place!

What is a frame? It’s the meaning of an interaction, or a situation.

So, you can practice by going through similar situations, and HOLDING the same intention.

Like every time you walk into a store, you can set the “meaning” of that situation as you buying what you want.

Sounds simple. Sounds obvious.

But if you’ve EVER walked into a store to buy something, and had your thoughts PULLED AWAY by something you DIDN’T plan, then you lost the frame.

Maybe you saw something you wanted instead.

Maybe you saw a cute guy or girl, and tried to think of something to say.

These are all EXAMPLES of the situation REFRAMING you.

So, how can you PRACTICE holding the frame?

Before you go into the store, choose what your intention is. Buying a sandwich. Buying a case of beer. Whatever.

When you are IN the store, for the entire time, DO NOT THINK OF ANYTHING ELSE.

Do not look at other stuff. Do not wander around. Do not smile at cute girls.

ONLY keep your mind focused on what you are there for. Get in, buy the thing, and get out.

Let NO OTHER THOUGHTS come into your mind.

This may seem simple. This may seem goofy. This may seem like something that you “already know.”

But when you can hold ANY FRAME YOU CHOOSE, regardless of what other people say or do, or whatever “happens,” you will be able to rule the world.

Who rules the world?

The dude with the strongest frame. Not the smartest guy. Not the richest guy. The guy who can HOLD HIS INTENTION regardless of what happens.

OK, maybe you don’t want to rule the world.

Maybe you just want to make a ton of cash, and build some AWESOME relationships.

The stronger your ability to SET and HOLD any frame, the easier that will be.

Get Started:
Frame Control

Real Or Fake?

What Is Your Structure?

I watched an interesting movie a couple nights ago.

About these young adults who broke into this distillery in Scotland.

There was this super famous, super expensive brand of Scotch. They only made one barrel every hundred years or something.

And once a year they would auction off a bottle. It would sell for tons of cash.

So these guys decided they’d sneak it, siphon off a pint, then put back in a pint of regular stuff.

Then they’d sell the pint on the black market.

(I guess in movieland there’s a black market for everything).

But I couldn’t help but wonder, how does the buyer know the stuff is for real?

I mean, if you’re buying gold or cocaine or something, you can do a chemical test.

But super old and super expensive whiskey is pretty subjective, at least to me.

It kind of reminds of a YouTube video where they took this world famous violinist. Some guy people pay hundreds of dollars to see perform.

And they had him play in a subway all day. Nobody recognized him. He only collected a few bucks in his hat.

Same guy, different skills, but vastly different location.

Another guy, a college student, did a similar experiment. He hired a cameraman, a couple of groupies, and some kind of publicist to follow him around in the local mall.

He even invented a fake name.

Pretty soon, people were tweeting all kinds of pictures of him, and his fake name.

And everybody was pretending he really WAS famous.

Then there’s that famous movie, based on a true story, “Catch Me If You Can,” about a guy who pretended to be doctors, pilots, lawyers, and made tons of money.

Bottom line is you “pretend” to be important, people will assume you are.

The flip side is also true. If you “pretend” that you’re worthless, unsure, not confident, that’s EXACTLY how the world will treat you.

The truth about us humans is that are MUCH more dependent on STRUCTURE than we realize.

The structure of language is grammar. The structure of “self confidence” is good posture, slow confident speech, slow, measured movements, steady eye contact etc.

Collectively, the “structure” of any “conversation” is the Frame.

And more often than not, the FRAME is the driving factor. Not your clothes. Not your bank account. Not your accomplishments.

If you can control the frame, pretty much everything you say will be taken VERY seriously.

Learn More:

Frame Control