Next time you’re at a party or social gather, do a little experiment.
Any time people are sitting around talking about whatever.
When one person is talking, watch the other people.
Try and decide when they’ve stop listening, and have starting thinking what to say when it’s “their turn.”
Also notice the times people that are speaking get “interrupted.”
Every once in a while you’ll get a group where one person is the clear “leader” and does most of the talking.
But most of the time there are at least two people who are vying for the social conversation “leadership” role.
This is human nature.
Humans always self organize into hierarchies.
And within those hierarchies there is also a lot of shuffling going on.
Nobody thinks this way consciously. This “social hierarchy” instinct is like hunger.
But much more subtle.
One way people notice who’s “in charge” is by the cues given by the other people.
Unless you’re in a high stakes poker game or a prison gang, the person “in charge,” especially during social situations, is usually the one doing the most talking, or getting the most attention.
For most people, this is natural and automatic. Both the talking part and the paying attention part.
But it’s VERY EASY to engineer this.
There are all kinds of very powerful language techniques to build MASSIVE interest in whatever you are saying.
And because these happen at the structure level, and not the content level, people will think it’s got something to do with YOU.
From a content standpoint, if somebody is talking about something EXTRAORDINARY, then people will KNOW that it’s the content.
But when you use regular content (normal everyday stories) but use them in a specific structure, people will be mesmerized but they won’t know why.
Some of these structure techniques are easy to learn, and can use them right away.
Some of them take a bit more practice, but are INSANELY powerful.
When you are doing your “conversation experiments,” see if you can find somebody that talks for more than a couple of minutes, while EVERYBODY else can’t take their eyes of him or her.
THAT could be YOU.