Category Archives: Hallucination

Be Your Own Best Friend

How To Like Yourself

Lately I’ve been seeing a lot of articles about “happiness.”

Not really happiness, but the books about happiness.

Usually written by some famous (and usually attractive) psychologist.

But the “secret” they’ve discovered is pretty basic.

Nothing earth shattering.

Like when you make mistake, don’t beat yourself up.

Talk to yourself like a friend instead.

Encourage yourself.

However, this doesn’t really help.

Because people that are “happy” do that anyway.

Naturally talking to yourself as a friend instead of beating yourself up is an outcome. An effect, rather than a cause.

The CAUSE is that you genuinely LIKE yourself.

If you LIKE yourself, you will naturally talk to yourself like a friend.

So in a sense, those super famous “psychologists” are telling us to like ourselves more.

Like we could just “flip a switch” and fix everything.

It’s about as helpful as telling somebody who wants to lose weight to just “eat less.”

Gee, thanks!

Liking ourselves ITSELF is an outcome. An effect, rather than a cause.

Think of “liking yourself” like you’d like a friend.

Why do you like them?

They make you feel good. They’ve got your back. They have similar interests. Similar struggles.

We can’t really “choose” who we like and who we don’t.

Sure, if you’re FORCED to be roommates with somebody, you generally LEARN to like them.

Well, guess what?

Your FORCED to be roommates with YOURSELF.

So how can you learn to “like” yourself?

One way is to like what you’re doing.

Think if you had a friend, that was always coming over and messing up your apartment. Always eating your food. Never replacing it. Always getting in your way.

How long would you like them?

Not very long.

Think of the opposite friend. He or she came over and helped you clean up. Helped you keep your fridge stocked. Encouraged you to go out and meet people.

One way to like yourself more is to be your own coach.

Be able to shift in and out of coaching mode.

Write down a list of things for yourself to get, or do, or accomplish.

Then at the end of each day, write down the things you did to get closer.

Then write down the things you can do tomorrow.

Then during the day, think of these “to do” items. Go through them mentally.

Thinking of doing things for your “future self.”

Or think of following a list of tasks from your “past self.”

Crazy hallucination?

So what?

You’ll not only “like” yourself. But you’ll be “proud” of yourself. You’ll want to “show yourself off” to others.

Give it a try, and see.

There are plenty more mental exercises like this to increase happiness.

Learn More:

Emotional Freedom

Are You Using The Right Metaphor?

Are You Using The Best Map?

Change Your Map

​There’re a lot of mystery surrounding the “conscious” and the “unconscious.”

Like they are two separate things. One in one part of your brain, and another in another part of your brain.

Your “conscious” wants to do something, but your “subconscious” is holding you back.

Or your “conscious” is the captain while the “subconscious” is the ship.

In reality, these are all metaphors. Metaphors, of course, are very simple explanations for much, much deeper phenomenon.

When they say “The Map is Not The Territory,” in this case, any metaphor is a map, and the reality is the territory.

I like reading books about history. Back in those days, those dudes had some messed up maps. Which meant they never really knew where they were going.

If you’re going off a bad map, or a map that doesn’t have an alligator swamp or a tiger valley, you might run into trouble.

Often times, in order to save brain power, we think the map IS the territory.

Unfortunately, the map, or the metaphor, in this case, is only a guess. An approximation.

If we were scientists, we’d come up with a model. Then we’d test the model against what we saw. Then if the model didn’t accurately predict what we saw, we’d have to change our model.

Once there was a guy on a ship. The sea was rough, so he grabbed onto the anchor. It saved his life. But then the ship came into calm waters, and dropped the anchor. The guy was still scared, so he held on. He figured it worked before, why not now?

Well, after the guy died, he realized his mistake.

Never hang onto something when it’s not working!

Of course, giving up a model, or a map, or a metaphor you’ve held dear for a long time can be tough.

But the bottom line is you HAVE to ask yourself this question:

“Am I getting what I want?”

If you are, then keep doing whatever you’ve been doing.

If not, then the answer is clear. Do something else!

Try another model. Try another metaphor. Try anything!

So long as you have a clear goal in mind, and you’re brave enough to measure ALL feedback along the way, and adjust accordingly, you will not fail.

Doesn’t matter WHAT model or metaphor you use. If it works, it works.

If you need to shake your brain up and look at things differently, so you can start getting better results, give some of these tools a try.

They’ve helped plenty others, and they can help you.

Learn More: