Category Archives: Self Confidence

How To Dissolve Social Anxiety

Abandonment Issues

You’re A Poopy Head!

​Most people realize that getting involved with other people is necessary.

At the same time, this is one of our deepest fears.

This is why despite the massive piles of cash that can be made in sales, few people would go near a sales job.

This not only requires talking to other people, but getting rejected by others.

That huge pile of cash is smack dab on the other side of one of the biggest fears of all.


Just imagine, for a second, that you had ZERO fear of rejection. You could talk to anybody, anywhere, any time and say anything, just to see what would happen. Even if they started screaming and yelling at you like you were the Devil himself, you’d just think it was pretty funny. Like a four year old kid calling you a poopy-head.

What could you do? What would you be able to accomplish?

Here’s a trick that can help that happen. It won’t happen automatically, and you’ve got to practice it for a while, but when you do, it’ll sink in and become automatic.

Everybody, regardless of who they are, has a HUGE collection of fears. Even the greatest actors of all time suffer from MASSIVE stage fright.

CEO’s who made billions have a collection of irrational fears just like everybody else.

And as you can guess, many of these fears stem from childhood.

One of the deepest fears, which was installed BEFORE we learned any language, is fear of abandonment.

We crapped our pants, we cried, and for a while, nobody came to help us. Sure it may have only been a minute or two, but from a one month old’s perspective, that was an eternity.

So here’s the trick.

Next time you see somebody you’d love to approach and start a conversation with, for whatever reason, just imagine them as being one month old. Laying in their crib with a big steaming pile in their pants.

Screaming their heads off, and wondering why nobody is coming to help them.

Do this until you feel sympathy for them. Then, once you start feeling genuine sympathy for them, imagine walking over, one adult to another, and making them feel good. Imagine that YOU have the power to uplift them, rather than the other way around.

Most people see somebody they’d like to talk to, and imagine that other person has all the power.

But this quick exercise will quickly dissolve that imagination, and replace it with a more resourceful one.

This is just ONE of the many exercises and techniques in the Interpersonal Resonance course.

Designed to transform YOU into an incredibly powerful, fearless, and persuasive communicator.

Learn More:

How To Objectively View Yourself

See The Big Picture

See The Big Picture

Once I was sitting in this coffee shop in Japan. 

There were three girls at the table next to me, putting together some kind of collage for a friend of theirs.

A bunch of pictures of some girl (Japanese) and some guy (non-Japanese).

So they wanted to write something cute at the bottom of the picture, in English.

They had settled on the saying “Love Is Blind.”

Now, I wanted to point out that wasn’t the ideal statement to convey to a clearly happy couple.

I wanted to explain that this is normally used to describe somebody who doesn’t quite see what they’re getting into, from an objective standpoint.

Meaning that love makes us overlook the other person’s shortcomings, sometimes when we shouldn’t.

I’m sure you’ve had a friend that was in a relationship with somebody, and you and everybody else knew it wasn’t going to end well. But they thought it was absolutely PERFECT.

And then when it went up in flames, you had to use super human willpower to keep from saying, “I told you so!”

The truth about human nature is that it’s nearly impossible to see what we are doing, right now, from an objective. third party standpoint.

Another time I was watching this race on TV. A middle distance foot race. One guy took a HUGE early lead.

Since I didn’t know anything about the runners, I figured he was going to win. But then the announcer said, almost disparagingly, “He’ll never be able to keep THAT up!” 

Which, of course, he didn’t. He finished near the back of the pack.

Sure, we can see our mistakes clearly in hindsight. We can look back and see that we should have said this, rather than that. We should have done that, rather than this.

If only we could ever learn from our mistakes!

Luckily, we can. Most of our behaviors are based on how we INTERPRET situations, not the situations themselves.

We behave certain ways because doing certain things are simply more comfortable than other certain things.

But there IS a way to go back and change your history, so back here in the present, most everything will be more comfortable. This, that AND the other thing!

Which means we’ll have a lot more flexibility, a lot more choice, and a lot better results.

Learn How:

Emotional Freedom

Go Slow Baby!

Slow And Steady

Use Your Skills!

What’s the difference between somebody that doesn’t read and somebody who can’t?


Skills can be useless unless you put them into action. Now, some people tell themselves things like, “Well, if I wanted to I could, but right now I really don’t want to.”

Like they see an attractive person across the room. They imagine the best case scenario, and tell themselves they COULD do that if they wanted to, but for some reason, they don’t want to.

There are many variations of this, but they’re really the same. We see something we want, we know what action to take, but we are afraid. So we come up with a story to tell ourselves that keeps us from taking action.

It’s funny when we hear this from others, it sounds like pure BS. But from ourselves, it sounds totally logical.

Part of the problem lies in the fact that we imagine where we are now, and where we want to be.

Then we imagine some HUGE action that needs to be taken, in order to get what we want.

Then we imagine the worst case scenario, which is failing miserably.

And if we set our sites on what we want, and take action, and FAIL, what does that say about us?

Most of us would rather pretend that we’ll take action “someday.”

Only that day never comes.

There are two HUGE fallacies in the argument presented above.

The first is that there are WAAAAY more steps from where we are to where we want to be than we imagine.

The second that if we don’t get what we want RIGHT AWAY, we somehow “fail.” This is just nuts.

Imagine you wake up in the middle of the night, and you need to hit the toilet. You stand up, and fumble around on the wall for the light switch.

You slap around the wall until you find the outer edges of the fixture, then find the switch, and turn it on.

How many hand movements did it take? Probably a lot. Was each hand movement that DIDN’T land on the light switch a FAILURE?

Only if you somehow convinced yourself that the Earth was going to explode if you didn’t hit that switch perfectly the first time.

The TRUTH about humans and our interactions with the reality around is that EVERYTHING is like that.

We take action, we get feedback, and then based on that feedback, we take more action.

All along redefining our targets, goals and objectives.

We will keep doing that until we’re dead.

Life is a process. A journey. A path of self discovery and creation.

The small steps you take today will resonate FAR into your future. 

They don’t have to big steps. Whatever you’re comfortable with.

Get started:

Prosperity Generator

Up And Down The Hills Of Life

Get To The Bottom and Go Back To The Top

Earn Your Pleasure

I used to love riding up and down hills on my bike.

As I did, I’d always play “Helter Skelter,” by the Beatles, in my mind.

Especially the first part, which goes:

“When I get to the bottom I go back to the top of the slide
where I stop and I turn and I go for a ride
till I get to the bottom and I see you again…
Yea yea yea…”

I love going up, and I also loved going down. But I also love being up on top, especially if was a particularly good hill with a particularly good view.

Some of my friends would like riding on long, flat spaces. I thought that was pretty boring.

It was easy, as you didn’t have any hills. But you also didn’t get the views, nor the massive speeds you got riding back down.

The fastest I ever clocked was 53 mph, just coasting down this big long hills.

It’s hard to separate out best part, in my mind. All three (the climb, the view, and the ride back down) all have their unique pleasures.

There’s also these trips you can take in famous places, where they haul you and your bike up to the top of a mountain and then let you coast back down. Usually places like Hawaii or Costa Rica or other Island type resort spots with high hills.

I went on a canoe trip like that once. They drove us up river, and then let us ride the current back down for a few days. 

It didn’t take much work, so we just kind of relaxed and enjoyed the ride.

(and drank lots of alcohol!)

Now, that can be fun from time to time, but it’s also pretty boring. Since you didn’t really put in any effort, there’s not much enjoyment you can get out of it.

If you’ve got kids or know anybody that’s got kids, then you know it’s not such a great idea to simply give them whatever the want without the necessary feeling of “earning it,” especially as they get older.

This can create some pretty spoiled kids. (A lot of famous people like that these days…)

What about you? What kind of life do you envision?

A flat, stable ride that’s safe, easy and boring?

Somebody to do all the work, while you get the benefits?

Or the ability to do the work, enjoy the view, AND the ride down?

And then, as Paul screamed, “go back to the top of the slide”?

Your life, your choice.

If you want it safe, it’s easy, but limited.

If you want somebody to do all the work, it’s pretty boring.

But if you want to put in the effort, your life belongs to you. And you’ll get much, much more.

What do YOU want?

Make It Happen:

Prosperity Generator

How To Be Your Own Eye In The Sky

Spy On Your Future

Peer Into Your Own Future

What’s the difference between fate and free will?

Whatever your thoughts are, here’s a mind experiment to make it more confusing.

Let’s say you’re jamming along down the freeway. 

At the same time, there’s some guy way up in a spy plane looking at all the freeways. He notices a wreck about ten miles ahead of where you’re currently driving.

So he KNOWS that in about three to five minutes, you are going to slow, and then you are going to stop.

But you have no idea.

Now, there’s a lot of ways to explain this, in terms of free will or fate.

One way might be that the person who has the most information is in the best position to exercise his or her “free will,” while people with less information are locked into “fate.”

Most people go through life and readily give up their choices, or their free will, to fate. It’s easy that way. If you rely on fate to give you good things or bad things, you’ll never feel like a failure.

Sure, you won’t usually get very much, but you won’t feel as if you’ve tried and gotten rejected.

I’m sure you can understand the attraction of this position. Getting rejected sucks. A lot.

But if you plan your life around what you DON’T want to have happen, rather than what you do, you ARE leaving it up to the gods.

But what if you were to look at your life like the guy in the spy plane?

What if you got a really, really big picture of where you were going?

Instead of each situation being a life or death, fail or succeed, win or lose, you’d see it as one step along the MASSIVE journey that is your life.

If you practiced looking at your life in this way, it would be easier to “shift” between “big picture” thinking and “in the moment” thinking.

What if the guy in that spy plane told the guy in the car about the wreck, as soon as it happened?

He’d know about it before everybody else, and would know EXACTLY which roads to take to avoid the accident, and get to wherever he was going. Safe and on time.

What if you learned how to do this? Looking at the big picture, and at the same time, looking out through your own eyes inside each and every situation?

This is what you’ll learn in the Self-Confidence course.

A way to choose several VISIONS for your life, so you can easily place any situation where it belongs, giving you an inside angle.

Who Controls Your Life’s Meaning?

Are You Relying On Pre-Defined Meanings?

How To Define Your Own

If somebody gives you an egg, what does it mean?

Naturally, it depends on the context. If you’re making a cake, it means you’re one step closer to eating something sweet.

If you’re in the middle of an egg fight, it’s time to throw it at the enemy.

If you’re a high school hooligan, and you’re in the middle of vandalizing a “friend’s” house, it means something completely different.

What if somebody hands you a iron bar? Does it mean you can finally escape from prison, or they’re helping you change a tire?

What if somebody hands you a stack of money? Does it mean you’re on easy street, or now you’re in debt to the devil?

Very little of what happens to us has any meaning that is absolutely set in stone.

There is a LOT more flexibility than most of us realize.

Of course, if trying to “buck the trend” makes your brain hurt, and you’d rather be told what things mean, so you can get back to your bag of Cheetos and TV shows, then this won’t make much sense.

But I suspect you’re not the Cheetos eating, TV watching couch blob like most people these days.

You suspect there’s much more to life than simply taking what “they” give you.

You want more. Maybe a little, maybe a lot.

And you know there IS more.

There’s plenty of sappy statements that describe the ability to look out into the world and make it mean what you want it to.

But there are scarce few who actually make it a habit of doing that.

Most people are desperate for somebody to “tell them what it means.”

Other people dare to wonder, “Hmm, I wonder what meanings I’ll discover today.”

What about you?

Are you ready to realize that the meaning of every single situation really IS up for grabs?

Unless you’re taking a math of physics test, you can “play around” with meanings all you want.

In fact, society is ruled by those who control not events, but the meaning of events.

And you can do the same.

Maybe not rule the world, but you can certainly rule YOUR world.

Just figure out what you want in life, and see how easily you can mold situations to fall in line.

And instead of seeing the world with scary situations that may end badly (as most people do), you’ll see situations as stepping stones to your inevitable success.

The Cutting Edge of Forward Momentum

The Magic of Forward Momentum

Generate Long Range Vision

They have this thing in economics called “disruptive technology.”

Everything’s going swell in one particular industry, and then somebody invents something new.

And it pretty much shakes everything up.

For example, when Henry Ford came along, the horse and buggy industry took it pretty hard.

When the Internet came along, print newspapers started going belly up. When Kindle came along, traditional publishers started going out of business.

The bottom line is that technology, which really means creative people at the forefront of society, is always marching forward.

While it’s pretty scary to get caught unaware, it’s pretty thrilling (and EXTREMELY profitable) to be on the cutting edge.

Even if you’re just a consumer, having all these things invented that make life easier is pretty cool.

Ever since I switched to Kindle, for example, I can bring my entire library with me everywhere I go. That is something I couldn’t have even imagined only a few years ago.

Before, if I brought a book to a coffees shop, and the book sucked, there wasn’t much I could do.

Both society wide an on an individual level, life is a constant forward motion of learning and discovery.

Or at least it can be. It SHOULD be, but many of us are afraid.

Many of us are afraid of change, afraid of learning new things, and afraid of the unknown.

To be sure, that feeling of “not knowing what to do” isn’t the best in the world.

But on the flip side, knowing perfectly well what’s going to happen, and being completely prepared, is pretty boring.

It’s like sitting on your couch eating familiar food and watching the same movie for the fiftieth time.

Sure, that might be a great plan if there’s a blizzard outside, but it’s not exactly the best strategy for a fulfilled life.

On the other hand, charging forward all the time without thinking can be pretty dangerous.

Naturally, having a balance is best. Being in that “sweet spot” of accepting the unknown while carrying within you that natural attitude of learning, discovering, and accepting all feedback that comes your way.

Being able to look out into a situation, and not know what’s going to happen, but still feel confident enough to make a move anyway is a pretty good skill to have.

Especially in our rapidly changing society and economy.

One thing that can help considerably is by having several long term “visions” for your life.

Meaning no matter what situation you find yourself in, you know how you can leverage it to your benefit.

Fully participating, and fully appreciating every interaction.

That’s what having strong self confidence is REALLY all about.

To fire up your own self confidence, so you can fully appreciate everything life has to offer, check this out:

Your Personal Road To Riches

Can You Paint By Numbers To Riches?

Is Step By Step Success Possible?

Most people would love a “paint by the numbers” system of success.

It doesn’t really matter what field. Relationships, business, health.

It seems us humans are hard wired to look for shortcuts. So when some savvy marketer comes along and gives us some secret formula that he discovered while hiking through some hidden cave in Tibet, we start salivating.

While that seems compelling from the inside out, let’s take a look from the outside in.

To be sure, doing anything mechanical WILL have a proven, step by step system. One that leaves no room for error, or mistakes.

Like rebuilding an engine, or baking a cake, or traveling from point A to point B. All you need is a simple, step by step system to follow, and so long follow the steps in order, you’ll be OK.

But whenever we do ANYTHING that involves other people, there’s really no simple method that works for everybody.

The “secret method” can ONLY be vague, at best.

Humans are a HUGE collecting of continuously changing variables, so if you want to create ANYTHING that’s based on the cooperation of others, there IS going to be a LARGE amount of winging it.

And this means doing stuff that won’t work, doing stuff that may have the opposite effect, and doing stuff that will work a million times better than we’d hoped.

To make it even more confusing, we’ll never know until AFTER we try.

To make even MORE confusing-er, we humans tend to look back at things that worked out and “rewrite” history, to make ourselves look like super heroes.

We say things like, “See, I KNEW that was going to happen!”

Or, “I had a feeling he’d say that!”

Now, most people are pretty uncomfortable doing things when they have no idea how it’s going to come up.

Hence our repeated tendency (since pretty much the dawn of time) to try or buy “secret solutions.”

But the bottom line is that unless you’re willing to take risks, accept and learn from ALL feedback, you won’t get very far.

The GOOD news is that changing your mindset, and doing some consistent mental practice, you can learn to actually HAVE FUN doing things when the outcome is uncertain.

Once you start to EXPECT and look forward to any feedback, (rather than pin you hopes on ONLY good feedback) life really becomes an incredibly fun journey.

Filled with learning, growing, success in all areas, and plenty other ideas to be discovered.

Secrets Of Self Actualization

Love The Path For Enlightenment

The Path Is Where It’s At

What does it mean to be “fully actualized?”

Maslow talked about this in his hierarchy of needs.

At the bottom are things like food, sex, etc. Stuff we all can imagine without any trouble.

But as you go further up the top, they get more vague and much more dependent on your own personal definitions.

The very top is “Self Actualized.”

I remember way back in university, one teacher was telling us that you had to go through the bottom levels to get to the top levels. And somebody asked of an example of a “self-actualized” person.

One of the examples she gave was Jesus. And I immediately thought of Jesus down at the lower levels getting his freak on so he could move up the pyramid. I guess they left that stuff out of the Bible.

Anyhow, I think most people have a bit of a misconception of the top levels of Uncle Maslow’s pyramid.

We tend to think it’s some kind of “state of being.” That once we arrive, all we’ve go to do is drink champagne and eat sushi off naked girls (or guys).

But the problem is that would get pretty boring, pretty quick.

Study after study shows that folks who win lotteries tend to go nuts after the initial thrill wears off.

Sure, we can all think of massive piles of material goods that we WANT, but what happens when we have them?

I suppose you could take handfuls of pills and play video games all day, but you’d self destruct pretty quickly.

Maybe being “self actualized” means being fully congruent in the PURSUIT of your goals, not in the getting them.

When you have something really big, really important (to you) and it’s just out of reach. Which means you’re firing on all cylinders, using all your skills (and learning new ones) to get you closer.

Some famous guy once said, “A man’s reach should be beyond his grasp.”

Meaning if you can get it with your current level of skills and energy, it’s not big enough.

Maybe we humans need some kind of a carrot out there to keep us moving forward.

One that we create, and one that we put out there.

Only when you focus on your own dreams with laser like intensity, and get busy, do you feel alive.

Click Here To Get Moving:

Self Confidence Generator

How To Make Life Purr Like A Kitten

Slice Through Resistance Like Butter

Rev Up Your Life

What’s a chainsaw and a racecar have in common?

Other than they both make a lot of noise?

Both are designed to be more efficient at higher RPM’s. Or the faster the engine goes, the more effective it is.

If you listen to a chainsaw when it’s not cutting, when it’s kind idling, it sounds pretty rough and almost like something’s wrong with it.

But when you rev it up, it purrs like a kitten. (Not a kitten you’d want to pet, but you get the idea.)

If you’ve ever had one of those days when everything just “clicks” you know what that feels like.

All the lights are green, you get all the parking spaces up close. All the people you smile at smile right back (and some even smile first).

This is the way life is SUPPOSED to be.

When we are on purpose, when we humans have a solid goal, not just fort the next couple of days, but for life in general, it’s a lot easier to “click.” 

You’re humming along just like a chainsaw, slicing through all obstacles in your path.

If you DON’T have any idea of what you’re creating in life, it can feel like you’re running in circles.

You try one thing, it works for a while, then it falls to pieces. Then maybe something else, but you get the same result. You start off like gangbusters, but as soon as you run into trouble, it gets hard to find your mojo.

It’s easy to let your goals and direction be chosen by somebody else.

In fact, the way society is built, it takes an almost gargantuan effort to avoid being led around like a lost puppy.

Back in the old days, all you needed were your instincts, and you’d be fine. A desire for some kind of income, a desire for some kind of relationships, and some safety, and you were good.

But today you MUST choose. Not in extreme detail, just enough to give yourself some direction.

If you were wandering across the desert, for example, and you had zero idea where you were going, it’d be easy to wander in circles until you were buzzard food.

On the other hand, if you had a clear destination in mind, you’d have a much better chance.

Once you’ve got a clear direction pulling you forward, you’ll be much more “in tune” with what’s going on.

This Will Help:

Self Confidence Generator