Category Archives: Conscious Mind

Beware Of False Prophets

The Danger Of Fake Validation

One time I went to this goofy seminar.

One of the exercises we did is a pretty popular one among goofy seminars.

They shut the lights out completely, and you aren’t allowed to talk.

You’re supposed to only use your sense of touch to “get to know” the other people.

Lots of people use it for different things.

As I learned it, it’s kind of a metaphor for how we live.

Not unlike Plato’s cave idea.

Where we don’t really see “reality.”

We only see a poor shadow.

A reflection.

The idea being that we are really just feeling around in the dark.

There are a lot of metaphors to describe the complexities of life.

But they all agree that life is pretty complicated.

At least modern life is.

Recently a few scientists have actually admitted that social media is bad for you.

It’s very much like junk food for your ego.

Fake approval, fake likes, fake friends, fake validation.

Just for a second, imagine the REAL version of all the fake attention you might get on social media.

Real people would walk up to you, look you in the eye, shake your hand, and say, “I like you.”

And they meant it.

Or imagine if a group of people came to your house.

Imagine they said:

“We really respect your ideas and the work you are doing. We’d like to be kept in the loop, if possible. We would very much like to follow you.”

Imagine how REAL social approval would feel, compared to how fake social approval feels.

Imagine getting ten thousand, or even a million “likes” for RE-POSTING some clever meme you found online.

Now imagine getting a standing ovation from a speech you just finished.

Imagine the looks on people’s faces when they really “get” your message.

The looks of REAL recognition and approval.

These are the REAL THINGS we crave.

For the longest time, they kept our society humming.

We ONLY got positive social recognition for things that actually HELPED OTHERS.

This is the danger of fake social recognition.

It’s junk food for your soul.

How long would you last if you only ate bowls of sugar?

This is the modern equivalent of feeding on a diet of social media.

Luckily, you can RE-CALIBRATE your social instincts.

So you only seek REAL validation for REAL benefit that you provide to others.

Learn How:

Ego Taming

Mutual Benefits Are Everywhere

Mechanics Of Relationships

One of our biggest human issues is an instinct mismatch.

The easiest to see is hunger.

Way back in the day, we had to hunt for food.

And hunting for food was dangerous.

So only those that were ALWAYS hungry were the most motivated to get out and hunt every day.

Or spend all day foraging.

Today, that never ending hunger instinct gets in the way.

Which is why most people (70%) are overweight.

Unfortunately, this is only ONE of the instincts that can get us into trouble.

There are plenty of others.

However, once you understand that hunger will never go away, you can learn to manage it.

It’s not easy by any means.

But through consistent effort, you CAN get into decent physical shape if that’s important to you.

Luckily, all of our other goals can be made much easier by managing all of our various instincts.

The first step is understanding what those instincts are.

Think of when you fell in love with somebody.

In the very beginning.

When you had “one-itis” for them.

You liked them, but you weren’t sure if they liked you.

In that situation, it’s very hard to NOT contact them.

But if you know anything about relationship building, contacting somebody TOO OFTEN in the early stages is the last thing you want to do.

Making yourself TOO available will kill attraction.

Fortunately, this desire to contact them is JUST LIKE our hunger instinct.

If we are OBEDIENT to our instincts, they won’t help us much.

Imagine if you ate all you could, whenever you were hungry.

If you learn about all your other instincts, and how to manage them, you can CREATE a wonderful relationship JUST LIKE you can create a healthy body.

Sure, it’s not easy and automatic.

But nothing worth doing is.

But just as sure as you can create a healthy body, you can create a healthy relationship.

All you need to do is understand the mechanics, the underlying instincts that you need to manage, and get busy.

Learn How:

Love Hypnosis

Are You A Sheep?

How To Spin The Other Direction

One time I went to a Vietnamese restaurant with a Vietnamese friend of mine.

We were both looking over the menu, and we had both decided on the same thing.

It was in Vietnamese, so he had to explain everything to me.

He ordered, and then I ordered.

The waitress looked at me, deadpan, and said, “copycat.”

My friend thought it was the funniest thing.

We kept going back to that restaurant because the food was delicious.

But he always referred to it as the “copycat” place.

Humans are, after all, primates.

And the expression, “Monkey see, monkey do,” is pretty applicable to us humans.

Once in high school my neighbor and I were discussing how much people were “sheep.”

They teacher had done teaching, we’d all finished out in-class assignment, and we were all just sitting around waiting for the bell to ring.

Like animals in a cage waiting for instructions at the zoo or something.

My buddy and I decided to be “rebels.” To stand up and leave a minute before the bell rang.

We felt like we were doing some kind of heroic act of disobedience or something. (high school idiots lol!)

But when we stood up in defiance, everybody copied us. Like it was no big deal.

As we shuffled out, the teacher looked at the clock, confused.

Bottom line is that humans copy each other MUCH MORE than we realize, or would like to admit.

But here’s a way that EVERYBODY is copying YOU that maybe you haven’t thought of yet.

How you see yourself.

If you think you’re an idiot, guess what?

You’ll act like an idiot, and everybody will COPY your own JUDGMENT of yourself.

If you REALLY THINK you’re an awesome person with a lot to offer, people will copy THAT judgment about yourself as well.

Most people think get it backwards.

They think OTHERS judge us FIRST, and then we RESPOND to that.

But that is impossible.

How can they possible judge you just by looking at you?

They need help. Hints. Clues. Evidence.

Where do they get that from?

Your own opinion of yourself.

Change THAT, and you’ll change everything else.

Naturally, this isn’t as easy as changing your shirt or your shoes.

There IS a pretty tight feedback loop.

You, them, you, them etc.

But once you get started, and KEEP WORKING ON YOURSELF, you’ll slowly tip that feedback loop in the other direction.

You’ll think genuinely positive things about yourself. That will change your behavior. That will change how others perceive you. Which will AMPLIFY your own positive opinion about yourself.

When you get into THAT rhythm, (and KEEP it going) life is pretty good.

Learn How:

Emotional Freedom

Are You An Island Savage?

How To Program Your Subconscious

I saw this pretty lame movie the other night.

About this soccer team that crash landed on an island.

And then descended into “Lord of the Flies” style anarchy.

It was rated less than 5 out of 10.

But it started out with the coach giving the team a warm up pep talk.

It was supposed to be a “foreshadowing” event.

He was saying that humans were designed to be hunters and killers.

That is our true nature.

Of course, he was trying to get them fired up to play their soccer game, not go crazy when they crash landed on the island.

But there IS that dichotomy.

We are at odds with our primal instincts quite a lot.

We eat more than we should. We are afraid of things we shouldn’t be. Many people are unfaithful in their relationships.

We have these super egos that are easy to wound.

All because of our instincts.

You might say that the measure of how “Human” you are, or how “enlightened” you are is how well you not ignore your instincts (since that’s pretty impossible) but how you MANAGE them.

No matter what you do, you’re going to get hungry if you stop eating.

How you manage that hunger will be the difference between a six pack or a spare tire.

You can CHOOSE to eat something healthy, that will satisfy that primitive craving, or you can CHOOSE to eat a couple bags of potato chips.

Naturally, some people are in situations where it’s easier to choose “enlightened” choices.

That won’t change. It’s always been that way. It will always BE that way.

Your job, as a human intending to achieve actualization, is to be able to let your conscious mind work more harmoniously with your unconscious.

Because if your conscious mind is trying to do something, but your unconscious is trying to do something else, guess who’s going to win?

The idea is to MANAGE your subconscious. Be FRIENDS with it. Don’t get angry when your conscious mind is frustrated.

Think of your unconscious as a VERY POWERFUL friend.

If you try to keep them on a leash, THEY will be the ones leading you around.

But when you take the time to TALK TO THEM, in a language they understand, THEY will pull you to where YOU want to go, rather than your inner caveman.

What language do they understand?

Pictures. Images. Feelings.

Create a vivid picture of what you want. Focus on it with intensity and strong emotional power.

Think of that process as programming your ship’s computer with the coordinates to your next destination.

Once you’ve got them programmed it, you just need to put it on auto pilot.

However, many people make the mistake that programming your subconscious happens quickly. Like it’s some kind of Alladin’s Lamp, and all you need to do is mumble a few wishes, and you’re good.

It takes time. It takes dedication. It takes effort. Mental effort.

But it is well worth it.

These will help:

Subliminal Programming