Category Archives: Open

How To Be Open

How To Turn Everybody On

I just read this interesting piece of “news” about some famous psychologist.

I put “news” in quotes because it’s one of those self-evident things we all know anyway, but because it’s in some new book by a famous person the news goofs act like its a new discovery.

Anyhow, the shocking news is that when people meet us, there are two things they sort for within the first couple seconds.

One is whether or not they can trust us, and another is whether or not they can respect us.

Meaning we can’t be shifty, and we can’t walk around drooling on ourselves.

I know, shocking insight, right?

But here’s the thing. Just knowing what to do isn’t enough. It’s not even “half the battle” as G.I. Joe famously said.

For example if you were struggling with your weight, and some goof told you to, “eat less,” that really wouldn’t help.

Since every person that struggles with their weight REALLY struggles with how to manage hunger.

If all we had to do was to just “eat less” as if were as easy as wearing purple, we’d all be skinny.

The problem comes in HOW to do those “simple” things.

Like just HOW do you project the INSTANT idea that people can trust you?

Wear a T-Shirt that says, “Don’t worry, I won’t kill you!”

That probably wouldn’t help.

One way would be to be emotionally open. People who are SCARED often put up a protective vibe. This unfortunately comes across as you not trusting others.

And if YOU don’t trust OTHERS, how the heck are they supposed to trust you?

This is one of those catch-22’s. You don’t to become vulnerable unless THEY prove to YOU that you can trust them.

But THEY won’t trust YOU unless you are vulnerable. Since they don’t know you.

It’s like we’ve all got the same plan. Which is to wait for the OTHER PERSON to let their guard down FIRST.

How can you avoid this never ending trap?

Go to the source.

That time, way back in your history, when you trusted EVERYBODY.

Only after a while did you LEARN that sometimes it was difficult and even SCARY to openly express yourself.

Parents, school, other adults that don’t want to be bothered with a little kid.

They didn’t mean it, but they sure did a number on you!

It happened to ALL OF US.

You were once a super out-spoken, emotionally open, pure expression MACHINE.

Until somebody turned you off.

Sure it was an accident. But it still happened.

Luckily, YOU have access to the switch.

And when you turn yourself back ON, you’ll also be turning everybody else ON.

Learn How:

Emotional Freedom

Open Them Like A B-Day Present

Open Them Carefully

Avoid Putting Them On The Spot

​There’s all kinds of funny scenes in movies when two people are talking, but they both think they are talking about something different.

One of the key components of the Milton Model, the set of language patterns used in conversational hypnosis, is artful vagueness.

Meaning if I said something like, “He said that they were thinking about doing that, until she came up and said it was a bad idea, until they realized the true implications,” you really have ZERO clue what that means. Lots of unspecified pronouns and verbs.

But when you use these with a lot of skill, you can kind of “guess” what meaning the listener or reader will use when they fill in the blanks.

For example, consider this sentence:

“My brother and his cousin were talking about whether or not to study hypnosis or work on their language skills, and then he decided it was a good idea, so they did that.”

It’s still pretty confusing, but any meaning you come up with has to do with improving your communication skills.

Unfortunately, a lot of people use those vague words without being clear what they refer to, or without using them with any thought.

So you get two people talking about something and they both kind of have to guess what each other means.

One way to see this in action is to listen in on a conversation. Or be quiet for a few minutes when you’re in a group setting. Pay close attention to the specific words and sentences others use. 

You’ll find that most of the time, the stuff people talk about is VERY vague.

Now, what happens if you want to get more information?

Most people ask equally vague questions. Like, “What do you mean?” or “Tell me more.”

And if you’re talking about something, and somebody asks you a question like that, it’s easy to feel “on the spot,” as if everybody is suddenly looking at you to deliver some kind of genius idea.

Luckily, there is a pretty easy way to get people to speak more specifically about what they want.

And it WON’T make them feel “on the spot.” It will have the opposite effect. It will make them feel validated and noticed. Something we ALL crave. Not just for “being them” but for their specific ideas.

The set of questions is kind of the polar opposite of the Milton Model, which is based on vagueness.

When used carefully, not only will they open up like a birthday present, but they’ll NEVER forget you.

What’s more, is the more you ask them about their deepest desires, the more they’ll naturally associate their deepest desires with YOU.

What could you do with that?

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