Monthly Archives: February 2015

Short Term Or Long Term?

Choose Wisely

The Virtue Of Dating Patience

It can be a lot of fun to figure out how to “cheat the system.” I remember long, long ago when Pac Man was pretty popular (Yep, I’m THAT old!) Once one of my buddies got a hold of some “cheats” we could easily get through the first few levels without getting eaten.

When NLP was first unleashed, it didn’t take long for it to move from therapy to the world of sales. And it didn’t take long after that to move into the world of seduction.

Before long, guys with just a little bit of skill were taking unsuspecting ladies and firing up their desires. Take something like fractionation for example.

This is a purely hypnotic phenomenon that was later applied to seduction. In a hypnosis setting, it basically means speaking hypnotically, and then speaking normally. Every time you go back to speaking hypnotically, the person goes deeper and deeper into trance. Put them in, take them out, and then when you put the in again, they go deeper.

This can work in dating as well. You can use the same technique. Speak hypnotically, then speak normally, or what they call “fluff talk.”

Or you can be a bit more sneaky. Talk to her in one part of the bar. Then take her to another part of the bar. Then take her to a little diner that only you know about. Then take her to the park next to the diner. Or wherever. The idea is that in a few hours, it will feel as though she’s been on several “dates” with you. 

If she’s the kind of girl who will only sleep with a guy after a few dates, you can accelerate the process.

But then you run into problems.

One of the reasons people take their time dating is to feel each other out. To get to know each other. Even if you have hard core criteria, it’s easy to forget about them.

Traditionally, the whole process of dating is so you can “feel each other out’ on an unconscious basis. So after a few dates, you sort of know if you’re each other’s type or not.

You’ll also be building up some powerful “glue” that will keep you together should you decide that you are each other’s type.

This “glue” simply won’t exist if you accelerate the process using technology. Nor will you have gone through the sorting process.

Sure, it’s pretty straightforward to use technology to get laid. But you’ll be missing out on the subconscious sorting process, AND the “glue building” that comes with creating a lot of shared experiences together BEFORE you get intimate.

The problem with many guys today is they are SO desperate to get laid, they’ll do anything. But once they get laid, they suddenly want that girl to become their girlfriend.

That tends to happen after sex, unless you’re especially jaded.

This, of course, can present a lot of problems.

Just something to consider next time you’re out and about. Ask yourself what you’re after. A short term fling or a long term relationship. Because often times, you cannot have both.

Secrets Of Self Actualization

Love The Path For Enlightenment

The Path Is Where It’s At

What does it mean to be “fully actualized?”

Maslow talked about this in his hierarchy of needs.

At the bottom are things like food, sex, etc. Stuff we all can imagine without any trouble.

But as you go further up the top, they get more vague and much more dependent on your own personal definitions.

The very top is “Self Actualized.”

I remember way back in university, one teacher was telling us that you had to go through the bottom levels to get to the top levels. And somebody asked of an example of a “self-actualized” person.

One of the examples she gave was Jesus. And I immediately thought of Jesus down at the lower levels getting his freak on so he could move up the pyramid. I guess they left that stuff out of the Bible.

Anyhow, I think most people have a bit of a misconception of the top levels of Uncle Maslow’s pyramid.

We tend to think it’s some kind of “state of being.” That once we arrive, all we’ve go to do is drink champagne and eat sushi off naked girls (or guys).

But the problem is that would get pretty boring, pretty quick.

Study after study shows that folks who win lotteries tend to go nuts after the initial thrill wears off.

Sure, we can all think of massive piles of material goods that we WANT, but what happens when we have them?

I suppose you could take handfuls of pills and play video games all day, but you’d self destruct pretty quickly.

Maybe being “self actualized” means being fully congruent in the PURSUIT of your goals, not in the getting them.

When you have something really big, really important (to you) and it’s just out of reach. Which means you’re firing on all cylinders, using all your skills (and learning new ones) to get you closer.

Some famous guy once said, “A man’s reach should be beyond his grasp.”

Meaning if you can get it with your current level of skills and energy, it’s not big enough.

Maybe we humans need some kind of a carrot out there to keep us moving forward.

One that we create, and one that we put out there.

Only when you focus on your own dreams with laser like intensity, and get busy, do you feel alive.

Click Here To Get Moving:

Self Confidence Generator

Are You Willing To Pay The Costs?

Everything Comes With Costs - Are You Willing to Pay Them?

Everything Has A Price

Here’s a surefire way to get a girlfriend, if that’s what you want.

Now before we get started, many people claim they want something, when they really don’t. Or what they say they want is not really what they want. For example, most anybody on the street would say that want a million dollars. But that’s not the whole truth.

The whole truth is that they want a million dollars without taking any risks, putting themselves in any uncomfortable situations, or doing anything that might make them look foolish.

Ask a bunch of people if they were willing to spend three hours a day on side projects. Taking away from their TV time and socializing time. Doing things that would bring them disdain from friends and family, for three years and THEN get a million dollars. Ask this and most of them would laugh and walk away.

Same with guys that claim they want a girlfriend. Sure if their dream girl showed up on their doorstep one night, and asked if she could come in, they’d welcome her with open arms.

Of course, that only happens in fantasy lands. If you asked the question another way, you’d get a different answer.

Like this:

Would you be willing to talk to ten girls day, and ask for their phone number at the end of the conversation?

Would be willing to date at least one or two of THOSE girls a week, and disqualify those that don’t meet your criteria?

Would you be willing to ALWAYS be juggling two or three girls that you’ve dated more than once, yet aren’t in a committed relationship with yet?

Would you be willing to do this for ONE YEAR before you found that one special lady?

Most guys would run for the hills if that’s what they thought was required.

In fact, a lot of guys that have voluntarily removed themselves from the dating pool claim it’s because there are no quality women, or the game is stacked against men, or whatever.

But in reality, going through the above is a lot of work. Work most guys are simply not willing to put in.

They’d rather live in an imaginary “good old days” when girls just feel from the sky onto your arm.

But the cold harsh truth of economics will always prevail. Specifically the element of cost.

You can get whatever you want, so long as you are willing to pay the cost.

Most guys aren’t willing to pay the cost.

Are you?

If you are, then you can have any girl you want.

It’s not easy. But it is worth it.

Super Size Your Language Skills

Word Power

Practice The Obvious

“Give me ten minutes to talk away my ugly face, and I’ll bed the Queen of France.”

So says Voltaire.

Now, I don’t know if you’re interested in seducing kings or queens, but this perfectly describes the power of language.

When most of us speak, we have a bunch of half baked ideas, and then spit out a bunch of haphazardly chosen words that we hope will accurately describe those jumbled ideas in our heads.

Now, you CAN get lucky. People can look at you as if you’re the biggest brained genius since Beethoven.

On the other hand, you may get some puzzled looks,

“Wait, what?”

The truth is that because language is natural, we assume it’s not something we need to practice.

I mean, we don’t practice walking, or eating, or taking a dump. We just do it.

But if we only “just do it” when using language, we’re missing a HUGE amount of opportunity.

If you take just a tad bit longer to formulate those ideas, and spend a few extra moments of brainpower formulating your words instead of just “spitting them out,” you’ll get a LOT better response from whomever you’re talking to.

Now, some people assume there’s a bunch of magic words or combinations that work anywhere any time, on anybody.

But in reality, any kind of language technology is MUCH more like martial arts.

You learn a bunch of individual moves, and maybe a few combinations.

But the REAL practice comes when you use them in their natural habitat.

You can only get so far by shadow boxing. If you want to get to the big leagues (whatever that means for you) you’ve got to put on some gloves and mix it up a bit.

That means not only learning these patterns, but practicing them in real life conversations.

The good news is that this is a LOT easier than you think.

If you’d like to brush up on these patterns, I’ve just released a video training course that goes over the most powerful patterns.

Check it out:

Covert Hypnosis

Two Sides Of The Same Coin


Economics Of Seduction

There are two aspects meeting and dating quality women that are absolutely essential to understand. Without these, you won’t get very far, and you’ll end cursing the gods of randomness.

Of course, nothing is random, despite the plethora of metaphors indicating otherwise.

What makes this even more difficult, is that both of these elements are operating unconsciously, in everybody. So it could very well be that yours are messed up and you don’t even know it.

The trick is to elevate them to the conscious level, make sure everything’s in good working order, and then drop them back down to the unconscious level, so you can get back to having fun.

The first is criteria. You’ve got to know what you want in a woman. You’ve also got to know what you don’t want. Most guys have the first one, but not the second one. And even then it’s pretty basic. Like she’s got to be hot, and she’s got to like him.

However, as you well know, super hot girls can also be super crazy girls. If your only criteria is how she looks, you may be in for some trouble. So you’ll need to put in some time to figure out what you want.

The next idea to consider is your own exchange value. Now, most guys think that just because they’ve read a few articles about game online, that they are super bomb alphas and deserve the hottest girls on planet Earth.

Generally, that’s not the case.

The harsh truth is that most PEOPLE (girls and guys) severely overestimate their value.

Think of it this way. Do you think quality girls are hard to find? Or, if you’re a woman, do you think quality men are hard to find?

Well consider this harsh slap of truth to the face.

If YOU were high quality, high quality partners wouldn’t be hard to find.

Think of it this way. If you went down to your local flea market, with a couple grand stuffed in your pockets, would you have any trouble finding good things to buy? Nope.

On the other hand, if all you had were a couple of nickels, you’d complain that there was NOTHING of value there. That it was all over-priced garbage.

Well, I hate to break it to you, but if you’re having trouble finding quality mates, take a good hard look in the mirror.

How can you improve yourself? Develop social skills. Improve confidence, let those “tests” easily roll off your back without worrying about them. Have some faith in yourself, and in your life.

Refine your criteria, and refine what you’ve got to offer, and you’ll be fine.

How To Make Life Purr Like A Kitten

Slice Through Resistance Like Butter

Rev Up Your Life

What’s a chainsaw and a racecar have in common?

Other than they both make a lot of noise?

Both are designed to be more efficient at higher RPM’s. Or the faster the engine goes, the more effective it is.

If you listen to a chainsaw when it’s not cutting, when it’s kind idling, it sounds pretty rough and almost like something’s wrong with it.

But when you rev it up, it purrs like a kitten. (Not a kitten you’d want to pet, but you get the idea.)

If you’ve ever had one of those days when everything just “clicks” you know what that feels like.

All the lights are green, you get all the parking spaces up close. All the people you smile at smile right back (and some even smile first).

This is the way life is SUPPOSED to be.

When we are on purpose, when we humans have a solid goal, not just fort the next couple of days, but for life in general, it’s a lot easier to “click.” 

You’re humming along just like a chainsaw, slicing through all obstacles in your path.

If you DON’T have any idea of what you’re creating in life, it can feel like you’re running in circles.

You try one thing, it works for a while, then it falls to pieces. Then maybe something else, but you get the same result. You start off like gangbusters, but as soon as you run into trouble, it gets hard to find your mojo.

It’s easy to let your goals and direction be chosen by somebody else.

In fact, the way society is built, it takes an almost gargantuan effort to avoid being led around like a lost puppy.

Back in the old days, all you needed were your instincts, and you’d be fine. A desire for some kind of income, a desire for some kind of relationships, and some safety, and you were good.

But today you MUST choose. Not in extreme detail, just enough to give yourself some direction.

If you were wandering across the desert, for example, and you had zero idea where you were going, it’d be easy to wander in circles until you were buzzard food.

On the other hand, if you had a clear destination in mind, you’d have a much better chance.

Once you’ve got a clear direction pulling you forward, you’ll be much more “in tune” with what’s going on.

This Will Help:

Self Confidence Generator

Two Requirements For Happy Relationships

The Essential Ingredients That Are The Basis Of Every Lasting Relationship

Get These Right And You’ll Be On Easy Street

Many guys look at relationships the wrong way. So do many women. A common belief is that there is something “missing” and that once we get into a relationship with the right person, that missing piece will be filled, and we’ll be more complete.

That’s sort of true, but not in the way we think.

Part of that comes from our natural tendency to mix metaphors. We think in terms of creating like going somewhere. And what happens when you are going somewhere? There’s the going part, and the arriving part.

What happens after the arriving part? We usually think of sitting around and not doing much. 

Even when we talk about becoming “successful” in life (whatever  THAT means) we use terms like “I’ve arrived!”

Meaning all the “work” is done, and you just need to enjoy the fruits of your labor.

Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on how you look at it) it doesn’t really work like that.

In reality, we never really “arrive” anywhere. We get to new levels, new situations, expanded responsibilities and skills, but we never get to a point were we just get to kick back and enjoy life.

Even sports teams that win major championships don’t rest too long. They know after a couple weeks, they need to start getting in shape to defend their title.

If you’re in any kind of business, every successful product launch is the start of researching something even better.

A lot of problems guys have with girls is that they can’t find a girl who will fit into their ideal model of their ideal partner.

But here’s the thing. Humans are hard wired to see sexual partners as wealth creating partners.

For the longest time in human history, the main requirement to human bonding was a shared responsibility in finding and accumulating wealth, whatever “wealth” meant at the time.

Which means if you are looking for a partner, she’s at least got to have an understanding by what you mean by “finding and accumulating wealth.”

Now, this is a very vague term, and I don’t mean “money” when I say “wealth.” I mean whatever it is you are creating with your life. Whatever goals or careers you’ve got lined up.

The happiest couples compliment and support each other. It’s not a one way street.

This can only come naturally when there are two things present.

One is there must be real attraction. You can’t just hand her your resume and hope she’s convinced by your stats.

You’ve got to talk to her in a way that gets her juices flowing.

Not just once, but consistently.

The second thing you must have is an absolute faith in yourself that your plan for your life is important and worthy.

Sadly, most guys have neither of these.

If you don’t, start building them.

Is Your Inner Caveman Holding You Back?

Give Your Rational Mind A Chance

Leave Your Instincts Behind

Society is filled with paradoxes and contradictions.

A lot of them are simply because we are living in modern societies with caveman brains.

Our mind / body system was developed to live within groups of 200-300 people. Which can lead to problems in a society with hundreds of millions.

One idea is that we can hold about 200-300 people in our brain. Not necessarily their names, but their faces and how we interact with them. 

Like that girl you normally interact with down at the coffee shop. You see her outside of the coffee shop,  you would recognize her. Not necessarily from where, but you would see her face, feel that emotional signal of recognition.

Once you start going outside that 200-300 limit, it starts to get fuzzy. You start thinking you recognize people, when you really don’t.

Another holdover is our deep fear of being socially ostracized. Back in our caveman days, if we felt socially threatened, that was a HUGE and potentially life threatening issue.

So we developed all kinds of deep ninja emotions that kept us on guard of our social “health.”

Even a weird look, or seeing people talking in whispers would sound off alarm bells. 

Maybe they’re talking about us! Maybe the tribe is plotting something behind our back! Maybe we’re in big trouble!

These issues still plague us today. If you see a couple of people looking at you and whispering, you’ll immediately assume their talking trash about you.

Most people WOULDN’T assume they thought you were the most amazing person ever, and they were strategizing how to get on your good side.

The good news is these ancient social instincts can be overridden.

With a little bit of mental practice, you can ditch those old social fears, and grab the self confidence to do anything.

Imagine what you could do if you had ZERO social fear. If you could walk up and talk to that interesting stranger (who was super sexy or a potential super rich business partner) and talk to them as comfortably and fearlessly as an old buddy from kindergarten?

Imagine if you could stand up in a crowd of strangers, instantly command their attention and respect, and express your ideas in the best possible way.

This is your potential.

This is what happens when you leave your caveman instincts behind.

Are you ready?

Are You A Bully?

Is This Your Best Strategy For Gaining Compliance?

Stop Pushing People Around!

Many people are easy to persuade to do something. The truth about the best salesperson on any kind of sales force is that they are usually pretty high energy. You’ll see this in many different industries.

They may not be “in your face” type of high energy, but they are pretty relentless. In most sales, one technique (certainly not the best) is to simply keep closing until the client just gives up and buys.

There’s a famous book called “When I Say No I Feel Guilty” which is about being assertive. There’s a technique in there called “The Broken Record.” This is exactly like it sounds. You just keep repeating your point until the other side gives up.

It works great if your dealing with a fussy customer service person, or trying to get a refund without a receipt.  

What about sales, or even seduction?

First, lets consider sales. You’ve got a product, and your client may or may not want it. Ideally, they’d buy it for their own reasons. But if you sit around and wait for them to come up with their own reasons, you may be waiting a while.

So you start to push them, slightly. You say buy, they say no. You say buy, they say maybe. You say buy, they say give me a better deal. You say buy, they say OK.

Now, this may seem like some masterful sales technique that only advanced persuaders know, but it’s really only a hair above bullying.

You’re not really building up value in the product. Your just making it more uncomfortable for them to say no. So maybe by comparison, buying is looking like a better option. If only to get you out of their face.

The only problem comes when they get home, use the product, and find out it sucks. Then they feel conned. Angry. Cheated. By you.

Lots of guys do this with girls. Lots of girls have low self esteem. Lots of guys have low self esteem.

So what happens when you keep pressuring somebody that has low self esteem? They give in, that’s what.

But then they get buyers remorse. This is why you may be getting laid a lot, but then they vanish.

They are getting buyers remorse.

How do you avoid that? Don’t bully them. Don’t overwhelm them with what you want until they give in.

Take your time. Talk to them about things they like. Things they dream about. Their ideal future. Their ideal job. Their favorite movies, etc.

Of course, you’ve got to go back and forth a bit, ask and share, etc.

But if you spend some time opening them up, talking about what they like, they’ll start seeing you through the filter and frame of their own desires.

Which means they’ll start liking you for THEIR reasons, rather than yours.

Make It Easy:

Are You Ready To Leave The Pack?

Leave The Crowd Behind

Go You Own Way

Long time ago, I went on a backpacking trip in Scotland.

I was coming from the States, and was meeting a buddy of mine in some train station I’d never been to, next to some big clock, which was a popular meeting place.

I was coming from Southern California, and he was coming from Texas.

It seemed simple enough on paper, but the logistics were pretty complicated.

Especially since I hadn’t really planned HOW I was going to get there. I was just going to “wing it” as I went.

My first “test” came in getting from the London airport to the London train station to the Glasgow train station.

Luckily, there were enough other people who were leaving the airport, via bus, to the train station.

So I didn’t really need to do much thinking. A mix of following the signs, and following the crowd.

Mostly following the crowd.

When I finally arrived smack dab in the middle of Glasgow, I didn’t really remember much of how I got there.

I’m sure you’ve had similar experiences. It seems that humans are hard wired on a deep level to simply forget themselves, and go with the flow.

In fact, up until the recent past (and I mean the RECENT past) humans have done pretty good to kind of just “go with the flow.”

Go to school, show up every day, do your homework like you’re told, pick a college, send out some resumes, get a job, show up on time, do what you’re told, and you can make enough money to live a pretty good life.

In a sense, our entire society is built so we don’t have to do much “thinking.”

You may have to stop and look at a couple signs on the way, but then you just get right back in the shuffle.

And for many people, this is perfectly fine. So long as you’ve got enough extra cash left over every month to buy some nice things, it’s all good, right?

Only that way of living is quickly coming to a close.

For whatever reason, just following the crowd, and doing what you’re told is no longer good enough.

In fact, if that’s ALL you did, there’s a good chance you’d end up in a pretty bad place.

Now more than ever, it’s up to each and every one of us to wake up and see what’s going on.

NOT to to be super heroes and save society or anything corny like that, but to simply save ourselves.

Because as I’m sure you know, NOBODY is going to do this for you.

A really scary thought to be sure. But also incredibly liberating once  you fully accept it.

Once you break out of the “follow the crowd” mindset, there’s really not much you can’t do.

If enough people like you start doing that, it may very well save society.