Category Archives: Conversational Skills

Picking Up Girls on Skull Island

Chocolate Filled Love Cake

Imagine if you wanted to cook something.

But you had no idea how.

So you just poured a bunch of random stuff into a pan, and put it in the over.

Or imagine you were at a party, and you saw a piano.

You had an idea that you wanted to play and sing and hopefully impress a few people.

But you’d never taken singing lessons or piano lessons.

So you just started banging randomly on the keys, hoping a melody would come out.

This is like the “Shakespeare Monkey Island” theory.

That if you had an island of monkeys all randomly banging on typewriters, eventually one of them would produce “Hamlet” or some other Shakespearean play.

This is theoretically true, but it may take a few hundred thousand years.

Similarly, if you just kept banging randomly on the piano, you MIGHT come up with a decent tune.

But it would take a long time.

Sadly, this is how most guys TRY and create attraction in females.

They try things haphazardly, and hope for the best.

One of the common mistakes is to just “tell her how you feel” hoping she’ll magically reciprocate.

This would be like opening your oven and saying how much you’d like to eat a chocolate cake.

If there’s nothing in the oven it doesn’t matter how much you plead.

That cake ain’t gonna bake itself!

Luckily, you CAN create the right emotions in the right order in the right woman.

You just need a recipe.

And just like a chocolate cake, if you follow the instructions, you’ll get the right result.

Frosting and everything!

And once you get the “recipe” down, you can use it again and again.

Learn How:

Hypnotic Seduction

Approach Anxiety Brain

How To Turn Off Approach Anxiety

One of the cleverest ways we deceive ourselves is when we tell ourselves WHY we aren’t going to take action.

And guys who give themselves reasons for NOT approaching are super genius.

Our brains are very squirrely.

We’ll do anything to protect our egos.

One way we do this is when we lie to ourselves about WHY we aren’t going to approach.

She’s not my type.

She’s too flirty with too many guys.

She’s a little too fat/skinny/tall/short/whatever.

But in reality, the REAL REASON is always fear of social exposure, and social rejection.

The twin horrors the make up approach anxiety.

Walking over is like making a massive declaration.


And then you walk over, and EVERYBODY is watching you.

There’s a scene from an old Steve Martin movie, “The Lonely Guy.”

He walks into a restaurant ALONE, and as soon as he tells the hostess this, everybody stops and stares.

The entire restaurant watches as he walks in, ALONE, and sits.

That’s what walking across any space toward a female FEELS LIKE.

Like the whole world is watching your performance.

Now, anybody can give “advice” about what to do.

Like “Just don’t care about the outcome.”

Or “rejection is better than regret.”

Unfortunately, the part of our brain that comes up with feelings like fear and anxiety can’t be reasoned with.

That would be like telling a person on a diet to just “not be hungry.”

If it were easy to “not be hungry” then 2/3’s of developed countries wouldn’t be overweight.

So you can’t really just “not be afraid.”

At least through sheer willpower and conscious thought.

But you CAN through careful reprogramming.

You CAN reprogram yourself, if you do so a little bit at a time.

And before long, it really is EASY to “not care.”

And that means that approaching cute girls ANYWHERE can be FUN, like it’s supposed to be.

So fun that you’ll ONLY WANT numbers from girls who are interesting enough, smart enough or WHATEVER enough for you tastes.

Learn How:

Zero Fear Game

Unlock Your Power

Essential Variable Of Successful Seduction

What’s the secret line to say to any girl and make her fall in love with you?

That is the most common desire that most guys have.

Unfortunately, it’s the wrong question.

It would be like walking into a bakery, and asking about your upcoming birthday party.

“What is the BEST icing to put on the cake to make sure everybody likes the cake?”

If you asked that question, the baker would laugh and ask you what you meant.

Similarly, what you SAY to a girl is not nearly as important as what YOU are under the words.

Think about what words are. A way to describe the thoughts in our mind.

People “judge us” (whether we like it or not) based on WHO we are.

Our thoughts and the words we describe them with give them an IDEA of who we are.

Think of it this way.

Imagine there WAS some kind of “pick up line” that had been created by seduction scientists in their seduction lab.

And imagine a few hundred different guys went out to say this “magic” pick up line.

Some of the guys were nervous and sweaty.

Other guys were confident and laid back.

Some guys had horrible breath.

Other guys couldn’t make eye contact to save their lives.

If you looked at all the results, and you did a scientific analysis, you would come to the conclusion that the words are the LEAST important.

Since that was the ONE THING that all the guys shared, but they got different results.

So the actual WORDS you say to her aren’t the most important thing.

Or they don’t NEED to be.

Or they are important but only AFTER you get the “basics down.”

What are the basics?

A certain attitude, that you CANNOT fake.

One that radiates a POWERFUL MESSAGE to every girl you interact with, verbally or not.

One that says, “there are plenty of girls, and I’m talking to you to see if you are interesting enough for me.”

With this UNDERLYING attitude, that you radiate with your energy (body language, eye contact, movements, gestures, etc), what you say isn’t nearly as important.

Of course, if you decide AFTER you talk to her long enough, that she IS qualified, you CAN use language technology.

But it won’t be to IMPRESS her.

It will be to ENJOY her.

How do you get this underlying attitude?

Like This:
Zero Fear Game

Easy Peasy

Become The Naturally Attractive Man

What turns a woman on more than anything?

It’s not something she knows, or can anticipate.

Think of a woman’s desire as you would your own hunger.

Sure, you can sit there and list all the foods you want.

But since hunger is an instinct that responds to our environment, and not our conscious brains, it gets turned on whether we like it or not.

Food could be the last thing on our mind, but if we smell or see something good, our hunger takes over.

Whatever we were thinking of is GONE, and all we want to do is eat.

This is the way a female responds to a naturally attractive man.

Sure, she and her friends can sit around and play pretend.

They can list out the qualities they THINK they want.

But when a naturally attractive man shows up, she’ll want him just as much as YOU want that food that suddenly came out of nowhere.

The million dollar question:

How do you become the naturally attractive man?

Is it money? Clothing? The right cologne? The right combination of pick up lines?

Luckily, it is none of these.

Now, this is going to sound like the oldest advice in the book, but stick with me.

That naturally attractive male quality that makes women UNABLE to get their minds off him is CONFIDENCE.

Now, what is confidence?

It’s not what most people think.

Confidence is the absolutely ABSENCE of any anxiety or worry.

Imagine a guy sees a girl.

She’s physically attractive, but to a naturally attractive, and FEARLESS man, that’s not enough.

Since pretty girls are a dime a dozen.

So he talks to her.

And his attitude is “I like you so far, but my attraction to you is always conditional on your behavior, intelligence, and anything else I come up with.”

This cannot be faked.

But if you HAVE this attitude, NOTHIGN else will matter.

Wanna know why women are so angry today?

They are hard wired to FOLLOW a man, but not just any man.

They want a guy who is naturally confident in his own skin.

Not a guy that is worried about what to do, or say, or trying hard to please her.

They guy that can at the same time, express an interest in her AND radiate the “take it or leave it” attitude.

How do you BECOME that guy?

Here’s How:

Zero Fear Game

Embrace The Unknown

Powerful One Two Charismatic Punch

Often there is a HUGE chasm between the thoughts and ideas in our heads, and the words that come out of our mouths.

One of the mainstays of a comedy is some character that says something really goofy, gets embarrassed, and then says, “That didn’t come out right…”

Just that we understand that’s funny means it’s a common human experience.

Having clear ideas in mind, but they come out as jumbled up nonsense.

Most of the time, though, we tend to overlook the main issue.

We think if we ONLY had the words, it would be easy.

But when it comes to human communication, words are just the icing on the cake.

How we express those ideas inside our heads takes a LOT MORE than just words.

And most of the time, the words themselves are not the most important part.

Meaning if you have an “understandable enough” set of words, but the underlying energy is positive, attractive and charismatic, you’re good to go.

You might even consider that the feeling of “not having the right words” to be an EFFECT rather than a cause.

Consider that the cause might be the not having the right “frame” to speak from.

As humans tend to do, we often misunderstand the relationship between cause and effect.

It’s easy to get them backward.

But here’s the cool part.

If you take the time to build up the “frame” (which contains all the positive attractive energy) the words can take care of themselves.

Even better, when you combine the right “frame” WITH the right words, you can be unstoppable.

Learn How:

Stop Manipulation

Bam! Pow!

Ninja Language Patterns

We humans use a lot of vagueness.

Both in our thinking, and our language.

We have to.

There is just TOO much stuff going on inside and outside to communicate otherwise.

There’s a movie called “The Usual Suspects.”

It’s considered a classic, or even a cult favorite.

But the MEANING of the movie is VERY vague.

So much so that when the writer and the director finished making the movie, and were ready to go on the press tour, they had a HUGE fight.

One guy had the impression that most of the movie was TRUE, (meaning the events in the movie actually happened) and only a little bit was imaginary.

On the other hand, the other guy thought most of the movie was a HALLUCINATION of one of the characters, and very little was actually true.

If you’ve seen the movie, you can get this.

You can see BOTH interpretations when you see it.

Either mostly real, or mostly a hallucination.

This is one of the problems with vague language and vague thinking.

It’s also one of our BIGGEST weak points.

Because when something is wrong, we tend to IMAGINE the worst.

That’s how we managed to survive in our very ancient and very harsh environment.

If our ancestors had always assumed the BEST, we would have died out a long time ago.

So we’re kind of stuck with that “imagine the worst” response to vague and unknown things.

Which can make us vulnerable, if somebody KNOWS how to push our buttons.

All they have to do is LOOK at us funny, and we’ll imagine all kinds of horrible things.

Even worse if they say something that’s even a little mean, but still kind of vague.

They might let out a sigh, roll their eyes and say, “I KNEW you were doing to do that.”

Even if we’ve done NOTHING, that simple and VERY VAGUE statement can make us feel horrible.

Luckily, there is a VERY POWERFUL way to defend against any kind of VAGUE statement.

So simple it will make people that toss insults quake in their boots.

It’s easy to learn, and simple to use.

And once you TEACH the world HOW to respond to you, they will

Learn How:

Stop Manipulation

All In Your Mind

How To Calibrate Your Energy

I used to work in this huge lab.

We had all kinds of expensive equipment used for measuring all kinds of stuff.

Each one had to be calibrated.

Some every day, some once a year.

There was another lab, (with one guy) and his only job was to make sure the calibration of all the stuff (in my lab and in the other labs) was all up to date.

We made stuff that was regulated by the FDA, and they’d pop in unannounced every once in a while and check.

How do you calibrate something?

Compare it to a standard.

For example, one of the units of measure for pressure is millimeters of mercury.

A glass column filled with liquid mercury will exert a certain pressure relative to the height.

So you increase the actual column height of the actual mercury, and then compare that to how the electronic pressure gauge is reading.

You can calibrate people the same way.

This is one of those exercises people do in NLP seminars.

Ask a person two questions, and get them to tell the truth on one, and lie on the other.

The idea is you relax your mind, defocus your eyes, you can read the difference their energy between lying and telling the truth.

If you do a few times by calibrating (knowing when they are lying so you can accurately measure they’re “lying energy”), then you can have fun.

It’s a lot easier than people think.

The thing about us humans is we’ve been around a long time, and been effectively communicating with one another LONG BEFORE spoken language was invented.

But if ALL you focus on is spoken language, you’ll mist over NINETY PERCENT of people’s true message.

Think about the difference between really GOOD actors and really TERRIBLE actors.

Both are given the words to say. Both are told HOW to say those words.

But some are really good, (and are worth millions) and some are not so good.

What’s the difference?

Inner congruence. We believe the million dollar actors.

The straight to streaming actors, not so much.

How do you develop that inner congruence?

By accepting and appreciating ALL your energy.

Few people ever consider this.

Most folks only know they have good stuff, and bad stuff.

They chase the good stuff, and ignore anything that causes discomfort, anxiety, or fear.

But if you appreciate ALL your energy, and learn to express it through all of your communication, there is magic.

Learn More:

Sex Transmutation

Quantum Love

Both Sides Of Metaphysics

In Quantum Physics they have a metaphor called “The Great Smoky Dragon.”

It refers to the idea that at its most basic, fundamental level, the nature of reality is not measurable.

Meaning any kind of system has a lot of components.

When talking about a particle, it’s got mass, spin, charge, direction, momentum (which is a function of mass and speed).

But the MORE you know any one of those, the LESS you can know the other.

This is different than taking the temperature of a pot of hot water.

When you do that, you lower the water by soaking some of the heat into the thermometer.

But matter, at it’s fundamental level can only exist as a probability wave in some parts, and a physical entity in other parts.

It CAN be pure probability wave, but it can NEVER be wholly physical.

The Great Smoky Dragon metaphor is the idea that you can see the dragon’s head, you can see the dragon’s tail, but the middle is a vague puff of smoke.

Most people are aware of the idea that we are “not physical beings having a spiritual experience, but spiritual beings having a physical experience.”

But what if that’s not accurate?

What if that is only a metaphor, like the smoky dragon is a metaphor (which is a metaphor with a metaphor since dragons are metaphorical creatures).

What if the “other side,” we are really spiritual creatures having a physical experience, but on “this side” we are physical creatures having a spiritual experience?

One thing about metaphors if that if you start to think they are REAL, you can get into trouble.

What if your boss said that you’ve got to go and kill some dragons.

But he was metaphorically referring to taking market share from your competition.

Only you thought he was being literal, and you showed up with your dragon killing tools.

You’d look pretty silly!

They say that before you become enlightened, you have to chop wood and carry water.

And after enlightenment, you still gotta chop wood and carry water.

So what’s the point?

Maybe the point is that chopping wood and carrying water AFTER being “enlightened” is a lot better.

That’s why any kind of system should be accessible from both perspectives.

Both your “enlightened self” and your “unenlightened self” is going to need an ax and bucket.

And any other tools you use to help you succeed should address both sides.

Luckily, the energy (just like the wood and the water) that makes up both sides is the same.

Learn More:

Sex Transmutation

Play The Long Game

How To Play The Long Game

Imagine if it were only possible to imagine two days into the future.

No matter what else was going on, whenever somebody started referencing more than two days out, their voice would sound like garbled nonsense.

If you read anything that referred to anything more than two days out, it would shift into unintelligible scribbles.

If your boss told you to about a meeting next week, it would seem like he was speaking Martian.

On the other hand, if he told you about a meeting tomorrow morning, it would make perfect sense.

Actually, you wouldn’t go to work unless you got paid every other day.

If boss said anything like, “work here for a week or two and then we’ll pay you,” it would sound like, “work here for blah blah blah blah….” and you wouldn’t take the job.

Imagine if all the food you had went bad after two days.

It just disappeared or something.

Obviously, life would be horrible. You’d have to be committed to a nuthouse, since taking care of yourself under those conditions while living in a modern world would be impossible.

This goofy metaphor DOES, however, point out a very necessary ingredient in being able to live a successful life.

The more you can FEEL the results of your actions today FAR out into the future, the more likely you’ll succeed.

Imagine something as simple as weight loss.

If ALL you could tell was how the food tasted RIGHT NOW, it would be tough to eat healthy.

On the other hand, what if every bite of junk food you took came with a VERY REAL image of the results in two, three, five or even ten years.

For example, imagine each time you took a bite of a Big Mac you had a vision of having a heart attack, along with the actual chest pains.

And each time you took a bit of something healthy, you got a vision of yourself with a chiseled body in mirror, along with actually hearing the voice of sexy people whispering, “Nice body, baby!” in your ear.

You might even say that when it comes to building a successful life, the ability to weigh the impact of your actions you consider today ON your distant future is the most important.

They say that this was the shift that made ancient humans shift from hunting to gathering.

After all, hunting is very dangerous. Farming not so much.

But if you’re a hunter, you can kill and eat something TODAY.

If you’re a farmer, it takes a LONG TIME to get going.

Luckily, building in this skill, of developing a LONG VISION, to help you choose the best actions to take, is easy.

And like any other skill, the more you practice, the better you’ll get.

Get Started:

Entrepreneurial Mind

Who Ordered The Brains?

The Structure Of Success

When I was a kid I love science.

Still do.

So when it came time to choose a major, I chose physics.

For a while, everything was pretty cool.

Until I hit those upper division classes.

With really difficult math.

At first I freaked.

I didn’t know if I could handle it.

I almost changed my major.

But I finally decided to stick with it.

And by going really slowly, and spending a lot of time studying, I finally managed to escape with a degree.

And once I figured out the “trick” to learning difficult math, it was easy.

Not easy, easy, but easier than I thought.

Before, I would listen to lectures, do the homework, and that was it.

And them cram for a couple hours before the exams.

But with those upper division classed, I had to change my strategy.

I found myself spending a few hours each weekend.

I needed to in order to keep up.

But once I got the “rhythm” it was normal again.

Meaning I didn’t worry, I just had to “re-calibrate” my studying frequency and duration.

And every other class after that was the same.

Since I’d learned the “study structure” of one class, I could apply it to all classes.

I’ve found the same thing is true in a lot of areas.

Once you step back and look at the “structure” you can apply the same “structure” to other things.

Kind of how you learn to ride one bike, you can pretty much ride all other bikes, so long as they have the same structure.

This is how our brains are wired. This is why we can live anywhere on Earth, even back before electricity and even agriculture.

Finding food, shelter, and staying away from dangerous animals has a similar structure.

Do it near the equator, you can do it at the north pole.

Sure, the content is different (predators, food, shelter) but the structure is the same.

Learning anything, skills, subjects, communication strategies, once you get the structure down, you can repeat it as often as you like.

Learn How:

End Self Sabotage