Tag Archives: conversations

Magic Ball Of Fame

How He Faked Fame

Once there was a student who did an experiment.

It was for his psychology class in college.

He wanted to see if he could “fake” being famous.

Or what would happen if he could.

So he got a crew together.

They each had a “role.”

One guy was a cameraman.

Another two guys pretended to be his bodyguards.

And another two females were his publicists.

He went to a local mall, and everybody played their part.

He even made up his name.

His publicists referred to this fake name as if it were a household name.

And said something vague like, “Fake Name is doing research for a future project.”

Pretty soon the whole mall was buzzing.

A crowd was following him, people were filming him, tweeting him and posting about him.

And they were all posting his name as if it were a famous, household name.

A name that had been made up from thin air only a couple hours ago.

The punch line, of course, is we humans pay MUCH more attention to structure than we like to believe.

So when we see the structure of fame, (a crew of people, bodyguards, pretty girls acting as publicists) we assume that he’s famous.

Even if we nor our friends have ever heard of the guy.

Because of the STRUCTURE of his behavior, we treat him (or would treat him) like a rock star.

So what’s the deeper punch line?

If you want to be important, you need to look important?

That’s one way.

But hiring a fake crew to follow you everywhere is kind of expensive.

But talking is free.

And you can talk in a way that can IMPLY social proof and authority.

So even if you’re all by your lonesome, you can carefully drop some presuppositions into your language.

So your listener will naturally ASSUME you’ve got massive social proof and authority.

But since it will be subconscious, it will feel like they discovered it on their own.

They’ll even think it’s their secret.

Even better is it will have the SAME EFFECT of having a crew of people around you all the time.

Learn How:

Seven Laws

Become A Natural Heartbreaker

She’ll Want You To Stay

Here’s wicked mind trick to play on a girl.

It’s not really mean, but it can be if you deliver it the wrong way.

If you do it playfully, it will make her VERY INTERESTED in you.

You see a girl you’re interested in. Then you find something about her (not her looks or anything based on her genetics) that you’d like to talk about.

Something that she CHOSE, like an article of clothing or something.

Understand this is NOT a neg hit or anything like that. You are just looking for something you’re generally interested in asking her about.

You walk up, and ask her the question.

“Excuse me, I noticed you had an interesting pair of shoes, I was wondering what the story was behind them.”

You’ve got to say this as even as possible. Not slyly, like you’re waiting to deliver a witty punch line or anything. It helps if you really ARE genuinely curious. It won’t work if she’s wearing a plain pair of shoes.

She’ll tell you, and then you ask a couple follow up questions. Then when you’re satisfied, say something like this:

“Thanks. I thought you were pretty cute and then I saw your shoes and just had to know. Take care,” and then SPLIT.

This is NOT a trick to get her number.

This is NOT a trick to make her like you.

This is a MASSIVE confidence building exercise.

It ONLY WORKS if you walk away BEFORE it gets uncomfortable.

Because as you walk away, you’ll FEEL HER watching you and wondering why the heck you didn’t number close her.

Do this enough times and it will build up MASSIVE CONFIDENCE in your ability to talk to and create attraction in women.

Which means any girl you talk to will be begging for more.

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Bikini Girls Are Everywhere

Easily Unlearn Social Anxiety

Being able to accurately predict the future would be a pretty good skill.

You could know which stocks to buy, and when to bring an umbrella when you go out.

Governments spend billions and trillions of dollars to try and predict the movements of their “enemies.”

Imagine if you could know the winning lotto numbers ahead of time!

There have been plenty movies and books written about such things.

Another common desire is to know what people are thinking.

You could know which person to approach, and when to close the sale (or close the deal).

You’d be able to make a kajillion dollars as a negotiator.

Thing is though that people CAN be pretty easy to read.

After all, we all want the same things and we all fear the same things.

And if you’re in a certain environment, you can have a pretty good idea of what’s going on in people’s minds.

IF, (and this is a big IF) your mind isn’t clouded with anxiety.

Feeling anxiety in social situations is more common than most people realize.

Most people have the idea that they are the ONLY ONE that is feeling anxious.

Because they look around and see everybody as calm and relaxed.

But the truth is that feeling anxious around strangers is a natural and normal response.

Just like feeling hungry all of a sudden when you smell food.

But if you can REMOVE this anxiety, the first thing you’ll notice is how easy it is to read people.

Then you’ll SEE and FEEL that everybody has got some level of anxiety.

When most people go into social situations, they feel a certain amount of risk.

Which is why most people fear rejection on some level.

But when you develop the ability read people (which is pretty automatic once you remove the anxiety) there will be very little chance of rejection.

It will almost be like reading their minds.

You’ll know who talk to and what to say, and when to “close” however you’d like to.

Worrying about what to say won’t become an issue, since you’ll be in the moment, and you’ll be much more natural.

Open to the natural flow that happens when two people are “vibing.”

And you’ll understand why it’s not really a matter of “learning” things you need, rather than a matter of “unlearning” things you DON’T need.

And as you’ll soon find out, unlearning unhelpful things is pretty easy once you know how.

Click Here to learn how.

Acres of Cornfields

The Essential Skill That Nobody Knows

Why do people talk?

I mean why do us humans use words?

Sure, communication is nice, but why is it necessary?

How did it happen, and why were those who used it able to succeed better than those who weren’t?

I know, silly question.

Giving instructions, listening to stories, all this helped primitive humans a lot more than grunts and sounds.

But here’s an interesting experiment.

Next time you’re in a conversation with your buddies, and you’re just sitting around, go into “observer” mode.

Not for very long. And certainly NOT as an excuse to not participate.

But just to get out of the conversation a bit. Study the structure of the words and sentences that people are using.

See how well people describe their ideas.

It won’t take long to realize that most casual conversations are not really much more than grunts.

Not a lot of well thought out ideas.

This is even more eye opening if you position yourself next to a cute girl in a social setting.

And listen to how the guys hit on her.

Listen to how well (or how poorly) their language is structured.

Again, you’ll be surprised (or maybe not so surprised) how “thrown together” people’s approach at a clear attempt at persuasion.

If you wanted to take this experiment even further, take a walk into some high end retail shops. Car lots. Even a real estate office if you’re brave.

Reverse engineer the structure of their sales presentation.

See how well thought out it is (or isn’t). Most of the time, you’ll find that even the HIGHEST PAID sales people don’t do much more than tell you how AWESOME their product is. Over and over and over. Until you give up and buy.

Most people start a conversation, they have a very VAGUE idea of what they want.

Salespeople want a sale. Pickup artists want to get laid.

But other than that, most people have a half baked idea, they spit out a randomly chosen jumble of words, and hope for the best.

If it doesn’t work, they usually repeat themselves. Maybe swap out a word or two. And hope it works.

The truth about language is that BECAUSE it is hard wired into our brains, that we do it without thinking, we assume we can’t improve on it.

We can’t make it better. We can’t practice like we’d practice the piano or martial arts.

But we can.

You can.

And when you do, when you start to do the daily drills (just like you would for the piano or martial arts) there are few people you will meet throughout your lifetime that will be able to match your skills.

Isn’t that worth a few minutes a day of language practice?

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Covert Hypnosis

Frame Wars

How To Watch Frame Games

Listening in to other people’s conversations can tell you a lot about human nature.

Now, I don’t mean sneaking over to your neighbor’s house and putting you ear to their door.

I mean when you’re hanging out with your friends.

It can be a lot of fun to take the “observer” position from time to time.

Keep in mind this is different than using that as an excuse for not getting involved.

But next time you’re hanging out with three or four people, keep quiet for a few minutes and just notice the exchange.

Notice how people “put their ideas out there,” notice people’s eye movements and facial expressions when they speak, and more importantly, when they finish speaking.

Some people quickly look around, hoping their idea is accepted, or hoping it’s not rejected.

Some people look away, like they can’t bear to see.

Some people stare at others, as if they are aggressively daring others to contradict them.

Now, this all happens subconsciously, and few people will EVER be aware that this is going on.

But it is.


Evolutionary scientists tell us that all human interaction is a kind of “frame war,” which is a remnant of our evolutionary past.

When we were hunter-gatherers, our social status was absolutely crucial.

Those that had MORE social status got more sex, and food. And then passed on those “get more social status genes” to more kids.

Amongst animals, there’s an idea of a “pecking order.” It literally comes from chickens, who are in a group with a certain hierarchy. The “dominant’ ones get to eat, or peck first when food shows up. Then on down the line.

Whenever a new member is introduced into the group, there’s a kind of “domination showdown” to establish the NEW pecking order.

Our human instincts are based on operating within a group of about 300 people.

Which means all the people you interact with are, on a caveman level, people who you are UNSURE about, with regards to THEIR level in the pecking order.

Which is why you see all these “frame wars” in conversations, even amongst friends.

Because part of our subconscious is ALWAYS trying to move up the social chain.

Now, if you point this out to people, they will deny it. Because admitting consciously that you want more social status sounds pretty shallow. And admitting this out loud will actually LOWER your social status.

Which is why EVERYBODY is hard wired to keep it on the down low.

Which is why watching people talk is so much fun. Like watching a boxing match.

Of course, there are plenty of ways to INCREASE your ability to carefully and COVERTLY move up the social chain, without anybody knowing.

They’ll just know there’s something different about YOU.

Something that makes them want to agree with you. Support you. Follow you.

Think that would be useful?

Learn How:

Frame Control

Slip Right In

Slowly Or All At Once?

I was playing golf a long while ago.

I was sitting in the cart, waiting for my friend to t-off.

I looked up, and written on the ceiling of the cart was this:

“This is why your game sucks. You can’t keep your head down!”

I thought that was pretty funny. Because you have to look up to see that writing.

One of the reasons people can’t “keep their head down” in golf is they want to look up before they are done swinging.

For most people, it’s because they are worried about messing up, so they can’t wait to check.

Kind of like in school, after a difficult test, when the teacher hands them back face down.

You turn them over slowly, thinking that maybe if you “sneak up” on your score, it won’t be so bad.

Some people, when they start conversations with new people, are very hesitant.

Even their movements are jerky. If you could imagine the other person’s “frame” and your “frame” it’s like you sort of “bounce off” their frame a few times before entering, because of the fear of what may happen.

Kind of like jumping into a swimming pool. Some people jump right in. Others take their sweet time.

Those that jump right in get acclimated much quicker. Those that take their sweet time take about a minute with every inch they further submerse themselves.

Then there are those that neither jump or go slowly. They walk right in. They don’t make a big splash, but they don’t standing their with their hands out above the water acting like they are walking into a pool of carbonite.

They walk in, get about to waist or chest level, take a deep breath and purposely submerse their body.

They don’t fear the cold, they embrace it.

Imagine walking up to another person like that.

Some people go timidly, back and forth, taking forever to break the ice.

Others do the opposite. They walk up with some extremely blatant “line” that supposedly makes them stand out as super alpha.

Then there are those that just walk up and start talking. Completely open, and relaxed.

Which works the best?

Imagine you’re the person being talked to. Which do you prefer? Some super timid person? Some super aggressive alpha-type that needs to blow all resistance out of the water?

Or somebody that just walks up and starts talking?

And not just “talking” but “communicating.” Back and forth. Interactive. Not passive, and not aggressive.

How would that feel?

Pretty good.

How do YOU be that person?

Here’s How: