Monthly Archives: December 2014

Easy Ways To Keep Talking To A Girl

How To Keep A Conversation Going With A Girl

Keep The Conversation Flowing Like Water

Most guys can walk up to a girl, say “hi,” and maybe get  her smiling.

Then what?

Knowing how to keep a conversation flowing, and her feeling relaxed and not under any pressure, is essential to being able to effectively increase her interest.

So, how do you do that?

You could come up with a bunch of stuff to say beforehand, as some people recommend, but then you’d be like a roving stand up comedian. If she doesn’t like your “act” then you don’t have much to fall back on.

A much better strategy would be to combine a couple of ideas from covert hypnosis.

One is called “Utilization.” This is when you simply take whatever she gives you, and use it. This way, you won’t freak out if she doesn’t respond the way you think she “should.”

The other thing to use is to elicit her own “trance states.”

Now, this doesn’t mean pull out your watch and start swinging like some goof up on stage.

What it does mean is eliciting, or get her talking about things she’s really interested in.

Now, most girls are going to freeze up if you walk up and start asking her all kinds of personal questions.

If You Lead, She Will Follow

Always Go First

Which is why you’ve got to go first. Meaning you mention some stuff you’re interested in, then ask her opinion.

Don’t argue or bust on her if hers are different. That comes later.

At this stage of the conversation, you’re just interested in getting her talking about things that make her feel good.

Since they are  her ideas, and not your stories or techniques, there won’t be any resistance.

Then just keep “digging for gold” and get her more and more juiced about her own ideas.

The ideal outcome for this conversational tactic is to get her talking about her “ideal future” with regards to hobbies, jobs, school, or whatever she’s comfortable talking about.

Granted, this takes time, and practice. But once you get to this level, you won’t need any kind of memorized game or patterns or even any bling.

Because she’ll be talking about her ideal future, all while looking at you.

Which will get her to subconsciously associate the two, together, (you and her dreams) in her mind.

And when you can do that, you’re doing pretty good.

This can help:

Frame Control

How To Double Tap Social Charisma

Understanding Structure vs. Content

Secrets Of Reality

One thing that’s tough to wrap our minds around is structure vs. content.

We are always focused on content, and we always think that content is the driving force of our actions, but it rarely is.

I recently finished this dense book about the nature of human consciousness, which described that more and more of our decision making process is not what we think it is.

The content, or the reason we think we do stuff, is just an “after the fact” story, made up that “sounds good.”

It’s like our subconscious is doing all the decision making, and our poor conscious minds are following behind, trying to think up reasons why we’re doing stuff.

Consider the idea of social proof. This is widely known, and very powerful.

Let’s say you’re walking down the street, and you see a big crowd. They all look like you (at least close enough, same demographic, etc) so now you’re REALLY interested.

So you walk up and you see they’re buying some electronic gizmo. You aren’t sure what it is, but everybody looks pretty excited. There are even reporters there. You see a couple of friends, who offer to let you join their group.

So you get in line, buy the gizmo, and get home. Your roommate, spouse, whoever, asks why you bought it.

What do you tell them?

“Everybody else was buying it, so I thought I’d buy it too! I don’t even know what it does!”

Probably not.

By the time you got home, you’d have come up with some “logical” reasons why you bought it. Some “logical” purpose that you’d use it for.

If you were walking down the street, and saw that NOBODY was waiting in line, would you still have bought it?

Not likely.

Now, this is easy to see when other people do it, but pretty difficult to see when it happens to us. After all, we’re in charge of our lives, right? We make rational decisions, right? We always know why we’re doing what we’re doing, right? 

Not as much as we’d like to think.

But once you understand how these subconscious “structures” work, and how they pre-frame pretty much ALL “content,” you can leverage them to your advantage.

How?

Secrets of Massive Authority

Generate Massive Authority

Humans are social animals. Which means we’re driven by socially based systems.

Social proof is one. Another very POWERFUL one is leadership, or authority.

We are just likely to “follow the leader” as we are to “follow the crowd.”

How do you use this to your advantage?

Easy.

Just become the leader. When you develop the inner beliefs and mindset of a natural leader, people will follow you. And just like in the social proof example, they’ll make up their own reasons. Which means you won’t have to convince them.

And once a few people start to do THAT, you’ll not only have AUTHORTY but a lot of social proof as well.

To learn how, check this out:

Frame Control

Practice Makes Perfect

How To Practice Drilling

Game Time and Practice Time

The best night I ever had with a girl was when I absolutely did not care.

I wasn’t angry, and I wasn’t trying to get anything specific.

I was just relaxed, in a mixed crowd of some folks I knew and some I didn’t know.

I just said whatever was on my mind, sexual or not.

And the girls were just eating it up, including this one super cutie I ended up with.

This was way back in college, when I had no clue how “game” worked, or even what “game” was.

The truth is that this is now “naturals” are all the time.

They don’t have a specific “outcome” in mind, other than having fun and enjoying people’s company.

They are just as likely to flirt with old ladies in line at the supermarket as they are hotties at the club.

If you were to “reverse” engineer their outer behavior, you’d miss a HUGE piece of the puzzle.

It’s very similar to sports, or playing an instrument. If you were playing the piano, for example, and you focused intently on each and every note, you’d be a mess. Similarly if you were playing basketball, for example and you were intently focused on every single dribble, and exactly when and where you should stop and take a shot, you’d also be a mess.

Take Shots To Get Good At Taking Shots

How To Practice Game

Now, if you’re not a natural, that doesn’t mean you have no hope.

But here’s the thing. In your mind, there should be a difference between “practice” and “real” interaction.

Whenever you’re out for “real,” you should simply relax, and enjoy other people. Follow your instincts. Say what’s on your mind. Talk to whomever you want to talk to.

But when you practice, you should see it as practice. Meaning you really should take a few hours each week to PRACTICE your game. Practice talking to people. Practice making and holding eye contact.

Then when you’re relaxed and having fun, simply relax, and have fun.

Basketball players practice by doing drills. Then when they play in a real game, they let loose and go with the flow.

Musicians practice by doing drills, practicing scales, etc. But when they’re playing a live set, they relax and go with the flow.

Hopefully, by now, you’ve come to a realization.

When you are in that state of “flow,” the best you can is whatever level of practice you are proficient in.

So if you want to increase your game level in the “flow” state, up your level while in the “practice” state.

This will help:

Frame Control

Secrets Of Magnetic Charisma

Instantly Boost Personal Magnetism

Instant Personal Magnetism

I used to know this guy that was super charismatic.

Just being around this guy made you feel a hundred times better. Like anything was possible. I was always trying to figure out what it was about him.

When he spoke, it was clear that he wasn’t just spitting out a bunch of half baked ideas. His sentences were clear, they had meaning, and he said each word like it was the only word in the world.

When he looked at you, it was like you were the only person around. Even if he was talking about where he bought his hat, the conversation, his words, and the person he was talking to was of utmost importance.

But one thing he said once REALLY put everything together.

We were walking through this department store, and we passed this glass case with three male, faceless models. The back of the class case was missing, and it looked like the display was only halfway set up.

I noticed that my friend was VERY similar in appearance to the models. I mentioned that, and he said, “Let me go in there, and take my picture.”

So he went in there, stood in between them, and put on his cheesiest grin, combined with a pose that was similar to the models. The people walking by thought it was the funniest thing.

When he came out, he looked and me and said,

“Man, I REALLY like being me!”

Love Yourself And All Will Follow

Love Yourself Completely

That’s when it hit me. That’s why he always spoke, walked and acted with such subtle yet powerful energy.

It wasn’t fake confidence, or any attempt to project an image. He just really, really liked himself, and he really, really liked whatever he was doing.

As you can probably already guess, this guy made a TON of money (in his part time) and ALWAYS and a line of girls begging to be with him.

Most of us walk the Earth with some kind of feeling of lack, or feeling as though we’re wounded or we need to be recognized for our super-hero victim status. Like we’ve been wronged and we are looking “out there” in the world to make it right.

The truth is that you’ve already got everything you need. All you’ve got to do is embrace, appreciate it, and share it with others.

Enjoy yourself. Enjoy the world. And let others know.

Learn how:

Frame Control

Do You Feel Anger When Thinking of Gorgeous Girls?

Don't Be A Butt Hurt Little Boy

Release Your Anger

Many guys get really angry with women pretty easily.

They think they “deserve” something, and when they don’t get it, they throw a hissy fit.

They imagine that since they’ve done some kind of “personal improvement” work they somehow “deserve” to get the good stuff.

This is a common misconception both in seduction, AND in economics.

I remember once, a long time ago, I went down to my local barber to get my usual summer buzz cut. Only he had shut down. So I had to go find another place. I came across this “Salon” and asked how much.

She told me an incredibly huge price, and I asked her why hers was so expensive, when my usual guy only charged $5.

She told me she’d studied hair cutting in Europe (like they have different hair there or something) and she’d been to all the exclusive hair cutting schools.

I didn’t say this, but I was thinking that I really didn’t care where she’d studied, I only wanted a buzz cut, and I was only willing to pay $5. Maybe $6, but that was about it.

Many people believe they “deserve” something simply because they put in some “work.”

Nobody Gets A Free Ride

Nobody Gets A Free Ride

Guys think that because they go to the gym, wear the right clothes and cologne, they SHOULD get laid. Like society has some kind of obligation to keep Mr. Happy happy.

Well, I hate to break the news to you, but nobody owes you squat.

The ONLY time you will EVER get ANYTHING from ANYBODY is when they want to give it to you, for their own reasons.

And this usually involves THEM getting something from YOU that they VALUE.

You only GET what you are willing to GIVE.

Not what you THINK you deserve.

This is a tough pill to swallow. Not only for guys, but for anybody who has spent any amount of time doing anything (like studying, building, investing, creating) only to find out that what they’ve got STILL isn’t valued very much by others.

But here’s the GOOD NEWS.

There’s a much EASIER way to give her what she wants, so you can get what you want.

Instead of spending all kinds of time, money and effort in the gym, or the department store, or the bling store, just walk up, and talk to her.

Find out what she likes. Find out what spins her propellers.

Talk to her in a way that will get her feeling those emotions. Listen to what she says, and frame your message in a way that she’ll enjoy hearing.

Ditch the entitlement mentality, and go straigh to the source.

Learn How

Frame Control

How To Dominate Risk Every Time

Learn To Love Uncertainty

Embrace Risk For Massive Success

Humans are born optimists.

Some people claim optimism is more prevalent in some societies, and not so much in others, but I disagree.

Humans wouldn’t be here unless we had the natural ability to look out into the future and imagine a better one.

Think about it this way, unless you had the consistent tendency to assume everything would go OK, you would rarely act. You’d think about doing something, imagine some kind of horrible outcome, and then hide in the corner.

And I’m not talking about going out and conquering the world, I’m talking about regular, everyday things like going to the store or checking out a new nightclub or something.

Sure, a lot of this has to do with experience. We have a pretty good idea that we’re going to be safe walking down to the ice cream shop. But there is ALWAYS uncertainty. There is ALWAYS a chance that you’ll get lost, get mugged, or get run over by a cement truck.

But the fact that these thoughts rarely cross your mind is an indication that deep within you is a natural optimist.

If you’re not yet going after those big dreams yet, it’s not because you’re afraid you’ll fail, even though it may feel like it.

Because in addition to being natural optimists, we humans also feel a bit uncomfortable in unknown situations.

When the situation is foreign and new, we are a little bit less “on top of things,” which of course increases uncertainty.

The Truth Is Out There

Be Comfortable With Uncertainty

That’s why one of the most powerful skills you can develop is feeling comfortable (or comfortable enough) when the outcome of whatever you’re doing is far from certain.

The bottom line is that few things will turn out like we hope. There will always be unexpected events, outcomes, and setbacks.

The trick is not to eliminate risk, the trick is to feel comfortable in the face of risk. So you can just keep trying different things until you find something that works.

To look out into an uncertain world, filled with potential pitfalls AND wonderful results, and think to yourself, “Yep, I got this…”

To have an unshakeable faith in yourself to experience, learn, and achieve.

To believe that you are always exactly where you need to be, doing exactly what you should.

To build that power within you, check this out:

Frame Control

Embrace The Spotlight Of Seduction

She's Waiting For You

Why She Wants You To Approach Her

One of the most common fears when speaking to women you’re attracted to is how you’re “performing” in a social setting.

It’s common to feel as if all eyes are on you when walking up to a girl you’ve been flirting with from across the room.

Now, to be honest, a lot of guys ARE watching you, and some of them DO hope you fall on your face.

Why?

Because they are too terrified to approach themselves, so if they see you approach and succeed, it will make them feel worse. But if you approach and get blown out, it will actually make them feel better.

One thing humans are exceptionally good at is deceiving ourselves. Now, if you were brutally honest with yourself, the ONLY reason you don’t become an approach machine when you’re out where there’s plenty of single, attractive women is because of fear or anxiety.

This is something most guys will NEVER admit, even to themselves. We tell ourselves things like, “Well, I’m not in the mood,” or “she’s not my type,” or “I’m not in a place where I’m ready for a relationship,” or any self con job.

How do I know these are self deceptions?

Because if ANY of those women walked up to you, talked to you for five minutes, and then asked you to go home with her for wild, uninhibited sex, all of those “reasons” would vanish.

You wouldn’t tell her she’s not your type.

You wouldn’t tell her you’re not ready for a relationship.

You wouldn’t tell her you were just hanging out with the boys.

Make A Move!

Make A Move!

So when you walk over there and fall on your face, all those other guys who are too terrified to make a move will be able to feed their excuses.

“See, that’s why I NEVER approach girls, they LOVE shooting guys down!”

This, of course, is absolute nonsense.

I’m sure you’ve heard the crab theory. Where a bunch of crabs are in a bucket, and one crab starts to climb out, and all other crabs drag him back down.

It’s kind of like that.

What’s the answer?

Consider things from HER perspective. If you simply get up and walk over there, you’re sending her a strong signal.

That you aren’t scared like those other little boys. That you’re willing to take a risk, instead of waiting around for a girl to do all the work.

Just doing this will INCREASE your attraction.

A lot.

And when you carry yourself with a strong frame, one she’ll LOVE to melt into, you’ll be even better.

Learn More:

Frame Control

Are You Imprisoned By Social Fear?

Stop Acting Like A Caveman

Ditch The Caveman Thinking

One of our deepest fears is social exclusion.

Getting kicked out of the group feels horrible on a deep level.

In our past, we only had our local group. To get kicked out meant certain death.

But today, we have the luxury of choosing who we hang out with. We can choose who we work for, what clubs we join, etc.

But since our instincts are still living in the stone age, where they were developed, it doesn’t always feel this way.

It’s similar to trying to diet, when you’ve got a fridge filled with goodies. You can consciously try all you want to avoid putting another frozen burrito in the microwave, but when your caveman decides to eat, you’re going to eat.

You’ll tell yourself common lies like, “It’s just this once,” or, “Well, I REALLY get started tomorrow,” or, “Well, as long as I’ve got these burritos, I may as well eat them.”

The truth is our inner caveman is a highly skilled con artist that would make P.T. Barnum green with envy.

Whenever we’re in a group, it can feel incredibly difficult to speak up, or go against the flow, or hold fast to your ideas when people are looking at you as if you’ve gone nuts.

It can feel comfortable to sit around and wait for something to happen. Something safe, something that won’t rock the boat. Something that won’t require you to go out on a limb and risk social exposure.

Step Up And Lead!

Be What Everybody Is Waiting For

But if we’re being honest with ourselves, sitting around and waiting for something to happen isn’t the greatest strategy. Especially when everybody else has that same strategy.

But when you step up and go against the flow, and take a leadership position, something very interesting will happen.

When I was in junior high school I made an interesting discovery. Me and a buddy were sitting in a class, waiting for the bell to ring. We started talking like kids do, how everybody is an obedient sheep, etc.

We decided to “rebel” and stand up BEFORE the bell rang. But as soon as we did, so did everybody else.

The wonderful truth is that YOU can BECOME that “thing” that everybody is waiting to happen.

When you throw caution to the wind, stand up and assert your ideas, people will follow. Maybe not right away, but you’d be surprised how little effort it takes. They may be a bit timid at first, and give you a bit of resistance. Once you overcome that, what happens next is pretty amazing.

The truth is that most of us are terrified to lead. Terrified to make decisions. Terrified to make a mistake in front of everybody.

Which is why when YOU decide to be the leader, the rewards will be enormous.

Learn How:

Frame Control

Secrets Of Massive Social Influence

The Missing Ingredient For Effortless Persuasion

Rapport Is Crucial

Most people would love to have some magic skills of persuasion, seduction, sales.

To be able to walk up to some girl, spit out some magic words, and have her look you with those gorgeous submissive that says your wish is her command.

Or maybe you dream of making a killing in sales. Using some wicked nested loops and convincing your client that closing the deal with you is as natural as sleeping late on Saturday morning.

But here’s something to consider.

Most of the time, before you even open your mouth, the tone has been set. And if you haven’t enough rapport, or the RIGHT rapport, words can’t do much.

In fact, if you NEVER learned any sales techniques, seduction techniques, language techniques, and you ONLY spent time developing deep and powerful rapport, you’d get more girls than any natural, and you’d close more sales that any seasoned professional.

Don’t believe me?

Consider your best friend. Right now. Imagine you are out shopping for something, and you were REALLY only window shopping.

You had no plans to buy anything. You just heard from a friend of a friend that this “thing” is pretty cool, and you happened to be driving by a store that sold this “thing” so you figured you’d pop in and take a look.

So there you are, taking a look at this “thing.” Sure it looks good. Sure you can understand why some people would salivate over it. Sure you may even buy it in the future. 

But now? You’ve got other things on your mind. Maybe you’ll file it away in your brain for later.

Then your best friend pops out of nowhere. Your closest, help-you-bury-the-bodies friend.

How To Create A Deep Connection

Deep Levels Of Connection

“Dude! This thing is AWESOME! I got mine yesterday! Get this one and I’ll show you how to use it!”

Would this cause you to buy it?

Now, consider some creepy salesman that smells like he sleeps in a vomit filled ashtray. He walks up and says the exact same thing, in the exact same way.

Would this cause you to buy it?

This is the HUGE difference that rapport makes.

Now consider your best friend again, saying “Dude! Buy This Now!”

And compare that to vomit cigarette man using all kinds of language patterns.

Who would be more persuasive?

Again, this is the power of rapport.

If you’ve got HUGE rapport with a lady, you won’t need much else. You could talk about last night’s hockey game, and she’d be all over you.

How do you create rapport?

Here’s How:

Frame Control

How To Generate Meta Social Confidence

See The Big Picture

How To Get The Big Picture

Sometimes we feel pretty good about ourselves, other times we don’t.

While everybody’s different, we all have common areas where we’re most likely to feel “in the zone” or “in our element.”

For most of us, that’s whenever we’re doing something familiar, something that we’ve done well in the past.

If you’ve been playing the piano and doing recitals since you were in grade school, for example, playing a medium difficult piece in front of strangers is probably no big deal.

Other people would be terrified of sitting down at the piano in a hotel lobby and playing “chopsticks.”

Once I was watching this TV show with an old roommate of mine. It was this guy trying to break some record with the Rubik’s Cube.

My roommate told me he could NEVER perform like that in front of people, even if it was something he did very well.

He said all that attention and focus on him would make it impossible for him to perform.

This is also pretty common. Something you’re good at, but you’ve never really done it in front of others.

This can be anything from cooking to typing to balancing a broom on your nose. Most of us feel a lot more pressure, and a lot less confident, when we’re the center of social attention.

Direct Correlation?

Content Stays With Content

Even the guy in the example above who’s comfortable playing the piano in front of others might not feel so comfortable giving a speech or riding a unicycle while juggling in front of others, or even walking up to and talking to strangers.

There’s something about being at the center of social attention that makes most of us shake in our boots.

There are basically two ways of getting over this fear. One is content based, one is structurally based.

The content way is like the guy with the piano. Just practice whatever skill you want to practice, and get plenty of practice doing it in front of others.

You can do this with pretty much any skill. If you can find a way to practice that skill in front of others, you’ll do pretty good.

Except it generally won’t translate into other skills that need to be done in front of others.

Playing the piano in front of others won’t help you become a better speaker.

Unless you attack this from a structural level. 

Instead of simply focusing on any particular skill, just focus on feeling a general sense of confidence in any social group, especially unknown social groups.

This is the great thing about our brains. It’s very good at generalizing. Once you learn to tie on pair of shoes, you can tie all the shoes on Earth.

So when you learn to simply be confident in social situations, anything you choose to do socially (create relationships, make sales, juggle on a unicycle) will seem easy and familiar.

To learn how, check this out:

Frame Control