Monthly Archives: May 2015

Practice Instead Of Study

Leverage Your Human Learning Power

Trial And Feedback

Many guys study pickup and seduction like they study other kinds of subjects in school.

Write stuff down, practice and home in front of a mirror. Pay thousands of dollars to attend seminars and role play in a safe environment where everybody behaves “correctly.”

But the thing about humans is that we are natural learners. Other animals have various specialities. Cheetahs can run fast. Zebras can blend together and look like one huge crazy animal.

Tigers have super sharp teeth and super sharp claws and can pretty much digest anything.

Monkeys can hang from tree branches with their tails.

Humans, however, can learn. We are THE MOST adaptable animal. We are born so UN-fully formed, that we live a large percentage of our lives in “learning mode.” And it really never shuts off.

Before even 5% of any population ever HEARD of school, or “traditional learning” people were inventing airplanes, telescopes, steam engines.

They didn’t go to seminars. They didn’t learn that from books.

They tried, and measure what happened afterwards. Then they tried again.

Now, this may take some conscious thought if you are trying to invent something like an airplane or a telescope.

But if it has ANYTHING to do with human interaction and communication, you don’t need to be taught. You don’t need any special methods or techniques or patterns.

You just need courage. The courage to practice, and get feedback. Now, some people will call this failure.

And sure, if the Earth is about to explode an hour from now, and you really need to get laid before everybody dies, then yea, not getting her number may be considered a failure.

But otherwise, it’s just one more piece of data in a LONG lifetime of endless learning.

The ONLY thing you really need to do to get better with women is practice. Forget about the outcome. Just enjoy  the process.

Start talking to anybody and everywhere, wherever you go. Be friendly. Be outgoing. Talk to old ladies. Talk to your waiter. Talk to the guy or the girl working at the coffee shop. Don’t game anybody or sell any MLMs or try and do anything sneaky.

Just talk to people and enjoy people. The more you do this, the easier it will get.

Pretty soon, talking to cute girls won’t be so difficult. Then you’ll make a startling realization. After talking to them for a couple of minutes, you’ll find you start to lose interest with a LOT of cute girls.

Simply because you’re not so desperate anymore, you start to notice their personalities. Some will match yours, but a lot won’t. That’s fine. That’s normal. That’s good. That’s healthy.

Then you’ll find the REAL FUN. Talking to girls not to impress them, or to game them, or to trick them into sleeping with you.

But to find the right one.

Get Started:

Girlfriend Generator

Are You Running From Pain?

How To Change Your Filters

How To Flip Your Internal Script

There’s a theory in NLP called “meta programs.”

It basically describes a collection of filters that we carry around with us, to make it easier, quicker and less tiresome on our poor brains to make sense of the world.

Scientists have known for a while that our brains take many shortcuts in thinking to save on energy.

Most people are surprised to find out that up to 25% of the calories you burn in any single day are from your brain.

Which is why you feel so tired after studying or thinking or worrying. 

So long ago, Mother Nature decided that shortcuts in thinking would be a good thing, all else considered.

Which is the theory behind these “meta programs.”

They’re not quite set in stone, meaning you can change them, but they do take a while to change on their own.

One of the most well know is whether a person is motivated by pain, or pleasure.

If you’re motivated by pain, then you only get motivated when there’s a clear and present danger. If the danger goes away, so does the motivation.

This is what leads plenty of us to look in the mirror, get disgusted with our bodies, and then vow to change our physical shape. Only when the pain of looking at our flabby belly passes by, we lose the motivation.

Same goes with making money. When you’re close to the end of you’re rope, you’ll do anything for a buck.

But once you’ve got enough to pay the rent, the bills, and a little extra in the bank, that motivation fades.

On other hand, you could be motivated by pleasure, rather than pain. Meaning if you’ve got a goal, and the closer you get to it, the more motivation you feel.

I’m sure you won’t be surprised to find that most people are motivated by pain, and not pleasure.

This is why almost all advertisements rely on building up pain, then promising to take it away, so long as you buy the product.

Then as soon as you buy the product, the pain is gone. Until you see another advertisement. Then the whole process repeats itself.

I don’t know about you, but making pain avoidance your main strategy doesn’t seem like a great way to live life.

If you are totally successful, all you’ll do is avoid pain. If you’re in pain, getting rid of it IS the most important thing.

But once the pain goes away, there’s not much else.

Like I said, this can be changed. It takes time, and effort, but it is worth it.

Instead of running away from things, you can train your mind-body system to run toward things. Things you want. Things that inspire you. Things that empower you.

Your higher self.

You may say that becoming a fully enlightened human is learning to stop focusing on what you’re moving away from, and start focusing on where you’re going.

This will help:

Kundalini Activator

How To Develop Natural, Automatic Game

Practice Makes Perfect

Practice Makes Perfect

If you think back to your best nights with people in general, or girls in particular, you will likely come to a startling (or maybe not so startling) conclusion.

None of those nights or days happened because you were running some ultra tight game, where you were viewing your conversations with others like some high level chess game. You weren’t planning your statements and words with a thought of what they’d say next, and what you might say after that, and ten or twenty minutes into the future.

Instead, you were likely very much in the moment. She said something, and you automatically said something back. You didn’t think about it, or choose your words, or even knew how you were going to finish a sentence when you started it.

You were in that mystical magical energy flow that is so rare but so awesome. You say something, she says something you say something, and it just flows back and forth.

Imagine if you tried to play tennis like some guys try and “spit game.” You had some set of moves memorized out, but they only worked if your opponent hit the ball a certain way.

You wouldn’t last long.

Sure, you should practice your backhand, your serve, your forehand, short game, back game (or whatever they call it). All individually, all seriously.

But when you’re playing a game, you just show up and play. Let your instincts do the work. Let your stamina do the work.

And guess what? The more you play, the better you’d get. The more you’d practice, the better you’d get.

But for some reason, guys don’t think of social skills like this. They seem to think you need to follow some set of rules or steps or something.

But in reality, it’s pretty simple. Just keep talking to people. The more people you talk to, the better you’ll get. The more people you talk to, the more experience you’ll get, which means you’ll have more stuff to talk about.

If you want to drill certain aspects of “game,” like you would in tennis, you can do that as well.

Just practice eye contact one day. Nothing else. Practice saying hello. Do nothing else until  you say hello to 100 girls. Then practice introducing yourself. Do nothing else. Keep this up until you introduce yourself to 100 girls.

Sure, it may take a while. But if you drill yourself like this, and at the same time, having relaxing, normal, conversations with people whenever and wherever you see them, you will develop some VERY powerful, VERY attractive, and VERY natural game.

The kind you don’t even need to think about. And that wonderful flow will happen again and again and again.

Get Started:

Girlfriend Generator

Listen To Your Friend

Your Unlimited Source of Energy

Your Secret Source Of Energy

Scientists believe we humans have a secret source of energy we almost never know about.

If you’ve ever been in a “do-or-die” situation, then you’ve experienced this.

Maybe you’re completely spent emotionally, physically, even spiritually.

But then you see something or experience something that allows you to get a burst of energy.

It’s like we’re jamming along in “normal” mode, and we have a certain amount of life-juice at our disposal.

But then with the situation changes, we shift into overdrive. Kind of like when Mad Max would switch on the Nitrous Oxide on his Interceptor, giving his car a sudden boost of enormous power.

I’ve you’ve never experienced this, I’m sure you’ve heard about it. Mothers lifting cars off their kids. People suddenly getting enormous bursts of fear killing power and rushing into burning buildings.

This comes out in other ways as well. If you’ve ever been highly intoxicated, yet somehow made it home, got undressed and into bed without issue. It’s like we’ve always got a “watcher” that’s making sure we’re OK.

A lot of folks have trouble with this. They like to believe that our conscious minds are all we have. If we don’t understand something, or if we can’t control it, it doesn’t exist.

But you know the reality of our mind-body system is much, much deeper and much more profound than we can understand consciously.

If you’ve ever known the phone was going to ring, or somebody was about to knock on your door, you have experienced this.

That “other” part of you that is much more than anybody will ever know.

Sadly, most people refuse to acknowledge this. Maybe they are afraid, maybe it threatens their imaginary control over their lives, who knows.

But in the deep silence of your mind, you can connect with your “friend.”

And you’ll find that this “friend” is much more than you will ever realize.

He or she is only a thought away. A connection of deep and lasting resonance. To help you, to guide you, to support you.

Are you ready to listen?

The Danger Of Seduction Gurus

Which Is More Important, Teacher Or Student?

Trial And Error Might Be Better

There’s a common idea in the realm of meeting and dating girls of following some kind of guru. Now, gurus certainly have their time and place. Certainly, if you were learning something that only a few people in the world knew how to do, then you would do well to learn from an expert in the field.

But even then, there’s a danger. See, there’re people who are really good at doing things. Then there are people who are really good at teaching things. Then there are people who are really good at learning things.

Now, if you were to learn from some guru, and learn well, you’d have to have a guy that could do what you wanted to learn, teach what you wanted to learn AND, most importantly, YOU’D be somebody who was willing or able to LEARN what you wanted to learn.

All three of these are rarely present. Which is the most important?

Well, consider each one on it’s own. Take a guy who was a GREAT teacher, who couldn’t do what he was teaching, trying to teach to a roomful of goofs who refused to learn. Nope.

How about a guy who was GREAT at doing, but horrible at teaching, and also teaching to a room full of lazy goofs. Nope again.

Now how about a roomful (or even one guy) who REALLY wanted to learn, but his teacher was an idiot who not only couldn’t do what he was teaching, but couldn’t teach his way out of a paper bag.

Now, if he were teaching some kind of specialized thing like building a computer from scratch, there’s be trouble. But even then, a REALLY motivated student could forget the class, look stuff up online, or buy a bunch of books form Amazon, and probably do pretty well.

In fact, some of the smartest guys on Earth are self-taught, largely because nobody’s smart enough to teach them.

Now, take some like seduction, or dating, or pickup. These are largely based on general social skills, which are hard wired into EVERYBODY.

So not only do you NOT NEED a guru, having one will hold you back. In fact most people spend tons of money and time with gurus precisely BECAUSE they don’t really want to do what needs to be done.

Which is to simply get out there, and practice.

Practice talking to people. All people. Anywhere. Everywhere.

The more people you talk to, the easier it will be, and the more fun it will be.

So when you DO see a girl that’s interesting, you won’t suddenly need to summon super human levels of courage and ninja levels of approach techniques.

You’ll just walk over and talk to her.

Get Started:

Girlfriend Generator

Do You Follow Holy Men?

Beware Of False Prophets

The Kingdom Of Heaven Is Within

A long time ago, there was a great rift in the Catholic church.

Up until then the “structure” was kind of like this. There was God and the heavens. Then there were the special holy men who were trained to interpret the heavenly messages.

Then there were the regular, everyday people. They had to do what these chosen holy men said, since they were the only ones who could understand the word of God.

Then they had a great upheaval. Many ex-holy men decided that these holy men were really con artists. Maybe they didn’t start out this way, but they certainly abused their power.

For example, they would sell people tickets into heaven. The way it worked was you had some sins, you confessed them to these holy men, and they handed out your punishments. Of course, they saw this as an opportunity to make some cash on the side, and they did.

After a while, enough of these ex-holy men were so disgusted, they started their own churches.

“The Word of God is available to everybody!” They said. No longer would people have to listen to an “interpretation” of some holy man who had gone through some special training.

And the world hasn’t been the same ever since.

Just think, the idea that a normal guy or girl, meditating on the scriptures (or any other ancient texts) could actually discern valuable teachings!

Of course, this “structure” still exists today, in many forms. Some self proclaimed “holy man” claims he or she knows the secrets, and only he or she knows how to interpret them. 

Even things that are worlds apart from religion falls under this category.

Medicine, science, philosophy, art, entertainment.

It seems that humans are hard wired to fall into the “authority trap.” Unless the wise words come from somebody with recognized authority, we don’t recognize them as valid.

This can help, saving us a lot of time.

But it can also hurt. We may find that after years of following a “holy man” we find he or she’s been a scam the entire time.

Not to mention how easy it is to abuse such power. History is filled with men and women (mostly men) who had the power of authority only to lead people to horrible ends.

Ultimately, it’s up to you. To be sure, a truly wise and honest “holy man” is a wonderful thing to find.

But in the end, only you know what’s right. Only you are responsible for your own life, your own truth, and your own path.

It’s easy to let somebody else choose for you.

Few can choose their own path. Few can listen to their own truth.

Can you?

The Third Path To Finding Your Dream Girl

Three Paths To Your Success

The Natural Way Is Easiest

There are three basic choices if you want to go from where you are now, to where you want to be with regards to women and relationships.

Choice number one is what most guys do. Which is nothing. Sure, they spend a lot of time online in forums, mostly complaining about women. Sometimes they’ll give each other advice (safely from their keyboard) about what they should have done or shouldn’t have done.

While it can feel like you’re making progress if you learn about human relationships through reading various blogs on the Internet (ahem…), it will only get you so far. It may even impede your progress, as you think you may be “learning” but in reality, you’re just learning new excuses to keep you out of the game.

Choice number two is what a few guys do. They make a decision to do something about it. Maybe they figure enough is enough, or maybe they had their hearts broken so badly they decide that will never happen again. So they buy courses and attend seminars. They study language patterns and techniques. How to approach, what to say, what to wear. They use all kinds of sales terminology as if they are insurance salesmen going door to door.

And guess what? If they keep at it, they will be very successful. That’s pretty much guaranteed with all skills. If you take the time to learn, and take the time to practice, you WILL improve. This is an absolute certainty.

However, talking to and dating girls is pretty much part of our DNA. Sure, if you wanted to study and master something totally “unnatural,” something that humans AREN’T hard wired to do (like juggling or bowling or playing the piano or whatever), then studying and practicing skills is the way to go.

But in reality, talking to girls and meeting enough of them to find your dream girl is not really unnatural. It’s not something that was invented in recent human history.

The concept of humans mingling with other humans to make more humans has been around for millions and millions of years, since WAY before we were even humans.

Which brings us to choice number three.

Forget the internet posturing. Forget learning specialized skills and patterns and techniques. Just get out there and be social. Talk to people and find out something interesting about them.

Sure, for many people it’s pretty scary at first. But they ALL quickly realize the same thing. People LIKE talking to other people. So long as you’re not pushing MLM or don’t have horrible garlic breath, people will ENJOY IT when you start up a conversation.

If you make it a habit of talking to people wherever you go, just to enjoy it, some of those “people” will be cute girls. And guess what? Some of the cute girls will turn into your dream girl!

Get Started:

Girlfriend Generator

Do You Deserve What You Want?

Let Loose Your Power Of Creation

Creation Is Easier Than Receiving

One of our worst fears is rejection.

This is at the root of many of our other fears. We want something, but we feel if we express our desires, we’ll get shot down. From the tiniest things like asking for the salt to asking a cute person for their phone number, it feels as though we’re on center stage when we’re warming up to pop the question.

However, like many other elements of our personality and communication, there’s a lot of stuff going on.

One thing that people will respond to is our interpretation of ourselves. Little kids have no fear, no shame, no worries. They just blurt out whatever they want. Sometimes they get it, sometimes they don’t.

But you’d have to be an ogre living under a bridge to NOT think this is the prime reason kids are so cute.

Now, if this happens to be your kid announcing to the world what they want at any given time, it can be pretty embarrassing. But to everybody else, it’s pretty cute.

One important distinction to be aware of when discussing adult communication is the difference between structure and content.

The content is that specific thing we are asking for. The salt, the phone number, the raise, etc.

The structure is HOW we are asking for it. And a primary driver of the structure we wrap around our content is our interpretation of the content, and our “deservingness” to receive it.

If we are asking for something we don’t think we deserve (for logical or completely illogical reasons) that will come across in how we ask. So when we DO get shut down, it’s not because there’s anything wrong with the content (that which we are asking for) but our own interpretation.

If we don’t think we deserve it, why should anybody else? Especially if they’re being asked to put time and even money into us getting it?

Now we can also fool ourselves just as easily. We can overcompensate, and “pretend” that we REALLY deserve, and ask for it with all kinds of fake enthusiasm. But then we sound like some sleazy salesperson trying to be our friend.

How can we believe we deserve it (whatever IT is) without sounding like we just came from a super charged guru seminar?

Remember who you are.

Remember why you are here, and what you are creating. You weren’t put here to be “given” stuff, like a kid who cleaned his room on time.

You were put here to create things. And on the other side of everything you’d like, you have something equally as valuable to give.

That part of yourself that is pure energy. Pure spirit. Pure wisdom.

Get in touch with THAT part of you, and you’ll never feel fear again.

How Should You Look For Your Dream Girl?

Become Socially Outgoing and The Girls Will Follow

Primary Focus Or Side Effect?

Some of the best things come as a side effect, not the main benefit.

But if you focus on them as the main idea, you’ll mess everything up.

Take going out to eat or have a couple drinks with your buddies. The main idea is to get something to eat. So you talk about what kind of food you want, or what kind of bar has the best atmosphere.

This is the focus of that particular excursion. But the main side effect to eating some decent food with your buddies is just hanging out and sharing that experience. But if you were to tell your buddies you wanted to get together to share some fun times, they’d look at you funny.

This is the kind of thing you always know is there, but you never really talk about. Because if you did it would sound kind of lame. Really lame.

Meeting girls is the same way. Most of the time it happens, it happens as a side effect to doing something else. You’re at a friends wedding, you’re in some study group at school, your meeting a bunch of friends for a concert, or you go to a friend of a friend’s going away party.

All of these have a potential side effect of meeting a special lady for a special relationship.

But that’s not the main reason why you do those things.

Nevertheless, many guys go to places SPECIFICALLY to meet girls. They go to clubs and bars specifically to sarge, to use memorized lines and routines to get numbers.

Make no mistake, this will get you some numbers of some girls who are interested in you.

And if you are interested in as many short term flings as you can possibly fit into your life, this is the best method there is.

But if you want to create a good, honest, relationship. This might not be the best angle.

Instead, just do what you want. Go places where there are people. Get in the habit of talking to people, just because you’ll find them interesting.

If you do this, you’ll be much more likely to be an interesting, outgoing, charismatic person when you meet your dream girl.

Another way to think about this is imagine yourself ten or twenty years from now, after you’ve been with your dream girl all this time.

Somebody asks you how you met, what would you like to say?

“We met through friends at this guys work party.”

Or

“I sarged her when she was in a 3 set. I opened her friend with the potato chip pattern.”

Ultimately, it’s up to you.

What do you want?

How To Generate Charisma

Generate Massive Charisma

Enjoy Life And Others Will Enjoy You

Being charismatic is a powerful skill to have.

One thing about us humans is we are generally fixated on content, when it’s the structure that drives out emotions.

Take a pretty good stand up comic. He or she will tell some pretty common stories. Ones that, on their own may  not seem like much on paper.

But how they deliver them is what makes the difference.

Not only do they use incredible gestures and “out of the box” facial expressions, but they take those normal stories, and break them up so we can’t help but focus our attention on them.

For comparisons sake, take a regular person. They start talking to one or two people at a party. For some reason, they really get into their story. A cool feedback loop is created between speaker and listener.

Before long, a crowd grows. But then something happens. The person suddenly gets nervous. Instead of telling their story to close friends, now they’re the center of attention, and it may feel a bit strange.

What if you could feel outgoing, energetic and charismatic around not only your friends, but strangers as well?

What if you didn’t have to wait around for moments like that to “just happen”?

The truth is that you can. But it takes some practice.

The thing about people who are naturally charismatic is that they appreciate life. Not just the awesome parts, but the normal, everyday parts.

Remember, it’s really not the content (WHAT we are talking about) that people like about us. It’s the structure, it’s HOW we are talking about it.

Now, some people go overboard, and lay on some really fake charisma. This is easy to spot a mile away.

This what cheesy salespeople do when you talk about stuff you KNOW they don’t care about, but pretend to.

What I’m talking about is real, honest to goodness appreciation.

How do you practice this?

Just take a few moments every day, and take a few minutes off. Close your eyes, slowly breathe in and out, and feel the force of life pulsing through you.

Feel and appreciate that deep presence of energy that has been there since the dawn of time, and will be there long, long into the future.

Slowly feel this energy resonate through you, and generate genuine appreciation for this energy.

The energy of you. The energy that allows you to experience the world, be in the world, and change the world every time you interact with it.

Practice feeling that appreciation, and that appreciation will grow.

Learn More:

Kundalini Activator