Monthly Archives: December 2015

Create Subconscious Magic

Delayed Gratification

Save For A Rainy Day

​Many disciplines have things called “best practices.” 

Meaning they are things you do that aren’t always important in and of themselves, at least in the moment.

But they are VERY important in the long run.

For example, coders see writing plenty of comments within their code as a “best practice.”

Not that it makes the program run any better, it just makes it MUCH easier later on, if they need to go back and tweak anything.

If you are a gun enthusiast, a “best practice” would be to always clear your weapon (make sure there’re no bullets) before handling it or showing it to others. Even if you consciously remember that there’re no bullets, it’s still a VERY good idea, because otherwise you might forget and kill somebody.

Most “best practices” are closely related to certain disciplines.

But there are also “best practices” when building a successful life.

Delayed gratification is one of these. A very important one.

Think of the NOW you and the FUTURE you.

If you enjoy all your pleasure NOW, you won’t have anything in the future. That’s fine if you’re pretty confident that you’ll ALWAYS find something good.

But that’s a pretty risky assumption.

The idea of “saving something for the future” is built into our DNA. Otherwise our bodies wouldn’t be so adept at taking consumed energy and storing it for future use.

A more “modern” version of this would be to save money. Plenty of books speak about creating several different savings accounts. One for bills. One for fun. One for education. One for any future unknowns.

Many people are put off by this. “I can barely pay the rent! How the heck am I supposed to create a savings account for vacation! I can’t even afford a bus ticket!”

Here’s the thing. Even if you ONLY save a nickel a month, in each of the above categories, it will send a very POWERFUL message to your subconscious.

That you are taking your future SERIOUSLY. That you are taking your dreams SERIOUSLY. That you’re not just rattling off a bunch of wishes, and waiting for the magic fairy to come and give you free stuff.

Once your subconscious realizes you’re SERIOUS, your mind will shift. You’ll see opportunities you never even noticed before. You’ll think in ways you never thought of before. New ideas for making money, getting in shape, finding a relationship, etc., will start popping into your brain.

Like magic!

Only it won’t be magic, it will only seem like it.

Take action, and trust your subconscious.

These Will Help:

What Is Your Ideal Skill?

Do You Have What It Takes?

The Power of Focus

​There’re lots of hobbies you can have.

And a lot of reasons for having them.

Some people have hobbies to help them relieve stress.

Other people have hobbies to have fun.

Some hobbies are exciting, in the moment, and don’t require any kind of goal, other than a short term one. Something like cycling, or playing competitive sports. Other than physical fitness, most hobbyists of this sort don’t have a specific long range goal.

On the other hand, some hobbies are much less “in the moment,” and have a very specific long range goal. Putting together jigsaw puzzles, knitting, painting, model building. One particularly interesting hobby is building those ships inside of bottles.

You’ve got to spend quite a bit of time on very controlled, very precise movements. At the same time, you have a VERY specific outcome in mind. One that you focus on for months at a time.

There’s a story of this town in ancient China that was about to come under attack. So they hired this martial arts trainer, and he was supposed to get them ready.

He said he needed to find somebody to become the town “fighter,” who’d take his place after he left.

He chose the guy who served him tea in the local restaurant. When asked why, he said that guy had the most focus. When he poured the tea, he could tell there was NOTHING ELSE on the guy’s mind.

This, he said, it’s what’s required to be a martial artist capable of defending the town.

That’s kind of the same focus those ship-in-a-bottle builders have.

And it’s the kind of focus you need to develop if you are going to create something magnificent in your life.

Almost everybody dreams of greatness. Few take the day to day actions required to get there.

But consider this:

Experts say that if you practiced something for a certain amount of time, you’ll be the best in the world.

How much time? Well that really depends on what you’re doing, where you’re starting, and how “great” you’d like to become.

Take something simple like playing the piano, or the keyboard. How good would you be if you only spent 30 minutes a day for the next three or four years?

How about the next ten years?

The idea is to take something you enjoy doing, that can also make you some money, in some capacity.

And the better you get at it, the more opportunities you’ll start seeing.

So, what would you like to master in your life?

What skill? What talent? What ability?

Get Started:

How To Collect Yourself

Who Are You?

Who Are You?

​One of the trance inducing parts about NLP and hypnosis is the difference between structure and content.

Almost everybody is always focused on content, the stuff that we talk about, but it’s really the structure that drives everything.

This is why Covert Hypnosis is so powerful. You speak by focusing on the structure, leaving the content purposely vague. The listener then has to fill in the blanks with their own ideas. This makes all the conclusions they come to their own.

We humans are by and large driven by structure. Social proof, authority, scarcity, these are all structural level elements that can be applied to pretty much any content, making that content seem so much more desirable.

Being able to understand the difference can help you save a lot of money, and a lot of grief.

One of the biggest “structures” is the idea of YOU.

Think of the structural you, vs. the content you.

The content you is all the atoms molecules, muscles, cells, neural connections, etc., in your body.

These are ALWAYS being replaced. Every time you eat, breathe, drink, and process waste.

One philosopher said that humans are “energy pumps.” We use energy. We are made of energy. And our long tube down the center of us is ALWAYS processing energy.

So where in all of that is YOU?

When you read these words, and contemplate that awareness you call “yourself,” who is that?

What happens to that self-aware entity five years from now after pretty much all the individual “bits” have been replaced?

This is what happens when you shift from “content awareness” to “structure awareness,” it can get pretty interesting.

But it’s also a great way to reduce stress, relieve anxiety, and find your “center” to which you can always return to.

The more you practice, the easier it gets.

For example, you could be in the middle of giving a speech in front of super important people, pause, and return to center for only a moment, to collect “yourself” and return. Nobody will know except for you.

Inside that brain of yours is all kinds of beliefs, positive and negative about who “you” really are, and what “you” are capable of.

These beliefs can act like filters, between the inner “you” and the “you” you present to the world.

If you were a photographer, the more filters you had, the more pictures you could take in more environments.

One of the most effective “beliefs” to have is that you can switch you “beliefs” out whenever you want, based on the situation.

Learn More:

Unwrap Your Gifts

Release Dependency To Maximize Your Gifts

Release Dependency

​When I was a kid I loved Christmas. All those presents.

Christmas morning was like no other. About an hour getting present after present, and tearing the wrapping paper of just to see what was inside.

It was a combination of a couple of powerful persuasive effects. One is getting something for free. Everybody loves free stuff. Especially if it’s been specifically chosen for you. Sure, it’s great if you go down to the store and they’re giving away free beer. But they’re giving it to everybody!

When somebody spends time thinking, buying and wrapping a present just for YOU, it feels very special.

Combine that with the universal power of curiosity, and you’ve got a winning combo. That gift sitting under the tree for a couple days, you wondering what it is. And on top of THAT, you’ve got all the flashy colors of the wrapping paper.

On top of THAT, you’ve got a pile of these gifts, all for YOU!

So naturally, when it comes time to tear through them, it’s a hard feeling to match.

But then, a couple days later, something strange happens. Let down. Vacation starts winding down. Have to go back to school.

On that one hand, the idea of having ONE DAY out of the year is a good thing to look forward to.

But it’s also a horrible trap. It can trap us into thinking that the ONLY TIME when we can feel really good is if OTHER PEOPLE put in the effort. If EVERYBODY agrees on the same basic behavior on the same basic day.

AND we’re dependent on the economic health of the economy, and our parents. Two things completely out of our control.

Hopefully, as we grow older, we realize that more and more, it’s up to US to get the good stuff.

If we sit around waiting for somebody to simply GIVE it to us, we may be waiting a while.

But there’s also a kind of magic we can experience as an adult, that is impossible with the mind of a child.

And that is the feeling of CREATING something. Not just passively receiving something.

Coming up with an idea, focusing on that idea, combining that idea with our actions, and INTERactions with other people, and one day, POOF!

That idea has become real. Something now EXISTS that didn’t exist before.

Before, when we were kids, it existed before it was given to us. It was just moved from one place to another.

But when you’re an adult, you get to CREATE things that DIDN’T exist before.

Which is EXACTLY where EVERYTHING comes from.

People’s imaginations, people’s actions, and people’s interactions.

What will you create?

Get Started:

Embrace Your Fears

Don't Run Away

Don’t Run Away

​Fear is an often misunderstood feeling, or emotion.

One the one hand, it’s useful for survival purposes, as it keeps us safe.

Way back in the old caveman days, either fighting or flighting was both part of the same strategy, to not get killed or eaten.

One compels to avoid, one compels us to engage. If we are going to avoid, we have a sudden burst of energy to run away. If we choose to engage, we have a burst of energy to overcome whatever obstacle is in front of us.

A great modern day metaphor is public speaking. Or more generally speaking while being at the center of public attention.

If you’re out with your buddies or something, and suddenly everybody’s staring at you for some reason, you may choose the “flight” option. You wouldn’t actually run away, but you’d remove yourself from the center of attention any way you could. Make a quick joke, find somebody else to shift the attention to, etc.

On the other hand, you could choose to engage. Not start throwing punches, but accept the situation, and use your sudden burst of energy to make the best of it. Make your voice louder and more confident. Feel the energy rush through you and consciously channel it to something powerful and magnetic.

Now, this is NOT the way most people think about “fear.” They think it’s to be avoided at ALL COSTS. They spend their whole lives purposely getting into situations just so they can AVOID anything fearful or anxiety causing.

But like all of our other instincts that helped us survive in the past, this is something we need to deal with today.

Take hunger, for example. In the past, we ate as much as we could whenever we could. But if we tried that now, we wouldn’t be able to fit out of our front doors. So most of us have to “manage” our hunger. We are careful when we shop. We avoid certain foods, knowing they are bad for us.

But we also know that certain foods are good for us. And that eating is one of life’s great pleasures. Sharing a special meal with a special someone is a wonderful experience that many of us repeat as often as we can.

Fear, or that sudden pulse of energy can be the same way. Managed the same way. Used the same way. Enjoyed the same way.

Accept it. Embrace it. Use it as the tool it was meant to be.

Just don’t avoid it.

Learn More:

Making Sense of Life’s Variables

Get In The Game

Get In The Game

​In mathematics there’s an idea of a “local maximum.”

If you’ve got this crazy one dimensional curve that goes all over the place, a “local maximum” is the high point of the curve between to numbers. Since many math functions theoretically hold for ALL numbers, you’ve got first define the range (say between 8 and 12) and then find the maximum between those points.

The more variables you introduce, the more difficult it becomes. Even in two dimensions, the “local maximum” becomes hard to “see.”

Imagine a bunch of low hills over a huge area.  You might choose one or two square miles, and have to find the highest point. It’s kind of hard to do this by eye-balling, so you’d have to use some equipment, climb a bunch of different peaks and measure to find out.

Of course, mountains are just  metaphors for variables. If you’ve got an equation with TONS of variables, it’s really impossible to fit that to any three dimensional metaphor.

How many variables are there in human life? Billions. Trillions.

And they are not static. They are all interdependent.

You make eye contact with somebody on the street, and it affects their mood, which affects all the people THEY interact with, which in turn affects all THOSE people, and on and on.

Clearly, this is WAY to complicated to even APPROXIMATE with your conscious mind.

This is why expecting some kind of step by step method to ANY success that you can CONSCIOUSLY understand is kind of missing the point.

Imagine a basketball coach telling his players EXACTLY where to dribble the ball, exactly when to pass it (down to the second) and exactly WHEN to shoot.

It would be ridiculous because nobody would have ANY IDEA what to do until they interact with the other team.

Same in life. It is IMPOSSIBLE to tell anybody how to get anything, unless they get out and interact with life, and respond based on what they see, moment to moment.

If you try to do this consciously, you’ll be frozen.

But if you just relax, and TRUST you instinct, your subconscious, you’ll do a LOT better.

Of course, you need to have two things for this to work.

One is you need to have a clear idea of what you want.

Two is you need a strong solid belief that you can and will get it.

You don’t need to know how. You don’t need to know when.

You just need to know.

If you have these two things, and a willingness to take action, you’ll get what you want.

Get Started:

December 05th, 2015

Start Cooking

Get Busy Cooking

​I used to work at this place where every Friday somebody would bring in something to eat.

It all started as a regular “donut Friday” as most offices have.

But in the spirit of competition, everybody was trying to outdo everybody else.

And since we had a pretty diverse office staff, there were some AMAZING dishes that people brought in.

One guy brought in this big pot of chili. (Yep, instead of Friday morning donuts, we had chili!)

He said his wife made it from a long series of experimenting.

She found this ONE secret ingredient (he wouldn’t tell us what it was) that when added, made the chili REALLY good.

Many recipes are like that. 99% regular stuff, but 1% that gives it it’s special “flavor.” Most of the time you can’t really put your finger why it tastes so good, but the chef certainly knows.

Humans are like that as well.

Think of an accomplishment you’d like to achieve in five or ten years.

Something REALLY huge. WAY out there.

Something that would take a lot of effort, dedication, persistence, and trial and error.

Something that would fundamentally change who you are along the way.

Now, right off the bat, most people are put off by something like this. They imagine the secret of life is waiting around to be given free stuff.

But those who consistently achieve greatness know that you’ve got to push yourself outside your comfort zone to get what you want.

Anyhow, think of that big, huge outcome like a “recipe” of your life.

A recipe that contains a lot of skills.

And food recipes, there are some common ones. Social skills. Self confidence. Intelligence. Creativity. The ability to take small risks consistently. The ability to NEVER give up no matter what happens.

But in YOUR own life, in your own unique way, there’s that one small skill that will make YOU somehow stand out.

Like a secret ingredient in something everybody loves, there’s that small skill or mind shift that will make EVERYTHING come together.

If you could imagine yourself five or ten years from now, looking back at everything it took to get you there, what is YOUR secret ingredient?

What is that ONE small thing that suddenly made everything shift into focus?

That ONE skill that when added to all your other skills, turned you from a regular human, who’s content to sit around and wait for free stuff, to a SUPER HUMAN, who is willing to get out there and GET STUFF.

Find Yours:

Are You An Innie or an Outie?

Invent Yourself

How To Reinvent Yourself

​When I was a kid I loved Halloween. We’d spend weeks coming up with the perfect costume.

Then later, in college, it was the same thing. Only instead of wanting to impress the adults, we wanted to impress each other.

It’s been a while since I dressed up, I think last time was at this kids party. So I wanted to “scare” them without really “scaring” them.

All three of these situations, I wanted to “impress” people by my outward appearance.

Many people have discovered that you pick up and move to a different city, or even country, it’s pretty easy to “reinvent” yourself. You’ll have a chance to start fresh.

Anybody that has gone through any substance abuse recovery program of any sort knows that it’s not a good idea to hang out with the old crowd. It’s easy to slip back into your old way of doing things.

In NLP they have this idea of “Meta Programs.” These semi-permanent filters in our brains that affect how we perceive the world and our place in it.

One of these is how we reference “success” or “failure.”

On one hand, there are people who ONLY reference their internal compass. If they’re doing the right thing, it doesn’t matter what everybody else says.

On the other hand, there are people who ONLY reference those outside of them. They can’t decide to save their lives, and NEED some kind of group or other person to tell them what to do.

Clearly, most people are a mix, and we tend to change our mix slightly based on who we’re around, or if we’re around anybody.

Now, it’s not the purpose of NLP to say which is “better” or “worse.” That’s a PURELY subjective judgment, and nobody’s opinion is any more “valid” than anybody else’s.

You can, however, say what is more RESOURCEFUL.

The idea being that the more options you’ve got, the more choices you’ll have, and the easier it will be for you to achieve whatever it is you want to achieve.

If you’ve ever been to anything like a real estate or Network Marketing seminar, it’s really heavy on the EXTERNAL motivation. You get all jacked up while you’re there, but when you’re back at home a week later, you don’t really feel any different.

This is what happens when you are dependent on forces outside of yourself for validation and motivation.

On the other hand, if you’ve got an internal guidance system, a very STRONG set of beliefs about yourself, and your own motivation, you’ll succeed no matter WHERE you are.

Learn More:

How To Ditch Your Monkey Brain

Monkey Brains

Because

​One of the most powerful words in persuasion is “because.”

They did this study once. They had a young woman try to cut in line in a copy machine. She first asked if she could cut in line. A large percentage of the time, people said “no.”

Then she tried to cut in line and gave a reason. She said “I need to cut in line because my car is in a tow away zone and I don’t have much time.” And guess what? Most people let her cut in line.

Then they tried something really good. She said, “I need to cut in line because I have some copies to make.”

And guess what? They still let her cut in line most of the time.

Because she used the magic word “because.”

It seems our brains are hard wired to see cause-effect relationships. And when something is presented to us in a cause-effect relationship, it’s VERY hard to disagree with.

They think it’s because long ago Mother Nature decided it was a lot quicker making these connections (cause-effect), even if they were sometimes incorrect, than have to figure things out every single time.

This also translates into “meaning.” If A causes B, then A also MEANS B in our monkey brains.

A tiger MEANS we’re about to get eaten.

Now, if you actually did a study where you wandered around the jungle, chances are that every time you saw a tiger, you wouldn’t get eaten.

But if you DON’T assume danger EVERY SINGLE TIME, all you need to do is get eaten once to NOT pass on those “figure it out every time” genes.

Consequently, we generally see two things happening together, and ASSUME it’s some kind of iron-clad, unbreakable law of the universe.

Like maybe once you applied for a bunch of jobs, and didn’t get hired. So you came to the conclusion that “getting a job is difficult.”

Or maybe you tried to talk to a pretty girl and she laughed, so you came to the conclusion that “every single pretty girl in the world will laugh at me.”

Or maybe when you were a kid watching cartoons you could hear your parents in the background arguing about money. So you came up with the idea that “money causes problems.”

Of course, NONE of these are true. Many people believe talking to pretty girls is fun and natural. Many people believe making money is easy and exciting. Many people believe that getting any job is as easy as ordering a pizza.

What do YOU want to believe?

Get Started:

Eject That Pesky Monkey!

Kick Him Off

Free Your Mind

​A lot of times we use metaphors without really knowing what they mean.

Well, that’s not really true. We know what they mean, but we don’t know WHY they mean that.

Linguist Stephen Pinker has documented several cases where once a metaphor passes a generation or two, it’s original connection is lost. The metaphor, in the brain of the new users, is a direct representation of the meaning.

Take “kick the bucket” for example. Sure, we know it means to “die.” That’s what the term “bucket list” comes from. Things you do before you “kick the bucket.” Now, why in the world kicking a bucket means dying is anybody’s guess. Sure, plenty of people have their theories, but nobody really knows for sure.

Another one is “buy the farm,” which also means dying. Sure, plenty of people have ideas why this means dying, but they’re really just guesses that sound good.

One of my favorites is “raining cats and dogs.” Why in the world “cats and dogs?” I actually did some research to try and find out, and there is one “best guess” that sounds pretty cool.

Back in the old days of England, people were pretty dirty. They just threw their garbage out the window, onto the street. So when it rained really heavy, it would wash all the garbage down the street. Including the dead animals. So people would say it was “raining cats and dogs” because as they watched the water rush down the street, it was carrying dead animals along with the rest of the garbage.

Again, this is only a “best guess.” When it comes to the original of language, phrases, words, etc, it’s really hard to trace back the original location.

But some things are easy to understand. Some metaphors are pretty clear why they mean what they do.

Like having a “monkey on your back.” Some creature hanging on keeping you limited and inhibited. Screaming in your ear.

Some problem you can’t get rid of, because it keeps on hanging on.

It’s an appropriate metaphor because a “monkey” in and of itself is a good metaphor for a primitive human.

So saying you’ve got a “monkey on your back” is like saying you’re being constantly harangued by your primitive self.

That primitive self who wants to stay safe at all costs. Your enlightened, rational self has an idea. An idea that may help you fall in love, make a ton of cash, or get yourself into a much better career.

But that monkey on your back whispers negative voices in your ear. Makes you afraid. Makes you hesitate. Forces you to reconsider.

The good news is there IS a way to get that monkey off your back.

For good.

Learn How: