There’s a metaphor about heaven and hell that I like.

As it goes, in both heaven and hell there’s both plenty of people, and plenty of food.

And in both heaven and hell, the food comes in these bowls.

In both places, the people have to eat with these really, really long spoons.

The ONLY difference is what goes on in the minds of the inhabitants.

Everything else is EXACTLY the same.

In hell, nobody trusts anybody, so everybody tries to get by solely on their own. But since the spoons are too long to use, everybody’s always starving, lonely, and miserable.

But in heaven, people work together. They trust each other. They are willing to take risks. They know that you can get whatever you want, so long as you help others get what THEY want FIRST.

So they first take their long spoon, scoop out some food in some other person’s bowl, and feed them. They don’t know if they’ll reciprocate. They don’t worry that the person might take advantage of them. They don’t worry that everybody might think their an idiot for being so gullible.

And guess what?

This selfless behavior INSPIRES others. That other person that got fed by a stranger CAN’T wait to return the favor. They look around for somebody in need, so they can help.

Pretty soon, everybody is eagerly helping others, sharing, creating relationships, making friends.

Everybody’s happy. Everybody’s full. Nobody’s left behind.

Meanwhile, back in hell, everybody’s still starving, angry, alone, and worried that somebody is going to come and steal their food (that they can’t eat anyway).

This is the secret of charisma and personal magnetism.

Forget about talking about yourself and your own desires. Forget about your own shortcomings (real or imagined). Forget about all the constant approval seeking.

Go first. See somebody who could use a friend. Go and talk to them. Ask them about what they want. Find out what’s special and unique about them.

Spend your time focusing on and helping others.

Be an inspiration.

Do this, and others will be EAGER to help you get what you want, whatever it is.

What’s more, since all of us humans are MUCH MORE similar than we are different, there’s a really good chance what YOU want shares a lot with what THEY want.

And that overlap is the source of all partnerships, friendships, and romances.

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