According to Dale Carnegie, the original guru of social skills, everybody’s always listening to their favorite radio station.

WII-FM

Or, “What’s In It For Me?”

Now, this isn’t bad, or negative or a slam on human nature. If humans DIDN’T always concern themselves for what was important to us, we’d never get anything.

Even on a subconscious level, whenever we consider taking action, there’s part of us that’s hoping to improve ourselves.

Now, a lot of people have problems with this. But even when we’re doing charity work, selflessly serving others, we are STILL doing it for OUR own reasons, even if they are spiritual.

And even if those reasons are only known by us, even subconsciously, they are STILL our reasons.

However, humans are ALSO highly social creatures. We also know on a deep level that one of the BEST ways to get what we want is to participate in a group so that EVERYBODY’S interests kind of overlap.

It’s a lot more fun when everybody’s getting their needs met. When it’s win-win instead of win-lose.

Unfortunately, a lot of people are too afraid to participate like that. They’re so worried about getting the short end of the stick that they make sure they stick it others before they get stuck.

But if you’re brave, you can find plenty of people that have enough overlap. Otherwise society wouldn’t be possible.

The way most people go about doing this they talk about what’s important to them, but in a friendly and outgoing way.

It’s like they’re tossing their own interests out there, and hoping somebody will share them.

This works pretty well. In fact, you may say this kind of behavior is hard wired into us.

However, there is a better way.

And that is to simply START OFF by finding out what’s important to other people FIRST.

Keep asking them about their interests, their desires, their goals.

Get them fired up. If you do that, a funny thing will start to happen.

They’ll start to SEE YOU through the lens of their desires and interests.

Meaning before they even know anything about you, they’ll have a deep appreciation and attraction for you.

Which means if then start talking about what’s important to you, they’ll almost certainly help you get it.

This is what charisma and personal magnetism REALLY is.

It’s being interested enough in others so that NO MATTER what you start talking about next, THEY will be interested in you. Not only that, but they’ll be willing to help you get it, simply because how you make them feel on a deep level.

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