Ever wonder why some people are always ultra confident, and others are naturally shy?

It helps to understand the lighting quick process our brains go through when entering into unknown situations.

Our brains don’t like to do a lot of work. We have a combination of programming and learned references to help preserve brain power.

So when you walk into any situation, your brain does a couple of quick passes. The first is sort for any instinctive based triggers, like any authority figure or any social proof signals.

The second sweep is to compare the situation you’re about to enter with anything similar you’ve done in the past.

This happens in less than a second, and the result is your “feeling” about that particular situation. Fear, happiness, excitement, boredom, etc.

If there’s no clear authority or social structure, meaning there’s just a bunch of people doing their own thing, then you’ll quickly reference your own history. 

If there is something you’d like out of the situation (meeting new and interesting people, for example) and you’ve never done well in that type of situation, then the “feeling” that your brain will deliver to you may be anxiety or something else less than helpful.

But even if you’ve never confidently walked into a room and chatted up a bunch of strangers, you can still learn to generate automatic confidence instead of anxiety wherever you go.

Another thing your brain does really well is generalize. You learn to tie one pair to shoes, you can tie them all. You can learn to drive one car, you can drive lots of different vehicles.

This also works with confidence. It’s easy to generalize feelings of confidence in one situation, like talking to your friends, to other situations, like talking to strangers.

It’s just a matter of training your subconscious to NOT think of talking to “strangers” but rather talking to “people,” something you have tons of experience with.

Of course, retraining your brain won’t be instant, any more than learning any other skill can be learned on the spot. It takes practice, and some mental effort, but not much.

In just a few minutes day, doing some focused mental practice will have enormous benefits.

You’ll train your brain to not only walk into any situation and feel confident, but in control. Meaning other people will look to YOU for guidance.

To learn how, check this out:

Frame Control