Sometimes you can tell a lot more about what’s unsaid, than what IS said.

Or HOW it is said.

It’s been said that it’s not the notes that make the music, but the spaces in between.

Language is the same way.

Long ago, Chomsky discovered the difference between “surface structure” and “deep structure.”

Now, this was kind of misinterpreted, and applied in places where it didn’t really belong. They even changed the names to “d-structure” and “s-structure” to avoid confusion.

But it doesn’t take away from the idea that there’s the words we say on top, and the meaning we are trying to represent with those words.

Even if you’ve got some brilliant ideas, you’ve got to get them out of your head, through that very small “language filter” and into the heads of others so they not only understand your ideas, but see the value in them.

If you’ve ever thought of something brilliant to say, only to spit out a bunch of jumbled word salad, then you know this isn’t easy.

If you told your friends you were studying “language” they would assume you were studying for a trip to a foreign country, or some class.

If you told them you were studying English, they’d think you were nuts.

Which is why when you DO make it a point to “practice” how you use your words, you’ll have a HUGE advantage over everybody else.

The trick is to first get them talking about what they want, the things they like. Then take your message, WHATEVER it is, and phrase in a way that’s a perfect fit for their brain.

If you’ve ever been in sales, you know it’s a numbers game. Or at least that’s what they tell us. Sure, if you spit out the same memorized pitch to every potential customer, you DO have to rely on numbers.

Kind of like having ONE jigsaw puzzle piece and trying to find a “natural fit.”

But if you take the time to not only elicit what’s important to your customers (or friends or potential lovers) AND structure your communication so they’ll hear it based on what’s important to THEM, then you’ll be in pretty good shape.

Meaning you can take your jigsaw puzzle piece and change it however you want, so it will fit wherever you want.

To learn how to do this, check this out:

Conversational Hypnosis