Author Archives: mindpersuasion

How To Build Relationships That Don’t Crash And Burn

Slow Down!

Once there was a kid who was studying the difference between theory and reality. So he asked his dad what the difference was. His dad told him they’d do an experiment.

First, they asked the Mom if she’d sleep with the mailman for ten million dollars. At first she was a bit put off, but then when she realized how close they were to being bankrupt, she said she’d probably do it.

Then they asked the kid’s older sister (a college student) the same question, only about the video game geek who lived next door. Again, she hesitated, but gave the same answer.

“You see,” said the dad. “That’s the difference between theory and reality. In theory, we’re a couple of millionaires, but in reality, we live with a couple of sluts!”

Yuck Yuck.

The difference between theory and reality when meeting girls (not sluts) for long term relationships is basically the same. In theory, it’s pretty easy. Choose the kind of girl you want, figure out a way to sort for those characteristics, and keep meeting girls until you find her.

In reality, it’s pretty tough. Especially when sex gets involved. Men are hard wired to hang on to any warm body that they are having regular sex with.

Even if you have rock solid criteria, once you start getting physical, it’s hard to stick to your criteria. Those emotional feelings that come with sex are so powerful it’s hard to resist.

It’s like your inner caveman is a master hypnotist who convinces you she’s the perfect girl you’ve been looking for all along.

Which is why I’d recommend NOT sleeping with any girl unless you are pretty certain she ALREADY passes a lot of your criteria.

Which means you’ve got to HAVE some criteria.

Now, what those are is up to you, but you should at least come up with some basics. College or no college, politics, religion, how she feels on certain issues.

Remember, any girl you get down with is going to feel good. But once those good feelings vanish, if the both of you don’t have a good reason to stick around, you won’t.

This is why relationships can crash and burn even when they started so hot and heavy.

So do yourself a favor. Take some time, before you go out again, to figure out what kind of characteristics you’d like in your “dream girl.”

Not only will this make it less likely to get burned, but it will also give you a lot more confidence.

Since you won’t be hoping to be accepted by every hottie you see. You’ll have the mind of a sorter, instead of a beggar. Which will make you much more attractive.

Get Started:

Girlfriend Generator

What Kind Of Movie Is Your Life?

Your Epic Hero’s Journey

I like watching movies. It’s one of the ways I like to “turn off my brain” and relax.

Some movies are really good, I can watch them over and over again.

Some moves are pleasant to watch, but I wouldn’t want to see them again.

I also like reading novels. I’ve noticed the same thing. There’s a few, really good novels that I read every few years.

People have been telling stories, in one form or another, for as far back as humans have been writing down history.

Interesting thing is that the same story structures keep popping up in various cultures.

I don’t know about you, but when I’m watching a good movie, sometimes I imagine myself in the lead role. How I’d respond to the situation, what I may do differently.

They say a good writer can come up with a character the audience can sympathize with. Meaning we watch the guy or girl and we root for them. If we can imagine ourselves in their shoes, the writer has done a good job.

One common “feeling” when watching movies is being uplifted, inspired, motivated.

Milton Erickson (the famous hypnotist) knew that stories were the most powerful way to quickly and permanently affect change in the lives of his patients.

He wasn’t one of those, “And how do you feel about that? What do you think that means?” type of therapist.

He was a “Hmm. Interesting. That reminds me of a story. Once upon a time…” type of therapist.

Sure, stories can kill time.

But they can also do a lot more.

One type of movie that generally gets slammed by critics, even though people enjoy the movie, are “feel good” movies. These are the movies where there’s never any question the good guys are going to win. There’s not much conflict, no real bad guys, just a happy adventure where the good guys have a good time and a few laughs.

While they feel good, they don’t really inspire anything.

It’s like eating something really sweet, with no nutritional value. Tastes good, but that’s about it.

On the other hand, movies that send us through the ringer are the ones we like. When we really don’t know what’s going to happen. When we really are relieved when the good guys win.

Which do you think is a more appropriate metaphor for life? Not just life in general, but your life?

A sappy, smiley, skip through the colorful meadow? Everything works out?

Or an epic adventure, where the hero’s got to dig deep and put it all on the line?

Since this is YOUR life, and YOU are the hero, what do you want?

Snappy theme songs and happy faces?

Or you do you want to get out there and slay some frikkin dragons?

Get Going:

Mind Persuasion

How To Get Flake Proof Numbers

Always Be Testing

One very crucial skill to have when meeting girls for potential relationships is to test their attraction. Most guys blaze full speed ahead, not really knowing one way or the other.

This tends to get a lot of false positives. Meaning he’s over there chatting her up, she’s not really interested, and he doesn’t really notice. So he number closes, and she gives him the number just to get rid of him. Then he thinks he’s succeeded, but in reality he’s got a very low probability candidate. He calls her, she blows him off, and he gets angry and vents online about how all women are flakes and not to be trusted.

Sound familiar?

All this can be avoided with some simple testing. That way, you KNOW she’s interested in you before you ask for the number. Now, some people say that asking for her number is the ultimate test, but this will get you a lot of false numbers. It’s WAY too easy to simply give a guy a number and then later blow him off, or string him along.

Now, most guys don’t get this, but when a girl strings a guy along, she’s really just not assertive enough to say no. She’s hoping he’ll get the hint, but he thinks he’s still got a chance. This, of course, leads to further misunderstandings.

Anyhow, how do you test?

Many ways. Kino is one way. You simply touch her on an appropriate place, like the shoulder of forearm, and see how she responds. If she recoils in horror, or freezes, she’s not into you. If she opens up slightly, or even touches you back within a minute or so, that’s a pretty clear sign.

Another way is to close off rapport slightly, by switching from matching body language to mismatching body language. If she follows you, she’s into you. If she doesn’t, she’s not.

Another way is to take her to another location, within the same establishment. Like if she’s in a bookstore, take her over to show her your favorite photography book. If you’re in a club, take her to a different place. If she follows without hesitation, she’s into you. If she mentions her friends or anything, she’s probably not.

Now, if she’s not clearly into you, what you do next is up to you. You can back off and try to build more attraction, if you think you’re close. Or you can simply excuse yourself and go talk to somebody else.

But if you practice this, you’ll definitely start getting a much higher quality of phone numbers.

Girlfriend Generator

Rediscover Your Inner Hero

Awaken Your Genius

A long time ago, you were an absolute genius.

You looked out into the world, with nothing but excitement and curiosity.

You had no idea what was out there, only that you wanted to find out.

And the more you found out, the more you wanted to find out.

A perfect balance between means and ends. The means of getting out there was an end in and of itself, but not so much that you forgot about the ends.

You enjoyed the process, but not so much you were content to run around in circles.

You wanted to get somewhere. Then that end, that thing you were going after, was merely a small step to a larger goal. Something you sort of knew about, but not really.

The more you achieved, the more you wanted to achieve, and the more you needed to learn.

A perfect balance of learning, achieving, appreciating, and wanting more, and having the confidence, curiosity, drive and pure love for the whole process to keep you moving forward.

Then something happened. Learning stopped being so easy and natural, and started becoming frustrating, and sometimes scary.

The results were good, but not nearly as good as before.

Why?

Instead of YOU choosing them, these “results” were chosen for you.

Not only that, if you didn’t go after them the way THEY they told you to, it made you less and less excited, and more and more anxious, nervous, and frustrated.

Why does this happen?

Why do we come into this world, filled with so much love, appreciation and desire only to have it slowly and meticulously pounded out of us?

Is the world evil?

Were we put here to suffer?

I think you know the answer.

In those quite moments of inner peace, those fleeting moments of clarity, you KNOW why you are here.

You might not give it name, or words. But you know. Deep down, you know.

Your purpose is to remember who you are.

To find that inner explorer, the fearless discover of the world around you.

Perhaps you knew this before you came here.

That only that small, brief taste of your true potential would be enough.

Enough to launch you into your life’s mission to discover your true purpose.

To not only rediscover who you are, but to maximize your ability to share your gifts with the world.

Get Started:

Mind Persuasion

How To Build The Ideal Relationship With The Ideal Woman

Three Essential Skills

There’s two basic elements of game that pretty much every guy misses. Three if you’re intending on building a quality relationship with a quality girl.

The problem is that most guys prevent themselves from even admitting they are weak in these areas. Cognitive dissonance is something that keeps us from admitting less than positive things about ourselves to protect our ego.

So, assuming you fall into the category of most humans, you’ve got a couple choices. One is to protect your precious ego, and accept your current level of success with women.

The other is to suck it up, face your deficiencies, overcome them (which is super easy once you simply realize what they are) and then simply start getting better and better at getting better and better women.

Assuming that’s what you want, here are the deficiencies.

One is internal game. You’ve got to really, really believe that you are worthy of the girl that you are intending to catch. Meaning you have to believe based on OBJECTIVE data why YOU would be a good catch. Not the silly notion that every guy deserves a hot girl just because.

This means having rock solid, REAL self confidence. Rock solid, REAL social skills. True comfort in your own skin. The ability and natural confidence to start a conversation with anybody, anywhere.

The second is being able to notice signals. The idea you can walk up to a any girl and spit out some goofy lines and seduce her is ridiculous. It’s possible, sure, but so is winning the lotto. Anybody who’s business plan’s winning the lotto is going to be hanging out with empty bottles of Night Train.

Which means you need to only “hit on” girls that have sent you a signal that they WANT to be hit on. If you don’t see those signals, you’ll be hitting on girls who want nothing to do with you.

Solve these two problems, and you’ll get laid a lot.

However, if you want a rock solid relationship, you’ll need something else.

And that is criteria. Meaning you have to know what you want in a serious relationship. And this goes beyond silly romantic notions like “loyalty,” or “she won’t cheat on me,” or the ultra popular, “she’s gotta be hot!”

Those things are RESULTS of having a lot in common with her. If you and her have a lot in common, you’re emotionally open, and you’re committed to WORK on the relationship (which goes beyond just receiving the benefits most guys are after) then she’ll never WANT to leave you.

This means having high standards, that are SUBJECTIVE. Religion, politics, financial beliefs, financial background.

This is stuff you MUST sort for if you want a positive relationship with a “quality woman.”

If you’re ready, then check this out:

Girlfriend Generator

Do You Know What You’re Creating?

Four Quadrants Of Learning

If you want to learn something, you can find plenty of helpful tutorials online.

For example, I’ve got a friend who into knitting. She wanted to learn this new stitch or weave (or whatever they call them) so she just looked it up on YouTube.

If you want to learn Photoshop, there’s no shortage of tutorials, free and paid.

Most skills are like this. Figure out what out you want, find the best way to learn it, and get started.

Generally speaking, with skills (that aren’t part of our jobs) we have an outcome in mind. If you wanted to learn how to reproduce a certain photo effect, you’d know when you were finished.

Of course, you can still learn skills without knowing why you want to learn them. I’ve studied all kinds of different software, and software techniques just for the fun of learning them. Sometimes I’ll figure out a way to use them, sometimes I won’t.

The process of learning, however, is enough to be an end in and of itself.

You might say there’s four quadrants of learning. You know what you want, and you know how to get there.

You know what you want, and you don’t know how to get there.

You know how to get somewhere, but you aren’t sure want to go.

You don’t know where to go, and you wouldn’t know how to get there if you did!

Of course, this last one is kind of funny, especially when we consider that’s how plenty of us live our lives.

Sure, we somehow muddle through day by day. Sure we know we want something more. More money, more friends, more time off, more sex, etc.

But what specifically do we want, and how specifically we’ll get there is something we’d rather not think about.

At least today.

Maybe tomorrow. Or when we finally finish cleaning out our closet. Or maybe after…..

The problem is that by doing this, we run the risk of being near the end of our lives and thinking, “What happened?”

Imagine, now, if you can, you are now at the closing chapter of your life. And you are looking back at all your accomplishments.

What are you most proud of? What things were the most difficult to achieve, but the most rewarding when you achieved them?

What things do you wish you did more of? What things do you wish you did less of?

Now come back to the here and now, and imagine your life ahead of you.

What do you want to build? What would you like to accomplish?

Whatever quadrant you’re in now, you can easily shift to a more useful one.

As soon as you choose a specific desire, out there in the future, all you’ve got to do is get started in that direction.

You’ll figure out everything you need along the way.

These will help:

Mind Persuasion

How To Appreciate Girls Without Getting In Trouble

Ditch The Self Judgment

Most guys are terrified of openly expressing their interest in a woman.

They’re afraid they’ll get rejected, or worse, there’re afraid they’ll be labeled as a “creep” or a “pervert” as if they are doing something wrong.

But consider this. Sexual desire is the most natural thing there is, assuming everybody is age appropriate.

If men never expressed their sexual desires, humans wouldn’t exist.

You may even say that the whole of society is a manifestation of man’s sexual desire.

But, you say, I checked that girl out the other day and she caught me, and gave me a dirty look!

Consider this. When you think of doing the nasty with a hot girl you see, it likely makes you FEEL dirty before she even sees you. Maybe because all of your experiences are the same. Maybe because when you were a kid your mom or your kindergarten teacher found you playing with your little guy and gave you a creepy look. But that wasn’t because it was inherently bad, it’s just that grownups DON’T feel comfortable talking about that stuff with kids.

It’s like one of those chicken and egg questions. What came first? Pure, honest, sexual desire, or the feeling of creepiness surround pure sexual desire?

I suggest that pure sexual desire (age appropriate, of course) is PERFECTLY NATURAL. It’s just because most people suck at expressing it that everybody THINKS it’s creepy.

But it’s not.

In a sense, when you’re checking out a girl, you’re already judging yourself as creepy or a pervert before she even takes a look.

Which means she’s not judging you as a creep because you were checking her out, she was judging you a creep because YOU judged YOURSELF a creep.

Most guys know that women want a guy who’ll lead. But what if they automatically follow a guy as their default setting?

Which means HOWEVER YOU JUDGE YOURSELF is how she is going to judge you. Not just her, but society in general.

Which is fantastic news.

Because all you’ve got to do is STOP JUDGING YOURSELF and so will she.

If you accept your sexual desire as normal, natural, and crucially, necessary for the survival of the human race, so will she.

Which means when you express your appreciation for her, even if it’s purely sexual, she will LOVE IT.

Now, this of course means you’ve got to have a healthy desire to find out about her personality, and whether or not she’s a match.

Because the bottom line truth is that most women (simply by the law of statistics) WILL NOT be a match.

But that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy looking.

Not just looking, but appreciating.

So next time you’re out checking out the ladies, try this out.

Think these words in your mind:

“I like looking at you. You are VERY attractive. I get good feelings when I look at you. And when I’m looking at you, I’m imagining that we are PERFECT for each other and can make each other VERY HAPPY. I would LOVE to meet you to see if that’s true or not.”

Try that, and see what happens.

Girlfriend Generator

The Magic Alchemy Machine

Imagination Is Everything

Most people have zero idea how powerful their imagination is.

Many believe that at best, it’s something to use to kill time when you’re bored. Fantasize about your future, that guy or girl you like, or that you’re the star in the TV show you’re watching.

Others see it as some horrible enemy that screws things up. Just when they get ready to try something new, their imagination takes over and shows them all the awful things that will happen if things go wrong.

Let’s say you had some kind of mystery tool. Maybe one day you were cleaning out your garage and you found this cool shiny thing with a bunch of buttons.

You started hammering on the buttons, in random order, and it made some cool noises and flashing lights. But some buttons made it spit out some stinky gas. So you figured it’d be some kind of fun thing to play with if you ever got bored.

Maybe when you and your buddies were sitting around, you’d take turns pushing the buttons in random order just to see what would happen.

Maybe cool, maybe not.

But what if you found this cool machine, as well as a detailed owners manual?

And there were TONS of “recipes” in there, to push the buttons in a specific order, and instead of sounds or smells, you got actual things out of this magic machine. Actual physical objects like books, computers, food, or stacks of money.

There was even a detailed section on how to program this machine, not only to make more complicated things, but to make more machines.

What would you think then?

The truth is we’ve all got a machine just like that.

Your imagination.

Only most of us think it’s something to play around with when we’re bored, and even then it may backfire on us.

The select few of you who take the time to learn how to use this “machine” can create magnificent things.

All you need is an instruction manual, some time, and an idea of what you’d like to create.

Can it really be that simple?

Check it out, and see:

Mind Persuasion

The Benefits Of Long Game

Stop Hustling For Short Term Action

Some of the most powerful people in the world operate behind the scenes.

They cause events to happen not because the initial outcome is what want. Nor the secondary or tertiary outcome. But because they know they are setting up the conditions for the outcome they REALLY want.

And it’s not some kind of once-off type of deal. It is a situation where they can continue to reap the benefits of their efforts for DECADES.

This is the power of the LONG CON. However, the word “con” is not the best word. The word “con” involves stealing, or law breaking, or some kind of trickery or manipulation.

However, when dealing with women, and personal relationships, the structure is the same. In this respect, the term long “game” is more appropriate, but even then it’s a misnomer. When you think of “gaming” somebody, it conjures up ideas of one person “winning” and the other person “losing.”

It can help to think in terms of sales. For example, think of an insurance salesman. Let’s say he goes door to door, and tries to sell people auto insurance. There’s basically two types of “game” he can employ.

Short game, or long game.

Short game is where he comes up with some super ninja language patterns, or really persuasive charisma that gets him really high closing rates. Like maybe two or three out of ten people. Considering it only takes him a couple three hours or burn through that many potential customers, and that each sales is worth a couple hundred, that’s pretty good money.

However, those customers aren’t likely going to be long term customers. His “short game” doesn’t allow for him to see if they are really a match for his product or not.

Which means most of them cancel after the first year. Which means he ALWAYS has to be out hustling new customers.

As soon as he stops hustling, his income stream wills top not long thereafter.

Now think of a guy who employs ultra “long game” strategy.

Maybe he talks to 100 or even 500 customers before he gets a sale. Maybe he only gets a sale every one or two weeks.

Sounds horrible at first glance.

But these customers are LIFE LONG customers. They renew EVERY SINGLE YEAR. Not only that, but guess who they call when they know somebody who needs insurance? Or when their kid’s old enough to drive? Or when they buy a new car, or even a new house?

That’s right, they call him.

How many of these customers do you think he needs for a really FAT and really PASSIVE INCOME?

Not a lot. Maybe a couple hundred.

Sure, he’s got to hustle a lot, and NOT GET PAID while he’s getting those customers. Most sales people don’t have that kind of long term vision, or patience.

But those that do get paid FOR LIFE.

Long term game, when it comes to women, is the same.

How does it apply?

You can use short term game. Do a lot of hustling to get a lot of low quality (unqualified) women in the sack. But when you stop hustling, so does the love.

On the other hand, you can employ long game. Find high quality candidates that don’t need to be gamed. They see the quality of your product (YOU) and are sold on their own.

How do you do that?

Take some time talking to her. Figure out if you REALLY ARE a match. Forget the short term, NON-SUSTAINTABLE relationships that all the other clowns are chasing.

Keep this up and before long, you’ll have a few HIGH QUALITY WOMEN that are totally into you. And they will be the ones trying to close you.

With little effort on your part.

How do you create this wonderful situation?

Here’s How:

Girlfriend Generator

How To Ditch The Agony Of Defeat

How To Create A Positive Feedback Loop

Whenever you do any kind of planning or manifesting, it’s always recommended to have a positive expectation.

If you think you’ll fail, you will increase your chances of that happening. Say you go in for a job interview, and you don’t think you’ll do well. This will decrease your enthusiasm, which will have a negative effect on how you present yourself.

Of course, this will decrease the chances you get the job, making your negative expectations come true.

On the other hand, if you’ve got positive expectations, and really imagine yourself having the job, then you’ll be much more outgoing, confident and articulate. Things interviewers love to see.

However, this won’t guarantee you get the job. Sure, it will increase your chances. But what if everybody else who’s interviewing is doing the same thing?

This is one of the problems with holding a positive expectation. If it doesn’t happen right away, it’s very easy to get discouraged, angry and resentful.

Expecting to get something, and then not getting it, feels VERY similar to getting cheated.

It’s the same, on an emotional level, as somebody making a promise to you that is based on pure lies.

I’m sure you’ve heard that old saying, “Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst.”

Thing about those old sayings is there’s a reason they’ve been around for a while.

How do you implement them? How do you continue to maintain a positive expectation when odds are you’ll run into problems, difficulties and obstacles no matter what?

One is to take on the mindset of responsibility. One of the reasons we feel cheated when things don’t work out, is we still have the mindset of “receiving something” rather than “earning something.”

Often times, we feel like we’re supposed to put in a certain amount of work and then the “universe” is supposed to “give us” a prize for our efforts.

Kind of like being a little kid playing some game at a birthday party.

Think of something that you KNOW is totally under your control. When things don’t go the way you’d hoped, you step back and do something different. This is pretty much the underlying structure of ALL human behavior.

Action, feedback, increased information, more action.

This is true for huge life dreams, like creating a lucrative career. This is true for very small things, like finding our way to the bathroom in the dark in a friends house.

To remove the sting of not getting what you want, think in terms of creating, rather than simply being a passive receiver.

Not only will it make things much easier, but because you’ll have much more control, you’ll be able to create a LOT more.

Learn How:

Goal Setting