Category Archives: Approach Anxiety

Girl Getting Confidence Tricks

Extreme Confidence With Women

Obliterate All Fear

Here’s a trick that will blast your self confidence with girls through the roof.

However, you MUST understand one thing. The girls you use this “trick” on are NOT girls you are going to try and pick up.

They are only “practice” girls.

This means when you see a girl for the first time, and you’ve exchanged some IOI’s, you’ve got to decide BEFORE you go over there which category she’s in, and STICK to that decision.

Most guys CANNOT do this. They see a girl, and go over there and try anything and everything to get as far as they can, and either get her number, and leave (usually because SHE says she’s got to go or something) or they get blown out. (Which is when SHE says she’s got to go or something).

However, if you follow this strategy, you WILL see positive results.

So, assume you see a girl, and you decide she’s “practice.” Meaning you WILL NOT ask for her contact information or even suggest getting together. You won’t even tell her that you’re not going to ask for her number.

This is what you do.

You walk over and break the ice. Say something that paces the situation. Say you noticed her, you noticed something she did (actually say the thing she did) and then tell her you wanted to find out  more about her, because she seemed interesting.

(All of this is absolutely true, by the way.)

Then ask her name. Ask what she does. Ask open ended questions about anything she seems willing to tell you about. The idea, the goal, the intention, the mission, is to get her to smile while she’s talking to you about things she likes.

Once you get a few smiles, say thanks, and then LEAVE.

Don’t hesitate. Don’t linger. Don’t wait around for her to tell you what a genius alpha male you are or how clever you are.

LEAVE.

Remember, this is ONLY a confidence building exercise.

If you do this two or three times a week, your self confidence around women will SOAR.

But ONLY if you stick to the plan. The ENTIRE plan.

Wait…wait…wait…

What if she asks for YOUR number?

DO NOT GIVE IT TO HER.

Say something like, “Wow, I’m really flattered, but I’m not ready for a relationship or dating or anything right now.”

Right now, of course, meaning that very moment. You may be ready in another hour or so with another girl, but DO NOT tell her than.

This will build up a HUGE and POWERFUL belief in your brain that says this:

“Girls like me. Girls like talking to me. Girls want to talk to me more than I want to talk to them. Girls want me to stick around after I talk to them. Girls actually try to chase me.”

Do this a few times, and when you see a girl that’s NOT practice, it will be much, much easier.

Beware Of Seduction Patterns

Does Paint By Numbers Seduction Really Exist?

Paint By Numbers Pick Up?

There’s a lot of patterns out there that allegedly will help you get laid.

You memorize them, say them in the right order, and suddenly she’ll turn into your willing sex slave.

Now, just for a minute, imagine what the world would be like if this were actually true. First of all, everybody would be getting laid all the time.

It would be like in the movie, “Bruce Almighty,” when Bruce became God, and started answering “Yes!” to everybody’s prayers.

Good news? Everybody won the lottery.

Bad news? Their winnings were only about $1, since everybody won.

If there WAS some kind of magic string of words that would turn girls into raving sex maniacs, no girl would ever leave her house.

She’d be too terrified.

What if you knew that there was a magic set of words that would transfer ALL the money in your bank account into the person who said these magic words?

AND that anybody could learn these magic words on the internet, for free?

You’d keep all your cash in your house, that’s what. 

Simply because girls go out and talk to random guys is proof that magic words simply don’t exist.

Nor do convoluted language patterns and pick up techniques.

Don’t mean to burst your bubble, but if any “paint by numbers” technique existed, it wouldn’t last very long.

So stop looking for what to say, or what to do, and how exactly to use kino.

The secret of success, in ANY AREA, including getting girls, is simple.

Try something.

See what happens.

Did it work? Good. Do more.

No? No sweat. Try something different.

So, why don’t more guys understand this, and use this simple step by step “procedure” to getting laid (or getting whatever?)

It’s in the “try something” phase.

This part requires doing something WITHOUT KNOWING how it will turn out. Most people (let alone guys who want to pick up girls) are absolutely and utterly TERRIFIED of doing this.

So we “pretend” that we just  need to “learn more” or “study more” or whatever other lie we tell ourselves to keep us from getting rejected. Usually this involves us sitting around waiting for somebody to “tell us” what to do.

Milton Erickson, one of the most famous Hypnotherapists of all time (and upon whom most of NLP is based) had this genius “homework session” for one of his clients.

Guy comes in, and says he’s terrified of rejection. He’d like a girlfriend, but he’s terrified of talking to girls. 

What should I do, doc? 

Does Erickson talk about his childhood? His deep feelings about his mom? Does he make him memorize a bunch of language patterns?

Nope.

Erickson (who had a HUGE success rate only after one or two sessions) merely said this:

“OK, Mr. Client. I promise I can cure you. Do what I say, and you’ll have a girlfriend in no time.”

“Great doc! Thanks! I’ll do anything. What do I do?”

Doc says, “Go out and get rejected ten times, and then come see me next week.”

Client swallows and says OK. He comes back the next week.

“Well,” Doc says, “Did you get rejected ten times?”

“Nope.” Client says, smiling.

“Well, what happened?”

“Well, I got rejected six times, but girl number seven is now my girlfriend.”

See how that works?

Get in the game.

mindpersuasion.com

Simplify And Automate Your Success

Give Your Brain A Break

Make It Easy On The Brain

We humans are hard wired to look for shortcuts.

Once we figure something out, we’d like to automate it, simplify it, or otherwise reduce the amount of brainpower that goes into it.

In physics, scientists have long been looking for a “Grand Unifying Theory.” One super equation that could explain all behaviors of all objects, large and small.

I had a friend who would always ask me to give him a one sentence summary of any book he saw me reading.

Once when I was in high school, me, a bunch of buddies,and a few parents were driving down to Mexico to watch some big road race. 

One of the adults asked me if I’d ever driven in Mexico before. I said no, and he told me the simple rules:

“Don’t hit anybody, and don’t let anybody hit you.”

Humans love simplicity. We don’t like to think if we don’t need to.

However, sometimes life is incredibly complicated. So complicated that you could spend a hundred lifetimes trying to understand it, and all you’ll do is uncover more questions.

Scientists can’t even predict the weather more than a couple of weeks ahead of time, and even then, they can only approximate.

The weather is a simple system with only a few variables.

Human interaction, on the other hand, is infinitely complex. Each of us has a HUGE collection of subjective wants, needs, desires, beliefs, shortcomings, and on and on.

And every time we interact with others, all these variables change a little bit.

If you tried to understand it all, you’d go mad. You’d never leave your house.

But all the good stuff you want in life will come from other people. Which means you’ve got to not only interact with them, but influence them in some way.

Get them to help you, get them to support you, get them on your team. There’s not much you can accomplish all on your lonesome.

The good news is that there’s a very simple, and very powerful way to simply ALL human interaction.

Sure, you could get a PhD in body language reading, learn to drill down in between their words to see what they REALLY mean, and plan every conversation like a championship chess match.

OR, you could simply build up a hugely strong frame, so all you need to do is show up, and people will decide to help you out for THEIR own reasons, before you even open your mouth.

Clearly, this switch won’t happen automatically or overnight. But with a little bit of consistent mental practice, it WILL happen.

Learn how:

Frame Control

Here’s What Women Really Like

Secrets Of Female Desire

Secrets Of Female Desire

There’s some crazy tests they’ve done to see what turns men on, and what turns women on.

These are NOT those lame tests where they ASK people what turns them on. People generally give answers they THINK they should.

Luckily, science ALWAYS finds out how to get around human deception.

One way is to measure the size of the pupil. When we see something we like, our pupils get bigger. 

So they set up these ultra sensitive measuring eyeball things and flash a bunch of pictures.

And what do guys like looking at (according to their pupils)?

Girls. Girls in bikinis. Girls in bikinis with big boobs. Naked girls. Naked girls with big boobs. Naked girls with big boobs kissing each other.

OK, Ok, you get the idea.

Big surprise, right?

What makes girls pupils get bigger?

Babies.

Yep, among all the things, those do it for girls the most.

The moral of the story, then, is that when you’re going out picking up girls, bring a baby.

Just kidding.

But what this DOES tell us that when they flashed pictures of guys with ripped abs, all kinds of bling, even super gorgeous dudes that just walked off the cover of Men’s Health, the girls (according to their pupils) were, “Yea, whatever.”

Which means your body shape, your looks, your bling, your six pack (the one on your stomach or the one in that brown bag you think nobody sees) doesn’t mean squat.

Now, to some guys, this is great news. Most of us don’t belong on the cover of Men’s Health. I know I don’t (except maybe to show what happens when diet and exercise plans fail miserably).

But the folks who DO get angry at this are folks who spend tons of time in the gym, or tons of money on clothes.

They seem to believe they can follow the same playbook girls can. Meaning get in shape, dress nice, and just show up and wait for the girls to flock, like they’re peahens or something.

Here’s a newsflash. (One you already know).

The BEST way to get a girl to notice you, to get her fired up, to get her to want to go home with you (or at least give you her number), is to go up and TALK to her.

That means walking over there, introducing yourself, and find out what she’s all about, and letting her know what you’re all about.

Of course, HOW you talk to her will make all the difference. NOT what you’re wearing while you do.

Learn How:

mindpersuasion.com

The Secret Of Irresistible Magnetism

Blast Out Your Truth

Resonate Your Message

One of the most powerful things you can do is increase your congruence.

This is one of those things that’s easy to talk about, but hard to measure or even define.

It basically comes down to how much of “you” is on board with your actions or words.

Like if you said something you really didn’t believe, most people would know.

One clear sign of incongruence is body language. We all know the signs. Crossed arms, crossed legs, not making eye contact.

If you’ve got kids, you can spot a lie a mile a way.

But a deeper incongruence is when we “think” we believe something, but we really don’t. At least not on all levels.

It’s like when we say something, we’re trying to convince ourselves just as much as everybody else.

However, when you DO develop a large amount of inner congruence, it’s like the gates of heaven open up.

People not only believe every word you say, but they agree with you, and will follow you to the ends of the earth.

Cult leaders are notorious for this kind of thing. They say and do the craziest stuff, that on paper would look absolutely ridiculous.

But when they say it, they are so congruent, and they believe it on ALL levels, it sounds like the most obvious and natural thing there is.

The truth about us humans is we are EASILY swayed by somebody who believes something with all their heart, REGARDLESS of what the content of the message is.

Throw in some social proof, and it’s literally impossible to resist.

Of course, like any other tool, this can be used for good, or for evil.

You can lead people to massive happiness and self-expression, or lead them off a cliff.

You can lead people to generate real and lasting change in their own lives, and the lives of all around them, or you could easily con them out of their life’s savings.

I’m sure you’ve seen examples of both.

Luckily, we all get a choice. A choice of not only which skills to learn, but how we decide to use them.

If you want to learn more, check this out:

Frame Control

Train Out Approach Anxiety With Mind Control

How To Evaporate Approach Anxiety

Total Control Of Your Feelings

Your brain is filled up with literally millions of memories.

What’s more, each and every memory can be seen in plenty of different ways. The older you get, the more you “understand” what your parents were trying to tell you as a kid.

This, of course, can be a double edged sword.

Since you can pretty much reference any memories with any flavor in an instant, you can use your own experience to validate any hair-brained idea that pops into your head.

If you think women are evil and will only hurt you, you’ll find plenty of personal memories to support that.

If you think women are all Angels of Heaven who were put here to bring sensual pleasure to God’s Earth, you’ll find THAT evidence in your past as well. 

It all depends on how willing you are to look for evidence CONTRARY to what you THINK is true.

Confirmation bias doesn’t ONLY color what we see in the world.

It colors which memories we decide to call up.

And here’s something else to wrap your mind around.

The collective color or energy of the memories you call up (usually within a few microseconds) will determine your state.

Your level of confidence, stress, verbal flexibility, motivation, and even your heart rate, breathing levels and perspiration (or lack thereof.).

All from the ten or twenty memories you pull up out of a memory bank of millions.

If you don’t like the way you “feel” in certain situations, it’s simply a matter of learning how to change your reference memories.

Just like building muscle memory, this takes time. If you want to naturally play the piano without thinking, you’re going to need to slowly go through each chord and play every note slowly and methodically, to build in that muscle-brain-sound memory.

Do that enough, and you can play anything by ear, instantly and perfectly.

Same goes with girls.

If you want to feel confident around girls, you’ve got to practice feeling confident. How do you do that?

First, decide what you’d like to feel.

Then, come up with a bunch of memories that MAKE you feel that way.

Then go into a situation where you’d LIKE to feel that way.

Then, just like practicing piano scales, FORCE yourself to slowly recall those memories, that make those feelings bubble up in your brain.

Now, this won’t be instantaneous, and it won’t be easy. Your thoughts are like a slippery eel on meth in vat of salad oil, so holding them won’t be easy.

And to be honest, most guys aren’t willing to do something like this. They’d rather pay for some imaginary quick fix instead of putting in some real work.

But consider what will happen if you DID put in the work.

Imagine six months or so from now, when you can walk up to anybody, anywhere, any time and feel TOTALLY comfortable, and TOTALLY on top of your game.

What will you do then?

Learn More:

mindpersuasion.com

How To Replace Anxiety With Confidence

Control The Thoughts In Your Mind

Choose Your Emotional Response

Ever wonder why some people are always ultra confident, and others are naturally shy?

It helps to understand the lighting quick process our brains go through when entering into unknown situations.

Our brains don’t like to do a lot of work. We have a combination of programming and learned references to help preserve brain power.

So when you walk into any situation, your brain does a couple of quick passes. The first is sort for any instinctive based triggers, like any authority figure or any social proof signals.

The second sweep is to compare the situation you’re about to enter with anything similar you’ve done in the past.

This happens in less than a second, and the result is your “feeling” about that particular situation. Fear, happiness, excitement, boredom, etc.

If there’s no clear authority or social structure, meaning there’s just a bunch of people doing their own thing, then you’ll quickly reference your own history. 

If there is something you’d like out of the situation (meeting new and interesting people, for example) and you’ve never done well in that type of situation, then the “feeling” that your brain will deliver to you may be anxiety or something else less than helpful.

But even if you’ve never confidently walked into a room and chatted up a bunch of strangers, you can still learn to generate automatic confidence instead of anxiety wherever you go.

Another thing your brain does really well is generalize. You learn to tie one pair to shoes, you can tie them all. You can learn to drive one car, you can drive lots of different vehicles.

This also works with confidence. It’s easy to generalize feelings of confidence in one situation, like talking to your friends, to other situations, like talking to strangers.

It’s just a matter of training your subconscious to NOT think of talking to “strangers” but rather talking to “people,” something you have tons of experience with.

Of course, retraining your brain won’t be instant, any more than learning any other skill can be learned on the spot. It takes practice, and some mental effort, but not much.

In just a few minutes day, doing some focused mental practice will have enormous benefits.

You’ll train your brain to not only walk into any situation and feel confident, but in control. Meaning other people will look to YOU for guidance.

To learn how, check this out:

Frame Control

Brass Tacks And Hot Girls

Everything In Life Is A Negotiation

What Most Guys Are Afraid To Know About Girls

Many guys tend to see women as the “enemy.”

Meaning if they walk up to a girl, and don’t get what they want, then it’s some kind of female conspiracy. Or if they go out and get shot down by every girl they approach, they go home bitter and angry.

To be sure, it can seem like an adversarial relationship. On a very deep level, women are programmed to find men to “seem like” good resource providers. And men are programmed to find women to “seem” like good baby makers.

It’s kind of like we’re both, on a VERY subconscious level, trying to pull one over on each other. Guys try getting as much as they can, while giving as little as they can, so do girls. It’s just the way of life.

If you walk into any store where the price is negotiable, it’s the same way. The sales clerk, while pretending to be your long-lost bestest buddy, will charge you as much as possible.

You, on the other hand, while being ultra friendly, are hoping he gets ZERO commissions.

Friendly on the surface, but adversarial on a deeper level.

But like they say in Ancient Rome, “Caveat Emptor.” Which means it’s up to YOU, the customer, to make sure you’re getting a good deal. It’s not up to the store, or the advertisers, or the sales clerk. That job falls squarely on YOU.

Perhaps the reason for so much anger towards women is that guys EXPECT to get something. Then when they don’t get it, they feel cheated.

Like if your goofball neighbor lied to you about the price he paid for his car, telling you he got it for 10K less than he really did.

You go to the shop, asking for the same price, and they look at you like you’re nuts. This of course, makes you angry, as you feel like they’re trying to pull one over on you.

If you want success with women, it’s up to YOU to make it happen. Nobody’s going to give it to you. Women aren’t some magic “reward” for graduating college, or getting a good job, or finally getting that promotion.

They aren’t a “prize” and neither are you.

You are a negotiator and so is she.

And both are you are trying, hoping, to enter into a long term agreement with each other that BOTH parties get what they want, at a reasonable cost.

If you want an attractive woman in your life who spins your propellers in the right ways, YOU’VE got to be an attractive man in HER life to spin HER propellers the right ways.

That requires negotiation. Usually a lot.

This will help:

Frame Control

Why Words Only Get You So Far

Explode Your Personal Magnetism

Deep Structure Of Charisma and Personal Magnetism

One mistake we tend to make is when we model other people.

Since humans have been around, we’ve learned much of what we can do by copying others.

When we were young, we copied our parents and those around us.

When we were in school, we learned by paying attention to social triggers.

I remember once in third grade, there was this brief but intense “yo-yo” fad.

At the end of second grade, nobody had a yo-yo. But by the first couple months of third grade, EVERYBODY had a yo-yo, and everybody was trying to outdo each other with all the different tricks.

Since this was WAAAAY before the internet, the only way we could learn new tricks was by watching and copying others. It’s not like that they had a book of yo-yo tricks in the local library.

With yo-yo tricks, what you see is what you get. You can either do the trick, or you can’t. You have feedback right then and there that tells you if you are doing it right or not. (My big trick was “around the world”).

It gets pretty complicated, pretty quickly, when the skills we are “copying” from others involve human interaction and communication.

In sales, they try to make this as simple as possible. I’ve had a couple of face to face, in-home sales jobs where they wouldn’t let you go out into the field unless you had a complete, 20 minute presentation fully memorized.

Funny thing was, that even though everybody was going out and spitting out the same memorized pitch, some people sold a lot, some people didn’t sell anything.

I’m sure you know that communication is only about 7% verbal. The rest of the 93%, all the body language, facial expressions, indications of confidence or lack of confidence, that accounts for the sales, and the non-sales.

So even if you take a perfectly written script, and memorize it line for line, it will only take you 7% of the way.

(This is one reason why really good actors get paid so much, they can “fake” most of that 93% where “bad” actors can’t).

How do you get that other 93%? 

It’s all about your inner game. The energy you carry with you, and subconsciously project everywhere you go.

Funny thing is, when somebody comes along that is REALLY solid in that 93%, the words won’t really matter much.

They just show up, and everybody knows.

The good news is that building up that “inner game” is pretty easy. You just need to know HOW to practice, and be willing to spend the 5-10 minutes a day that will get you there.

To learn how, check this out:

Frame Control

Blast Away Approach Anxiety

How To Talk To Any Girl Without Fear Or Anxiety

How To Make Talking To Girls Easy

Here’s a quick set of mind tricks that will help you when you’re out talking to the ladies.

Whenever humans encounter a new situation that’s potentially beneficial, our brains quickly go through a couple of “scanning” processes.

The first thing is to imagine the “best case” scenario, and the next is to imagine the “worst case” scenario.

Then it calculates the likelihood of each happening, followed by the “strength” of each potential outcome.

I know this sounds like a LOT, but our brains are incredibly FAST.

Problem is they pay for that speed by not being very accurate.

So when your brain scans the past, it’s only going to grab a few of the “strongest” memories.

And since most guys have a LOT of memories of getting rejected by ladies, (real or imagined) your brain’s going to come back with a big fat DANGER signal.

THIS is where all that anxiety comes from.

How do you get rid of this anxiety?

Easy. Simply rewire your brain. 

How?

Two ways.

One is to take conscious control of your thoughts while out in the field. While you’re looking a girl you’d like to approach (based on IOI’s, flirting eye contact, etc.), literally FORCE your brain to think of positive memories with girls.

Think of the last time you had sex, or kissed a girl, or a girl looked at you in that special way.

And HOLD THAT thought while you’re walking over there and talking to her. This DOES take mental effort, but so long as you FORCE your brain to hold that thought, it will keep any fear from creeping in there. It’s not a “once and done” thought. It’s a “grab and hold” thought.

This may sound simple, but it is very, very difficult. If you’ve ever meditated, you know how difficult it is to force your brain to think of something simple, like a candle, or simple numbers from one to ten.

But your concentration is just like a muscle. The more you practice, the stronger it will get.

The SECOND way is to actually go out and CREATE positive responses from women.

This means walking up (or close to her) getting her to smile, and then leaving.

You need to build up a huge memory bank of experiences in your mind with YOU leaving a girl who WANTED YOU TO STAY.

Now, this may seem easy, but it’s VERY difficult. As soon as you get a nice smile, your caveman brain will be SCREAMING at you to go and talk to her. To hang out and hope for some good stuff.

In order for this to work, you’ve got to NOT do that.

If you do practice these two mental tricks regularly, you’ll be amazed how fast that approach anxiety vanishes.

Even more if you put this in the mix:

Frame Control