Category Archives: Attraction

How To Become A Natural

Get Better Every Day

Get Better Every Day

One of the most powerful ways to rapidly improve your game, whatever that means to you, is daily journaling.

Now, this isn’t a quick fix, and won’t instantly give you massive amounts of confidence and number closing, but you will consistently improve your skills with this method.

It requires ten or fifteen minutes a day. First, you think of anything you did that particular day that had anything to do with women. Anything from any kind of potential eye contact to a kiss close.

The first thing you do is write down what happened. Be as objective as possible. Don’t write down any feelings or intentions or imaginary intentions of reasons for her behavior.

Write down what you did, and how she responded. Or what you didn’t do, and how she responded. This could be as simple as “I looked away when she made eye contact with me.”

Next is to write down what you wish you would have done. Like you wish you would have held eye contact longer, or you wish you would have said “hi,” or said something differently.

Next, you imagine the best case scenario of how she would have responded to what you wish you would have done. 

Finally, imagine that in your mind, with as much detail and emotions as possible. The thing you wish you would have done, and her best case response.

Play it through in your mind several times. See it from third person perspective (you watching you do it) and the first person perspective (you living through it).

The more you do this, the more you’ll program your brain it actually do the new behavior automatically and spontaneously. You won’t even have to think about it. You’ll just do it.

Granted, this will take some time. This is most definitely NOT a quick fix, or something you only need to do a few times.

This is like exercise. Nobody starts a jogging routine and only plans to do it for a couple of weeks until they get in shape, and then go back to the couch.

When people start an exercise program, they intend to keep at it for the rest of their lives.

Ideally, think of this exercise the same way. Start today, and do this every single day, for the rest of your life. 

This works especially well if you’re inside of a relationship. This works especially well in sales. In fact, this pretty much works in all areas of life!

If you started today, and picked one small behavior each and every day to “rewrite” and program into your brain, you would be a natural before long.

How To Set Boundaries That Are Respected

Set Love Boundaries

Assertive Communication

How do you know when you find the right woman?

She’ll be easy. No, not that! I mean you won’t have to “manage” her. Or put up with much nonsense.

Now, putting up with nonsense doesn’t mean she’s bad, it just means you’ve got a criteria mismatch.

Most people, when they get into relationships, have only the criteria that the other person likes them. Then they cross their fingers and hope for the best. Usually, this doesn’t work out so much.

I’m sure you know how important it is to set boundaries, right? How she responds to your boundaries will tell you if you’re really compatible or not.

Say one of your boundaries, for example, is not being late. If anybody shows up more than 20 minutes late, that’s something you simply do not want to put up with.

And say on your second date, she’s 30 minutes late. Now, most guys wouldn’t even say anything. But since you’re an advanced student of game, you know that it’s VERY IMPORTANT to set boundaries as early as possible.

So you may say something like, “I know this may sound strange, but I have a personal rule that I don’t wait for more than 20 minutes for any meeting.”

How she responds will tell you EVERYTHING.

If she acts like that’s a huge burden to deal with, that might be enough to cut this one lose.

On the other hand, if she’s NEVER more than 20 minutes late again, that means she might be a keeper.

Ideally, you want to know your boundaries. Then, you’ll need to express them calmly and rationally when they are crossed. And they WILL be crossed.

Then you’ll need to know how to respond based on how she responds.

Compatible couples who are truly into each other tend to respect each other’s boundaries without much fuss.

Those that don’t end up with lots of unexpressed anger or hurt feelings, which isn’t healthy for anybody.

Many people fall into the trap of “She should know what to do.” Maybe so, but thinking this will get you intro trouble.

Always assume it’s YOUR responsibility to set the boundaries, and make sure you respond when they are crossed. Never let anything slide.

After all, you don’t want to hook up with somebody who’s always disrespecting you, do you?

And you may have to be the one to carefully elicit her boundaries as well.

Why?

That will make you MUCH more attractive to her.

Since most guys never even come close to this level of “relationship game” you’ll be a shiny star in a sea of bumbling clowns.

How To Engineer The Ideal Relationship

Eyes Wide Open

Eyes Wide Open

Why do relationships tend to go south? Sure, most of us want an ideal relationship with the ideal person. And many people DO feel they’ve got something, in the beginning.

But then after the thrill is gone, and reality rears it’s ugly head, it’s pretty much over. Why does this happen, and more importantly, how can you keep it from happening?

Everybody loves free stuff, especially when it’s unexpected. Even more especially when it’s sexually and emotionally charged.

This is why those early days feels so good. You’re pushing her buttons, which is making her push your buttons, which makes you push her buttons, and on and on.

Since this happens unconsciously and automatically, it feels like you’ve finally discovered the alchemy of love.

Unfortunately, this “magic” is short lived. Because a large part of the feel-good-button-pushing is based on a feeling of “newness.” Once you start to expect the button-pushing, it starts to lose it’s self-generative effect.

Pretty soon you expect her to push your buttons, and she expects you to push hers. But since you’re both expecting the other person to “go first,” nobody does, and you start to wish things were the way they were before.

The way to keep this from happening is to plan for it to happen, and pre-frame against it.

How do you do that?

Establish what those buttons are, and have a deep, open, non-emotional conversation. Go into a relationship like you would a business partnership, at least in part.

Make a pact to not only understand what each buttons are, but to continue pushing them after the thrill is gone.

That way, you can recreate that thrill-feeling at will.

For example, imagine how cool it feels to get an unexpected massage from your girlfriend. But if you start expecting them, she’ll stop giving them.

But if you have a discussion about what you like, and what she likes, and some kind of consciously chosen exchange, she’ll keep giving you what you want, so long as you keep giving her what she wants.

Since you’re the man, you’ve got to go first. You’ve got to generate this “exchange.” You’ve got to lead her into this discussion.

There is one crucial thing that HAS TO happen in order for this to work.

You’ve got to go in, eyes open, and create this from the very beginning. Which means you’ve got to actually like her as a person, BEYOND any feelings of sexual or emotional satisfaction.

Which means you’ve got to have some solid, non-physical criteria before you even walk up to her for the first time.

If you don’t have this kind of criteria, get some.

Now, you don’t have to tell her any of this. Give her the gift of it “just happening.” Let her experience that feeling of romance.

Leave it up to you to engineer the perfect relationship with the perfect woman.

She’ll be glad you did.

Get Started:

Girlfriend Generator

The Best Woman Problem To Have

The Ideal Balance

The Perfect Balance

There’s a fantastic problem to have with women, and unfortunately, few guys will have it.

There’s a saying I’m sure you’ve heard: “Be careful what you wish for. You might get it.”

It’s also been said that there are two great tragedies in life.

Getting what you want, and not getting what you want.

If you spend your whole life chasing something, and never getting it, it sucks. Nothing feels worse than an unfulfilled dream.

Now, most guys don’t have this, although they think they do. Meaning they really, really wish they could get a hot girl, but they never really do anything to get her. To them, this is their “dream.” But it’s not really a dream any more than playing the lotto is a solid financial plan.

When they say not getting your dream is a tragedy, it assumes you’ve taken SERIOUS action toward getting it. When it comes to women, this doesn’t mean going to the club every Friday night and wishing really hard.

Nor does it mean sleeping with club girl after club girl and getting angry they don’t suddenly morph into your dream wife the next morning.

This means really living your life to the fullest, becoming and ultra alpha leader of men, meeting several high quality women, doing everything in your power to seduce them, and STILL coming up empty handed.

This, indeed, is a tragedy.

But it’s also highly unlikely.

But what about getting your dream? Why is that a tragedy?

Because once you get your dream, the chase ends. The self development ends. That positive expectation of an unfulfilled goal ends. The imagination of a better future ends.

This is why Alexander wept after he had no more lands to conquer. This is why many astronauts who walked on the moon has serious personal problems when they came back to Earth.

This is why when you meet your dream woman (or what you think is your dream woman at the time) TOO EARLY in life, it CAN present problems. Not always. 

To be sure, there are couples who met in high school, and realize that their relationship is VERY IMPORTANT, so they take the time to work on it. To BECOME each other’s dream partner.

But for most guys, they don’t really meet their dream girl (nor do many women meet their dream guy) that early in life. Sure, they tell themselves that. But in reality it’s their dream person AT THE TIME.

As they move through life and increase in social skills, earning skills, intra-personal skills, they realize that maybe, JUST MAYBE, they sold themselves short and develop a wandering eye.

Herein between the two tragedies of life lies the BEST PROBLEM to have.

When do you stop searching, and start finding?

After all, the more you search, the more skills you’ll develop, and the higher criteria you’ll demand, AND the more attractive you’ll be.

But there comes a point, when you must choose.

This, of course, is a very personal decision, and will differ from person to person.

But this is a VERY NICE “women problem” to have.

Positive Thinking To Kill Approach Anxiety

Positive Mental Practice To Make It Easy

Right Mental Practice

One problem many guys have at many levels of game is approach anxiety. Or closing anxiety. Or even talking about difficult emotional issues anxiety. 

On the flip side, the more easily you can do the scary stuff (and if you can’t admit to yourself that self generated, irrational fear is your BIGGEST enemy to success with women, then there’s not much you can do with technique) the more success you’ll have.

So, how do you deal with general game-anxiety?

Well, one method is to simply blast through your fears until they are gone. But this takes a lot of uncomfortable action. This takes a lot of time. 

You could drink plenty of alcohol, but then you might wake up in a dumpster somewhere without your shoes.

One way works pretty well. It doesn’t require a million dollars worth of therapy, and it doesn’t require drugs or booze.

The reason guys feel afraid is our brains are hard wired to be more sensitive to potential danger than potential pleasure.

Which means if you simply let your brain go wherever it goes, you’re going to naturally drift to worse case scenario thinking.

The solution then is to simply FORCE yourself to think of positive things. Now, “positive thinking” gets a bad rap as being new-agey or metaphysical. But if your force yourself to think positive WHILE you are taking positive action, it’s a match made in heaven.

For example, you see a girl across the room. She smiles at you, looks away, and then looks back. This is a pretty clear signal she wants you to approach. Your rational brain is telling you it’s OK to approach.

But as soon as you start getting ready to, your caveman brain starts screaming bloody murder.

In spite of all those positive signals she’s given you, your now scared witless.

However, you can cut off your caveman brain by IMMEDIATELY thinking positive thoughts.

What positive thoughts? Rainbow riding unicorns? Cute pink puppy dogs?

No silly. Think of the last time you were getting laid!

(If you’ve never been laid, think of your last kiss, or even your favorite porno.)

Seriously.

Before you even begin your approach, start fully imagining the last time you got some. FORCE your brain to focus on that thought while you start to get up to approach. FORCE your brain to keep that imagine in mind while you walk over. Even when you start the conversation, try and hold that image in mind.

(Just don’t tell her, OK?)

Now, this is MUCH HARDER (lol) than it seems.

The brain is so hard wired to think of danger, whenever you’re doing something unfamiliar, it’s like your caveman thinks you’ll DIE if you don’t think negative.

After all, thinking negative has kept humans alive since even before we were humans!

So you’ll have to build up your “positive thinking” muscle.

Just practice when you’re out “observing” girls. 

This will take time. Think of it as building up your “approach muscle.”

Here’s the BEST PART.

When you’re thinking positive (thinking about the last time you got some) while looking at her, you’ll generally be smiling and pretty happy.

She’ll think it’s because of HER, not your porno filled brain!

Now, you may need to fine tune your own experiences, how you express your “happiness,” but once you get it dialed in, you can kick approach anxiety to the curb, for good!

When Should You Not Isolate?

Are You Meeting Girls Or Hunting Zebras?

How To Not Get Played

Many guys and gurus will tell you that you should always isolate your target. Meaning if you are in some club or other public place where girls and guys are all hanging out secretly hoping to meet each other, you’ll need to separate her from her friends.

Now, on a basic level, this sounds pretty predatory. This sounds like something lions will do when hunting zebras. They find a weak zebra that’s kind of separated from the pack, making it easier to hunt. If they zoom in on some big fat zebra surrounded by big, tough looking zebras, the tough looking zebras will kick the crap out of the lion.

However, when you’re out meeting girls, you’re hopefully trying to build a relationship, even if it’s short term, based on a mutual desire. So the “separate from the pack” idea is kind of off base.

Sure, it’s a lot easier to “pick up” a girl if she doesn’t have her girlfriends hanging out. Certainly, even if she IS interested in you, her girlfriends will be jealous and would rather her NOT meet anybody, if only to make themselves feel better.

And there certainly ARE many girls who enjoy being chased, without necessarily liking the guy who’s chasing them enough to allow themselves to “be caught.”

In a sense, separating her from her pack of friends makes it easier for both of you, and it can serve as a valuable test. Meaning if she’s flirting with you and sending you very positive signals, including kino, but she absolutely refuses to be separated from her friends, then she may indeed be running some game on you just to get the attention.

This is what makes “nightclub game” so difficult. Many girls go to places like that for attention, and purposely NOT to hook up some guy.

How can you tell the difference? One way is to simply number close her in front of her friends. Don’t try isolate.

Just tell her you think she’s cute, you think that she’s got a decent personality, and you’d like to get to know her better, but you don’t want to ruin “girls night out.” This will force her to show, through her actions, whether she’s really into you or just playing you for your attention.

It will also demonstrate your confidence, as most guys would be terrified to close in any way in front of all her friends, who are watching you (and secretly hoping you go down in flames, as it will make them feel better).

Will this always work? You won’t usually get a number this way, but the numbers you DO get will generally be pretty solid.

You’ve shown a lot of confidence. She’s given you her number in front of her friends, so chances are she’s not blowing you off.

Of course, to make it easy, you really have to NOT CARE if she gives you her number or not. Which means it’s a good idea it always be talking to cute girls, whenever you have a chance.

How To Build Relationships That Don’t Crash And Burn

Be Careful Who You Choose

Slow Down!

Once there was a kid who was studying the difference between theory and reality. So he asked his dad what the difference was. His dad told him they’d do an experiment.

First, they asked the Mom if she’d sleep with the mailman for ten million dollars. At first she was a bit put off, but then when she realized how close they were to being bankrupt, she said she’d probably do it.

Then they asked the kid’s older sister (a college student) the same question, only about the video game geek who lived next door. Again, she hesitated, but gave the same answer.

“You see,” said the dad. “That’s the difference between theory and reality. In theory, we’re a couple of millionaires, but in reality, we live with a couple of sluts!”

Yuck Yuck.

The difference between theory and reality when meeting girls (not sluts) for long term relationships is basically the same. In theory, it’s pretty easy. Choose the kind of girl you want, figure out a way to sort for those characteristics, and keep meeting girls until you find her.

In reality, it’s pretty tough. Especially when sex gets involved. Men are hard wired to hang on to any warm body that they are having regular sex with.

Even if you have rock solid criteria, once you start getting physical, it’s hard to stick to your criteria. Those emotional feelings that come with sex are so powerful it’s hard to resist.

It’s like your inner caveman is a master hypnotist who convinces you she’s the perfect girl you’ve been looking for all along.

Which is why I’d recommend NOT sleeping with any girl unless you are pretty certain she ALREADY passes a lot of your criteria.

Which means you’ve got to HAVE some criteria.

Now, what those are is up to you, but you should at least come up with some basics. College or no college, politics, religion, how she feels on certain issues.

Remember, any girl you get down with is going to feel good. But once those good feelings vanish, if the both of you don’t have a good reason to stick around, you won’t.

This is why relationships can crash and burn even when they started so hot and heavy.

So do yourself a favor. Take some time, before you go out again, to figure out what kind of characteristics you’d like in your “dream girl.”

Not only will this make it less likely to get burned, but it will also give you a lot more confidence.

Since you won’t be hoping to be accepted by every hottie you see. You’ll have the  mind of a sorter, instead of a beggar. Which will make you much more attractive.

Get Started:

Girlfriend Generator

How To Get Flake Proof Numbers

Get Flake Proof Numbers

Always Be Testing

One very crucial skill to have when meeting girls for potential relationships is to test their attraction. Most guys blaze full speed ahead, not really knowing one way or the other.

This tends to get a lot of false positives. Meaning he’s over there chatting her up, she’s not really interested, and he doesn’t really notice. So he number closes, and she gives him the number just to get rid of him. Then he thinks he’s succeeded, but in reality he’s got a very low probability candidate. He calls her, she blows him off, and he gets angry and vents online about how all women are flakes and not to be trusted.

Sound familiar?

All this can be avoided with some simple testing. That way, you KNOW she’s interested in you before you ask for the number. Now, some people say that asking for her number is the ultimate test, but this will get you a lot of false numbers. It’s WAY too easy to simply give a guy a number and then later blow him off, or string him along. 

Now, most guys don’t get this, but when a girl strings a guy along, she’s really just not assertive enough to say no. She’s hoping he’ll get the hint, but he thinks he’s still got a chance. This, of course, leads to further misunderstandings.

Anyhow, how do you test?

Many ways. Kino is one way. You simply touch her on an appropriate place, like the shoulder of forearm, and see how she responds. If she recoils in horror, or freezes, she’s not into you. If she opens up slightly, or even touches you back within a minute or so, that’s a pretty clear sign.

Another way is to close off rapport slightly, by switching from matching body language to mismatching body language. If she follows you, she’s into you. If she doesn’t, she’s not.

Another way is to take her to another location, within the same establishment. Like if she’s in a bookstore, take her over to show her your favorite photography book. If you’re in a club, take her to a different place. If she follows without hesitation, she’s into you. If she mentions her friends or anything, she’s probably not.

Now, if she’s not clearly into you, what you do next is up to you. You can back off and try to build more attraction, if you think you’re close. Or you can simply excuse yourself and go talk to somebody else.

But if you practice this, you’ll definitely start getting a much higher quality of phone numbers.

How To Build The Ideal Relationship With The Ideal Woman

The Three Essential Skills For Massive Seduction Success

Three Essential Skills

There’s two basic elements of game that pretty much every guy misses. Three if you’re intending on building a quality relationship with a quality girl.

The problem is that most guys prevent themselves from even admitting they are weak in these areas. Cognitive dissonance is something that keeps us from admitting less than positive things about ourselves to protect our ego.

So, assuming you fall into the category of most humans, you’ve got a couple choices. One is to protect your precious ego, and accept your current level of success with women.

The other is to suck it up, face your deficiencies, overcome them (which is super easy once you simply realize what they are) and then simply start getting better and better at getting better and better women.

Assuming that’s what you want, here are the deficiencies.

One is internal game. You’ve got to really, really believe that you are worthy of the girl that you are intending to catch. Meaning you have to believe based on OBJECTIVE data why YOU would be a good catch. Not the silly notion that every guy deserves a hot girl just because.

This means having rock solid, REAL self confidence. Rock solid, REAL social skills. True comfort in your own skin. The ability and natural confidence to start a conversation with anybody, anywhere.

The second is being able to notice signals. The idea you can walk up to a any girl and spit out some goofy lines and seduce her is ridiculous. It’s possible, sure, but so is winning the lotto. Anybody who’s business plan’s winning the lotto is going to be hanging out with empty bottles of Night Train.

Which means you need to only “hit on” girls that have sent you a signal that they WANT to be hit on. If you don’t see those signals, you’ll be hitting on girls who want nothing to do with you.

Solve these two problems, and you’ll get laid a lot.

However, if you want a rock solid relationship, you’ll need something else.

And that is criteria. Meaning you have to know what you want in a serious relationship. And this goes beyond silly romantic notions like “loyalty,” or “she won’t cheat on me,” or the ultra popular, “she’s gotta be hot!”

Those things are RESULTS of having a lot in common with her. If you and her have a lot in common, you’re emotionally open, and you’re committed to WORK on the relationship (which goes beyond just receiving the benefits most guys are after) then she’ll never WANT to leave you.

This means having high standards, that are SUBJECTIVE. Religion, politics, financial beliefs, financial background.

This is stuff you MUST sort for if you want a positive relationship with a “quality woman.”

If you’re ready, then check this out:

Girlfriend Generator

How To Appreciate Girls Without Getting In Trouble

Stop Judging Yourself

Ditch The Self Judgment

Most guys are terrified of openly expressing their interest in a woman.

They’re afraid they’ll get rejected, or worse, there’re afraid they’ll be labeled as a “creep” or a “pervert” as if they are doing something wrong.

But consider this. Sexual desire is the most natural thing there is, assuming everybody is age appropriate.

If men never expressed their sexual desires, humans wouldn’t exist.

You may even say that the whole of society is a manifestation of man’s sexual desire.

But, you say, I checked that girl out the other day and she caught me, and gave me a dirty look!

Consider this. When you think of doing the nasty with a hot girl you see, it likely makes you FEEL dirty before she even sees you. Maybe because all of your experiences are the same. Maybe because when you were a kid your mom or your kindergarten teacher found you playing with your little guy and gave you a creepy look. But that wasn’t because it was inherently bad, it’s just that grownups DON’T feel comfortable talking about that stuff with kids.

It’s like one of those chicken and egg questions. What came first? Pure, honest, sexual desire, or the feeling of creepiness surround pure sexual desire?

I suggest that pure sexual desire (age appropriate, of course) is PERFECTLY NATURAL. It’s just because most people suck at expressing it that everybody THINKS it’s creepy.

But it’s not.

In a sense, when you’re checking out a girl, you’re already judging yourself as creepy or a pervert before she even takes a look.

Which means she’s not judging you as a creep because you were checking her out, she was judging you a creep because YOU judged YOURSELF a creep.

Most guys know that women want a guy who’ll lead. But what if they automatically follow a guy as their default setting?

Which means HOWEVER YOU JUDGE YOURSELF is how she is going to judge you. Not just her, but society in general.

Which is fantastic news.

Because all you’ve got to do is STOP JUDGING YOURSELF and so will she.

If you accept your sexual desire as normal, natural, and crucially, necessary for the survival of the human race, so will she.

Which means when you express your appreciation for her, even if it’s purely sexual, she will LOVE IT.

Now, this of course means you’ve got to have a healthy desire to find out about her personality, and whether or not she’s a match.

Because the bottom line truth is that most women (simply by the law of statistics) WILL NOT be a match.

But that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy looking.

Not just looking, but appreciating.

So next time you’re out checking out the ladies, try this out.

Think these words in your mind:

“I like looking at you. You are VERY attractive. I get good feelings when I look at you. And when I’m looking at you, I’m imagining that we are PERFECT for each other and can make each other VERY HAPPY. I would LOVE to meet you to see if that’s true or not.”

Try that, and see what happens.