Category Archives: Congruence

How To Sort For Your Dream Girl

You're Number One!

Why Settle For Second Best?

It’s easy to miss the forest for the trees, when it comes to meeting girls and looking for Miss Right.

(Or Miss Right Now if that’s your thing.)

Long time ago I went skydiving. It was the kind that required only about five minutes of instruction before jumping out of the plane.

We had an experienced jumper strapped to our backs, which would kind of hold our hand. We got to pull the chute, but in case we blacked out or puked, he’d be there to make sure we didn’t die.

One thing the guy told me right before we jumped has stuck in my mind, as it’s very useful in many different areas.

“Don’t look at a point on the ground. You’ll fixate on it and miss everything.”

What he meant was that we were only free falling for about a minute. And if we looked way down below, and saw a house or a car or something, we’d tend to stare at it. If that happened, our ride would be over and we would have missed it.

I followed his advice and didn’t look down at all. Just out onto the horizon.

(One of the most amazing experiences of my life.)

When you’re talking to girls (or prospecting as they say in sales) it’s easy to “fixate” on one girl.

There’s a whole world of girls out there, but once you start talking to one, and she seems to like you a bit, it’s very easy to lose the big picture.

Then suddenly she’s turned from a “prospect” into the only game in town. Sink or swim. Win or lose. Live or die.

If this happens, it’s almost guaranteed you WON’T get her, unless she’s TOTALLY into you.

One thing that turns both girls AND guys off is desperation.

Texting too much, calling too much, hanging onto conversations too much.

If she’s got a medium level of attraction, this will kill it in a hurry.

Sure, there’s certain “rules,” like only text three times a week, or only call every other day, or whatever.

But if she’s your ONLY option, these rules are impossible to follow. You’ll drive yourself nuts.

The EASIEST way to make sure you don’t switch in to desperation mode is to ALWAYS BE PROSPECTING.

Meaning you should always be talking to girls, making them laugh, seeing if they’re personalities are as attractive as their faces.

And always dating them if you’re into each other enough.

AND always being open about it.

One criteria that you MUST have is that she should be into you AT LEAST as much as you are into her.

And when you’re going out with several girls, and one of them starts pressuring you for exclusivity, then it’s time to consider her.

But never before that.

This will make you more attractive, and give you much more choice, which will keep you out of the desperation mind set.

These Tools Will  Help:

mindpersuasion.com

Two Crucial Aspects Of Life

Inner Game Is Key To Everything

Inner Game vs. Outer Game

There’s always two aspects to everything.

Of course, many things  have many variables, all interdependent, and many that are way beyond conscious comprehension.

But for most things, they can be broke down into a couple of broad categories.

Like movies. Guy movies (action, aliens, horror, zombies) vs. girl movies (romance, drama, etc.)

Or if you’re talking about booze, there’s beer and wine, and then the hard stuff.

If you’re making a cake, there’s the baking part, and then the decorating part.

In music there’s tension, and release.

Human accomplishment is something that is both incredibly complicated, and also incredibly simple, based on how you look at it.

Take making more money, for example. On the outside, there’s a virtual limitless amount of skills you can learn, relationships you can build, products you can help create, sell and otherwise bring to the market.

On the inside, there’s the simple belief that no matter what happens, you’ll succeed.

Outside is filled with endless and ever changing variables.

Inside is either the worry of, “I don’t know if this will work..” vs. the thought of “Yep. I got this. No matter what.”

Once the inside is taken care of, the outside takes care of itself.

This is true no matter what field you look in. Sports, money, romance, business, building your own cult, anything.

The most fundamental component that ALL successful people have is the raw belief that they’ll be successful.

BEFORE they become successful.

Before Bill Gates became a multi-kajillionaire, he believed he could.

Before Alexander conquered much of the known world, he believed that he could.

Before you succeed at anything, you must believe that you will.

And once you believe you wil, you will.

So why limit yourself?

Why not set HUGE goals, HUGE dreams, HUGE plans for your life?

Choose whatever you want, and then set the belief.

Because once that belief is set on the inside, all that stuff on the outside will be easy.

Learn How:

Belief Change

Are You Plagued By Hallucinations?

Create Your Own Custom Hallucinations

Why Not Hallucinate What You Want?

I used to love those 3D pictures, the kind that looked like noise at first.

Then if you stare at them the right way, a cool image appears, suddenly out of nowhere.

Some people are better at “getting it” than others. It usually took me a while.

Most of us aren’t used to looking at a flat object as if it were in three dimensions.

There’s plenty of other images that are specifically designed to “trick” the mind.

Old ladies that suddenly morph into young girls, a lamp that suddenly turns into two people about to kiss, stairs that go up in a loop, but really don’t go up at all.

One of the biggest tricks of the mind is one we play on ourselves.

We can “negatively hallucinate” something, meaning it’s right in front of us, but we can’t see it.

(Guys are particularly good at this, especially when looking for our keys).

Or we can think something is there, when there’s not. Like when somebody looks at us with a plain expression on their face, and we read WAY too much into the situation.

The trouble is that we respond not to reality itself, but our interpretation of reality.

Even if our keys are right there, since we can’t see them, we’ll keep looking, and end up being late to wherever we’re going.

We could have talked to that person, and turned their genuine neutral feelings about us into something positive, but since we imagined they were angry or judgmental or whatever, we never even held eye contact for more than a split second.

The good news it that our perception of reality is TOTALLY flexible, AND it’s TOTALLY up to us.

Do you think our keys really care if we find them or not?

Even better, that neutral person would LOVE for us to turn them into a “positive-feelings” person, so they’re actually hoping we’ll perceive them differently than we have been.

This skill is rarely talked about, let alone taught, but it exists, and learning it is perhaps the most important thing you can do.

Since there’s so much “stuff’ out there to choose from, why not choose things that support you?

Why not “imagine” people are dying for you to talk to them?

Why not “imagine” that opportunities are everywhere, just waiting to scoop them up?

Why not “imagine” that your biggest and most compelling plans in life are not only easy, but the whole reason you were put here?

All you’ve got to do is shift your mind, and you’ll see.

Learn How:

Belief Change

Mind Tricks For Massive Confidence With Girls

How To Shift From Anxiety To Confidence In No Time

Flip Your Mental Switch

Here’s a great trick that will quickly boost your confidence.

You go somewhere where there’s plenty of cute girls to flirt with.

Someplace where people are out walking around is best. When you see a cutie coming your way, make eye contact and smile at her like she’s a friend. Like you know her.

While you are doing this, purposely remember a fun time you actually had with a cute girl. Nothing physical, just a fun conversation with a friend from school or work or something.

Nine times out of ten, she’ll smile back.  Even do a few double takes when you pass each other.

This is the perfect “energy” to have when out in public.

Most guys like girls, but they don’t know how to meet girls. For most guys, meeting girls just happens. Which means it always feels out of control.

And most guys like sex, but don’t get nearly as much as they want (if any lol).

You combine these two feelings, and whenever they see a cute girl they’d LIKE to get with, it brings up all kinds of negative feelings. Lack, being out of control, feeling alone, left behind, etc.

And sometimes these feelings morph into anger at the girl.

This is a natural human trait. We want something, and we can’t get it, so we blame the world. In this case the girl.

Now, it’s pretty obvious what will happen with this mindset. You’ll be looking at a girl with a mixture of lust, frustration, desperation and perhaps even a tinge of anger.

Not the kind of energy she’s looking for in a guy.

This, of course, will make it much harder to meet girls, which will increase those feelings. And this is a very hard trap to get out of.

So you’ve got to prime the pump, so to speak.

Hence the exercise described above.

The trick is to FORCE your brain to think of a happy, carefree spontaneous conversation you had with  a girl, no matter how long ago.

Then FORCE your brain to “pretend” the girl you’re looking at is an old friend. 

These two thoughts combined will get rid of those negative feelings and emotions long enough for her to notice your energy, and flash you an honest smile.

And when a cute girl flashes you an honest smile, and holds it, and even does a double take, it feels pretty good.

Try this out whenever you’re in a funk. Try and get five to ten good, honest smiles before talking to anybody.

It will not only put you in a good mood, but it will turn that negative self sustaining loop into a positive one.

Learn More Mind Tricks:

mindpersuasion.com

Take Your Brain on a Shopping Spree

Grab Whatever You Want

Take Anything You Want

Here’s a fun mind experiment.

You are at your favorite shopping mall. (Or department store, or supermarket or whatever).

You’ve got a shopping cart, and five minutes.

You can go to any store, and grab anything you want, and put it in your basket, for free.

No limitations.

What would you grab? Assuming you can’t sell anything, so you don’t just grab the most expensive stuff, what would you get?

This is a fun experiment to play with your friends, just to see what kinds of things they value.

But it’s also a good metaphor for the way we look at the world.

How so?

Our senses are being hit with millions of bits of information per second, but our conscious minds only handle a small fraction. Less than a hundred bits.

The stuff that’s important to us, like our names, money on the ground, a tiger that just escaped from the zoo, that stuff gets front row seats in our conscious minds.

The rest?

Straight into long term storage, most likely to never been seen again.

What kinds of things?

Those attractive people who are checking you out.

Those people that would be perfect for you to talk to and get some traction behind that idea of yours.

That bookstore or magazine stand that’s got the book or article that might send your career into a completely different direction, allowing you to make more money than you ever thought possible.

The trouble is that most of us never notice ANY of those things.

But it’s easy to “fine-tune” your mind, to see whatever you want to see.

Even better, you can create any set of ideas or beliefs you want, and train your mind to see PROOF of whatever you want.

Most people say they’ll believe it when they see it.

But as I’m sure you know, you’ve got to believe it FIRST, then you’ll start seeing it.

Granted, it’s not quick. It’s not as simple as mumbling some magic phrases.

But it is very easy. And it only takes a few minutes a day of private mental practice.

What would YOU like to believe?

The world really IS like that imaginary shopping mall with all the stuff.

You really CAN grab whatever you want.

Tune your brain, and it’s yours for the taking.

Learn How:

Belief Change

Stop Making Childish Excuses!

Get Out There And Get In The Mix!

Put On Your Big Boy Pants

It doesn’t take much effort find so called “game experts” bemoaning the state of male-female relationships these days.

If you dig beneath the surface, what many of these “gurus” are really teaching is a very complicated philosophical “proof” that is based on the oldest excuse in the book.

“It’s Not My Fault.”

Now, this is a very touchy subject. On the one hand, very few people had ideal childhoods. And it’s no secret that something as emotionally deep and powerful as male-female relationships is HIGHLY dependent on how well you were “raised” in this regard.

To be certain, those things that happened to you as a kid were absolutely NOT your fault.

But that’s not what I’m talking about.

I’m talking about guys who claim they can’t get laid, or find the ideal woman, or find WHATEVER they want, because of a variation of an age old argument that will simply not die.

“The World Is Broken.”

If you were to develop some invisible time machine that had a universal translator so you could travel around and listen in on various people belly aching about pretty much ANY kind of “lack,” you’d hear the same argument.

“It was much better in the good old days.”

“This generation has gotten a raw deal.”

“There just aren’t any X out there. I’ve looked.”

X can be jobs, girls, plots of land to build a cabin, places to prospect for gold, rocks to throw at zebras, you name it.

Why is this argument so popular?

Because it’s incredibly easy.

It takes no risk. It takes little mental effort. It’s very common so you’ll always have good company (misery loves company, eh?)

AND it protects you from taking risks, failing, or doing ANYTHING uncomfortable.

But guess what?

When it comes to girls, WHATEVER you want, you can get.

So long as you are willing to do what it takes to get it.

The strategy is simple.

Choose your criteria. Looks, personality, belief, religion, family background, etc.

Then simply start sorting.

AND realize that your dream girl must be attracted to you as much as you’ll be attracted to her.

Many guys miss this obvious point.

They think any kind of “work” they do is not dependent on her subjective desires.

Your job is to NOT ONLY find a girl who meets your criteria, but to meet a girl that thinks YOU meet HER criteria.

This, unquestionably, is a LOT of work.

And it’s understandable if you don’t want to put in that much work.

Just don’t kid yourself.

Don’t say, “The market sucks.” Or “There aren’t any quality women.”

At least do yourself the courtesy of telling yourself the truth:

“I probably could find my dream girl, but I’m too scared, and I’m too lazy.”

But if you really DO want to find her, (and you should because the benefits are better than ANYTHING on planet Earth), then get busy.

This Will Help:

mindpersuasion.com

How To Get A Bigger Brain

Get A Better Perspective

Expand Your Picture Of Reality

One of the cool tricks you learn in NLP is “going meta.”

This just means looking at something from a larger perspective.

Looking at the big picture, stepping back, etc.

For example, if you’ve ever been to a live training, you’ve probably done this while speaking to somebody. Choose a partner and start talking about something not so important.

Then see the conversation from their eyes, and back from your eyes.

Then see the conversation from an imaginary, third person perspective, off to the side.

This gets pretty complicated, and it’s hard to keep even the simplest conversation going when flipping around like this.

It is, however, a very important skill to learn. For example, whenever making a big decision, it’s tough to separate from your emotions.

Which means if you CAN do that, you’ll have a much better chance of choosing an option that will serve you best, in the long run.

Another great skill to have is to “go meta” regarding your capabilities.

For example, when many people go into new environments, especially social environments where there’s some pretty good potential, it’s very common to feel nervous or anxious.

The brain looks out into the situation, and quickly notices two things. One is that there are many interesting people, with many potential benefits.

On the other hand, ALL of them are strangers.

This mix can easily cause anxiety.

On the one hand, part of you is saying “Let’s Go!” and is eager to get the good stuff.

On the other hand, another part of you is saying, “Hold on! We don’t know any of these people!”

Which is why being able to “go meta” is very helpful.

Sure, they are strangers, but they are also people, in the larger sense.

So when you’ve got your brain thinking “Let’s Go!” And “Hey, People! We’ve talked to people before!”

It will give you a lot more confidence and enthusiasm.

The trick is to train your brain so you “go meta” automatically, instead of having to do it consciously.

All you’ve got to do is learn how to build in the beliefs you want, rather than rely on your “factory programmed” beliefs.

How do you do that?

Here’s How:

Belief Change

How To Benefit From Einstein’s Error

Einstein Was Wrong Quite A Lot

Copy The Smartest Guys On Earth

If it rains, is that a good thing or a bad thing?

If you’re intending to play baseball, maybe not so good.

If you’re growing crops, then it’s probably a good thing.

If you apply for a job and don’t get it, is that a good thing, or a bad thing?

Bad thing if the company takes off and everybody gets rich off the stock options.

Good thing if the company sucks and they end up laying everybody off.

The bottom line about pretty much anything is that the meaning is not only open to interpretation, but many people will have different interpretations.

And they’ll all be right.

Even though the world exists with or without us, how we perceive it, and how we perceive ourselves is always open to interpretation.

This is pretty good because all you’ve got to do is try on different interpretations, and see which one works best.

One of the most mind boggling advances if physics happened just like this.

In the early 1900’s a bunch of the smartest guys on Earth (Einstein and friends) were sitting around trying to figure out this phenomenon called “Black Body Radiation.”

They kept watching what was happening, and then describe it mathematically and they kept getting it wrong.

Even Einstein.

Then this guy Max Plank (in his twenties) had an “out of the box” idea, and quantum physics was born.

Luckily, we can apply that very same model. Just keep trying different “stories” of what’s going on, until you find one that fits.

The good news is that you can do this on stuff that’s happening right now, around you, and you can also do this with stuff that’s already happened.

All you’ve got to do is choose something you’d like to be true (like “making money is easy,” or “talking to super sexy people is easy,” or “giving persuasive speeches in front of hundreds of people is easy”) and find evidence of this in your history to support it.

And it will be true.

Truth is there’s billions of stuff going on around you AND there’s billions of stuff that happened to you already.

All you’ve got to do is choose something you’d like to be true, and then find evidence to support it.

No physics required.

Learn more:

Belief

How To Meet Your Ideal Girlfriend

Get Her To Fall In Love With You

Step By Step To Love

How do you get a girl to like you?

Many guys struggle with this. If this is you, then you may not like you’re about to read.

To be sure, there’s plenty of courses and trainings and seminars that teach certain step by step behaviors and language patterns to get into her goods.

And to an extent, these work pretty well, especially if you’re only looking for short term flings.

But if you’re really into a girl, and you think she may be “The One,” then those “tricks” might backfire.

To make this easier to understand, we’ll use the metaphor of food, rather than seduction. It works the same way, as in it’s not a choice, and when it happens it happens. And when somebody gets REALLY hungry, especially for a certain food, there’s not much that will stop them from satisfying that hunger.

So let’s say you’ve got this potential customer. You’ve got to get them hungry, so they’ll buy what you’ve got.

But since you’ve only got certain ingredients, you can’t really cook ANYTHING. If you’re a bakery, for example, and all they want is deep fried pizza, there’s not much you can do.

Anyhow, there ARE a lot of “tricks” you can do to entice people’s hunger for bread. Offer discounts. Make sure your bread smells really good when people get close to your store. Put up a picture of the mayor in your shop.

And if you use enough of these tricks, you’ll get enough customers to come into your shop to buy bread.

One thing that WON’T work is if you explain to people consciously why they should eat bread.

Another that wouldn’t work is if you tell him how desperate you are for their business. Or how happy you’ll be if you buy their bread.

The ONLY thing that will work is if you get them hungry for bread.

Which means it’s got to be THEIR decision, based on THEIR unconscious desires. Try as you may, you simply CAN NOT use conscious ideas and logic to trigger somebody’s UNCONCIOUS desires.

That’s why plenty of adverts don’t make any conscious sense, but they work like gangbusters to sell products.

Here’s something else to consider. Supposing they do fall for your marketing tricks (authority, social proof, good smelling bread, testimonials from famous people etc.) guess what’s going to happen if they get your bread home and find out that your bread tastes like crap?

That’s right, they won’t buy any more of your bread.

Can you see how this works with females?

You can ask her or beg her or trick her to like you. 

But won’t unless the following happens:

She Must Be Attracted To You For Reasons She Can’t Explain Logically

How do you do this?

Well, I hate to say this, but you’ve got to be as attractive AND authentic as you can.

Meaning put aside the tricks or language manipulation. Build up your self confidence, social skills, frame control, and your belief in your ability to create and live a magnificent life.

Be yourself, but transform yourself into your very BEST self. For real. For life.

Then interact with as many girls as you can.

Essential Mind Tools:

mindpersuasion.com

Do You Depend On Imaginary Forces?

Stop Doing This

Take Responsibility

Most of us have common fears and desires.

We’d like more money than we’ve got, and we’d like our relationships to be a little bit better.

Most of us would like to lose a few pounds, and maybe move to a nicer place.

It’s also pretty common to think of these as “out of our control.”

I remember a long time ago I was watching a post game interview of a baseball player whose team had just been eliminated from the playoffs.

What struck me was the lack of responsibility in his language. The words and phrases he was using suggested there was some larger force that kept them from winning.

Now, most professional players don’t talk like this. When they give post game interviews after big losses, they say things like, “WE couldn’t get any hits,” or “WE had trouble getting on the board,” or “OUR defense just fell apart.”

One of the things you’ll learn if you study hypnosis is the things people are hiding underneath their speech. 

Even simple things, like meeting people, can be made to sound out of our control.

For example, when heading out socially, we say things like, “I hope I meet somebody tonight.”

But when you think about it, meeting somebody is TOTALLY under your control. You see somebody interesting, you walk up, you introduce yourself, and you exchange names.

Think about if you talked about eating like this.

“I hope I can find some food.”

Maybe if you live in a cave and you’re going out with your bow and arrow, but not if you live in a modern (or even semi-modern) world with fast food and convenience stores everywhere.

Why are some things easy, and some things hard?

Is meeting people (or getting a better job or making more money) really any different than buying some food?

You want something, and you’ve got to interact with others to get it.

The only real difference is the meaning we put on things.

It’s our perceptions that make them seem difficult, not the things themselves.

Once you change your inner filters and windows through which you interpret the world, it will seem a lot easier.

Learn How:

Belief