Category Archives: Congruence

How To Rediscover Your Inner Genius

It's Still Inside You

Re-Discover Your Abilities

When you were very young, you knew the secret of success.

You knew how to put your mind on a target and then do whatever it took to get there.

For most of us, that built in strategy is “programmed out” of us as we grow older.

Nothing sinister, nothing intentional. It’s just the way things kind of happen.

Generally speaking, people that become super rich have less of that genius strategy programmed out. They retain enough to keep setting their sites on bigger and better goals as they go through life.

There comes a point in most people’s lives where our biggest dreams turn into things that we wish would happen on the one hand, but are too scared to try to get on the other hand.

We kid ourselves with all kinds of self delusions about why we can’t. We come up with all kinds of creative excuses that keep us “stuck.”

But the truth is that genius strategy still exists within you. Which means that if you start to consciously ask “as if” it will come out, it will.

Now, I’m not talking about any big huge behaviors. Not the standard “fake it until you make it” lip service gurus love to spit out.

I’m talking about making teeny tiny micro changes in your day to day behavior.

Simply because they will be congruent with your deeply programmed strategies, they will come out.

Just like being a little kid, and swinging your legs at the right frequency on the swing will get you some pretty big movements, so with your inner strategy.

You’ll slowly be building up a powerful self-sustaining cycle of success, where the energy you get out is much more than you put in.

This is the secret of all prosperity. People, nations, planets.

There comes a seemingly magical “tipping point” when the “system” is kind of humming along on its own, and just takes a wee bit of input juice for a MASSIVE output stream.

And because that strategy IS deep within you, even the smallest and easiest changes in your behavior that are congruent with this deep strategy will seem familiar, natural, and simple.

Because anytime you HAVE achieved any success, of any measure, you’ve proven that you HAVE that very strategy within you.

All it takes is to bring it up to the conscious level, see how it works, plug in what you want out of life, and then drop it back down into your subconscious.

And you’ll be on your way.

Get Started:

Prosperity Generator

Quickly Accelerate Your Social Confidence

From Zero To Social Hero

How To Build Social Momentum

Momentum is an incredible thing.

Once you get going, it’s a lot easier to keep going.

This is true for behavior as well as physical momentum, but for completely different reasons.

With physical momentum, you’re relying on Newton’s Second Law (bodies in motion tend to stay in motion). Once you get something going, all you need to do is put in enough energy in the system to overcome the natural resistance, like friction, and you’re good.

If you reduce friction, you can coast for quite a while.

Similarly, when you’re doing some kind of behavior, it’s much, much easier to keep going, than it is to get going.

Especially if you’re doing something that involves uncertainty.

But unlike pure physics, the longer you’re going, the easier it gets.

Why?

Because one of the biggest anxieties when interacting with others is you never know what’s going to happen. Usually, when you do something the first time, (like ride a motorcycle or use a pogo stick) it’s kind of shaky the first couple of times. But once you get used to it, you can pretty much do it without thinking.

But talking to people isn’t like that. Every single time is different.

So the more you talk to people, the easier it gets for a couple of reasons. One is you’re have more experience with a wide diversity of people. For this reason, it’s crucial to talk to as many different people as you can. 

If you’re trying to build up your confidence in talking to a girl of a specific type, talking to regular people will help. It will build in your deep understanding that no matter WHO you talk to, most people have a LOT in common. So when you do see that girl, you’ll see her more a human than an imaginary perfect angel. 

The second reason it will keep getting easier, is you’ll build up your experience of handling uncertainty.

Sure, it’s never going to be completely comfortable doing things where you don’t know what’s going to happen.

But the more you can prove to yourself that you can handle any conversation with anybody, no matter what happens, the fact that you DON’T know what’s going to happen will bother you less and less.

So if you want to get better at talking to gorgeous girls, talk to people. All people. Everywhere. Start slow and work your way up.

Anytime you see an opportunity, exchange a few words, and see what happens.

It will make MANY THINGS in life much, much easier.

Not just girls.

How To Radiate Confidence and Attraction

Don't Make This Mistake

Ditch The Nice Guy Routine

One of the most attractive things in a person is congruence. If you want to do better with the ladies, all you’ve got to do is increase your congruence.

What is congruence? Basically it means being your true, honest self. Now, this doesn’t mean blurting out whatever comes to your mind. But it does mean not hiding your emotions, intentions and desires.

Many guys, when talking to girls, tend to hold back. They’re afraid of rejection, afraid of offending her and ruining their chances, or maybe even saying something silly.

So they pretend to be somebody they’re nice. Many guys go too far in the opposite direction. They’re so worried about offending her, that they become overly nice. This is the stereotypical “nice guy” that girls don’t like. In fact, they despise them.

Not because they are mean, or they’d rather date some biker who just escaped from prison. It’s because they don’t trust him. Maybe consciously he seems OK. But on a subconscious level, he’s sending some creepy vibe. Some vibe that says “I’d really like to have sex with you but I’m pretending really hard that I just want to be your friend.”

Sex is natural, normal and healthy. Sexual desire is natural, normal and healthy.

Yea, but what about that time you were checking a girl and she gave you a dirty look?

She gave you a dirty look not because you were checking her out, but because you were checking her out while feeling like you were doing something wrong. You judged yourself before she got a chance to. Since you yourself felt you were doing something wrong, so did she.

That’s why some guys can seemingly get away with murder. They talk raunchy, tell dirty jokes, and have no problem talking about sexual topics.

Since they accept these as normal things, so does she.

She’d LOVE IT if you talked to her like you talk to your buddies. Relaxed, confident, playfully teasing her, and generally  having a good tie.

So, back to that hard to define word, “congruence.”

Simply accept your desires. Don’t be afraid to look at girls, and let them know through your eye contact and self confidence that you like what you see.

Do this, and you’ll be miles ahead of all the other clowns out there.

Make Them Go Crazy For You

All Energy in One Place

Secrets Of Linguistic Congruence

One of the most compelling traits somebody can have is congruence.

This is something you’ve no doubt heard of. But it’s also one of those vague words that’s pretty hard to pin down.

For example, if you were at some seminar listening to some guru speak, and he was going on and on about the importance of “congruence,” everybody would be nodding their heads in agreement.

Only problem is that just like politicians, spitting out some vague, nice sounding words is great, until you need to know exactly what’s being said.

So, what EXACTLY does congruence mean?

Technically, from a purely mathematical standpoint, it means “parallel” or “mirror image.”

On a personal, internal level, it means having all “parts” of you on the same page, or pointing in the same direction.

For example, if part of you wanted to go out, while another part of you wanted to stay home, you could say you were “incongruent” in your plans.

Politicians that say things to get elected, but don’t really believe are “incongruent” in their delivery.

Often times we believe something on one level, but not another. Which means we’re projecting an “incongruent” message without knowing it.

We think we are speaking some truth, but others suspect something’s up.

One way this can present itself is when we’re talking to others, and “pretending” that they are making a good point, or that we understand what they are saying, when we’re really not.

If this happens to us, it’s not a very good feeling. It almost feels as if like somebody’s being just a bit condescending, or they think we’re silly on some level.

The truth is that unless you’re talking to your best friend from kindergarten, with whom you’ve buried bodies and shared a prison cell, you’re going to be incongruent on some level.

This is precisely where ultra charismatic and magnetic people get their energy from. They don’t really HAVE any extra energy.

They’re just taking ALL their energy, and focusing it on whomever they’re speaking with. They can suspend disbelief, they ditch any ideas they have on the subject.

They make the person they are speaking with feel absolutely comfortable sharing their deepest secrets.

Because this is NOT some kind of trick or manipulation. This is genuine, honest, congruent focus on the other person.

Which means they FEEL THIS on a deep level.

And when you can take THEIR ideas, and wrap them in these language patterns, and give them back to them, they will feel even better.

If you want, they’ll follow you to the ends of the Earth.

Learn More:

Covert Hypnosis

Dramatically Increase Your Charisma

How To Ride Into Their Minds

Ride The Fluidity Of Truth

Sometimes we get a powerful insight simply by looking at things from a different angle.

Ever since the dawn of “civilization,” (a word based on “civil” that means people that behave according to rational thinking and plans, rather than hunter-gatherer instincts,) justice has always been an ideal.

In pretty much all societies, the idea of having a trial to get to the truth is essential.

Since everybody has a different view on what happened, it’s important to get as many different viewpoints as possible.

Ideally, an impartial group of people, or an impartial judge, will consider all the evidence, which is usually testimony from all the people involved, and come to a rational decision that’s fair.

The whole existence of such a system, that shows up in pretty much all cultures, is an indication that ONE person’s viewpoint is flawed. We always look out to the world through our own lens of biases, fears, subjective beliefs, and desires.

This happens in every single conversation we have with others.

We think we’re making our point perfectly clear, but the other person just doesn’t “get it.”

Of course, they likely think we’re nuts and aren’t making any sense, and we’re the ones who don’t “get it.”

Most people simply assume that their point of view is the RIGHT point of view, and everybody else is wrong.

Just realizing that everybody has their own “version” of the truth is going to put you WAY ahead of everybody else, in terms of communication effectiveness.

And if you take the time to actually listen to and understand what other people are saying, something pretty amazing will happen.

They will suddenly see you in a new light.

You won’t be like everybody else who is only imposing truth. You won’t be simply waiting for a hole in the conversation so you can give even more evidence of your “correct-ness.”

You’ll actually be listening to them, and getting them to talk about what’s important to them. The unmet needs they have. The desires they have.

And when they’re seeing you through the lens of their desires, needs etc, (not somebody who is withstanding their truth, but somebody who is actively seeking it) you will suddenly have a huge amount of charisma and personal magnetism.

This is quite an interesting shift, one that few people will ever experience.

That’s why using these language patterns are so powerful. They’ll let you slowly and carefully open them up, so they’ll eagerly share their truth with you.

And never forget you.

Learn How:

Covert Hypnosis

Find The Treasure All Around You

Treasure Is Everywhere

You’re So Money And You Don’t Even Know It

No matter what you want out of life, there is one thing that is absolutely required to get it.

If you don’t do this one thing, you have a very, vary strong chance of not getting anything close to what you want.

However, if you do this thing well, there’s really no limit to what you can get.

None at all.

Luckily,  this “thing” is something you already know how to do. So you don’t really need to learn anything. You don’t need to do anything out of the ordinary even.

You just need to do the same thing that people have been doing since before recorded history.

Maybe you can improve yourself in this area, but it’s not something new.

What’s the “thing”?

Interacting with others.

Yea, no big surprise, right?

Yet many people think they can get stuff without doing this. Many people imagine they can make their dreams come true all alone, or via some magical force that none know exist.

Sure, there are SOME people who can get SOME things without the help of others. But that’s usually people in movies who are stuck on islands.

And even then they can only get a few coconuts and maybe some fish.

But here’s the most crucial part.

When you interact with others, it’s always some kind of exchange.

Sure, when we’re little kids and live inside families, we just express our needs and they get fulfilled.

That’s the job of our parents. That’s the job they signed up for when they decided to have us.

But harsh as it may sound, out in the real world, where you interact with people you have NO blood relationship to, nobody owes you squat.

Which means nobody’s going to GIVE you anything.

Unless of course, YOU give THEM something in return.

Doesn’t have to be tangible. Doesn’t even have to be a big deal. A stranger gives you the time, and you give them a genuine smile and “thank you.” That’s an honest and mutually beneficial exchange. It makes both people better off. It makes both people happier.

No manipulation, no con jobs, no scams.

All interactions between adults are like this. Friends, lovers, co workers, bosses and subordinates.

How do you get better at this? So you can not only give more, but get more?

The secret is in understanding that people WANT a lot more than they’re saying. They want a lot more than they’re getting.

And you (yea, YOU), have a LOT more than you’ve giving. WAY more than you think.

By opening up yourself, and learning how to open up others, you can give more, and you can get more.

All the way from a simple smile for the time, to a huge pile of cash in exchange for your skills.

And it all starts with your communication.

Make It Better:

Covert Hypnosis

How To Hallucinate Your Friends

Language Patterns From Grammar School

Grammar Madness

One great way to get somebody to accept your ideas is to put them in imagination land.

Now, this doesn’t mean slipping them some peyote and taking them out to the desert for one of those vision quests.

Just get them thinking in terms of “what if…”

One of the biggest fears of making any suggestion is getting rejected. Since most of us are absolutely terrified of rejection on a very deep level, we’re a bit on the shy side when asking for things.

Even if it’s something simple like asking for somebody to pass the salt, most normal people need to muster up a tiny bit of courage when eating with important strangers (your girlfriend or boyfriend’s parents, your boss’s family, etc.)

That’s why it’s automatic in certain situations to put even suggestions like this into “imagination land.”

We don’t say, “pass the salt, please,” because that just sounds rude. We say much more “polite” things like, “Would you pass the salt?”

Without going too far down the grammar rabbit hole, the use of the word “would” indicates what’s called the “second conditional.”

The first conditional (if-then statements) are used when something is likely to happen. 

If it rains, I’ll get wet.

If I eat pizza, I’ll get sleepy.

But second conditionals use the word “would” or “could,” and are only used when something is ONLY in imagination land.

If I saw a UFO, I WOULD take a picture. (but it’s not going to happen, just pretending…)

If I grew to 3 meters tall, I COULD play for the NBA (but it’s not going to happen, just pretending…)

The reason we use “would” in polite sentences is so we don’t put anybody on the spot (nobody likes taking orders) AND there’s no fear of rejection, since we’re only talking hypothetically (imagine-land speak).

Luckily, when we shift our listeners and readers into imagine-land, the normal objections vanish. They get to imagine what it would be like to get something, without all the fears that go along with it.

For example, savvy salespeople know that the best way to get a customer salivating over any product is to simply imagine they already have it, in the future, and that they are enjoying it. Then the salesperson gets the client to describe that “perfect” scenario.

This, of course, increases their “buying temperature” significantly.

Guys who are good at picking up girls also do this (and girls can use this as well).

Just get your “target” to imagine (and describe) the perfect boyfriend or girlfriend, or the perfect relationship.

Then they’ll start to see YOU through that “imaginary” lens that is between you.

There are plenty of ways to do this, and plenty of opportunities.

What would you do if you could learn all these patterns, and get all those things that you wanted?

Find Out:

Covert Hypnosis

The Instant Killer Of Attraction

Blast Through Obstacles To Dating Success

Get In The Game

There’s a lot that can get in the way of getting what you want when it comes to girls. For most guys, that means a decent relationship with a decent girl that shares your values, goals and beliefs.

In order to get that, you’ve got to meet a lot of people. If you’re a normal guy, meeting a lot of people with this end in mind is pretty fun.

That’s if you can get past this common roadblock.

This one insidious obstacle that’s been going around A LOT these days. This is not something you can see, and it exists only inside your brain. 

But once you get stuck in this trap, it’s VERY hard to get out. The best way to avoid this brick wall is to run in the other direction when you start to suspect it’s presence.

What mysterious entity to I refer to?

Philosophy.

How’s that?

It usually goes like this. A guy sees a girl. He wants to go over, talk to her, get to know her, maybe exchange numbers so they can get together later. But it doesn’t happen that way.

He either doesn’t go over, but he goes over which such a lame attempt he falls on his face.

And instead of chalking it up to his lack of skills, he does one thing that humans have been doing since the dawn of time.

He avoids responsibility. 

This usually ends up with a bunch of dudes talking about the deep philosophical meaning behind the current state of the dating game.

Why?

Otherwise they’d have to admit they suck. Because it really sucks to openly admit that you suck. Not in a kidding, self-deprecating way, but in an honest, “Wow, I’m not nearly as great as I thought I was” way.

This is a HARD pill to swallow for ANY human.

It’s MUCH EASIER on the ego to blame the world. Now, if you’re throwing a rock at a moving target, like a zebra, for example, it actually does make sense to blame the zebra. This makes you angry, which gives you more energy to keep throwing rocks until you’ve got something to eat.

But since we live in a modern world, things are MUCH more complicated.

Which means any excuse we come up with (especially if all we’re doing is sitting there complaining) is going to be pretty vague.

And when you’ve got a bunch of whiny guys coming up with vague excuses for why they can’t get laid, what does it sound like?

Yep, philosophy. 

Philosophy makes people sound smart. Philosophy makes it sound like people have some deep insight into the world. Philosophy gives people the illusion they are superior to other knuckle-dragging mouth-breathers.

But two things philosophy WON’T get you is laid or paid.

Unless, of course, you’re selling circularly logical tomes on the deep philosophies of the world.

So whenever you hear yourself start talking about the “sexual market,” or “social pressure,” or any other ego protecting nonsense. Stop. Get up, and go talk to some girl. See what happens. If it doesn’t work out, go talk to somebody else.

And keep doing that until you’ve got somebody you like, that also likes you.

Reverse Polarity Language Power

Put Hidden Treasure In Their Brain

Let Them Discover Your Hidden Truth

Lately I’ve been watching “Marco Polo” on Netflix.

So far, it’s pretty good. It’s more about Kublai Khan and all the political intrigue than Polo,  who is really the observer proxy for the audience.

If you can get past the language assumptions (some Italian guy is speaking fluently to a Mongol King in China) it’s pretty interesting how he chooses his words carefully when speaking to the “Great Khan.”

Since there’s all kinds of inter-family backstabbing and jockeying for power, Kahn uses Polo as a kind of “spy” to watch some of his family members and report what he sees.

From the beginning, Kahn decides to keep Polo because he describes things pretty well.

But most of his descriptions seem to “hide” certain truths, as he’s worried what will happen if the Great Kahn realizes what people REALLY think about him.

This is how most people use language. A great thinker once described language as a “tool to hide what’s really on our mind.”

Few people understand that’s only HALF of it’s power.

Most of us are pretty natural at using language to hide certain truths.

Somebody works for a boss and did an absolute crappy job, for example. Another manager calls the boss for a reference, and the boss says something like, “Well, he always showed up on time. And he never really used any swear words.”

Now that “sort of” sounds good, but in reality it’s clear that the boss didn’t think so, since had nothing to say about his work performance.

We do this all the time. We hear an idea that’s total crap, and we say, “Hmm, that’s interesting.”

But the real power of language is when you stop covertly hiding truths, and start to covertly expressing truths.

Truths about yourself, your ideas, your business. Anything.

And it has the incredible effect of letting your listener or reader “discover” the meaning on their own.

What ideas would you to covertly slip into the minds of others?

Learn How:

Covert Hypnosis

How To Make Them Feel Lucky To Know You

Amplify Their Interest In You

How To Magnify Their Criteria

Many people are drawn into sales because of the massive potential.

Meaning that unlike most every other job, the better you do, the more you’ll make.

Instantly. No need for waiting for a promotion every year.

And you don’t need any education, or technical training, other than knowledge about the product.

Which is why plenty of people with barely a high school diploma are easily making six figures in all kinds of sales.

On the other hand, it can be incredibly nerve racking. Because on the other of the coin is rejection, and poverty. Since most sales folks are paid on commission, if you don’t sell anything, you don’t get paid anything.

If you’ve ever had any kind of sales job, you may be under the impression (as most people are) that selling requires some kind of magical, high-energy charisma that mesmerizes the clients. Some sales people do seem to have that “in your face” quality.

But in reality, that’s the WORST way to sell things.

Why?

Because it ignored the REASONS the other people want to buy stuff.

Most people are taught to memorize a list of “features and benefits” of their product, and overwhelm the clients with all the amazingly fantastic things about the product.

Hopefully, if they do this with enough energy and enthusiasm, enough customers will buy.

But doing this just makes rejection hurt a lot worse. If you put in a HUGE amount of energy into your presentation, and they say “no thanks,” it’s VERY hard not to take it personally.

Which is why it’s much, much EASIER, more respectful, and at lot less stressful to simply to find out what they want.

The thing about human desires is once we get past the “surface structure,” our desires are pretty vague.

Which means you can take pretty much any reason somebody is shopping, find out what their REAL desires are, and link them up to quite a few products and services.

So long as they really WILL fulfill their needs, they’ll see the products (and you) as the luckiest thing that ever happened to them.

Obviously, this works just as well if you’re not selling anything, but doing ANY kind of persuasion or influence.

The basic strategy is to simply elicit their criteria, magnify it and then “hook it” to whatever you’d like them to do, using some powerful language patterns.

The BEST part is they’ll do what YOU want for THEIR reasons.

Zero “in your face” enthusiasm required.

To learn more, check this out:

Covert Hypnosis