Category Archives: Frame Control

Who Does Your Life Belong To?

Get Out Of The Carriage!

Grow Up!

One of the hardest things to do as an adult is take responsibility.

One of the easiest things to do is overly depend on others, blame others, or see yourself as less than adequate.

You want something, something big. But we all have a ready made list of excuses why we don’t have it.

Maybe we think our education isn’t enough. Maybe we think we don’t have the right connections. Maybe we think there’s some hidden group of conspirators keeping us from the goods.

What makes it even worse is many times, those are all correct.

After all, having a good education, plenty of connections and a silver spoon certainly doesn’t hurt.

But the moment you blame others for your lack, in any capacity, you put yourself in a tough spot.

Because while it does feel good to shrug off responsibility, it also severely limits what you can accomplish.

If you want something, and can’t get it due to others, it doesn’t feel so bad. I mean, if you COULD get it, you would right? But since “those people” are keeping you down, why bother?

The problem with shifting blame (even when it’s factually accurate) is makes you DEPENDENT on the world. You have to wait for “them” to give you what you want. What you need. What you desire.

While it does feel good to hold that fantasy in mind, that you’ll be given stuff for free, it’s not the best strategy for success.

Because pretty much everybody else on planet earth has the same exact game plan.

On the other hand, taking responsibility is scary. Risky. Prone with failure after failure.

But the upside potential is HUGE.

Instead of waiting to be “given” free stuff, you’ll be creating MUCH BETTER stuff.

Life is a long string of trial and error experiences. If you are prone to blame others, you’ll see each one as PROOF that “they” are holding you down.

On the other hand, if you see each one as a learning experience, AND a step closer to whatever you want, you’ll see those very same events as PROOF that you are DESTINED for greatness.

Same exact events, two different perspectives.

It all depends on what you CHOOSE to believe.

Believe about yourself, believe about your skills, and believe about your purpose in life.

Do you believe you are a victim, and can ONLY get good stuff if “the universe” decides to give it to you?

Or are you in charge of your brain, your actions, and your life? And see the world as one big canvas upon which to paint your masterpiece?

One way’s easy. So easy that EVERYBODY can do it.

Which one do you want?

Get Yours:

Mind Tricks To Destroy Approach Anxiety

Give Her An Opportunity, Don't Ask For Her To Accept You

Ancient Secrets For Modern Seduction

In ancient societies, there were two ways to go to war with neighboring tribes.

One was the old fashioned way, where you show up with a bunch of guys and clubs and start swinging.

Even if you “win” this is pretty dangerous. You can lose a lot of good guys this way. That’s why  most ancient tribes, and even certain primates, rarely have a full on battle. 

They usually have “raiding parties” where they swoop in while everybody is sleeping, bash a few guys, take a bunch of stuff, and then leave before anybody knows what’s up.

In other ancient societies, they have a much more advanced form of warfare. One tribe will show up to another tribe with a bunch of gifts.

It’s kind of rude to not accept a bunch of gifts, since it usually leads to old school fighting. So the receiving tribe is pretty much forced to accept the gifts.

Which puts them on a lower standing from a social status position. When you show up and DEMAND gifts, that’s one thing. But when you show up unexpected and GIVE gifts, it’s much more powerful.

We humans do this all the time. We do an unasked for “favor,” and then act like they are in our debt. You do this, and this is done to you.

But there’s a pretty sneaky way you can use this to destroy any approach anxiety.

How?

Just see yourself as giving her the opportunity to get to know you. Now, this ONLY works on getting rid of that initial approach anxiety. It’s not a sure fire pick up method, and you STILL have to talk to her in a way that fires up her emotions.

But if you are too nervous to approach her, then none of that will matter anyway.

Most guys, when they approach, act like they are asking for something. Meaning a guy walks up to a girl, and they think they can get “rejected.”

Even thinking that “rejection” is even possible presumes that she’s got more power than you. She has the power to accept you, and she has the power to reject you.

But this feeling will lessen considerably when you imagine you’re giving her an opportunity.

Which you are. Again, you are NOT imagining that you’re God’s gift to women, or expecting anything from her.

But if you just see it from an objective standpoint, a guy talking to a girl, with BOTH of them thinking that maybe it will turn into something more, it will be a lot easier.

Think about it from her perspective. Unless you are going to walk over with your ding-dong in your hand, or if you smell like you just crawled out of a dumpster, she’s not going to be put off if you’re just a normal guy.

Even if nothing happens, she’s going to be GLAD that you approached her. She’s going to feel GOOD for having been approached.

So ditch the “accept-reject” continuum. Think if it as giving her the gift of opportunity.

To make it even easier, check this out:

Frame Control

Do You Have Trouble Speaking Up?

Speak With Confidence

Let Loose Your Brilliance

A common fear or anxiety is speaking up with an idea.

You’ve got this great idea, but when it comes time to express it, it doesn’t always come out the way you’d imagined.

Maybe you imagined your friends or that special someone responding a certain way. Positive, open, glad. But then when you start to deliver your message, the result is less than you’d hoped.

The tricky thing about comparing our expectations of reality to reality itself is that our brains are MUCH faster than the way things really play out.

It only takes a fraction of a second to imagine a good outcome. But once you start talking, and you feel all eyes are upon you, it can seem like forever. It doesn’t take long for that little voice inside to say something like, “See what happens when you open your big mouth?”

But here’s the thing. Most of the time, during the “unfolding of reality,” when all those eyes are upon you, they’re not really judging you or rejecting you. They’re just processing your message. They’re taking whatever you’re saying, and comparing it to whatever their experience is.

Even if the BEST case scenario happens (when they realize your idea is FANTASTIC), it won’t happen immediately. They’ll STILL have to digest it, think about it, compare it to their own ideas on the subject, BEFORE they realize what a good idea it is.

If you’re the slightest bit unsure of yourself, the time between the start of your message, and when they finally accept and acknowledge it will seem like a long, long time.

And whenever we’re in a situation like that, our uncertainties tend to EXPLODE in our brains, making huge mountains out of tiny molehills.

The truth is that most people (including YOU!) have some good ideas. Great ideas. Fantastic ideas.

It’s only that when we deliver them, we are less than confident.

And here’s something REALLY important to understand. If you ever DO get rejected (which happens to everybody all the time) they aren’t rejecting your idea, or even you. They’re rejecting your DELIVERY.

Which is really your own INTERPRETATION of your own idea, in the face of imagined scrutiny.

The first clue people look to whenever you speak is not the content of your message. It’s how you deliver it. It’s your confidence, your facial expressions, your body language and your voice tone.

The secret is that if YOU believe your idea or suggestion is valid and true, and you deliver it like it is, everybody else will jump right on board without a second thought.

Learn How:

Frame Control

How To Overcome Her Tests And Increase Attraction

Secrets Of Being A Verbal Ninja

Verbal Ninja Skills Are Crucial

One of the most powerful skills you can have is verbal flexibility.

Any goof can memorize a bunch of pick up lines and patterns. But a true natural will take ANYTHING she gives him, and can flip it around to mean pretty much anything else.

Imagine a fighter who only knows one punch, or a football team who only knows how to run up the middle.

They run into any opponent that can defeat that one move, and they’re done.

On the other hand, any team that can easily adjust their offense based on the defense of their opponent will win every game they plan.

Of course, this is a HORRIBLE metaphor for meeting girls. 

Why?

In sports, both teams can’t win. One team can ONLY win if the make the other team lose.

This absolutely the wrong attitude to have when meeting girls.

Unless you’re the type of guy who sneaks up behind girls and starts talking to them completely unexpectedly, she WANTS you to succeed.

If she’s NOT giving you obvious signs she wants you to go away, she WANTS you to keep going. She WANTS you to seduce her. She WANTS you to bang her silly.

Now, not the way you think. She doesn’t really know you yet. But she HOPES that you are the guy she’s been looking for, who will know how to spin all her propellers.

But in order to figure out if you’re THAT guy or not, she needs to TEST you.

Most guys are terrified of this.

You should absolutely WELCOME tests.

Why?

There are two ways for a girl to get to know a guy enough to know she wants to slip in between the sheets.

One is to go on a several dates, see him operate in various situations, see how he interacts with all levels of society, see how he handles himself under pressure.

This is pretty much the whole reason for the dating process. Most guys know right off the bat if they like a girl, since our criteria are pretty much based on her physical appearance.

But girls based their attraction on behavior. 

Now, this is all unconscious. It’s not like they have a spreadsheet with a bunch of qualities they tick off every time they finish a date.

But they need to interact with a guy for a while before they KNOW they are attracted.

UNLESS, of course, they throw out some tests.

Most guys assume that tests mean she’s mean, or wants to hurt you, or is trying to chase you away.

But in reality, when she tests you, her cave girl brain is trying to ACCELERATE the attraction process.

She wants you to pass, so she can be attracted to you.

How do you pass? 

Have the verbal flexibility and sense of humor to see they are no big deal.

Like sparring with a five year old. They are trying to hit you in the nuts. But you just playfully knock their punches away, and have fun while doing it.

See tests the same way. With a solid sense of self, some strong frame control and verbal flexibility, her tests will be a welcome acceleration to your bedroom.

Learn More:

Frame Control

How To Generate Reverse Rapport

Get People To Qualify Themselves To You

Get Them Coming To You

If you know anything about persuasion, you know rapport is crucial.

Without rapport,  you can’t do much. 

I know that you’ve heard this over and over and over again, but despite how widespread the idea of rapport is, few people practice it.

Why is this?

For one, it’s one of those things where we say to ourselves, “Oh, THAT? I already know about THAT!”

Another is that it IS pretty simple. It’s not like learning some of the other advanced stuff. It only takes a few minutes, literally, to fully understand it.

But maybe the biggest reason many people don’t practice it is because it’s easy to forget.

Especially when you get into a conversation with somebody where the outcome is pretty important.

Which in and of itself, presents a paradox.

On the one hand, when you’re with your friends and family, the outcome of any conversation isn’t usually that crucial. But that’s where you have the most rapport, built right in.

On the other hand, when you’re trying to get a phone number, or close a sale, or talk about something very important, rapport usually isn’t built in. 

Which means you’ve got to take some time and build it.

But most of the time, we’re so nervous that we simply forget. Forget to set it, and forget to check it.

Which means most people are done before they start.

Whenever we’re talking about anything regarding sales or relationship creating, we usually refer to it as a “numbers game.”

Talk to enough people, and you get what you want. Simple in theory, but often times very difficult in practice.

Even if ten percent of the people you talk to fall in love with you and your idea, that means nine out of ten will not only NOT be in rapport, but they’ll be sending you covert signals of “get the heck away from me!”

I don’t care who you are, but this doesn’t feel good to ANYBODY.

Now, on the one hand, you could FORCE yourself to build rapport. Force yourself to match their body language, rate of speech etc. 

Now, this will significantly increase your success. Maybe even a lot. But you’ll still be talking to a lot of people that want nothing to do with you.

What if there were a better way? A way to project an image where people would WANT to be in rapport with you?

Where all you’d have to do is simply show up, and the work is already done?

Instead of walking up to strangers who are thinking, “Who IS this guy…” they’ll be thinking “Wow! She picked ME!”

Instead of imposing your world on others, they’ll be pre-qualifying themselves to you.

How do you do this?

Here’s How:

Frame Control

How To Destroy Approach Anxiety

Destroy Approach Anxiety

Kick Fear To The Curb

I like you but I don’t need you.

This is the perfect attitude to have when talking to girls. Of course, you should never say this. Feeling needed is a very deep  and very ancient human desire. Telling somebody straight out that you don’t need them is a horrible and painful slap in the emotional face.

But, on the other hand, coming on too strong with need is really, really creepy. Any guy that expresses too much need is going to destroy any attraction that may exist.

So, in the beginning, especially when you’re first talking to her, your actions should speak much louder than your words.

And your actions should proclaim that you like her. You like looking at her. You like listening to her talk. You like her smell, her energy, her movements.

But you’re perfectly fine without her.

And on top of that, you need to also project the “energy” that the whole purpose of that entire conversation is for you to find out more about her, and for her to find out more about you.

Not to trick her into sleeping with you, or con her by projecting an image of yourself that you’re really not.

Notice all this has to do with inner game, not any kind of outer language technology.

There’s absolutely no set of “language patterns” that will project these ideas or beliefs.

Only your inner state can do that.

Inside Out, Not Outside In

How Do You Develop That Inner State?

First, see your life as the most important part of your life. Sounds silly but many people tend put things outside of themselves as very important to their lives.

Secondly, have some standards beyond physical beauty. Actually write out a list of things that your ideal girlfriend or lover has to have, besides her looks and sexy body. Personality traits. Beliefs. Ideas about her future. Levels of her self confidence.

Having a set of objective standard will make it much easier to approach.

Why?

If all you need are good looks, then you’ve accepted her before you even talk to her. Which means the whole conversation is about you hoping she accepts you. This is nerve racking, to say the least.

But when the conversation is only a means of discovering who she is, it will be a lot more fun.

So take some time. Figure out what you want in life, outside of women and relationships.

Then take some time, figuring out what you want in a woman, and in a relation.

Then have fun making it happen.

To make it much easier, check this out:

Frame Control

Why Social Magnetism Precedes Language

Magnetism and Charisma

Ancient Secrets Of Charisma

Most of us assume that communication is to simply transfer information.

You’ve got some info in your brain, and you’ve got to get into the brains of others.

You come up with an idea, speak it out loud, see that other people understand it, and that’s that.

Right?

Maybe it’s not so simple.

The thing about something as complicated as human interaction and communication is it’s hard to tell sometimes between “means” and “ends.” The intention and the process by which we get that intention met. Or our outcome and our behavior.

Like it would seem that our intention is to convey information, and the process by which we do that is communication.

However, is that all there is?

Some psychologists, especially those focused on linguistics (like Steven Pinker, for example) believe that there’s a deeper purpose for simply “transmitting information.”

Your behavior is speaking, and the outcome is to get your idea inside their head.

But why do you want to do that?

According to Pinker, and others on the same page, the reason is ALWAYS to influence the other person in some way. That’s the ultimate goal.

We want them to do something (or not do something) or believe something (or not believe something).

In reality, the “transfer of information” is really a means to a deeper end.

What kinds of things do we normally want others to do?

They range from simple, subconscious actions to complicated conscious and extended behaviors.

Short term subconscious things like smile at us, give us their attention and companionship, validate us, and all kinds of other things.

Complex, long term and conscious things like buy our products, hire us, give us their phone numbers and start relationships with us.

Social Interactions Precede Language

Here’s something else to ponder.

Humans have been living in groups, and interacting with each other long, long before language was even invented.

So the structure of human interactions, relationship building, soliciting cooperation and going after common goals HAS to be based on something much, much deeper than language.

As complex as human grammar is, it’s really just icing on the cake.

What’s underneath?

It’s hard to measure, hard to describe. But you know when somebody’s got it, and when they don’t.

Somebody that’s got it can simply make a suggestion, and everybody’s on board. They usually drop whatever’s on their minds, and follow the leader.

Somebody that doesn’t have it can write the most eloquent words ever spoken, but when they speak them out loud, they fall flat. The words make sense, but for some reason, other people aren’t “feeling it.”

What’s that deeper quality?

More importantly, do YOU have it?

Get It:

Frame Control

Metaphysical Secret Sauce of Success

Your Vision Is The Most Crucial Element Of Your Success

Do You Have Your Own Vision?

What’s the difference between goals and visions?

Each of those probably has lots of different words to describe them, but I think it’s important to understand what each one is.

A goal is something that’s specific. Something you’ll know when you get there. Losing ten pounds, making X amount of money per month, being in a relationship.

These are all things that you KNOW if you have them, and you KNOW if you don’t.

Visions, on the other hand, are much more hard to pin down. 

You can think of goals as certain and specific places. Visions, on the other hand, are more like directions.

Of course, the right goals will support you in your visions. Losing weight can certainly be proof that you’re on the right path to a “healthy lifestyle,” which is much harder to define.

And just as important as it is to have goals, it’s even more important to have visions.

If you think of the most successful people you have ever heard of, they got where they are because they had visions they stuck to. 

Usually for decades.

Your Life Is Only Up To You

Your Vision Will Take You Anywhere

Great inventors usually keep inventing stuff because of their visions, rather than their individual goals.

Ultra wealthy business people get there not because they have a specific goal of making a million dollars, but because they have a broad vision to keep creating things that people will gladly pay for.

Take Bill Gates for example. Before he was the richest nerd on the planet, he was an entrepreneur. When he was still a teenager, he was already finding ways to make and sell stuff.

He sold the idea of Windows to BEFORE he created it. That’s how much he believed in his Vision.

The truth of success in life is pretty simple.

Choose a vision. A powerful vision that will guide you for most of your life. Get started, and no matter what happens, never, ever give up.

Most people don’t have any kind of a vision, other than make it through the next couple weeks.

The few people that DO have visions, rarely get started, or rarely think of them as more than wishes.

But when you take your vision, and make it your overriding purpose in life, something will happen.

People will notice something “different” about you. You won’t be like the billions of other aimless souls wandering the Earth waiting to be told what to do.

You will have a true purpose in life. Something that comes through the way you walk, the way you talk, and the way you look at people.

This will make you stand out in a room filled with average folks. So much that people will look at you and think, “I don’t know who that is or what they’re doing, but I’d like to help.”

This is what happens when you create a vision, and the powerful frame to wrap around it.

Get Started:

Frame Control

Secrets Of Seduction You’ll Never Learn From Gurus

What's This Guy Know That You Don't?

Inside Secrets Of Natural Game

Here’s a secret the dating gurus will NEVER tell you.

What’s the most important thing you need when learning about attracting and dating the girls of your dreams?

Hint: It’s not found in a book, a seminar or a DVD home study course.

I think you already know that it’s EXPERIENCE.

The more experience you have, the better you’ll do. Every single time you walk into an unfamiliar situation your brain quickly scans your history.

Then based on your behaviors in the past, and how well you did (or didn’t do) you’ll come up with both a “feeling” and a strategy for what to do.

Now, some guys walk up to hundreds of women, and they don’t succeed with ANY of them.

Why?

Perhaps because they don’t vary their approach. They don’t try different things.

Here’s the secret of success in ANY area of life.

Ready?

This is Guaranteed By The Goddess Herself

Guaranteed Success In Anything

Figure out what you want. Try something. Did you get closer? Do more of that. Did you get further away? Do something different.

This works with investing, with playing sports, with music, and with interpersonal relationships with gorgeous girls you’d like in between the sheets.

Now, you certainly CAN augment your success by REFERRING to any number of available learning material out there. But only IN BETWEEN real world experiences.

The problem is many guys tend to SUBSTITUTE learning and studying game for practicing game.

Consider two guys.

One guy knows absolutely NOTHING about game. But he is an approach machine. He remembers everything, and keeps improving his skills based only on his experience.

Guy number two has a PhD in game. But he never leaves the forums, and is always spouting off about the latest ninja technique. Or worse, he’s busily picking apart every other guy’s attempts to maintain his internet credibility and dominance.

Which guy do you think is going to get the best results?

Guy number one, of course.

Naturally, if you combine the best of both worlds, real world practice based on theoretical after the fact break down, you’ll be a super ninja seducer in no time.

One thing that will make you even better is taking on the mental attitude of somebody who can walk into any crowd and literally OWN the room.

It takes some mental practice, and some inner work, but it’s well worth it.

Learn How:

Frame Control

Secrets Of Female Attraction

She Doesn't Care What You Look LIke

Why Looks Don’t Matter To Girls

Most guys, when they think of their ideal girl, think in terms of looks.

This isn’t because men are “visual” like many people have claimed. Everything that has to do with sex and reproduction is based on evolution.

The bottom line is that every generation there were small changes in our DNA makeup. Not programmed in by nature or aliens, but just random copying errors.

Changes that added benefits were kept. Changes that took away benefits or caused damage were quickly eliminated. (Those that had these didn’t live long enough to reproduce.)

If you know anything about marketing, then you know what a “split test” is. It’s when you take your ad, change something about it, and run it against the original, just to see which works better.

You can think of evolution as one LOOOONG split test. And WE are the winners.

So, back to the question.

Why do guys think  mostly in terms of looks when they think of their ideal girl?

This is most definitely NOT politically correct, but it’s scientifically and biologically correct.

Men want the most suitable mothers for their potential children. This means big boobs, smooth skin, thin legs, flat stomach, and youth.

Why youth? 

Because if you get together with a young girl, you’ll have more babies than if you get together with an older woman. It’s pure mathematics. Nothing else. Evolution made more copies of people that liked young girls, since guys that liked young girls made more copies of themselves.

Step Aside, Butch!

Mother Nature Always Wins

Mother Nature is cruelly efficient.

Anyhow, anything that makes up a suitable mate, from male standpoint, can be determined by looking at her.

This generally includes ANY sign of youth, and ANY sign of health. Boobs, teeth, hair, lips, legs, whatever.

One glance across the room will tell a guy everything he needs to know.

What about girls?

Do looks matter as much?

No. 

They do not.

Why?

Think about what’s important to a woman. After she gets pregnant, she’s out for a couple years. That means her man needs to be out taking care of business.

This means being a good hunter. Which means being able to be a strong social leader.

Why?

Any time the guys go out hunting, the dude in charge is going to bring home the most meat. The dude at the bottom is going to get the leftovers.

No woman wants to be helpless for two years while living off the leftovers.

All women want to have their man being the leader, and bringing home the most meat.

How can they tell  he’s the leader?

How he carries himself. How he speaks to others. How he handles criticism. His confidence. His body language. What he believes about himself and his future.

Can she tell this by looking?

Nope.

How does she tell?

By interacting. By seeing him under pressure. By seeing how he is around his boys.

How can you become a social leader? A TRUE alpha?

Here’s How:

Frame Control