Category Archives: Game

Practice Instead Of Study

Leverage Your Human Learning Power

Trial And Feedback

Many guys study pickup and seduction like they study other kinds of subjects in school.

Write stuff down, practice and home in front of a mirror. Pay thousands of dollars to attend seminars and role play in a safe environment where everybody behaves “correctly.”

But the thing about humans is that we are natural learners. Other animals have various specialities. Cheetahs can run fast. Zebras can blend together and look like one huge crazy animal.

Tigers have super sharp teeth and super sharp claws and can pretty much digest anything.

Monkeys can hang from tree branches with their tails.

Humans, however, can learn. We are THE MOST adaptable animal. We are born so UN-fully formed, that we live a large percentage of our lives in “learning mode.” And it really never shuts off.

Before even 5% of any population ever HEARD of school, or “traditional learning” people were inventing airplanes, telescopes, steam engines.

They didn’t go to seminars. They didn’t learn that from books.

They tried, and measure what happened afterwards. Then they tried again.

Now, this may take some conscious thought if you are trying to invent something like an airplane or a telescope.

But if it has ANYTHING to do with human interaction and communication, you don’t need to be taught. You don’t need any special methods or techniques or patterns.

You just need courage. The courage to practice, and get feedback. Now, some people will call this failure.

And sure, if the Earth is about to explode an hour from now, and you really need to get laid before everybody dies, then yea, not getting her number may be considered a failure.

But otherwise, it’s just one more piece of data in a LONG lifetime of endless learning.

The ONLY thing you really need to do to get better with women is practice. Forget about the outcome. Just enjoy  the process.

Start talking to anybody and everywhere, wherever you go. Be friendly. Be outgoing. Talk to old ladies. Talk to your waiter. Talk to the guy or the girl working at the coffee shop. Don’t game anybody or sell any MLMs or try and do anything sneaky.

Just talk to people and enjoy people. The more you do this, the easier it will get.

Pretty soon, talking to cute girls won’t be so difficult. Then you’ll make a startling realization. After talking to them for a couple of minutes, you’ll find you start to lose interest with a LOT of cute girls.

Simply because you’re not so desperate anymore, you start to notice their personalities. Some will match yours, but a lot won’t. That’s fine. That’s normal. That’s good. That’s healthy.

Then you’ll find the REAL FUN. Talking to girls not to impress them, or to game them, or to trick them into sleeping with you.

But to find the right one.

Get Started:

Girlfriend Generator

How To Overcome Two Obstacles To Romantic Success

Patience Is Always A Virtue

Two Birds – One Stone

The two biggest killers to natural, effortless “game” is impatience, and fear.

Now, I put “game” in quotes (there, I did it again!) because I don’t really mean “game” like it’s normally used.

The whole reason for using that word is that it’s a metaphor from sports. Sure, it’s easy to see a guy interacting with a girl as some kind of competition. And it can seem like in sports, there’s going to be a winner, and there’s going to be a loser.

But hopefully you’re starting to realize that this is a pretty restricting metaphor. Even holding the idea that the male-female interaction should be some kind of “game” takes away the real truth of it.

Girls all have their idea of their dream guy. And guys all have their ideas of a dream girl. Sounds sappy and overly romantic, but there it is.

And believe it or not, unless you’re talking to some con artist who just got out of prison, most girls hope YOU are their dream guy when you talk to them, just like you hope SHE is your dream girl when you first talk to her.

But here’s the thing. One, guys are pretty terrified of talking to girls. Even guys who go out and number close like nobody’s business don’t feel nearly as comfortable talking to girls as they do their buddies.

So one hurdle you’ve GOT to overcome is fear. If you want to be comfortable talking to as many girls as you want, with the intention of finding that PERFECT GIRL for you, you’ve simply got to ditch the fear.

The second reason guys study so many techniques and patterns and angles and gambits is impatience. They want their dream girl, and they want her right now.

Now you can thank Mother Nature for that. For something as important as reproduction, we humans don’t want to wait. The whole purpose of girls looking good to guys is so we’re ready go to NOW.

But here’s the thing.

If you can overcome BOTH those powerful instincts, and think with your rational, conscious mind, you will achieve astounding success.

You’ll lose your fear when talking to girls, and slowly but surely you’ll sort HUNDREDS if not THOUSANDS of girls to find the right one for you. 

How do you do that?

Start slow. Progress even slower. Take your time. Slowly and carefully expand your comfort zone.

If you do this,  you’ll be killing two birds with one stone.

Learn More:

Girlfriend Generator

High Probability Dating

Consistent Effort Will Yield Huge Results

Low Energy Huge Results

There’s a lot of fantasy type movies where a guy has some kind of magical powers, and all the girls around him are desperately in love with him, and would do anything for him.

To be sure, this is one of the most prevalent fantasies of most men, based on all kinds of different social studies.

And to be sure, if ALL you wanted was short term flings when as many women as possible, that’s really not such a tall order. There’s a certain way to behave, to talk to them, and to quickly build up attraction.

Sure, you might not be able to do that now, but with some consistent practice, it would only take a few months, maybe a year.

Now, if you are absolutely desperate to get laid in the next ten minutes, waiting a year until you have the skills to pretty much seduce any girl you come across is a long, long time. But if that’s what you really wanted, it would certainly be worth it.

But here’s the thing. It can be dangerous to develop those levels of skills, for many reasons. One is you might decide one day you really only want ONE special girl to be with. Some girl that goes beyond just filling your bed for a couple nights.

And once you develop that “player” mindset, that might be hard to do. Suppose you meet some innocent sweet girl who really is “high quality.” (whatever THAT means). She will know that you’re a player, just how you interact with the world.

But here’s the thing. You can still get to that “harem like” world WITHOUT learning any tricks or techniques of seduction.

How?

Just start talking to girls as a part of who you are. Instead of trying to seduce every single one of them, just talk to them normally, and see it as an exercise to find the girls who are NATURALLY interested in you.

Think if it like you would a sales job. On one end of the spectrum, there’s guys who are ultra high energy, ultra persuasive, know all kinds of techniques. These guys try to sell every single person they come across.

Then there are the guys who are ultra laid back. They know their product REALLY well. They know specifically WHO the product is for. They just spend their time finding that magical 2% of the population who will eagerly buy the product WITHOUT any sales pitch.

A lot less stress, and their customers generally come back again and again.

Here’s the funny thing. If you spent all your time learning advanced game to seduce every female on Earth, it may take you six months to a year.

But if you started today, just talking to girls you met, pretty soon you’d have a nice social circle filled with girls who like you EXACTLY how you are, right now.

A social circle from which you could choose your dream girl. 

Ready to get started?

How To Practice Spontaneity 

Practice Not Knowing What To Say

How To Be In The Moment

Many girls love a guy who’s spontaneous. Now, that doesn’t mean saying you are spontaneous. That doesn’t mean telling her stories about how you were so super spontaneous back in college. 

It simply requires that you BE spontaneous, while you’re talking to her and interacting with her.

It also means that you don’t waste ANY time approaching. This is one of the reasons why the three second rule is pretty important. Ideally, you should never have to consciously apply the three second rule. It should be something you do automatically, without thinking.

You see a cute girl, make eye contact, and go and introduce yourself. 

“But, but, but, what do I say?”

“How do I approach?”

“What if she’s with her friends?”

“Who should I talk to first?”

Forget about all that. The whole point of being spontaneous is doing things BEFORE you really know what you’re doing.

Here’s an exercise to try. The next cute girls you see, immediately walk up and say this:

“I had the most amazing thing to do you, but on the way over here, I forgot what to say.”

Then see what she says.

No, this isn’t a pick up line. This isn’t some trick to show off how cool you are. This is PRACTICE to help you think in the moment.

After a while, you won’t need to say that cheesy line. You’ll walk up, and you really WON’T know what you’re going to say until you get there.

This is where REAL spontaneity comes from.

Sure, the first few times you’ll fall on your face. Look silly. Run away with your tail between your legs.

But so what?

The goal is to walk up, and be confident EVEN THOUGH you have no idea what to say.

This will make you INCREDIBLY attractive. Most guys are too scared to walk up. Most guys that DO walk up have some kind of line they memorized BEFORE they even started the approach.

You’ll come across as confident, natural, and fearless. And VERY spontaneous.

How do you do you get to this level?

Practice. Practice talking to girls when you have no idea what you want to say. Practice letting what she ways to you conjure up ideas in your mind.  Practice coming up with things to say ON THE SPOT.

Sure it will take time.

But you’ll develop a skill very few people have.

Sorting Is Easier Than Seduction

Sort Don't Seduce

Don’t Turn Her Into Something She’s Not

It’s really, really easy to get your sites set on one girl. You meet her, have a conversation or two, and your caveman brain starts spinning. She seems perfect. You start to imagine a future together. If only you could figure out how to make it happen.

There’s two ways that guys sometimes handle something like this. One is they continue to interact her, but never really make any kind of move. I’m not talking a physical move, but they never ask her on a date, or talk to her so she knows the guy’s interested.

They sit around and hope something “just happens.”

Of course, this will quickly put you in the “friend zone” from which there’s really no escape. Sure it happens, but it’s not a good idea to depend on it.

The other thing they do is suddenly confess their feelings for her. Tell her they love her with all their hearts. This usually doesn’t work either. Way too much, way too soon.

Both of these strategies are designed to protect the male ego. They are afraid of rejection, so they never make a move and pretty much put themselves in the friend zone.

Or they want to get it over as quickly as possible, so they dump a bunch of emotions on her.

If you’ve done either of these, you know they don’t make things any better.

From an objective standpoint, going down the middle is clearly the best route. Express your intentions, but very slowly, in a way that’s easy for her to reciprocate.

If you’ve never done this before, it can be very, very difficult. Every single step forward means risking rejection. She may give you her number, but she might not date you. She might date you once, but not twice. She might be willing to date you, but not get physical. She might let you get to first based, but not second. And on and on.

As you can imagine, the more experience you get, the easier it will be. But this kind of gets rid of the notion of having it go perfectly with the first girl you ever lay eyes on.

This requires a completely different mindset. One is that finding your dream girl is not a seduction process, but a sorting process.

It’s much, much easier to find somebody who likes you just the way you are, then taking some girl who maybe likes you and spending all kinds of time, money and energy chasing her.

One thing that will help is to simply practice flirting with girls. Only flirting. Not number closing or long drawn out conversations where you hope something eventually happens.

Short, harmless flirting with as many girls as you can.

Until talking to cute girls becomes second nature, and you don’t freak out when you find “The One.

Look In The Mirror, Not The Market

How Do You Measure Your Success?

Skill Building Power Of Responsibility

In sports, there’s an idea of a plateau. Or in weight or exercise. When you first start, you’ll notice some pretty quick improvements. But then you kind of level off for a while. This is perfectly normal, and so long as you understand it’s perfectly normal, you’ll keep up with your training.

And you’ll see periodic “steps” up to the next level. On which you’ll stay for a while before the next step.

Game, or more specifically, social skills are the same way. This is both good and bad. It’s bad in that it can trick you into thinking that once you get to a certain level of game you don’t really need to improve any more. This can lead to “blaming the market” syndrome when you don’t get what you want.

For example, a lot of guys have no problems getting laid, but they have significant problems finding what they call “quality women.”

They imagine that since they can get laid, they’ve got all the game they need. When in reality, they’ve got JUST ENOUGH game to get laid.

But here’s where the problems begin. If you don’t know specifically what you want, other than getting laid, you’ll never find it. What’s more, you kind of expect it to “just happen” based on some imaginations based on the way you think the world “should” work.

One way to overcome this is to ALWAYS assume that if you can’t get what you want, the ONLY response is to improve your game. This is hard to do. It’s incredibly easy to blame the environment. And often times it IS the fault of the environment.

But so long as you FORCE yourself to look in the mirror rather than at the market, you’ll continue to improve. And you’ll see the same plateaus and steps you’ll find in sports or any other skill development.

Of course, there is another way. A much easier way that will make it much more natural to improve your game as an automatic result.

And that is to create a highly detailed set of criteria that describes what you’re looking for. What kind of girl? What kind of relationship?

The more detail you come up with, the more likely you’ll find her.

Naturally, she won’t pop out of the ether. You’re going to have to go looking for her. You’re going to have to talk to, and likely date a LOT of girls before you find her.

But in doing so you’ll be consistently improving your game.

So when you finally DO meet her, you won’t blow your chance.

Learn More:

Girlfriend Generator

How To Detach From Outcome

Do You See What I See?

Helpful But Vague Advice

One of the pieces of advice often given to guys who want to do better with girls is to “detach from outcome.”

This is pretty good advice for pretty much any kind of performance. If you’re too worried about the results, the additional stress and anxiety will mess up your behavior.

Paradoxically, the less you’re concerned with the outcome, the more likely you are to achieve it.

However, this is one of those catch-22’s. It’s nearly impossible to detach from the outcome if you don’t have any experience in getting it.

For example, if you’ve never gotten a phone number from a girl, and you ask somebody, it’s going to be very, very hard not to be nervous.

On the other hand, if you’ve gotten hundreds of numbers, it’s a lot easier to not care too much if the girl you’re currently talking to is going to give you her number.

It seems that in order to detach from the outcome, you first have to achieve the outcome a bunch of times. It doesn’t take much to see this can quickly turn into a recursive loop of insanity, keeping you stuck over in the shadows, while all the other guys are having all the fun.

What’s the answer?

Instead of detaching all the way from the outcome, simply pull back a bit. For example, if you want to get the number, set that as your intention, and then forget it. Then consciously think of all the things you would need to do anyway, to get the number, and focus on those. 

Like walking up to her, talking to her, making her smile and laugh. Lose yourself fully in the process. Enjoy the process. Make that your “intermediary outcome.”

See your main outcome of getting her number as comprised of a bunch of intermediary outcomes right after another.

If you are terrified of talking to her, focus on just walking up. Enjoy that process. Do it a few times until you build up a memory of getting that outcome, and then move on to the next.

Walk up and say hi, and then go somewhere else. Once you’ve got plenty of THAT experience, start an actual conversation.

Sounds like a long time, right?

Well, consider this. Most normal guys NEVER get much better at talking to girls than they were in high school. They may find themselves DECADES later still struggling with the same issues.

If you took your time, planned on a few months of just pure practice, and forgot about any outcome, you’d improve a LOT quicker.

This will help:

Girlfriend Generator

How To Practice Social Skills

Small Steps

Don’t Go Too Far Too Fast

Most people know there’s inner game, and outer game.

Inner game is based on your beliefs, what you are capable of, and how you feel about yourself with respect to the rest of the world.

Outer game is your actual skills. This can, of course, apply to almost any kind of skill. Martial arts, music, you name it. You can play the piano beautifully in your own home, for example, but collapse into a pile of mush in front of others.

The good news is about your social skills is that you can build up both inner game and outer game at the same time.

Now, most guys don’t consider game as something you can “practice” and “improve” like any other skill. If you were a martial artist, for example, you wouldn’t ONLY practice whenever you had a match. That would be silly.

Instead, when you consider all the time actually performing any kind of martial arts, 99% is training, and only 1% of it is in the actual ring in a competition.

What would happen if you practiced your social skills the same way?

Meaning that most of the time, you practiced, instead of doing it “for real.” Now, many guys say it’s practice, but that’s only after they get blown out and don’t get what they want.

But what happens when you consider it practice before the interaction begins?

First, you’d have to decide exactly what you’re practicing. Eye contact, conversations, number closing, whatever.

Once you’ve got that established, you ONLY practice THAT. Nothing else.

This is something many guys have a hard time getting. As soon as they find themselves in a conversation, they go as far as they can until THEY get blown out, or THEY blow the other person out.

But what happens if you ONLY practiced up to the level of comfort, and nothing more?

Until you are absolutely and completely confident starting conversations, and can do so without a second thought, ONLY practice starting conversations.

As soon as you start one, exit (politely), and look for the next one.

You may find that this skyrockets your social skills and game in a VERY short period of time.

Since you’ll be building up your experience of positive experiences, that ENDED on a positive note, rather than you or them getting blown out, your confidence would soar.

Having a step by step plan can help.

Try this one:

Girlfriend Generator

Is Being Yourself Really Bad Advice?

Are You Too Reliant On Game?

The Dangers Of Too Much Game

What’s the biggest mistake most guys make? They try to create attraction when none is there.

Sure, there are some things, many things, that will improve your odds. If you wear nice clothes rather than something out of a dumpster, or you shower once a day instead of once a week.

There’s a myth that you can do or say certain things that will make her like you. Take a close look at that last sentence.

If a girl is to like “you,” then your words and behaviors have to be an accurate representation of “you.” Which means if you’re looking for somebody to tell you what to do or what to say, then you’re not really being “you.” 

This is one reason many guys crash and burn after only a short while. If you practice your game until it’s really tight, sure you can pull it off for a while. But sooner or later, you’re going to run out of material.

If you’ve ever talked to a stand up comedian in real life, you know they are usually pretty different in person, in an unscripted, un televised, unrehearsed conversation. Some people make the mistake of thinking they’re always running around telling funny stories to everybody they meet.

Sure, if all you care about is short term flings, then this will work very, very well. But if you want something more, you’ve got to be somebody that she is attracted to.

Meaning when she gets to know the real you, which she will eventually, she’s got to KEEP that level of attraction.

Which means that it if you’re looking for something long term, using any kind of game technology that’s NOT part of who you are might not be a great idea. 

It might even lead to the wrong conclusion about women in general, one that is very prevalent today. You practice a little bit of game, you use some techniques to increase her attraction. You get some success, but then you run out of material, she loses interest, and she’s gone.

If all you know is the above scenario, it may seem like all women are shallow, immoral creatures who’ll only stick around if you’ve got a lot of money.

If that’s how you feel, you may want to step back a bit, and dial down the game. Just be yourself. I know that on all kinds of dating forums this is the worst possible advice.

But many guys confuse “being yourself” with “being a nice guy.” Being a nice guy is the furthest thing from being yourself.

A nice guy is terrified of rejection, so he’s ultra careful about what he says or does.

But when you are yourself, you’re yourself no matter WHO you are talking to.

Sure, if you’re talking to some old lady in line at the supermarket, you might not want to cuss like a sailor, but you can certainly talk like you normally talk to your buddies.

Same with girls at the club, or girls at the library.

Talk to them like normal people, and you may be surprised.