Category Archives: How To Talk To Girls

Beware Of Seduction Patterns

Does Paint By Numbers Seduction Really Exist?

Paint By Numbers Pick Up?

There’s a lot of patterns out there that allegedly will help you get laid.

You memorize them, say them in the right order, and suddenly she’ll turn into your willing sex slave.

Now, just for a minute, imagine what the world would be like if this were actually true. First of all, everybody would be getting laid all the time.

It would be like in the movie, “Bruce Almighty,” when Bruce became God, and started answering “Yes!” to everybody’s prayers.

Good news? Everybody won the lottery.

Bad news? Their winnings were only about $1, since everybody won.

If there WAS some kind of magic string of words that would turn girls into raving sex maniacs, no girl would ever leave her house.

She’d be too terrified.

What if you knew that there was a magic set of words that would transfer ALL the money in your bank account into the person who said these magic words?

AND that anybody could learn these magic words on the internet, for free?

You’d keep all your cash in your house, that’s what. 

Simply because girls go out and talk to random guys is proof that magic words simply don’t exist.

Nor do convoluted language patterns and pick up techniques.

Don’t mean to burst your bubble, but if any “paint by numbers” technique existed, it wouldn’t last very long.

So stop looking for what to say, or what to do, and how exactly to use kino.

The secret of success, in ANY AREA, including getting girls, is simple.

Try something.

See what happens.

Did it work? Good. Do more.

No? No sweat. Try something different.

So, why don’t more guys understand this, and use this simple step by step “procedure” to getting laid (or getting whatever?)

It’s in the “try something” phase.

This part requires doing something WITHOUT KNOWING how it will turn out. Most people (let alone guys who want to pick up girls) are absolutely and utterly TERRIFIED of doing this.

So we “pretend” that we just  need to “learn more” or “study more” or whatever other lie we tell ourselves to keep us from getting rejected. Usually this involves us sitting around waiting for somebody to “tell us” what to do.

Milton Erickson, one of the most famous Hypnotherapists of all time (and upon whom most of NLP is based) had this genius “homework session” for one of his clients.

Guy comes in, and says he’s terrified of rejection. He’d like a girlfriend, but he’s terrified of talking to girls. 

What should I do, doc? 

Does Erickson talk about his childhood? His deep feelings about his mom? Does he make him memorize a bunch of language patterns?

Nope.

Erickson (who had a HUGE success rate only after one or two sessions) merely said this:

“OK, Mr. Client. I promise I can cure you. Do what I say, and you’ll have a girlfriend in no time.”

“Great doc! Thanks! I’ll do anything. What do I do?”

Doc says, “Go out and get rejected ten times, and then come see me next week.”

Client swallows and says OK. He comes back the next week.

“Well,” Doc says, “Did you get rejected ten times?”

“Nope.” Client says, smiling.

“Well, what happened?”

“Well, I got rejected six times, but girl number seven is now my girlfriend.”

See how that works?

Get in the game.

mindpersuasion.com

Here’s What Women Really Like

Secrets Of Female Desire

Secrets Of Female Desire

There’s some crazy tests they’ve done to see what turns men on, and what turns women on.

These are NOT those lame tests where they ASK people what turns them on. People generally give answers they THINK they should.

Luckily, science ALWAYS finds out how to get around human deception.

One way is to measure the size of the pupil. When we see something we like, our pupils get bigger. 

So they set up these ultra sensitive measuring eyeball things and flash a bunch of pictures.

And what do guys like looking at (according to their pupils)?

Girls. Girls in bikinis. Girls in bikinis with big boobs. Naked girls. Naked girls with big boobs. Naked girls with big boobs kissing each other.

OK, Ok, you get the idea.

Big surprise, right?

What makes girls pupils get bigger?

Babies.

Yep, among all the things, those do it for girls the most.

The moral of the story, then, is that when you’re going out picking up girls, bring a baby.

Just kidding.

But what this DOES tell us that when they flashed pictures of guys with ripped abs, all kinds of bling, even super gorgeous dudes that just walked off the cover of Men’s Health, the girls (according to their pupils) were, “Yea, whatever.”

Which means your body shape, your looks, your bling, your six pack (the one on your stomach or the one in that brown bag you think nobody sees) doesn’t mean squat.

Now, to some guys, this is great news. Most of us don’t belong on the cover of Men’s Health. I know I don’t (except maybe to show what happens when diet and exercise plans fail miserably).

But the folks who DO get angry at this are folks who spend tons of time in the gym, or tons of money on clothes.

They seem to believe they can follow the same playbook girls can. Meaning get in shape, dress nice, and just show up and wait for the girls to flock, like they’re peahens or something.

Here’s a newsflash. (One you already know).

The BEST way to get a girl to notice you, to get her fired up, to get her to want to go home with you (or at least give you her number), is to go up and TALK to her.

That means walking over there, introducing yourself, and find out what she’s all about, and letting her know what you’re all about.

Of course, HOW you talk to her will make all the difference. NOT what you’re wearing while you do.

Learn How:

mindpersuasion.com

Train Out Approach Anxiety With Mind Control

How To Evaporate Approach Anxiety

Total Control Of Your Feelings

Your brain is filled up with literally millions of memories.

What’s more, each and every memory can be seen in plenty of different ways. The older you get, the more you “understand” what your parents were trying to tell you as a kid.

This, of course, can be a double edged sword.

Since you can pretty much reference any memories with any flavor in an instant, you can use your own experience to validate any hair-brained idea that pops into your head.

If you think women are evil and will only hurt you, you’ll find plenty of personal memories to support that.

If you think women are all Angels of Heaven who were put here to bring sensual pleasure to God’s Earth, you’ll find THAT evidence in your past as well. 

It all depends on how willing you are to look for evidence CONTRARY to what you THINK is true.

Confirmation bias doesn’t ONLY color what we see in the world.

It colors which memories we decide to call up.

And here’s something else to wrap your mind around.

The collective color or energy of the memories you call up (usually within a few microseconds) will determine your state.

Your level of confidence, stress, verbal flexibility, motivation, and even your heart rate, breathing levels and perspiration (or lack thereof.).

All from the ten or twenty memories you pull up out of a memory bank of millions.

If you don’t like the way you “feel” in certain situations, it’s simply a matter of learning how to change your reference memories.

Just like building muscle memory, this takes time. If you want to naturally play the piano without thinking, you’re going to need to slowly go through each chord and play every note slowly and methodically, to build in that muscle-brain-sound memory.

Do that enough, and you can play anything by ear, instantly and perfectly.

Same goes with girls.

If you want to feel confident around girls, you’ve got to practice feeling confident. How do you do that?

First, decide what you’d like to feel.

Then, come up with a bunch of memories that MAKE you feel that way.

Then go into a situation where you’d LIKE to feel that way.

Then, just like practicing piano scales, FORCE yourself to slowly recall those memories, that make those feelings bubble up in your brain.

Now, this won’t be instantaneous, and it won’t be easy. Your thoughts are like a slippery eel on meth in vat of salad oil, so holding them won’t be easy.

And to be honest, most guys aren’t willing to do something like this. They’d rather pay for some imaginary quick fix instead of putting in some real work.

But consider what will happen if you DID put in the work.

Imagine six months or so from now, when you can walk up to anybody, anywhere, any time and feel TOTALLY comfortable, and TOTALLY on top of your game.

What will you do then?

Learn More:

mindpersuasion.com

Brass Tacks And Hot Girls

Everything In Life Is A Negotiation

What Most Guys Are Afraid To Know About Girls

Many guys tend to see women as the “enemy.”

Meaning if they walk up to a girl, and don’t get what they want, then it’s some kind of female conspiracy. Or if they go out and get shot down by every girl they approach, they go home bitter and angry.

To be sure, it can seem like an adversarial relationship. On a very deep level, women are programmed to find men to “seem like” good resource providers. And men are programmed to find women to “seem” like good baby makers.

It’s kind of like we’re both, on a VERY subconscious level, trying to pull one over on each other. Guys try getting as much as they can, while giving as little as they can, so do girls. It’s just the way of life.

If you walk into any store where the price is negotiable, it’s the same way. The sales clerk, while pretending to be your long-lost bestest buddy, will charge you as much as possible.

You, on the other hand, while being ultra friendly, are hoping he gets ZERO commissions.

Friendly on the surface, but adversarial on a deeper level.

But like they say in Ancient Rome, “Caveat Emptor.” Which means it’s up to YOU, the customer, to make sure you’re getting a good deal. It’s not up to the store, or the advertisers, or the sales clerk. That job falls squarely on YOU.

Perhaps the reason for so much anger towards women is that guys EXPECT to get something. Then when they don’t get it, they feel cheated.

Like if your goofball neighbor lied to you about the price he paid for his car, telling you he got it for 10K less than he really did.

You go to the shop, asking for the same price, and they look at you like you’re nuts. This of course, makes you angry, as you feel like they’re trying to pull one over on you.

If you want success with women, it’s up to YOU to make it happen. Nobody’s going to give it to you. Women aren’t some magic “reward” for graduating college, or getting a good job, or finally getting that promotion.

They aren’t a “prize” and neither are you.

You are a negotiator and so is she.

And both are you are trying, hoping, to enter into a long term agreement with each other that BOTH parties get what they want, at a reasonable cost.

If you want an attractive woman in your life who spins your propellers in the right ways, YOU’VE got to be an attractive man in HER life to spin HER propellers the right ways.

That requires negotiation. Usually a lot.

This will help:

Frame Control

Blast Away Approach Anxiety

How To Talk To Any Girl Without Fear Or Anxiety

How To Make Talking To Girls Easy

Here’s a quick set of mind tricks that will help you when you’re out talking to the ladies.

Whenever humans encounter a new situation that’s potentially beneficial, our brains quickly go through a couple of “scanning” processes.

The first thing is to imagine the “best case” scenario, and the next is to imagine the “worst case” scenario.

Then it calculates the likelihood of each happening, followed by the “strength” of each potential outcome.

I know this sounds like a LOT, but our brains are incredibly FAST.

Problem is they pay for that speed by not being very accurate.

So when your brain scans the past, it’s only going to grab a few of the “strongest” memories.

And since most guys have a LOT of memories of getting rejected by ladies, (real or imagined) your brain’s going to come back with a big fat DANGER signal.

THIS is where all that anxiety comes from.

How do you get rid of this anxiety?

Easy. Simply rewire your brain. 

How?

Two ways.

One is to take conscious control of your thoughts while out in the field. While you’re looking a girl you’d like to approach (based on IOI’s, flirting eye contact, etc.), literally FORCE your brain to think of positive memories with girls.

Think of the last time you had sex, or kissed a girl, or a girl looked at you in that special way.

And HOLD THAT thought while you’re walking over there and talking to her. This DOES take mental effort, but so long as you FORCE your brain to hold that thought, it will keep any fear from creeping in there. It’s not a “once and done” thought. It’s a “grab and hold” thought.

This may sound simple, but it is very, very difficult. If you’ve ever meditated, you know how difficult it is to force your brain to think of something simple, like a candle, or simple numbers from one to ten.

But your concentration is just like a muscle. The more you practice, the stronger it will get.

The SECOND way is to actually go out and CREATE positive responses from women.

This means walking up (or close to her) getting her to smile, and then leaving.

You need to build up a huge memory bank of experiences in your mind with YOU leaving a girl who WANTED YOU TO STAY.

Now, this may seem easy, but it’s VERY difficult. As soon as you get a nice smile, your caveman brain will be SCREAMING at you to go and talk to her. To hang out and hope for some good stuff.

In order for this to work, you’ve got to NOT do that.

If you do practice these two mental tricks regularly, you’ll be amazed how fast that approach anxiety vanishes.

Even more if you put this in the mix:

Frame Control

Basic Elements Of Female Desire

How To Get Her To Fall In Love With You

Automatically Push Her Buttons

How do you create attraction in a woman? Easy.

This is going to sound HORRIBLY un-PC, but Mother Nature isn’t the kindest lass in the land.

Guys like girls for physical reasons. Girls like guys for behavior reasons.

This is from evolution of course, when a girl was chosen for her ability to have healthy kids that would have a good chance to grow up. This meant she was young and disease free, had decent sized boobs, and was symmetric in as many ways as possible.

Like I said, Mother Nature doesn’t care much about our feelings.

Girls on the other hand, didn’t develop a craving for looks. She needs somebody who can take care of her, and bring home the bacon repeatedly for at least 5-10 years.

She can’t tell this by looking at the guy. Sure he might be chiseled with six pack, but if he was a social goof who didn’t play well with others,  he’d never get much meat. He wouldn’t be able to feed her kids.

Back then, hunting was like playing football. (American OR Euro style). It was a team effort. If you couldn’t play well with others, you were SOL.

So she would always check and see how he behaved with others, to decide subconsciously if he was a “quality male” or not. Like it or not, his perceived social status was everything.

Today, that still holds true. If you show up with your six pack, tight shirt, and all kinds of bling, you may be “eye candy” but unless you can hold your own in a conversation, she won’t give you a second thought.

The crucial skills to develop if you want to win a ladies heart is social skills, self confidence, social intelligence, and the ability to maintain a slightly dominant, but friendly frame with whomever you are speaking with.

Luckily, you can practice this ANYWHERE. Supermarkets, post office lines, school, even with dudes down at your local pub.

Sure, you’ve got to talk to ladies occasionally, but not all the time.

And when you develop enough social skills, self confidence, and frame control, you won’t need much else.

Learn How:

Frame Control

Have You Discovered Your True Purpose?

Overcome Fear With Easy Mind Control

How To Embrace and Overcome Fear

Your history is one of incredibly accomplishment.

Despite how we humans try and take away risk and uncertainty, there’s still plenty to go around.

I read this very interesting history book a while back that said the story of man is a story of a timid, fearful, and lazy people trying to invent new things to make life easier, safer and less scary.

Regardless of who you are and where you come from, you’ve demonstrated countless times that you are fully capable of facing risk in the face, taking action, and getting what you want.

The fact that you are reading this now is proof of this.

So why do we still feel timid, afraid and on the fence whenever an opportunity presents itself?

One of the reasons is our brains are hard wired to be more aware of potential danger than potential opportunities.

This is a biological, chemical and physical aspect of our brains. The neural pathways that carry fear based impulses are physically thicker than the pathways that carry potential pleasure.

We all like to eat, right? Imagine you’re sitting there in your favorite restaurant, about to dig into your favorite food. Just as you’re about to bite into it, a huge tiger appears to your right.

What happens to your hunger? It vanishes quicker than a sliver of ice in a volcano!

On a very basic, primitive level, moving toward pleasure is great, so long as our lives aren’t in danger.

But as I’m sure you know, living in the modern world is rarely a life or death decision. Far far from it.

But our primitive brains sometimes can’t tell the difference.

Sure, you might logically conclude that there’s no danger walking over and talking to that interesting looking stranger, but  your subconscious might have something to say about it.

But as I mentioned above, you’ve got a HUGE collection of experiences where you looked fear in the eye, laughed at it, and took action anyhow.

Once you learn how to access THOSE memories, automatically, instead of those other ones, it will be easy.

Instead of seeming like some scary event after scary event, life will become an adventure. Trying and “failing” won’t feel bad, it will feel good. Because every step, no matter what happens, is a step closer to what you want.

No matter what it is.

That’s what the Frame Control program is all about. To shift your automatic thinking from recalling times when you felt like a “victim” to those times when you were a champion.

When that happens, you’ll walk the Earth with a purpose.

And many people will follow.

Get started:

Frame Control

How To Skyrocket Your Attraction

Get Everybody On Your Johnson

How To Make All The Girls Want You

Most guys have several fears about approaching a girl and getting rejected.

To be sure, it’s that moment where she says “no” that’s pretty painful.

It’s also pretty painful, as most guys imagine everybody else is watching them.

One more reason it sucks is because most guys have been told or taught that if you try and number close every girl in the joint, you’ll be seen as some player who’s only after short term flings.

Now if you ARE only after short term flings, then that’s not a big deal.

But here’s something to consider. People ARE watching you, especially girls. And in that first moment you walk up to a girl, all the other girls who’ve got you on their radar (which is usually a lot more than you think) are thinking the same thing:

“Why’s he talking to HER?”

As I’m sure you know, girls are terribly competitive. Even if they have ZERO intentions of giving our their number, they STILL don’t like it when you approach somebody else and not them.

This is pretty fun to see when you’re actually looking for it. To see it in action, try this out:

Go somewhere where you can sit and watch people walking by. Then wait until there’re a couple of girls walking toward you, that are a good distance apart. Like maybe opposite sides of the street or something.

Then OBVIOUSLY check out one of them, long enough for the other one to notice (which won’t take long).

Then as soon as you STOP checking out girl A, quickly look at girl B on the sly. She’ll almost ALWAYS be staring at girl A, wondering why you were checking her out.

Bottom line, even if you aren’t a player, are good looking, or have any bling to speak of, girls will STILL get jealous when you talk to other girls instead of them.

But this will be significantly REDUCED if you’re going up and getting shot down all the time.

So here’s a really good way to increase your charisma, magnetism and attraction. Go and talk to a few girls, but DON’T try to close them. Your ONLY goal is to get them to smile.

As soon as you get a genuine smile or laugh, EJECT. Be nice, say nice talking to you, whatever, but LEAVE while they still have that smile on their face.

If you do this with three or four girls, separated out by twenty minutes or so, the other girls in the place will be going CRAZY.

So long as you’re not in some super loud nightclub packed wall to wall like sardines, this will work pretty good.

Then after you’ve had your fun, go and close somebody for real. 

To give you even more power, check this out:

Frame Control

How To Approach A Girl For The First Time

The Best Approach Angle For Success

Defocus With Congruence

It’s funny how things that are true on a huge, galactic scale are also true on a tiny, microcosmic scale.

Solar systems are made of suns with planets orbiting around them. Planets have moons orbiting around them. Atoms are made of a nucleus with electrons orbiting around it.

Interacting with girls is the same way, both on a large scale, and on a microcosmic scale.

For example, most guys know instinctively if you make girls the sole purpose of your life, you won’t get very far. 

Sure, there are some world famous pick up artists that are actually homeless, but because of their super tight game, they just move from relationship to relationship, always staying with the girls they are currently with. 

Even though they’re homeless, they never have to spend a single night on the street.

Now, for some, this would be a dream come true. But for most normal guys, this would kind of suck. It’s nice to have your own place, your own car, your own money, your own job and a boss who appreciated what you do and would fight tooth and nail to keep you on board.

In the big scheme of things, having a girl is a great PART of your life, to be sure. And all that comes with that later on (family, etc, if that’s what you want.)

But that shouldn’t be the central FOCUS of your life.

Similarly when you go out, making girls the most important focus isn’t likely the best strategy. Most guys, when they think back to the best nights of their lives, according to their interactions with females, were nights where they DIDN’T specifically go out looking for girls.

Take a look at this on an even smaller scale. Suppose you’re in some place with your boys, having fun. You see a cutie across the room, and you trade a few flirty eye locks.

If you dropped everything and walked over there while staring straight at her as if she were the ONLY person in the world, she’d likely flee in terror.

That’s why it’s always a good strategy to kind of “show up” next to her. Then simply “ease yourself” into a conversation with her.

Now, if you’re doing this as part of your “game,” and while you “pretend” to be nonchalant, you can’t get your mind off her, it might not work as well.

But if you’re attitude is to “make your way over there,” and “see what she’s like,” AND it’s congruent with your attitude toward girls both in life and that night, you’ll be much more successful.

You and she will be more relaxed when you talk. You’ll both be less likely to “put on your game face” and try any short term tricks.

Which means if you DO hit it off, it will be real, and not fake.

Now, holding that frame of mind can be tough.

This will help:

Frame Control

The Exchange Model Of Seduction

Exchange Emotions Instead of Beg For Them

Get Your Mind Right!

There’s one problem that’s pretty common (among guys) when getting out and interacting with females. An overestimation of HER worth, and an underestimation of YOUR worth.

The thing to understand about ALL human interactions they are based on exchange.

Sure, when we’re kids and in a family, we just get what we need without really having to give anything back.

But once we grow up and put on our big boy pants, that crap needs to get tossed out the window.

Nobody’s going to give you anything just because you think you deserve it.

Especially girls, girls who have options (which is the kind of girls you SHOULD be going after, but that’s another argument completely.)

In order for any girl worth her salt to spend any time with you, she’s got to be getting something out of the deal.

She needs to benefit just much as you are benefiting.

Granted, this all happens on a subconscious level, but it’s still there.

If you don’t create those emotions and feelings in her that she wants from you, she’s not going to give you those emotions and feelings you want from her.

Luckily, this is pretty automatic. Both men and women are hard wired to reciprocate when we get out buttons pushed in the right way.

The only trouble comes when you assume she’s got more to offer you than you’ve got to offer her.

To make it worse,  if you walk to her with an emotional “trade deficit” AND an expectation that she SHOULD feel a certain way, it’s going to make it even harder.

Both of these problems go hand in hand. Which means once you get rid of one, you’ll usually get rid of the other.

How do you do this?

First, understand how attraction works. We usually need to feel attraction first, before we are willing to create attraction in others, even subconsciously.

No girl is going to be sweet and feminine and affectionate with you unless she ALREADY feels those feelings for you.

The next step is to stop overestimating her value, AND to stop underestimating your own value.

Don’t walk over there with a puffed up chest thinking your king Alpha of the Planet, but DO have an honest appreciation for your strong points.

Then just go over and talk to her.

See it as a discovery process. Show her what you’ve got, and see what she’s got.

If you’re both feeling it, good job. If not, it’s NOBODY’S fault. Nobody’s cheating anybody. Nobody is manipulating anybody. Nobody’s dissing anybody.

Think of it like setting up a booth at your local flea market. Do you get super pissed when people wander by without buying anything? Nope. You just hang until you see people that ARE interested in what you’ve got.

Luckily, for most guys, that only means finding ONE girl when it comes to romance.

So get out there and mingle until you find her.

This will help:

Frame Control