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How To Conjure Social Proof

How To Conjure Social Proof

Easily Increase Attraction

One thing that can almost always help you is social proof. This is often misunderstood, and sometimes confused with “authority.” The two often go hand in hand.

Simply stated, social proof is when many people are doing something, and it makes that “thing” seem more attractive, purely because the crowd is doing it.

The paradox of social proof is that every single human on Earth is hard wired to respond to it, while at the same time, all of us will argue that it doesn’t have any effect on us at all.

For example, let’s say you’re walking down the street and you see a crowd lined up outside a particular store. Social proof is the crowd, and simply because the crowd is there, you are interested. If you walk up and you see them all holding fistfuls of money buying some shiny object, social proof will also make you want to buy it, even though you don’t know what it is.

Then later on, when you get home, you’ll have come up with some rational, logical reason why you bought that object. Even though you really believe these are the real reasons, they’re really just excuses. 

Whatever you are selling, if you have social proof, it’s a LOT easier to sell.

If you walk into a club with three or four girls, you’ll be a LOT more attractive. If these girls are attractive themselves, you’ll have to do VERY LITTLE work to get pretty much every girl in the club interested in you.

To make matters even BETTER, all the girls will also notice that every other girl is also interested in you, which will give you even MORE social proof.

So long as you have decent social skills, and can hold a regular conversation, it will be VERY EASY to get what  you’re after.

The problem is, of course, is that few guys have three or four girls to “wing” for them at the club.

Sure, you could hire some, and it would work, but it would be expensive.

But there’s another way. One that will give you almost the same result.

The first part is to simply talk to girls anywhere and everywhere, with two objectives. One is to get their names, two is to find out something interesting about them. That’s it. This is your “ammunition.”

Then, when you’re out and trying to meet girls for real, just start talking to any girl who’s attractive enough and giving you enough IOI’s.

This will be easy since you’ve been talking to girls everywhere.

Then, whenever you can, mention one of those girls, and that thing you found about her that’s interesting. So long as that interesting thing is appropriate for your current conversation, you can slide it right in.

And when you are vague who that particular girl is you are referencing, even better.

For example, don’t say, “This girl Betty I talked to at the post office and whom I’ll never see again said she also likes hang gliding.”

Say this instead:

“Oh you like hang gliding? This girl Betty I know also likes hang gliding. How long have you been doing it?”

And then just leave it at that. The girl you’re currently talking to will start wondering who “Betty” is, and will assume you two are together, or were together, or something.

Giving you social proof.

Do You Have Faith In Yourself?

Magic Or Science

Magic Or Science?

When I was a kid, I thought it would be the coolest things to read minds.

I went to this theme park with my brother, and this guy was doing this animal show.

He would get the participant to whisper a specific item in the dog’s ear, and then the dog would come back with the item.

I didn’t believe it until I got called up to the stage, and sure enough, I whispered an item in the dog’s ear and he brought it to me.

I was flabbergasted until I got home and my brother explained how the trick worked.

All stage magic is like that. It looks really cool, until you figure out how to do the trick.

Funny thing is we KNOW that’s going to happen. Our curiosity gets the best of us. We want to know how the trick is done, even though it will ruin the magic.

Of course, this is just pretend magic, not real magic. 

What is real magic?

It depends on who you ask. Scientists tell us that magic is any kind of technology that is beyond the current level of human understanding.

But what about any kind of technology that will ALWAYS be beyond human understanding?

On the one hand, we kind of HAVE to live in a universe that’s got specific rules. Otherwise random stuff would just keep happening, and the physical laws which bind our own bodies together might stop working.

But on the other hand, I’ve no doubt that there are MANY things going on that humans will NEVER grasp, at least in this lifetime.

But that doesn’t mean they aren’t there. That they aren’t real.

Even if you’re not a religious person, there’s plenty to be said for having a strong faith.

Even when we try something that’s a little bit outside of our comfort zone, we are demonstrating faith in ourselves.

Anytime we do something when we’re not sure what’s going to happen, we’re demonstrating faith that we ARE smart enough and courageous enough to figure out what to do once we figure out what’s going on.

The more you faith you have in yourself, the more stuff you’ll be able to do.

Most people don’t like to hear this. Most people are looking for a guaranteed, step by step, sure fire, no risk system that will get them what they want.

That only happens on TV.

But real magic requires knowing that YOU are much more than YOU think you are.

And having the faith to take action, if only to find out who YOU truly are.

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How To Develop Ultra Strong Frame Control

Massive Frame Control

Bear Theory

You’ve heard that story of the two guys out hiking who saw the bear, right?

One guy starts putting on his running shoes, and the other guys says he can’t out run a bear.

To which the first guy says, “I don’t need to outrun the bear, I only need to outrun you.”

Remember this joke next time you’re out where the ladies are. Take a look around. You don’t have to be the super alpha of the world to get a decent girl. You only need to be slightly more alpha than all the other goofs around.

Even better, you only really need to be more alpha than the last few guys she’s talked to. No need to out-alpha a guy she’s never talked to, and won’t likely talk to, right?

Here’s another application of bear theory.

Whoever has the strongest frame will control the flow of the conversation. This isn’t so PC, but girls are hard wired to be attracted to a guy who can lead. A guy that has a stronger frame than she does. She won’t admit this, and she probably doesn’t know this. 

After all, attraction is not something we can conjure up at will. It just happens. Girls fall for guys all the time when they have no idea why. But now YOU know.

In fact, many times when a girl tests a guy, it’s to VERIFY that his seemingly strong frame is real, and not fake.

So, how do you have a stronger frame than hers? Easy. Just hold a thought longer than she can hold a contrary thought.

Meaning if you’re talking about something, and she tries to change the subject, pace whatever she said, but eventually lead the conversation back to where it was before. This is pure leading 101.

Girls LOVE a guy who can lead. Girls LOATHE guys who need to follow.

You can practice this without even talking to her. Just find a place where you can make eye contact with plenty of girls,  stationary or not.

Then practice “frame wars.”

Simply pick a girl you think is cute. Look at her and smile. Forget anything and just enjoy looking at her.

If she looks at you, HOLD that feeling, and HOLD your eye contact. Do not waver. This is practice only, it’s not intended to get any kind of particular result. The easier you can do this, the stronger your frame will be.

Ideally, you want to hold it while she looks at you, looks away, and then looks back. Even if she looks back a third time, DON’T CHANGE ANYTHING.

Hold your posture, your gaze, your thoughts, your smile, even your eyeballs.

If she comes over and talks to you fine, but she probably won’t. Eventually she’ll go back to what she was doing.

BONUS if she’s with three or four friends, and she mentions to them, and THEY all look at you.

DON’T look at them. Only her. Remember, this is practice.

The idea is to practice holding your frame, regardless of what happens.

If you do this consistently, you’ll be amazed what happens.

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Your Inner And Outer Light

Two Way Motivation

Two Way Motivation

It’s easy to “perform” when there are some strong incentives.

If you had a pretty good job, with pretty good money, and had to be there every morning at 7 AM, you wouldn’t have a problem waking up in the morning.

Having an external, negative incentive (you’d get fired if you showed up late too often) is one strong motivating factor.

Most of us are driven largely by negative incentives, or by pain. Meaning we are more motivated to move away from pain than we are to move toward pleasure.

For example, you’ll find no shortage of “diets” that famous people follow to lose weight in order to get those awesome looking bodies we see in the movies.

But here’s the thing. If YOU were going to get a few million dollars to be in a movie, but the ONLY way you would get it if you got yourself in really decent shape, you’d have NO PROBLEM doing so.

It’s not really the specific diet that gets them into shape, it’s the motivation.

Not only negative, but also positive. Meaning on the one hand, they’re terrified of losing out, and getting rejected by Hollywood. But they’re also thrilled at increasing their fame and social status.

This is what happens when you figure out how to be motivated not only by moving AWAY from pain, but TOWARD pleasure.

Most of us move away from pain just long enough so we can sit on the couch in front of the TV for a few hours.

Those that figure out to move toward pleasure, as well as away from pain, tend to do much, much better in life.

Of course, the first thing you need to do is establish your own personal pleasure you’re going after.

I’m not talking about short term pleasure, like that ice cream in your freezer. I’m talking about huge, long term pleasure out in the future.

A perfect relationship, a great career, a feeling of spiritual peace and connection.

Those things will simply not happen if you’re ONLY motivated away from pain.

The thing is that all of us, on a very deep and fundamental level, are hard wired to WANT those things. Those perfect relationships, careers that maximize our skills and intelligence while filling up our bank accounts.

But they don’t happen naturally. You’ve got to get up off the couch and get moving. Sometimes for a while before you figure out where you’re going.

Before you get on the path you KNOW is the right path for you, there will be some trial and error.

This is normal, natural, and part of the process. Otherwise, you wouldn’t feel that thrill of discovery when you DO discover the right path.

One way that can help considerably is to open up your higher self. Get in touch with the part of you that is waiting to be pulled toward the light, rather than merely away from the darkness.

Once you discover the light within, it will be much easier to find the light without.

Learn How:

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How To Get Better At Talking To Girls

Always Choose An End Point For Practicing

Determine The End Point BEFORE You Talk To Her

No matter what you want to get better at, practice is the only way. When we go to school, there are subjects, and there are skills. If you’re learning something like history, this is clearly a subject. You memorize all the names, dates, intentions behind all the actions, and you’re in good shape. You can use your regular thinking to understand events.

Other “subjects” are more like skills. Math for example. The only way you can get better at math is by practicing math. If you tried to memorize some equations, it wouldn’t get you very far. Language and sports are the same way. If you tried to get better at basketball by studying some books in the library, you wouldn’t be a very good basketball player. 

Sure, you could talk about it intelligently, you could sound like you knew what was going on. But if somebody put a ball in your hand, you wouldn’t know what to do.

All human relationships are skills like that. If you want to get better at sales, you’ll need to practice. If you wanted to get better at public speaking, the only way would be to practice. If you wanted to get better at negotiating, the only way would be to practice.

Talking to girls is the same way. For some reason, many guys imagine that talking to girls is something you can learn from a book or by reading various forums. Sure, this can help you in between practice sessions, but it is by no means a substitute for practice.

One problem that comes up is separating practice from the real thing. If you were practicing basketball, you’d do drills, and you’d have scrimmages, or practice games. You wouldn’t worry too much about the practice games, only the games with other teams.

But for some reason, when guys go out, they rarely see it as practice. They always see it as the real thing. Which means they don’t see it as a learning experience. It’s always in the frame of “success or failure.” And unless you’re a stone cold natural from birth, you’ll have many more failures than successes.

This makes it INCREDIBLY hard to get out there. Imagine if you were on a basketball team and the ONLY time you ever even dribbled a ball was during a regular game! You’d have to lose plenty of games through plenty of seasons before you got any good.

That’s why you should PRACTICE with girls, much more often than you talk to them for real. How do you practice? Choose an end point BEFORE you talk to her, and stick to it.

For example, if you are OK with flirting but can’t open to save your life, go out and PRACTICE opening. Don’t worry what happens next. Just see it as practice. Don’t worry about closing or even exchanging names. Once you start talking to her, YOU’RE DONE. Exit gracefully and find somebody else.

This is much harder than it sounds. Guys are genetically wired to go as far as we can with every single girl. But if you force yourself to practice, you’ll get a lot better, a lot more quickly.

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Unleash Your Relentless Self

Internal Peace Of Mind

Create A Quiet Place In Your Mind

I had this cool physics instructor once.

Super genius, but also super soft spoken.

He was once giving a lecture, and in his soft spoken voice, and he’d said that physics was like basketball. You can only get better if you practice.

He made the comparison to watching somebody teach how to execute some type of basketball move. It’s one thing to understand how it’s done, it’s something else completely to be able to do it yourself.

That only comes with practice.

There’s a lot of misconception in the world of NLP. It’s taught, and marketed as some kind of “once and done” system where all you have to do is sit there and soak up some knowledge from some “guru” and suddenly become an NLP genius.

When people say they’ve been “trained” in NLP, that’s what they usually mean. They’ve been to an intensive seminar. Maybe a couple weeks. They’ve done some one on one practice within the seminar (where everything usually works perfectly).

If you met somebody at a party, and they said they were a classically trained pianist, what would you imagine about their “training”?

That they’d gone to a two week intensive piano seminar, and practiced a couple of songs?

Not likely. Most people would imagine they’d spent YEARS studying under some taskmaster genius, who had them doing drill after drill, until they could play the classics beautifully, emotionally, and flawlessly.

Unless you’re doing something incredibly simple, like making toast, or buying a subway ticket, mastering ANY skill is going to take time.

And MOST skills are never “master-able.” Meaning you’ll NEVER get to a point where you can sit back and say, “Yep, I pretty much got THAT all figured out!”

Even professional athletes, who have been practicing their art since they were kids, strike out (or whatever the equivalent) plenty of time.

Life is much, much more than learning a couple of tricks, and then sitting pretty.

It’s about constantly learning, growing, risking, failing, trying again, succeeding, achieving fantastic breakthroughs after long spans of nothing.

All in completely random and unpredictable order.

There’s NO guaranteed step by step process, other than figuring out what you want, trying something, and seeing what happens.

Most people are terrified of this. Most are desperate to be told what to do, and then be able to blame somebody when anything goes wrong.

One thing that will help is having a rock solid faith in yourself. Not that you’ll succeed, but that no matter what happens, you’ll be able to figure out what to do next.

Fear is incredibly paralyzing. But once you take action, the fear will vanish. And so long as you keep forward momentum going, no matter how small, you will NEVER fail.

Having a quiet place to retreat to, to regroup and re-strengthen yourself, can help.

That way, you’ll ALWAYS come back stronger.

Learn More:

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Should You Learn Fractionation?

There Are No Magic Bullets

Do Magic Bullets Even Exist?

There’s a lot of confusion about certain techniques in covert hypnosis as it applies to seduction. One of those is something called “fractionation.” This is a proven technique that shows up pretty much everywhere, and has been used very effectively in traditional hypnosis.

However, because it’s kind of confusing, and vague, some marketers have treated it like some magic bullet that can instantly get a girl ready to go. This is not really true. Not even close.

The truth about fractionation is that is one technique, among many, that can accelerate a process. But in order to use fractionation to accelerate the process, you’ve got to first be able to do the process. Fractionation is NOT a replacement for the process.

So, what IS the process? Talking to a girl, and getting her feeling those special feelings when she thinks about you. If you can do this during the first meeting, you’re doing pretty good.

Now, this is pretty vague. How do you talk to her and get her thinking those special feelings? There’s a million ways to do that. It depends on the girl. It depends on you. It depends on the location. It depends how you compare in her mind to the last five or ten goofs that have tried to pick her up.

In fact, there are so many variables that are always changing, there is simply NO WAY to come up with a memorized set of behavior patterns that will work. The ONLY way to develop the skills to get her feeling those good feelings is to simply talk to as many girls as you can, and try to get as many of them feeling those feelings as you can.

Naturally, you’ll fail most of the time.

But think of what human life on Earth would be like if any goof could memorize a bunch of techniques and then go out and get any girl dreaming of sex? The entire planet would be populated by single guys and single mothers who have no clue who the father is!

Luckily, this is not the case. Luckily, girls DO have certain criteria, conscious or not, for the guy they want to hook up with. And unless you meet this criteria, you aren’t going to get far.

Luckily, one of these criteria that’s VERY important is a guy who’s got really good social skills. And the only way to GET really good social skills is to get out there and be social.

You CANNOT learn social skills by studying techniques or memorizing patterns.

But the more you get out there and practice, the more fun you’ll have, and the more attractive you’ll become.

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Shine Your Light

Shine Your Light

Be An Example To Others

I saw this interesting question on some financial web site the other day.

It was one of those questions designed to seem simple, but with an unexpected answer. The idea being you’d click through to read more about their financial services.

The question was about interest rates, something people generally don’t know much about.

Some say this is on purpose, so bankers can take advantage of more people.

For example, one way to describe a loan is “renting money.” Meaning they give you money, then you give them the money back, plus interest. Since you’ve got to pay them every month, like you’d pay your rent, it’s basically the same concept.

Yet they don’t use this. I mean, if you borrow a pencil from your friend at school, you just give it back when you’re done. If you borrow a library book from the library, you give it back, there’s no cost.

Yet when we “borrow” money, we have to pay extra. Maybe those bankers from centuries ago did this on purpose!

I’m sure you’ve heard that expression that we aren’t physical beings having a spiritual experience, but we are spiritual beings having a physical experience.

We are eternal, but we are in our bodies for only a blip of a split second.

Why?

Maybe we’re “borrowing” our bodies, or the matter that makes them up, from the rest of the universe.

Are we here just to have fun? Or do we have a larger purpose?

Is it a free ride, or do we need to “pay rent?”

If so, to who?

Many different religions teach us that our higher purpose is to serve others.

Reminds me of the story of the talents, from the New Testament.

To those who are given much, much is expected.

But what does this mean? What is expected of us? How can we serve others the best?

Maybe by figuring out how to maximize our skills, so we can participate in society by helping to create something that will best serve the most people.

After all, you’ve got a great light within you. Are you going to keep it hidden, or shine it so all can see?

Not only shine it, but make it as bright as you can.

How will you do that?

Maybe that’s the purpose of life itself. To not only shine your light for all to see, but spend your precious little time here maximizing it’s brightness.

Of course, this can be frightening. Not everybody is interested in our light. The world’s got plenty of problems.

But then again, maybe it wouldn’t if everybody would simply shine their lights.

Why not set an example?

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You Are Not A Snowflake

Use Your Uniqueness As Strengths, Not Weaknesses

Follow The Same Path Of Success

One of the BIGGEST mistakes you can make in life is to fully believe or accept the idea of, “My case is different.”

Everybody’s been taught that they are special. They are unique. There’s nobody else like them, and there will never be another person like them. Ever.

Just like a snowflake.

No two are the same. This both true and false. To the extent you know the difference, you will be wildly successful. To the extent you don’t, you’ll spend life in emotional agony, and never know why.

Now, to start off with, let’s address the snowflake is unique myth. In reality, there are two snowflakes that WILL be the same, statistically speaking. But that’s now what we’re talking about.

Let’s just assume that the physical appearance of every single snowflake that ever was, and ever will be is different. As a metaphor if nothing else.

But that doesn’t mean that all snowflakes are created differently. That doesn’t mean that they don’t follow the same laws of physics. That doesn’t mean they’ll all eventually melt, turn into water, and get all their snowflake molecules (which is WATER, btw) mixed back in with everything else.

So yea, they’re all different. But they’re also all the same.

Which means you, as a human, are the same and different than everybody else.

You have the same basic desires. You face the same basic obstacles. You face the same basic limitations.

It’s only when you start to use your own unique qualities as a reason you CANNOT overcome the same obstacles everybody else has to overcome, is it GAME OVER.

To the extent you believe you CAN overcome ANY obstacle, if merely because somebody else did, then you will ALWAYS eventually be successful.

Here’s an example. Every guy would like a girl. Usually a girl that’s pretty, nice, friendly, and intelligent.

And every guy also has a bunch of reasons why they think they CAN’T get that girl.

Every. Single. Guy.

The ones that get the girl, don’t listen to their own excuses. The ones that don’t, do.

Once I knew this doctor. Smart guy. Good looking guy. Rich guy. Friendly guy. But he was also about 5’5″.

He had a rock solid belief, that no “quality girls” would date short guys. This was his REASON for thinking that he was EXCUSED from not facing the same obstacles every other guy faces.

Namely, trying and getting rejected and trying again. Over and over until you finally get the girl you want.

Because he was TOO AFRAID to even try, he created what he thought was a REASON to not try.

He thought HE WAS DIFFERENT. Every single piece of evidence he saw to the contrary, he kept telling himself the same lie. “Yea, but I’m different.”

If you hear yourself telling yourself this, it’s a lie. Which is good news. Because the single most powerful thing you can do that will SKYROCKET your success with women is to STOP BELIEVING YOUR OWN LIES.

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Fear Killing Mind Tricks

Don't Constrain Yourself With Time

Detach From Time

Most of our fears never come true.

Of course, this nifty truism doesn’t keep those imaginary fears from keeping us stuck!

One thing that can help is some mental “timeline” tricks.

For example, it’s pretty easy to get stuck in the “here and now” when thinking about most stuff.

But as humans, (and not instinct-driven animals) it’s our job to use our brains to our highest capacity.

One way to do that is look at things from different viewpoints, from a time perspective.

For example, it can help to think beyond a time in the future when something particularly nerve wracking is coming up. If you’ve got an important meeting Friday afternoon, for example, you can lessen the anxiety by focusing on what kind of delicious meal you’ll be eating Saturday night.

If you don’t have enough juice left to do ten more sit-ups, you might imagine yourself a month or two in the future when all the sexy people are admiring your six pack.

If you just can’t study for one more second, imagining the good feeling when you ace your exams may give you the extra push you need.

Another way to lessen the effect of our “imaginary” fears is to simply embrace them. Close your eyes, and imagine the worst possible thing that you can imagine. Then fully accept it. Embrace it. Feel all those feelings that would happen, and the energy underneath them.

Then imagine what you’d do next, and then after that, and after that.

If you do this enough, you can lessen any inhibitions that the fear creates.

While this is pretty good for specific fears, like asking for a raise, or asking for a phone number, here’s a way to “go meta.”

Do this when you’ve got some alone time, to sit and contemplate.

Take a deep breath, and close your eyes.

Then imagine the most horrible thing you can, from the perspective of where you are in your life. Your boss fires you, you become homeless, your true love leaves you, whatever.

Don’t worry, this is just a quick mind experiment!

Then fully embrace that situation. 

Then take a step back, and instead of looking at things a couple years down the road, look at things from the perspective of your highest, most eternal self.

That self that exists beyond time, beyond space, beyond the physical body you’re currently occupying.

See this “horrible disaster” as one small speck of experience in a sea of infinite possibility. Of infinite expanding and knowing.

Kind of weird (and potentially scary) the first couple of times, but if you practice a few times a week, for only a couple minutes each time, you may notice some pretty cool changes in your life.

More peace, less fear, more emotional openness.

Give it a try.

This can help:

Kundalini Activator