Category Archives: Uncategorized

How To Avoid Criteria Mismatch

Make Sure You're A Match

Make Sure You’ve Got Enough In Common

If you want to sell something to somebody, you need to have rapport. If you want to persuade somebody of something, you need to have rapport.

Rapport is that deep feeling of connection. That feeling that makes you feel comfortable and fully trusting that person you’re talking to. And contrary to many traditional sales teachings, rapport is mostly unconscious, and not really dependent on the kinds of things you’re talking about.

It’s pretty easy as well. Matching body language, matching rate of speech, matching rep systems if you’re advanced enough. Then once you’ve established you’re in rapport (by checking and making sure you’re pretty much mirroring each other) then you want to start leading.

Meaning you move slightly, and make sure they follow you. Once you’ve established this, you can start getting down to business. 

How long does it take to get rapport? It all depends. If you’re a likeable person and you’re both pretty relaxed to begin with, then it won’t take long. But if you or they are in a bad mood, or maybe you’re in some kind of confrontational environment, then it may never happen.

However, there is a time when creating rapport too fast may not be such a great idea. And that is when you’re meeting somebody who is a potential romantic interest.

Unfortunately, many sales techniques have made their way into the dating world. Certainly, they are very similar.

But there’s an assumption in sales that shouldn’t be in dating. If you’re in sales, everybody is a potential candidate. So long as they’ve got the money, they are a potential customer.

But think about dating. If you are intending to create a relationship, everybody is most certainly NOT a candidate. After all, dating for the long term is about much more than physical attraction. Now, to begin with there absolutely MUST be some physical attraction, but that’s just start.

But you also need to have a lot of other things in common. And until you know what those things are, you should hold off on doing any kind of advanced selling topics.

For example, let’s say you see a girl who is absolutely gorgeous. So you fire up your hypnotic selling machine. Within an hour, she’s dripping with desire and thinks you’re the greatest thing since sliced bread.

And you keep your hypnotic selling machine turn on “max seduction” all the way through your first sexual encounter.

The next day, she’s head over heels in love with you, because you’ve been banging on her hot buttons all night long.

But you don’t really know ANYTHING about her!

What if she has the opposite political beliefs as you? What if you go to daily mass but she’s a witch? What if she’s a vegan and you eat raw steak three times a day? Sure, you can put up with a little bit of differences, but be careful!

The moral of the story? Qualify first, and seduce later.

Develop Instant Rapport With Anybody

Learn To Appreciate The Silence Within

Learn To Appreciate Silence

A lot of us feel it takes a while to “get to know us.”

Which is true, in many ways. After all, humans are very complicated beings with many different layers of complexity.

You can know somebody for a long, long time, and never really know everything there is to know about them.

This part is very straightforward.

Meaning it will take a while to learn anything that’s complicated and diverse. You can only handle so much at any given time.

But on another level, it takes most of us a while to feel comfortable enough with somebody to share certain things about ourselves.

It’s funny when you see a couple at a restaurant, and they’re obviously on a first date. Or maybe some kind of sales meeting, or an interview.

Both people are very careful to project the “right” image to the other person. If you pay close attention, you can usually figure out who’s trying to impress whom, regardless of the situation.

On the other hand, it’s pretty easy to spot couples (opposite sex or not) that are completely comfortable with one another.

They are much more relaxed, have much more open body language, and seem to not worry too much.

One thing that is a clear signal of people who are totally comfortable around each other is how they handle silence.

If you’ve been on a first date, and there was that uncomfortable silence, it can seem terrifying.

But when you’re with a close friend, you can sit for a long, long time and not really say anything.

One of the hallmarks of people who are naturally charismatic and magnetic is they feel this way, all the time, no matter who they’re around.

That’s why we love being around them so much. It’s like they’ve figured out a way to shortcut the “getting to know you” phase and go straight to the “comfortable with long silences phase.”

How do they do this?

Well, for starters they just simply feel like they belong, everywhere they go. They feel comfortable, no matter who they are with, and no matter what they are doing. If a stranger comes up and starts talking, they don’t wonder who they are or what they want. They just enjoy their company.

Many people feel this is a special gift. One that you either have or you don’t.

Luckily, that’s not true. It’s easy to cultivate that ever present feeling of comfort. Just accept who you are, and understand that no matter what happens, you’ll be fine.

Once you get to this level, you’ll be able to relax, and enjoy the world. 

And everything, and everybody in it.

Get Started:

Kundalini Activator

How To Make An Impression On Her

You Don't Need to Be A Clown With Memorized Patterns

How To Be Confident And In The Moment

There’s a very small difference between somebody who’s really funny, and somebody who has a well practiced routine.

Like if you watch comedians a lot, they speak like they’re just jabbering away off the top of their heads. But if you meet them in person, you might get a different idea.

I had a friend once who took his kid see this famous TV comic perform at local fair. They watched him, and really enjoyed his routine. But then they went backstage to see him, and he was TOTALLY different. Withdrawn, closed off, smoking a cigarette, and not very pleasant to talk to.

Of course, not all comics are like this. In fact, the most famous ones can generally turn it on or off at a moment’s notice, but even then it’s not what it appears.

A lot of the great “improv” comics can spin a funny story based on pretty much anything. So it seems like they’re in the moment. But in reality, they have TONS of small, memorized bits based on pretty much every topic. Which means they only need to connect anything anybody says to ONE of these memorized bits, and then it’s off to the races.

To make their “game” even tighter, they are ALWAYS coming up with new material. Meaning they’ll see some woman with a red hat in line at the grocery store, then they’ll come up with a funny story associated with that particular woman, real or not, and file it away for further use.

Now, this sounds like a LOT of work, and it is! But remember, these are the guys that are world famous, and make millions of dollars a year.

Many, many people see game, as in talking to girls, they same way. They feel they need to have a whole collection of memorized patterns and topics, so they can always riff of whatever she says.

This is kind of true, but not really.

Meaning this is the way humans are hard wired to communicate anyway. Meaning if you make it a habit of talking to as many people as you can, just to talk to them, you’ll automatically be collecting a lot of stories based on a lot of different situations.

And your genius brain will AUTOMATICALLY start to bring those stories to mind whenever you’re talking to people. Which, of course, will create a self-fulfilling loop.

You talk to people, and they’ll remind of other people, and you’ll then use those old stories to mix in with that current situation. 

Your experience and anecdotes will grow. Your social comfort will grow. Your ability to be “in the moment” without fear or nervousness will grow.

All you’ve got to do is make a decision to simply start being more social with people. Then when you’re talking to that cute girl, about whatever, you’ll be the most interesting person she’s talked to in a long, long time.

Get Started:

Girlfriend Generator

Do You Have The Brakes On?

Release The Brakes!

Eliminate Internal Resistance

When I was a kid I was in a couple of “races.” 

One was when we had to build these race cars out of wood. The track was just a bit long ramp, and the cars had to coast.

We all had a basic kit to build our cars with, so they were all pretty similar. Adult help was not allowed.

Then we had some kind of tournament where we’d just let them loose, two at a time, until we finally had a winner.

It wasn’t very scientific, more a process kind of thing. Get the kids involved in some kind of project where they have to do things on their own, without any help, and then stand by the results they got.

As you can guess, the biggest difference was resistance. Whoever got their friction levels the smallest had the fastest cars. Since they just coasted, due to gravity, the ones that went the fastest had the least resistance internally (from the wheels) and externally (due to wind resistance).

I remember another time, when I was going on a long bike ride with my buddy. He was having a hard time keeping up. Which was strange, since we’d often trained together and we were in both pretty similar physical condition.

We stopped, thinking maybe something was wrong with his bike. There was. Somehow, his rear brake was slightly engaged, holding him back, and stealing some of his pedaling energy.

This happens quite a lot. Often times we think what’s holding us back is somewhere “out there.” It’s pretty easy to point fingers at others, as it keeps us from owning up to our shortcomings, whatever they may be.

But often times what’s holding us back is something inside. False fears and anxieties, based on stories we told ourselves long go, that we still think are true.

And just like my friends brakes, these false fears are stealing our forward momentum. We are moving forward, but part of us is holding us back. The struggle we feel is completely internal.

Once my friend had uncovered his brake problem, he easily took off ahead of me. Compared to how he was huffing and puffing before, keeping up with me was easy. Too easy, so he left me in the dust.

This is what happens when we learn how to dismantle our internal brakes. It seems easy. So easy we can take off, and leave our old selves in the dust.

Free to sprint up ahead, and achieve things much greater than we’d ever thought possible.

Are you ready?

Kundalini Activator

Don’t Rush Too Fast

Take Time To Screen Her

Screen First Enjoy Later

Most every guru, internet keyboard jockey, or goof hanging out at your local bar will tell you the purpose of pick has one reason, and one reason only. And that is to get laid. Nearly everybody will tell you that if she doesn’t “put out” after the third date (or some other kind of imaginary line in the imaginary sand) then you should unceremoniously kick her to the imaginary curb.

After all, if you’ve put in the time, effort and risk to take her this far, she OWES you that much, right?

Not so fast.

In reality, there’s a lot of hidden problems in this strategy and model.

One is that by making sex with her your main goal, you’ll be overlooking pretty much everything about her. Now, if all you want is sex, and you never want to have a decent relationship past a few weeks or months, then stop reading now.

(Or keep reading, just realize this doesn’t really apply to you.)

But consider a few things. One is that after the thrill of early sex wears off, you’ll be left with HER. Her beliefs, her personality, her hang ups, her strengths, her weaknesses, good habits, and bad habits.

Another thing to consider is that even if you ARE looking for a serious, long term relationship, having sex with her can SIGNIFICANTLY decrease your ability to accurately screen her.

Why?

Mother Nature ain’t an idiot. The main purpose of humans is to make more humans. So when humans start getting some, we pretty much hypnotize ourselves into thinking that EVERYTHING about each other is perfect.

But that self-hypnosis will wear off. And then you’re left with two people that may or may not know each other very well. Sometimes that works out. Sometimes there’s enough overlap, enough shared experiences, enough social pressure from friends, family, religion, etc, to keep the “glue” between you going.

But not always. Sometimes you go down in horribly painful flames.

How can you increase your chances?

Two ways. One is to simply have some criteria aside from her being hot. Figure out the kind of girl you’d like, aside from her looks. These are things like her background, family life, religion, politics, financial views, etc.

The more of these you can discern BEFORE you sleep with her, the better.

Because once you do the deed, that self-hypnosis will kick in, and you’ll start painting the bullseye AFTER you’ve shot your arrow. Right around the target.

This isn’t easy, but it can save you a lot of grief in the long run. You’ll need to figure out how to conversationally find out those things about her within the first couple dates, so you don’t waste too much time on “low probability candidates.”

The more you practice, the easier it will get.

Get Started:

Girlfriend Generator

Are You Hobbled By Brain Bias?

Good Things Come to Those Who Wait

Patience Always Helps

The human mind has all kinds of biases.

One reason is to simply cut down on brainpower energy.

If we find a shortcut in thinking, and it works out, we tend to keep thinking that way.

Sometimes though, we keep thinking that way long past its point of usefulness.

Like when we’re little kids, we learn that it’s sometimes a good idea to keep our mouths shut, or else we’ll get yelled at or get some kind of unwanted social pressure.

Of course, that strategy doesn’t work so well into adulthood, but most of us still have it.

Other biases are hard wired in, as they helped our ancestors. For example, we tend to make cause and effect relationships between things that don’t really have anything to do with each other.

This helped when our world was simple, and filled with predators, but not so much anymore.

This doesn’t stop mainstream media from pushing all kinds of crazy “links” in our face. Of course, two things can be linked, but that doesn’t mean one is causing the other.

There was a scene in the old movie, “The Jerk,” with Steve Martin, where some crazy killer was trying to shoot him. He kept missing, and was blowing up a stack of oil cans.

Steve Martin’s character (The Jerk) came to the conclusion that, “He hates these cans!”

Many of our conclusions based on what we see around us aren’t much better!

Another bias is something called “cognitive dissonance.” This is when we flat our refuse to see things that may prove we are wrong, or not as good as we think we are.

This, of course, can help to protect our ego.

But often times, it keeps us stuck. One of the fastest ways to get better at ANYTHING is to try, fail miserably, look what you did wrong, and then try again.

We did that great when we were kids, but now we’re terrified.

Now when we fail, most of us don’t acknowledge it. Not only that, but we tend to point fingers at others, as if it’s their fault we can’t do what we want, or are even afraid of trying.

But if you’re honest with yourself, you know the truth. This takes a great deal of courage. An amount of courage most people don’t have.

But in those quiet moments with yourself, you’ll know what’s up.

The secret of doing ANYTHING is just getting out there, trying, and learning from all the feedback you get.

Instead of trying to keep your ego safe all the time, imagine how much better you’ll be in the future.

Like I said, most people are terrified of this. They’d rather stay safely in their comfort zone and blame anything and everything.

What about you? Are you willing to do what it takes to unleash your brilliance?

This will help:

Kundalini Activator

Practice Instead Of Study

Leverage Your Human Learning Power

Trial And Feedback

Many guys study pickup and seduction like they study other kinds of subjects in school.

Write stuff down, practice and home in front of a mirror. Pay thousands of dollars to attend seminars and role play in a safe environment where everybody behaves “correctly.”

But the thing about humans is that we are natural learners. Other animals have various specialities. Cheetahs can run fast. Zebras can blend together and look like one huge crazy animal.

Tigers have super sharp teeth and super sharp claws and can pretty much digest anything.

Monkeys can hang from tree branches with their tails.

Humans, however, can learn. We are THE MOST adaptable animal. We are born so UN-fully formed, that we live a large percentage of our lives in “learning mode.” And it really never shuts off.

Before even 5% of any population ever HEARD of school, or “traditional learning” people were inventing airplanes, telescopes, steam engines.

They didn’t go to seminars. They didn’t learn that from books.

They tried, and measure what happened afterwards. Then they tried again.

Now, this may take some conscious thought if you are trying to invent something like an airplane or a telescope.

But if it has ANYTHING to do with human interaction and communication, you don’t need to be taught. You don’t need any special methods or techniques or patterns.

You just need courage. The courage to practice, and get feedback. Now, some people will call this failure.

And sure, if the Earth is about to explode an hour from now, and you really need to get laid before everybody dies, then yea, not getting her number may be considered a failure.

But otherwise, it’s just one more piece of data in a LONG lifetime of endless learning.

The ONLY thing you really need to do to get better with women is practice. Forget about the outcome. Just enjoy  the process.

Start talking to anybody and everywhere, wherever you go. Be friendly. Be outgoing. Talk to old ladies. Talk to your waiter. Talk to the guy or the girl working at the coffee shop. Don’t game anybody or sell any MLMs or try and do anything sneaky.

Just talk to people and enjoy people. The more you do this, the easier it will get.

Pretty soon, talking to cute girls won’t be so difficult. Then you’ll make a startling realization. After talking to them for a couple of minutes, you’ll find you start to lose interest with a LOT of cute girls.

Simply because you’re not so desperate anymore, you start to notice their personalities. Some will match yours, but a lot won’t. That’s fine. That’s normal. That’s good. That’s healthy.

Then you’ll find the REAL FUN. Talking to girls not to impress them, or to game them, or to trick them into sleeping with you.

But to find the right one.

Get Started:

Girlfriend Generator

Are You Running From Pain?

How To Change Your Filters

How To Flip Your Internal Script

There’s a theory in NLP called “meta programs.”

It basically describes a collection of filters that we carry around with us, to make it easier, quicker and less tiresome on our poor brains to make sense of the world.

Scientists have known for a while that our brains take many shortcuts in thinking to save on energy.

Most people are surprised to find out that up to 25% of the calories you burn in any single day are from your brain.

Which is why you feel so tired after studying or thinking or worrying. 

So long ago, Mother Nature decided that shortcuts in thinking would be a good thing, all else considered.

Which is the theory behind these “meta programs.”

They’re not quite set in stone, meaning you can change them, but they do take a while to change on their own.

One of the most well know is whether a person is motivated by pain, or pleasure.

If you’re motivated by pain, then you only get motivated when there’s a clear and present danger. If the danger goes away, so does the motivation.

This is what leads plenty of us to look in the mirror, get disgusted with our bodies, and then vow to change our physical shape. Only when the pain of looking at our flabby belly passes by, we lose the motivation.

Same goes with making money. When you’re close to the end of you’re rope, you’ll do anything for a buck.

But once you’ve got enough to pay the rent, the bills, and a little extra in the bank, that motivation fades.

On other hand, you could be motivated by pleasure, rather than pain. Meaning if you’ve got a goal, and the closer you get to it, the more motivation you feel.

I’m sure you won’t be surprised to find that most people are motivated by pain, and not pleasure.

This is why almost all advertisements rely on building up pain, then promising to take it away, so long as you buy the product.

Then as soon as you buy the product, the pain is gone. Until you see another advertisement. Then the whole process repeats itself.

I don’t know about you, but making pain avoidance your main strategy doesn’t seem like a great way to live life.

If you are totally successful, all you’ll do is avoid pain. If you’re in pain, getting rid of it IS the most important thing.

But once the pain goes away, there’s not much else.

Like I said, this can be changed. It takes time, and effort, but it is worth it.

Instead of running away from things, you can train your mind-body system to run toward things. Things you want. Things that inspire you. Things that empower you.

Your higher self.

You may say that becoming a fully enlightened human is learning to stop focusing on what you’re moving away from, and start focusing on where you’re going.

This will help:

Kundalini Activator

How To Develop Natural, Automatic Game

Practice Makes Perfect

Practice Makes Perfect

If you think back to your best nights with people in general, or girls in particular, you will likely come to a startling (or maybe not so startling) conclusion.

None of those nights or days happened because you were running some ultra tight game, where you were viewing your conversations with others like some high level chess game. You weren’t planning your statements and words with a thought of what they’d say next, and what you might say after that, and ten or twenty minutes into the future.

Instead, you were likely very much in the moment. She said something, and you automatically said something back. You didn’t think about it, or choose your words, or even knew how you were going to finish a sentence when you started it.

You were in that mystical magical energy flow that is so rare but so awesome. You say something, she says something you say something, and it just flows back and forth.

Imagine if you tried to play tennis like some guys try and “spit game.” You had some set of moves memorized out, but they only worked if your opponent hit the ball a certain way.

You wouldn’t last long.

Sure, you should practice your backhand, your serve, your forehand, short game, back game (or whatever they call it). All individually, all seriously.

But when you’re playing a game, you just show up and play. Let your instincts do the work. Let your stamina do the work.

And guess what? The more you play, the better you’d get. The more you’d practice, the better you’d get.

But for some reason, guys don’t think of social skills like this. They seem to think you need to follow some set of rules or steps or something.

But in reality, it’s pretty simple. Just keep talking to people. The more people you talk to, the better you’ll get. The more people you talk to, the more experience you’ll get, which means you’ll have more stuff to talk about.

If you want to drill certain aspects of “game,” like you would in tennis, you can do that as well.

Just practice eye contact one day. Nothing else. Practice saying hello. Do nothing else until  you say hello to 100 girls. Then practice introducing yourself. Do nothing else. Keep this up until you introduce yourself to 100 girls.

Sure, it may take a while. But if you drill yourself like this, and at the same time, having relaxing, normal, conversations with people whenever and wherever you see them, you will develop some VERY powerful, VERY attractive, and VERY natural game.

The kind you don’t even need to think about. And that wonderful flow will happen again and again and again.

Get Started:

Girlfriend Generator

Listen To Your Friend

Your Unlimited Source of Energy

Your Secret Source Of Energy

Scientists believe we humans have a secret source of energy we almost never know about.

If you’ve ever been in a “do-or-die” situation, then you’ve experienced this.

Maybe you’re completely spent emotionally, physically, even spiritually.

But then you see something or experience something that allows you to get a burst of energy.

It’s like we’re jamming along in “normal” mode, and we have a certain amount of life-juice at our disposal.

But then with the situation changes, we shift into overdrive. Kind of like when Mad Max would switch on the Nitrous Oxide on his Interceptor, giving his car a sudden boost of enormous power.

I’ve you’ve never experienced this, I’m sure you’ve heard about it. Mothers lifting cars off their kids. People suddenly getting enormous bursts of fear killing power and rushing into burning buildings.

This comes out in other ways as well. If you’ve ever been highly intoxicated, yet somehow made it home, got undressed and into bed without issue. It’s like we’ve always got a “watcher” that’s making sure we’re OK.

A lot of folks have trouble with this. They like to believe that our conscious minds are all we have. If we don’t understand something, or if we can’t control it, it doesn’t exist.

But you know the reality of our mind-body system is much, much deeper and much more profound than we can understand consciously.

If you’ve ever known the phone was going to ring, or somebody was about to knock on your door, you have experienced this.

That “other” part of you that is much more than anybody will ever know.

Sadly, most people refuse to acknowledge this. Maybe they are afraid, maybe it threatens their imaginary control over their lives, who knows.

But in the deep silence of your mind, you can connect with your “friend.”

And you’ll find that this “friend” is much more than you will ever realize.

He or she is only a thought away. A connection of deep and lasting resonance. To help you, to guide you, to support you.

Are you ready to listen?