Category Archives: Uncategorized

The Statistics Of Seduction

Get Your Numbers Up!

How To Minimize Anxiety

If you want more success with women, then you’ve got to fail more often.

This is true of anything.

Now, most people don’t like to hear this. Especially when it comes to feeling confident talking to girls and not worrying too much about what happens.

Rejection sucks. Getting rejected in a social setting sucks even worse. 

But consider this, everything you learned how to do, you either learned from trial and error, or modeling.

Now, I’m not talking about some dates in history that you memorized for a history test. I’m talking about skills. Walking, talking, driving, any kind of sports or music.

Generally speaking, any learning involved modeling, which just means copying somebody else, and trial and error.

Think about a little kid who learns to walk. He or she sees all the other adults around, standing and walking on two legs. Much more efficient than four legs, right?

So they give it a try, and fall flat on their face. And laugh. And try again. And fail. And laugh. And continue until they succeed.

Being able to walk up and confidently talk to girls, and walk away JUST as confident regardless of what happens is also a skill.

And just like any other skill, it requires practice. Lots of practice.

But whenever most guys walk up to a girl, they tell themselves that THIS girl is going to be the one for them. If they succeed, they’ll be the happiest guy on Earth.

If they fail, they’ll be miserable for the rest of their lives.

Hard to practice under the sitatuions.

But practice you must, says Master Yoda.

How can you practice? One way is to simply keep some stats. Just of yourself. Not to show off to your boys or post online or try to prove your alpha-ness. Just to keep the idea of practice firmly in your mind whenever you see a cutie.

Just write down the number of girls you made eye contact with, smiled at, talked to, exchanged names with, etc.

Keep it in Excel or another form. It’s really BEST if you don’t share this with anybody.

Once you get started, you’ll see girls in a different light. It will seem much LESS like a do or die situation, and much more like practice.

Becuase you’ll have proof that every single girl is a stat. (Within YOUR experience).

Imagine if a baseball team played every single game like it was the last game of the world series.

They’d be a basketcase! In truth, if a team is a few games over 500, they’re doing pretty good. Since they play 162 (I think…) games a year, they KNOW they are bound to lose some.

Since baseball is the most statistically driven sport on Earth, they all know this.

So will you when you start keeping stats.

This will jack up your confidence, and make you much more attractive.

And pretty soon, those cute girls will be trying to get YOU into a relationship.

Had Enough TV Yet?

Start Your Journey

Answer Your Calling

One common theme among many movies is the “reluctant hero” idea.

Some normal guy or girl is hanging out, and suddenly something happens.

They don’t have a choice to “step up” and do something magnificent.

And often, they have a choice between using their new “power” for good or for evil.

Since these are movies, or stories with a “meaning,” the hero usually chooses the path of righteousness instead of evil.

But in real life, that is all from certain.

When I was a kid, I’d used to complain to my parents.

“I didn’t ask to be born!”

This is one of the reasons we identify with all the movie and story heroes that are “called” rather than people who consciously decide to become heroes.

None of us asked to be here. (At least not in this plane of existence.)

But here we are.

The BIG question is, what are you going to do about it?

Many folks (who have decided to use their powers for selfish purposes) would rather you NOT discover who you really are.

They would MUCH rather that part of you stays hidden, and you live a life of “quiet desperation.”

Unfortunately, most people are happy to comply.

Sure, they complain that life sucks. That they are always broke. That they never catch any breaks.

Then they proceed to tear open another bag of Cheetos and see what those crazy Kardashians will do next.

The bottom line is that because you are reading this now, there’s something inside of you that knows something’s fishy.

That there’s something more to TV, fast food, and the ever popular finger-pointing blame game.

Once again, what are you going to do about it?

It’s scary to leave your safe comfort zone behind.

But outside of your comfort zone is where all the good stuff is.

The REALLY good stuff, that most people only see on TV.

Will you go after it?

It’s not easy, it’s far from guaranteed, and it ain’t quick.

But you didn’t show up here to live the easy life. The safe life. The TV life.

You showed up here to achieve something MAGNIFICENT.

What are you waiting for?

Seduction: Manipulation Vs. Persuasion

Don't Be This Guy

Beware Of Mind Tricks

The structure of persuasion is pretty simple. Honest persuasion, that is.

In fact, the structure of dishonest manipulation is pretty simple as well.

Everybody has “triggers” things that we respond to unconsciously. Without really thinking.

For example, “social proof” is a trigger that humans are hard wired to notice. If a crowd is going one way, we’ll generally go with the crowd.

Scarcity is another thing. If something is running out, it will seem more valuable, even if we don’t really know what it is.

Another one is commitment and consistency. We tend to do what we’ve done in the past.

All of these are designed to save energy on brain power. Our brains use a lot of energy. And energy is pretty scarce, at least it was when our minds were being built here on Earth.

So if you can set up anything, sales, seduction, whatever, based on these instinctive triggers, people will generally go along with you.

Until they suddenly find out that what you’ve got isn’t really what you’ve promised.

The problem with this instinctive triggers is that they can make ANYTHING seem really special and valuable. But once the effect of the triggers wear off, they’ll see that “thing” (which is usually YOU, btw), for what it REALLY is. Which is usually not nearly as great as they thought it was.

That’s why using these in seduction is not really a good idea, unless you are some kind of “pump-n-dump” or “hit-it-and-quit-it” type of guy.

So if that’s manipulation, what’s persuasion?

Kind of the same. Only you find out what their (whoever THEY are) SPECIFIC triggers are based on the situation.

If you’re selling a car, for example, you find out what specific things get their juices flowing when they think about their idea car.

If you’re talking about a health club membership, you talk about their ideal health goals and how they’d like to achieve them.

Then it’s just a matter of taking their specific triggers, and matching them up with your product, if you can.

Now, if you FIRST find out what their specific triggers are, THEN see that they match your product pretty closely, THEN use their unconscious, pre-programmed triggers, they’ll literally fall in love with you and your product.

If you can do this consistently in sales, you can make a TON of money.

How does it apply to seduction and dating? 

Same basic structure.

Just get them talking in terms of what they’re looking for in a relationship. Of course, you can’t do this overtly, it’s got to be covert.

But however you do so, when you get them talking in terms of love, commitment, a future together, a family, whatever, you’re doing pretty good.

And if you see there’s a match, even better. Once you do, then you can start using the unconscious triggers, and you’ll be home free.

Just DON’T use these to build up emotions for short term fun, especially if SHE’S looking for long term stuff.

That’s pretty evil, and it WILL come back to haunt you.

But so long as you’re open, honest and on the up and up, this works pretty well.

Why You Shouldn’t Follow ALL The Rules

You Know Which Ones to Break, Right?

Some Were Made To Be Broken

When I was a kid, me and my friends loved to “sneak” into the movies.

This was a long time ago, when they had color coded ticket stubs, AND guys standing at the door to each theater to check your ticket.

We’d save our stubs, and after a while we would have all the colors, so we could “re-use” them to see a couple movies in one afternoon.

I don’t know about you, but many of my fond memories from my youth revolve around trying to “break” or “bend” the rules.

Being about to sneak around authority without getting caught is always pretty fun.

Especially when the “authority” is some kind of puffed up guy trying desperately to get people to believe in his “authority.”

Of course, we did go too far a few times. Once my buddies and I were into collecting bicycle air caps.

Those things that screw on the top of the air stem on your bicycle tire.

Once we saw this really cool motorcycle, with these really cool chrome caps on the air stems.

I reached down to “feel it,” being a kid I wanted to “touch” everything I wasn’t supposed to.

Then this big scary biker dude (at least from a kids standpoint) came out and accused me of trying to let the air of his tires.

I don’t remember exactly what I said, but I DO remember that I ran away quickly after that.

The truth is that some rules ARE meant to be broken, and some rules ARE meant to be obeyed.

One powerful skill as an adult is to know the ones that don’t really matter, and have the courage to step over the line to see what happens.

Now, I’m sure you’ve got an idea of what “rules” are REALLY ones you simply can’t break.

On the other hand, there are other “rules” that people “make up” not because they are important, but because they make the person saying the rules FEEL important.

I don’t have to tell you this, because you already you know it’s NOT your job to make others feel important.

It is your job, however, to figure out what you want, and get it.

No matter how big, how matter far out there.

Your dreams belong to you, and nobody else.

If somebody tells you that SHOULD behave in a certain way, and that would keep you from achieving your dreams, while only make THEM feel important, well, screw that!

Your job is to break as many as THOSE rules as you need to, in order to make your dreams come true.

It’s not easy. But somebody’s gotta do it.

Why not you?

Always Be Ready To Bounce

Keep One Of These In Sight At All Times

Always Have An Exit Strategy

What thing that can get anybody into a heap of trouble is having unrealistic expectations.

It works like this. You think you’re going to get something good. Doesn’t matter what. But if something happens and you DON’T get it, you’re going to feel cheated.

Now, if you think you might have one more slice of pizza leftover from last night, but really don’t, that’s not so bad.

The trouble comes when you think you are going to get something from somebody else.

Most people set themselves up for HUGE pains when they think they are getting something they deserve, and it doesn’t show up.

Even if somebody tells you they are giving you something for free, and then they change their mind, you’re going to feel cheated.

There’s no rhyme or reason to this, it’s just human nature.

And when there’s sex or romance of affection involved, it REALLY hurts.

Guy walks up to a girl, and he does everything right. She’s even into him for a while, friendly, flirty, touchy-feely, etc.

Then he number closes her, and gets shut down.

In this situation, it is REALLY easy to feel burned. Like she played you for a chump. Like she’s off with her buddies laughing all the free booze she mooched off you.

And yes, this DOES happen. Quite a bit.

But guess what?

Getting angry will ONLY make it worse.

Getting angry or hurt because of what a girl DIDN’T give you will make you much LESS attractive, not the other way around.

This why any idea of “deserving” should be absolutely ABSENT from your mind whenever you’re interacting with the ladies.

No girl wants to end up with a guy that she’ll feel any sort of obligation to.

No guy wants that either.

Humans are hard wired to cherish our freedom. Our freedom of thought.

Whenever you try to put her in a box where she SHOULD behave in a certain way, you’re basically trying to get her to be your willing mind slave.

Nobody likes doing things because they HAVE to. We only want to do things because we CHOOSE to.

So next time you’re out and about, think of how you could behave and interact with her so she’ll CHOOSE you, rather than feel obligated by any imaginary social pressure.

How do you do this?

Luckily, all humans are hard wired to want what we think we can’t have.

This is why being confident AND slightly aloof is so powerful.

Talk to her, enjoy her, but also radiate a slight vibe that says, “I like you, I enjoy you, but if you suddenly vanished from site, I’d recover pretty quickly.”

If she ever THINKS she has you, you’re done.

And any sign of neediness or expectation of what she SHOULD do is about a clear a sign as you can send that she does indeed have you.

Avoid this at all costs.

Friendly, confident, playful, and ready to bounce at any moment.

Have You Started Your Hero’s Journey?

Are You Thinking Like A Robot?

Think For Yourself

Long time ago I had this job as a telemarketer.

It only lasted about a week, because I absolutely hated it, but the training was pretty insightful.

Not in learning any kind of useful skills, but the mindset of the guy who put together the whole thing.

This was during the early 2000’s when real estate was booming. The job was to sell this marketing package to real estate agents.

But the way the trainer (and founder) described these people was pretty horrible.

His opinion was that people have no real control of their thinking, and if you only push a few buttons, it’s easy to get them to do whatever you want.

That guy had an incredibly low opinion of his customers.

Before every shift, he’d get everybody in this one room to “pump us up” and build up some story that we were giving these poor customers some life or death information.

If you’ve seen the movie “The Wolf of Wall Street,” it was very similar to that.

The truth is that there are a LOT of people like that.

People who have low regard for their customers, and who see all of us as easy marks, just desperate to buy the next “thing.”

Unfortunately, the only reason they think that is because it works.

Most of us are TERRIFIED of thinking for ourselves. We would much rather be told what to do, even if it’s some kind of con, than try and figure it out on our own.

But if you’re honest with yourself, you know that is the biggest con of all.

That inside you is a literal HERO just waiting to come up.

But if you continue to expect others to tell you what to do, step by step, that HERO is going to stay hidden.

And when I say “hero” I’m not talking dressing up and fighting crime, or flying around with a cape.

I’m talking about REAL LIFE heroes. The kind build things, invent things, create things that other people desperately need.

The kind that aren’t afraid to express themselves without concern social pressure or “what others will think.”

The kind of folks that society NEEDS to keep functioning.

One of the main goals of the hero is to FIND the journey.

Not to be told what to do, or how to do it, or how to stay safe.

Your purpose in life is to not only unleash your inner hero, but to be the one who defines their journey.

Where you are going, and how you will get there.

Are you ready?

This will help:

Self Confidence Generator

Your Biggest Obstacle To Love

It's All In Your Head

Hint: It’s All In Your Mind

Most everything you’ll read or be sold today regarding seduction and dating is partly a scam.

I don’t mean that sellers or bloggers are scamming readers or customers. It’s the people reading and buying that are scamming themselves.

The biggest block to guys getting the girls they want is fear. I know many guys will disagree, and say their not afraid. It’s just that the market is too bad. Or they don’t want to spend a lot of money. Or they don’t have the right job, or whatever.

But think about this, if you can. Imagine you’re at the grocery store, and you’d like an apple. You have an idea of the perfect apple. So you head over to the apple cart. You start picking up the apples, looking at them, feeling their softness or hardness. Finally after ten minutes or so (you’re REALLY picky when it comes to apples) you finally settle on the perfect one.

Now, when you were picking up any individual apple, what were your emotions like? Afraid, nervous, worried, impatient, bored?

Most likely not. You looked at this big pile of apples and were pretty certain you’d find ONE that would be perfect. It may take a few minutes, but you KNEW you’d find one. The entire time, you’d likely be thinking “Man, this is going to taste SO GOOD!”

Now, just for the sake of argument, imagine if you could talk to girls, all girls, with the same mindset. Zero fear, zero anxiety, zero worry, zero consideration to what other people were doing or whether or not they were watching you.

Would you have ANY trouble finding your dream girl, REGARDLESS of your status in life?

Nope.

But many guys are terrified to admit they are terrified. So they come up with all kinds of excuses. Some of them cover up their fears by approaching and closing TONS of women, creating numerous but shallow relationships that are based on nothing but drunken fun. (Not that there’s anything wrong with drunken fun!)

The structure is the same, inspecting apples vs. dating girls, but the time period is far, far longer.

What if you were as completely open and fearless with not only talking to girls, but dating them, and completely and confidently opening yourself up to them?

Not only that, but what if you had such rock solid criteria, you’d know RIGHT AWAY if they were your type or not. There’d be NO WAY they could fool you.

What would your life be like then?

Would you need a billion and one pick up lines? Would you need to strategically organize your bedroom for the most efficient, resistance free closing?

Most likely not.

Obviously, this is much more easier said than done. Even admitting that the biggest problem is emotional resistance is tough for most guys.

It’s hard to let go of being able to blame the world, blame society, blame women, whatever.

But once you realize all you need to do is get over your irrational fears, there’s a whole world of women out there just waiting to be loyal to a guy like you.

Is Life Really One Big Scam?

Anybody Got A Left Handed Bacon Stretcher?

How To Out-Con The Conners

I remember a long time ago, when I was in boy scouts, we had this crazy game we’d play.

It was only when we had these once a year “Jamborees” where hundreds of troops would get together and have all these competitions.

We’d all have our camps set up in this big huge circle around the competition area, which was at least a square mile.

The game was unspoken, but understood by all the different troops. Everybody would take their newest members, and send them out looking for something that didn’t exist.

My favorite was a “left handed bacon stretcher.”

The kids would go from troop to troop, and ask if they had one. The guy who answered the question would say, “No, we don’t, but I’m pretty sure that troop 634 has one.” And that troop would be the furthest away.

Now, the reason I thought this game was so fun was not in conning younger scouts. It was fun because me and my buddy would pretend to BE younger scouts going around asking for the craziest thing, and seeing how far we could push the envelope.

It was pretty fun, at least as kids, to pretend to be the “mark” while all the other guys, at least in our minds, were the “marks.”

Of course, this “game” doesn’t stop once we get older.

It seems that everybody is telling us half truths, and then happily sending us on our way, usually far, far away, so by the time we figure the jig is up, that other guy is long gone.

This partially stems from the fact that few people are comfortable saying, “I don’t know,” so they make up some half baked answer so they don’t feel stupid, and then send you away with only a partial answer.

Another reason this happens is many people are desperate to claim some kind of social status by giving you some convoluted answer, usually having nothing to do with your original question.

Politicians pull this crap all the time. Somebody asks them a question they either can’t answer, or don’t want to answer, so they simply spin it off into something else, which makes them look good, but ignores the original question.

What’s the answer?

Unfortunately, it’s ultimately up to you.

Which means few people will give you the straight dope. Few people will put their own social status aside to help you out.

Few people will tell you how it really is.

It’s up to YOU to take pretty much everything with a grain of salt, and kind of figure it out on your own, from experience.

Most people don’t like to hear this. Most people hate that it’s like this.

But the truth is that once you accept this for what it is, and why it is this way, life can be pretty fun.

Like like my buddy and I when we were kids, you can turn the whole “con” into your own game, where you can get the upper hand.

This will help:

Self Confidence Generator

Why Waiting May Be A Good Idea

Good Things Come To Those Who Wait

Why Patience Is Always A Virtue

Attraction is a two way street. And it’s never static. What turns a woman on tonight might repulse her in a few weeks or months.

It’s a commonly held truth that those things you think are so cute in the beginning of a relationship will drive you nuts later on.

Since having a solid woman at your side through thick and thin is such a crucially important thing to most guys, it should take some time.

Think in terms of economics. Things that are the most valuable to us are the most costly. If it only costs you a few minutes time, it’s not going to be very valuable.

That girl that’s easy to f-close within a few hours of meeting her is simply not likely going to hold much long term value. Not that there’s anything wrong with short term flings. People enjoy them for many reasons.

Just understand short term flings are much different than long term, solid relationships built on mutual attraction and respect.

Unfortunately, many guys have bought the notion that any short term fling SHOULD somehow magically turn into a long term relationship.

This is natural. Before a guy has sex, he thinks of a girl a certain way. After he has sex (unless he’s super experienced or super jaded) he’s going to think of her a lot differently.

Our caveman brains think we’ll only be able to get laid with one or two women our entire lives. So as soon as a guy gets laid, his caveman brain starts telling him “She’s The One!”

Of course, most guys short term game is not really their true selves. It’s really just a show. So when the real him starts to show up, she gets turned off. That smooth operator she met the night before is now some needy beta who wants her to turn into wifey-poo.

Of course, short term flings can turn into long term relationships. Happens all the time. 

It just might not be the best strategy for finding that special someone to spend your life with.

That’s why criteria of a non-sexual, non-physical nature is essential. If you don’t have some, consider getting some.

Then once you’ve got some, consider screening her for non-sexual, non-physical criteria BEFORE you hit the sheets.

I know, this is not very popular advice. Obviously if you’re the “hit-it-and-quit-it” type, this won’t work.

But if you’re looking for something more, this may work for you.

Because while you’re filtering her based on non-sexual, non-physical criteria, something else is happening.

You’re building up a common experience. One of getting to know each other. One of spending time together based on the interaction between your brains. That is pretty rare these days.

It’s a lot of work, to be sure. And it will require a lot of “delayed gratification,” something most guys aren’t really capable of these days.

But if you ARE looking for something more permanent, this will help.

Are You Waiting For A Miracle?

Life Is A Journey, Not A Destination

Never Ending Journey

I remember once, a long time ago, I was hanging out in the physics lab at my uni.

All kinds of cool equipment.

The guy that was responsible for maintaining the equipment was “famous” for giving out wise advise. He’d been there a long time, had known a lot of professors, and had seen his share of students, both exceptionally brilliant and exceptionally average.

Anyhow, he gave me and my buddies a piece of advice I’ll never forget. One because it continues to be true, no matter how much experience I get and no matter much older I get.

Two because at the time it kind of shattered a “dream” that I had.

Being young and dumb, I thought that if I studied hard enough to get a degree, then I’d be on easy street.

I figured companies would want to hire me, then all I’d have to do is show up, work and get paid.

But what he said contradicted that “myth.”

He said life was like a poker game, and any degree, no matter how expensive or prestigious or highly regarded, was merely the “ante” into the poker game of life.

In case you’re not up on the poker lingo, an “ante” is the minimum first bet you need to play.

It’s not uncommon for poker games to start off with a dollar ante to end up with pots of several hundred, or several thousand dollars.

There I was, a young kid, thinking I’d get a degree, and I’d be on easy street.

But like I said, that’s been proven to be a myth, over and over again.

Now, this may seem like a horrible thing. Like life is one big con job where you are “tricked” into thinking that “all you have to do” is X, Y or Z, and you’ll just sit back and enjoy everything.

But the truth is, if life really WERE like that, it would be pretty boring.

It might seem like a relief if you suddenly came into a lot of money, but sitting around enjoying the good life would get REALLY monotonous after a while.

It may not seem like it, especially if you’re struggling, which a LOT of people are these days.

But it’s a well known and often proven fact that when people win the lottery, or otherwise come into a lot of money, it actually makes things a LOT worse.

So what’s the answer?

To realize that life is one long journey. A succession of smaller goals, that will all stack up into one magnificent creation. 

Not a “once and done” kind of thing.

A step by step, always learning, always growing, and always getting better kind of thing.

If you aren’t sure where to start, this will help: