A lot of us feel it takes a while to “get to know us.”

Which is true, in many ways. After all, humans are very complicated beings with many different layers of complexity.

You can know somebody for a long, long time, and never really know everything there is to know about them.

This part is very straightforward.

Meaning it will take a while to learn anything that’s complicated and diverse. You can only handle so much at any given time.

But on another level, it takes most of us a while to feel comfortable enough with somebody to share certain things about ourselves.

It’s funny when you see a couple at a restaurant, and they’re obviously on a first date. Or maybe some kind of sales meeting, or an interview.

Both people are very careful to project the “right” image to the other person. If you pay close attention, you can usually figure out who’s trying to impress whom, regardless of the situation.

On the other hand, it’s pretty easy to spot couples (opposite sex or not) that are completely comfortable with one another.

They are much more relaxed, have much more open body language, and seem to not worry too much.

One thing that is a clear signal of people who are totally comfortable around each other is how they handle silence.

If you’ve been on a first date, and there was that uncomfortable silence, it can seem terrifying.

But when you’re with a close friend, you can sit for a long, long time and not really say anything.

One of the hallmarks of people who are naturally charismatic and magnetic is they feel this way, all the time, no matter who they’re around.

That’s why we love being around them so much. It’s like they’ve figured out a way to shortcut the “getting to know you” phase and go straight to the “comfortable with long silences phase.”

How do they do this?

Well, for starters they just simply feel like they belong, everywhere they go. They feel comfortable, no matter who they are with, and no matter what they are doing. If a stranger comes up and starts talking, they don’t wonder who they are or what they want. They just enjoy their company.

Many people feel this is a special gift. One that you either have or you don’t.

Luckily, that’s not true. It’s easy to cultivate that ever present feeling of comfort. Just accept who you are, and understand that no matter what happens, you’ll be fine.

Once you get to this level, you’ll be able to relax, and enjoy the world. 

And everything, and everybody in it.

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