Deal With Those Inner Voices
Most people don’t know this, but you do.
Few notice this, but you know it’s there.
A battle of ideas, intentions, desires.
Part of you wants to move forward, but then a split second later, too quick for most to notice, another part steps in with the doubts. The worries. The “what ifs.”
When I went bungee jumping, the guy at the top said don’t hesitate. Don’t look down. Just look straight ahead, count to three and lean forward. If you look down, you’ll talk yourself out of it.
This is a clear example of what happens that everybody understands. But when you want to speak up in a crowd, say something in a meeting, or approach an interesting stranger, it happens too quickly for most to notice.
What’s worse, that second voice is the most persuasive voice you’ll ever hear. Not only does that voice convince you it’s not a good idea to do what you wanted to do, but it’s actually BETTER if you don’t.
And if you’ve got a super advanced Jedi ninja in your brain, you may even find yourself patting yourself on your back for your “advanced insight” that keeps you from doing what you wanted to do anyway!
How did we get this way?
Once upon a time, we would move forward with nothing but enthusiasm and excitement. Then we learned that sometimes it was not such a great idea. Adults yelled at us. Teachers scowled at us. Those with “moral authority” shook their fingers at us.
So that secondary voice isn’t REALLY trying to hurt us, it’s trying to protect us.
But like those 100 year old Japanese soldiers still living in the jungle, they don’t know the war’s over.
They believe it’s still raging.
Which means yelling at them, cursing at them, thinking they are somehow proof of your “brokenness” isn’t the best way to approach them.
Kindly let them know they’ve done their job well. They did a fantastic job keeping you safe when you were a kid and surrounded by well meaning but not always effective adults.
Tell them to stand down. You’re an adult now. You can deal with whatever comes up.
Let them know you’ll check in from time to time, maybe for advice, maybe just have a few laughs over the old times (like when you got yelled at by your teacher in front of the class).
But other than that, it’s all you.
Set yourself free.
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