Stay On Target!

Being able to stay on topic is a true measure of frame control.

Many guys get confused with the term, “frame control” as it’s one of those fuzzy concepts that’s hard to understand. There’s no specific language patterns or body language or any way to “measure” somebody’s frame.

Somebody Will Always Be In Control

But if you take a look at people, in groups or in pairs, in public places, you can sort of tell who’s controlling the frame, at least at the moment.

If you took a look at two people talking, girls guys or whatever, and you QUICKLY had to guess who was the most “dominant,” that would be the person who was controlling the frame. And when I saw QUICKLY, I mean in less than two seconds.

Dominant body language, dominant facial expressions, and dominant voice tone are all clues.

Be The Center Of Attention

The guy who’s talking while everybody else is nodding while keeping their eyes glued to him is in control of the frame. When the other people talk, they look as though they are “seeking approval” slightly, or “hoping for acceptance” or some similar type of posturing.

Now, when talking to girls, they will ALWAYS try and control the frame. Let’s be honest, everybody likes power, everybody likes to be in control. Everybody likes to be the “boss” of the conversation.

Girls LOVE the idea of being surrounded by guys who are desperate for her approval. It gives them social status, makes them much more attractive, and offers plenty of social proof.

Waiting For Scraps Isn’t The Answer

But you know as well as I do that those guys will almost NEVER get into her good graces. Simply by standing around her, like planets orbiting the sun, they’re basically given up any semblance of a dominant frame in exchange for merely being in her presence.

So, how do you control the frame?

Strong Intentions

ALWAYS have a clear intention in your mind, and ALWAYS keep the conversation going BACK to that intention.

Think of a really, really smooth politician. They’ve got a clear agenda in mind, and no matter WHAT goofball question the reporters ask, they always steer the conversation back to their agenda.

They don’t get mad, they don’t get butt hurt, they just smile, validate the question, give a “good enough” but “vague enough” answer, and get back to THEIR agenda, NOT the reporters.

Stick To Your Outcome No Matter What

If you’ve got a STRONG outcome in mind (that what you WANT out of the conversation) and you have some conversational flexibility, no matter WHAT she says, you’ll be able to steer her back, covertly and carefully, to YOUR outcome, not hers.

And every time you do so, and SHE follows, her attraction to you will increase significantly.

To expand your conversational flexibility, check this out: