Here’s the basic structure of any persuasion. But first, understand one thing. Some, all, or none of these parts are unconscious, and conscious. If you’re persuading something in a pure sales or negotiation session, they will  mostly be conscious. Everybody knows what’s going on.

If you’re creating attraction, most will be unconscious. In an attraction setting, most happen on their own, without either person really knowing what’s going on. That’s why the term “falling in love” is the way it is. We “fall” in love, we don’t “go in love” or “enter in love” or “step into love.” The use of the verb “fall” indicates it’s something that happens without us really knowing what’s going on. Like walking down the street, staring at your iPhone, and falling into a ditch. (Nice metaphor, eh?)

Why is that important? Because any time you use any kind of conscious technology to “force” an unconscious process, there’s all kinds of hidden dangers. Be warned.

Any now, here’s the process that underpins every effective persuasion. (At least ones that don’t come out of the barrel of a gun!)

Rapport

The first step is to create rapport. Get the other person feeling comfortable with you. Get them to let their guard down. Get them to open up and trust. Here’s a secret. If you can do this part well, you’re done. The rest will take care of itself.

Elicit Criteria

This is where you find what’s important to them. If their dreams come true, what would they look like. You’ll know you’ve got rapport when you’re asking them what’s important to them, and they simply won’t shut up. Congratulations!

Leverage Criteria

This is where you show them that what you’ve got is a perfect match for what they want. This when all those crazy language patterns come in. When you can use linguistic technology to show them that their criteria (usually pretty vague) can be found in your products, services, or romantic skills (also usually pretty vague). Here’s a big fat warning: If you can promise them you can satisfy them, and you really can’t, they won’t be happy until you’re dead or in jail. Be careful.

Close

This is you get them to sign the contract, give you their phone number, or go home with you. Here’s another secret. The more you do the previous steps, the easier this part is.

In fact, think of these four steps as a pyramid. The first is the very most important. The next is less important, and so on.

If you do the first really, really well, you don’t need the rest. If you do a pretty good job with the first two, you don’t need the rest, etc.

Here’s another secret. The first two are based only on your abilities to talk to others like a natural, self confident, human being. They have nothing to do with sales skills or seduction skills.

Guess which parts those sales and seduction courses focus on? That’s right. The last two. The two the won’t work for squat if you can’t do the first two.

Now you know why most people suck at sales, and suck at seduction.

They’re doing it wrong.

Do it, and you won’t have any problems. With money, or girls.

mindpersuasion.com